Phillip Johnson - got mad (update 26 Mar 08)

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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 8:14 pm

First came his letter:

Quote:

Part-Time Job Offer
CORNERSTONE OIL & GAS LIMITED
24 Britton Street, Clerkenwell, London, EC1M 5UQ.
Tel: (44)-7024037322

Good Day to you Sir/Madam. I am pleased to give you an offer for
employment as a consultant with our company. We at Cornerstone Oil & Gas have a mission to help individuals with investing into the Oil & Gas sector but due to our wide range of customers and low reach in terms of
offices worldwide, we have decided to make ties with individuals around the world who are willing to be a part of our mission to make the future
bright for our investors.

We have abundant investors in the USA and Europe but sometimes have
difficulties getting their investment bids across to us, your job will
entail the cashing in of investment bids from our investors, in any form
they may come (personalized checks, cashiers check or cash) and sending the funds back to one of our offices through means that will be given to you when the time arises.

Our seasoned workers set up this form of employment so it does'nt
affect your day job if you have one.In an instance whereby you cash in an investment bid for our customer, you will be entitled to 10% of the total
amount you cash. For example; if you cash an investment bid of $3000,
your pay on that bid will be $300, which is subject to change depending
on the number of bids that you cash.You are required to be at least 23
years of age, have at least a High School Diploma or its equivalent
and a minimum of 1 year working experience.

Get back to me with the following information:
=================================================================
1. Full Name
2. Full Residential Address where Investment bids should be mailed to
3. Your contact cell and land phone numbers
4. Date of Birth
5. Occupation
=================================================================

Your reply to this email will serve as an ascertainment of your will to
work with our company.

Yours Faithfully,
Mr. Phillip Johnson
Human Resources Manager
CORNERSTONE OIL & GAS LIMITED
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]

Then came my reply:

Quote:

Dear Phillip,

I find your offer intriguing, however, I want a bigger percentage. I think 60% for me is better.

Let me know what you think.

Ms. XXXX

Then he replied:

Quote:

would you like 100%?

So I replied:

Quote:

Sure that is even better. So what do you propose and how should we proceed?

And, then Phillip got rude!

Quote:

simple...go fuck a tree trunk

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 5:00 am

Hey, sometimes these things happen! You never know, that's why we experiment with different approaches. I'm glad you posted this. Since you included his very professional collection of anonymous email addresses, I assume you won't mind if he gets a response from a less greedy worker!

He doesn't read like the usual lad - makes me a bit curious...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 5:18 am

Go for it! I think he needs to be visited by many. I was at work when the email showed up so I couldn't really respond in my usually manner.

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:04 am

i really hope you haven't dropped him, imagine what he's going to say when you give him a real serve for dropping the f bomb at you Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:23 pm

Quote:

simple...go fuck a tree trunk

That's some fine siggy material if you ask me.

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:50 am

Good suggestion!

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:17 pm

Now that was one VERY satisfying bait. Laughing

It's fun with a long, drawn-out bait, (unashamed advertisement for Agn3s Mal3prop.... Laughing

), but it must be fun to simply screw with a lads brains in this short fashion now and again. I love it!

Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 5:58 am

Quote:

go fuck a tree trunk

Check for bees first...trust me! Shocked

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 9:27 am

bobby kaye wrote:

Quote:

go fuck a tree trunk

Check for bees first...trust me! Shocked

And watch for splinters Laughing

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 7:20 pm

I can understand a mugu doing a tree but what about you two? Is there something you want to tell us? Cool

Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 9:44 pm

Quote:

simple...go fuck a tree trunk

Not sure why exactly, but this made me laugh out loud...

Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:01 pm

I've got Mr. Johnson on the line again....this time he isn't being so rude. Will let you know what he says and does. The twat!

Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:26 am

So I contact Phillip Johnson under a new name and get this reply:

Quote:

From: [email protected]
Date: Thu, 6 Mar 2008 17:05:41 -0500
Subject: RE: Part-Time Job with Genesis Oil and Gas Consultants Ltd.
To: [email protected]

Hello XXX,

Your job entails being a finance consultant with our company, we have a lot of clients in the USA but sometimes we have problems having our payments sent over to us, so your job entails receiving payments from our company clients, you'd take out 10% for your remuneration and send the balance to our company representative. If you have interest in working with us, get back to me with the following information:

===============================================
1. Full Name
2. Full Residential Address where Investment bids should be mailed to
3. Your contact cell and land phone numbers
4. Date of Birth
5. Occupation
6. Do you have an Equity Account for Direct Transfer?
===============================================

Hope to hear from you soon, have a lovely day.

Phillip Johnson

And I reply back:

Quote:

From: XXX ([email protected])
Sent: Sun 3/23/08 5:00 PM
To: [email protected]; Letts Bernard ([email protected])

Dear Phillip,

My apologies for taking so long to answer. My Uncle Fred died and I have been busy handling his estate. I didn't know that he had so much and I don't know what to do with all of it. Is your offer still open?

Regards,

XXX

Phillip smells an opportunity:

Quote:

From: [email protected]
Sent: Wed 3/26/08 8:14 AM
To: [email protected]

Hello XXX,

How are you today? Sorry to hear about your uncle, Its really unfortunate but I pray heaven grants you the fortitude to bear the loss. The job offer is still open and at the same time you could enroll as one of our company investor. As an investor, you can place a minimum bid of $3,000 and you get a 30% profit margin in 40 days. If this sound beneficiary to you please get back to me and let me know if you want to be an investor or a staff. Hope to hear from you soon. Have a lovely day.

Phillip Johnson

Just wait Phillip, I have an opportunity for you! And, just who is Letts Bernard ([email protected])? Did you slip up? I will keep you all posted.

Edit 28 Mar 08: Chit, I slipped up. This is what I get for staying up way too late. I am the one who accidently inserted Letts Bernard's email address in the reply. Phillip has not said anything yet. Do I just pretend it didn't happen? What should I say if he says something?

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