My trip to Dubai - I am turning into a stockfish

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Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:11 am

Well, I asked for help in my trip to Dubai, and I took some advice from you kind folks.

I had previously used to send some money to my barrister, and it got stopped by Interpol while I was in Dubai, by the way.

During my stay there, a large man burst into my hotel room, knowing all about the deal whereby I was to buy some chemically-treated money, claiming to be Patrick Bateman from the British Government Special Financial Agency and demanding that I hand over the real cash I had brought with me. I left him with some fake currency that I had providentially brought with me, and fled to a hotel in the suburbs whence I sent some messages from an Internet cafe asking for my lad's agents to meet me there, accusing the barrister of shopping me to the authorities. The lad's lads never turned up or replied.

In the meantime, Patrick Bateman (thank you, Mugatu) sent a couple of messages to the lad, claiming to be my security "minder" who was baffled by my sudden disappearance and the discovery of some fake currency in my suitcase.

Anyway, the lad has come back with a couple of interesting messages. This one came to my Yahoo box (which I used to send messages to him, but for some reason it took a long time to come through, and I have only just seen it):

Quote:

After my call to you, i heard a knock at my door and hebold it the business man that gave me the $7500.00 with five armed police men. this was the worst disgrace i have ever had in my life and the man alleged that i duped him the amount above and gave him fake payment slip. [there was no payment slip - this was ] since then i have been kept behind the bars.

it is enshrined in our sonstitution that any person that gives dud payment information shall go in for 2 years. some of my friends have been helping me and it was just this evening that i was granted bail on the strict condition that you have to pay that $7500.00 bank to bank transaction and send to me the actual payment slip. i have been so free with you trusting every of your word byt the recurrening of similar events wonder me.

i saw two mails from one but i have just delected them from my box , i want you to go and make that payment and send to me the slip of the bank to bank payment. i cannot recall the insults and the sufferings that you have made me to undergo. the bank came from their side that i was forced to pay the $10,500.00. this made me to sell the house where i am still living now. i must tell you Ricahrd,i do not want to accept the advice of my friends against you.try send the money before monday

[barrister name redacted on the advice of the author's lawyers]

you should remember to call back if at all you made any payment through . i must tell you that you made mistakes in going to Dubai with fake currency. it is criminal in nature. IF YOU FAIL TO MAKE ACTUAL PAYMENT FROM NOW TILL MONDAY,THE RESULT WILL BE DEADLY AND I WILL NOT HAVE ANY CHOICE

So, that was that... I never actually saw that message, though, until after I had read and replied to this one:

Quote:

I can see that you want to shift the blames of your failures unto those that went to Dubai for our sake, when you did not want them to know your whereabout or identity.i thank God/Allah [Make up your mind] that whatever was thehidden agenda was not executed.

i can bet you and assure you 100% that no body from here or the bank ever conspired against the efforts, and it was carried under reasonable security that the luggage passed the international airport in Dubai without problems.

Remember that when you went to Ghana, you had similiar occurance [yes, I did - Usman Bello came after me at that time] and at each time someone will pickup my email identity and write nonesense to me. [of course, what he's writing is perfectly sensible]i wonder if you fly my email identity any how around about you every time.

You know exactly the business you do that makes your associates there to trace you when you travel out as you said. Better examine yourself Richard. If you had clear,free mind and honesty, you would not have gone to Dubai with fake currency notes.it is reasonable to say that you wanted to kidnapp those people and run away with the money and place the fake currency on them so that the world believe and hear that they wanted to give you the fake currency notes. Again i still thank God/Allah that, they did not release their lodging identity.

Nevertheless,i told you that my life is not finished [that's a relief - I thought a zombie was writing to me]and i am still happy that the managers working with me are still in tight co operation with me since i have made them to have small shares of the money.i want to tell you that one of the personels is still in Dubai with the luggage while the other is back and covering note has been presented that the luggage has been seen and identified by the owner,who is arranging to get the money into his accounts in bits.with this i am still in control.

You suggested that i should provide door to door security or we cancell the business, Richard, you can quit if you like now based on the prevailing situation but know these;

(a)that any body completing the business with us will do so in the full name of richard xxxxxxxx [he has my character's full name wrong] and with the address you gave to me.we may not need your power of attorney any longer as the luggage is no more within Nigeria.

(b) most importantly, whether you want to quit or continue,that 7,500 dollars MUST be paid to the business man,otherwise, you will see with your eyes wide open the full evils of black voodoo missiles on you which will meet you with the following arranged effects; [this is the really good bit]

(1) to suck your blood untill you resemble stockfish.

(2) to make you make love in dream and then you will automatically have HIV/AIDS.

(3) To make you have cases with the police, immigrations and customs departments there untill you are lowered into six feet.

BE WARNED BECAUSE THERE IS NO REMEDY WHEN THEY ARE DISCHARDED TO YOU.

if you want to try or experiment, then do not pay the money before 12th march 2008, then you will gradually see these evils.

I want to tell honestly that the arrangements have been made awaiting your failure to pay that money.

i sold my house to pay the 10,500.doolars to the bank because of your failures and for the first time i was arrested by the police for dupping someone and being a legal personel [EDIT - I thought this was worth bringing to your attention - I didn't know it was a crime in Nigeria to be a legal personel], you should know what means on my records.

i can forgo the 10,500 since the luggage is still under my control but this 7500, you Must pay it or you see what will happen.

Wow! I think I had better get the 10T forms to him and send the money by WU as soon as possible. I can feel myself turning into a stockfish already.

Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:43 am

I think it's time for the rather burly and Daniel Craig like to try to contact this guy again. He's keen to make sure that at least somebody is lowered into six feet. Being a British agent, Pat often has love, usually not in dream, but obviously the AIDS thing is automatic. The stockfish thing is negotiable I hope. Otherwise Pat may have to call in the blowfish.

Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:51 am

I'd hold off till the fbiatyahoo got involved, or at least the 3ffc at yahoo as well

Perhaps k0ff1 annan is willing to help? he helped me once, I still have his email at un1tedn@tions at yahoo number to call if you need back up

Well done Thomas, keep it up

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