zoo bait 2008

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Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:08 pm

We had a Zoo Bait about two years ago ... so I thought I'd dust it off and give it another go.

Its just a fun thing, and I make it up as I go along .... this goes out to 300 Lads

Quote:

Bristol Zoo tm
Research Department

Bristol Zoo Gardens
Clifton, Bristol BS8 3HA
Web Site http://www.bristolzoo.org.uk/

I AM ELEPHANT LEARNING TO TYPE ON COMPUTER AT ZOO

RESPOND

ANDY ELEPHANT

Elephant Intelligence - Bristol Zoo Research Department
This e-mail message is confidential and for use by the addressee only. If the message is received by anyone other than the addressee, please return the message to the sender by replying to it and then delete the message from your computer. Internet e-mails are not necessarily secure.

with this attachment

Just one reply :-

Quote:

DEAR ANDY

IF YOU CAN MAKE ONE OF YOUR BRACH HERE IN MY SOUTH AFRICA THERE NO THING LIKE ZOOM HERE MY COUNTRY I WILL BE SO MUCH HAPPY. I CAN HELP YOU TO VANCY LAND I AM LIVE JOHANNESBURG AND MY TELEPHONE NUMBER IS +27835653xxx
REGARG MR JACKSON

The Elephant simply replies

Quote:

I AM ELEPHANT LEARNING TO TYPE ON COMPUTER AT ZOO. IT IS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU FROM SOUTH AFRICA. HOW ARE YOU MR JACKSON ?
I LEARN TO TYPE ON MY COMPUTER AT ZOO ....GOOD ?

PLEASE RESPOND

Jackon seems to want to find land for Elephant

Quote:

DEAR MR ANDY

I AM FINE AND YOU, IF YOU ARE STILL INTRESTED ABOUT WHAT I TOLD YOU MR ANDY THEN YOU LET ME KNOW SO I CAN START LOOKING FOR VACANCY LAND FOR YOU I WE BE KIND AND HONEST TO YOU
THANKS, REGARD JACKSON

Elephant reply

Quote:

I AM ELEPHANT LEARNING TO TYPE ON COMPUTER AT ZOO
JACKSON I NEED YOU TO BE MY FRIEND
DO YOU HAVE ZOO ?

RESPOND

Well ..there used to be a zoo

Quote:

DEAR MR ANDY ELEPHANT
THERE WAS A ZOO IN THIS JOHANNESBURG WHERE I AM LIVE I WAS THE SECUREITY MAN THERE SO WHEN THE OWNER DIE KNOW BODY TO TAKE CARE OF THE ZOO
SOME ANIMAIL DIE SOME SOLD
SO THE PLACE WAS EMPTY NOW AND THE SON OF THE MAN WANT TO SELL THE PLACE THAT WHY I WAS ASKING YOU .
THANKS HAVE A NICE DAY
REGARD JACKSON

Time to get the Bristol Zoo owner involved

Quote:

I AM ELEPHANT LEARNING TO TYPE ON COMPUTER AT ZOO
JACKSON YOU ARE MY FRIEND NOW
I GET MY ZOO OWNER TO WRITE YOU ... YES ?

YOU HAVE ELEPHANT IN YOUR GARDEN .. .. YES ?

RESPOND

ANDY ELEPHANT

ongoing .....

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:35 pm

I love it! Laughing

Ask if he can get you in at the Addo Elephant Park. There are hundreds of elephants located in the park. You may very well have some family members there.

http://www.places.co.za/html/344.html

ps
Johannesburg zoo is still in existance.

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:18 pm

I really shouldn't read these a work. It's really hard to laugh quietly.

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:28 pm

Pure genius, like I already told you in Skype today.

Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:05 pm

Love it! Keep us posted.

Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 3:04 am

Hee heh heh. Will the elephant request a trunkbox full of peanuts, I wonder?

419Eater is my life Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 476

When do we get to the obligatory "Elephant jokes"?

Very entertaining, Spot!

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

I love this, Spot!! Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:42 pm

Makes me happy I work at home. No problems when I see a note like this. Only keyboards in danger are my own. Laughing

Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:19 am

Be aware, stamp duty has a whole different meaning with an elephant.

Great idea Spot!

Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 4:37 pm

The lad hasn't got the hang of this game yet, and sends a mail full of copy/paste.

Quote:

Dear andy

I we not lie to you mr Andy, i was very happy you are going to establisheh such thing in my country,
The Johannesburg Zoo is a zoo in Johannesburg, South Africa. Established in 1904, it has traditionally been owned and operated by the City of Johannesburg. However, it has recently been turned into a corporation and registered as a Section 21 non-profit organisation.

The zoo is dedicated to the accommodation, enrichment, husbandry, and medical care of wild animals. The Johannesburg Zoo houses animals of approximately 3000 different species.

Rare White Lions at Johannesburg Zoo in a rear holding area while their enclosure is cleaned

Tours and excursions around the zoo are offered under the auspices of the education department.

It is one of the few places in the world with white lions. The white lions are not albinos. The zoo has had considerable success in the breeding of white lions, which are more sought after than tawny lions by other zoos. To disguise their light colour, the white lions, first discovered in the Timbavati Private Game Reserve, roll in the dirt and thereby blend in - this reduces their visibility to predators and prey.

The Johannesburg Zoo is the only zoo in South Africa to have successfully bred Siberian Tigers. Siberian Tigers are the largest cats in the world. "Twist" is the male Siberian Tiger at the zoo and weighs 320 kg. He is the father of all the Siberian Tigers to be found in South Africa.
i we send you other email after i see your reply how to the send the money.

thanks
have a nice day
regards jackson

The Head of Elephant Intelligence needs to step in

Quote:

Dear Sir,

It has been brought to my attention that you are in contact with one of my Elephants.

Although I have no access to his e-mails I receive a printout of those people who have been in contact with him for security purposes. I notice that your name is not on the approved list of reasearchers.

I have to point out to you that this research has been designated TOP SECRET, and on no account should you reveal his existence.

Should you wish to continue with this Elephant Intelligence experiment, which involves simple communication by e-mail with the animal, then please let me know. Expenses and a grant of �2,000 will be paid following a successful conclusion of the exercise.

For your information, Andy was originally from Addo Elephant Park in South Africa and still has some family there.

After receiving your willingness to proceed in this Elephant Intelligence project I will provide you with further details.

Kind Regards

Mike Exxxx
(Head of Elephant Intelligence - Bristol Zoo Research Department)

Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:37 pm

This is a hoot, spot.

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 10:25 am

This is hilarious! Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:36 am

hahaha this is hilarious, spot Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 3:41 pm

Damn you! I was mucking out the horses this morning and thinking of new modalities and I was musing on having Algernon (as in "Flowers For...") the horse, locked in a top-secret lab who has been genetically altered to increase his intelligence and who has mananged to hack the university computer to get an email account.

He needs the risky-free millions to hire a mercenary army to rescue him!

Now I go and find I've been beaten to it by an elephant!!! Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 02 Mar 2008 Posts: 2

sunshine wrote:

Damn you! I was mucking out the horses this morning and thinking of new modalities...Now I go and find I've been beaten to it by an elephant!!! Laughing

Why don't you email the same lad, as Ed the Horse trying to track down an escaped Intelephant (Intelligent Elephant) before he does something crazy, like phones The Sun newspaper with a story.
And of course, there's a big reward for information.....

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:26 pm

eggready wrote:

Why don't you email the same lad, as Ed the Horse trying to track down an escaped Intelephant (Intelligent Elephant) before he does something crazy, like phones The Sun newspaper with a story.
And of course, there's a big reward for information.....

Quite happy to ... as long as it will not spoil Spot's bait?

Wilburrrrr!

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 10:32 pm

It may look a little suspicious, so I'd not mess with Spot's bait. I'd suggest trying a different lad for now Wink

Unless of course, Spot feels differently Very Happy

419Eater is my life Joined: 12 Jun 2005 Posts: 442

laughter is healthy, there we cannot risk spoiling my entertainment ..er, spots bait hahaha this is great!

Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 7:30 am

I will steer clear of Spot's bait - it's just far too funny (Spot - you owe me a monitor as mine is all covered in tea!)

My horse Algernon has already replied to a couple of the more dopey sounding lads in my slush pile.

Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:16 am

This may be going rapidly downhill, the Lad hasn't caught on to the fact that Andy is an Elephant yet ! .... but he's already calculated his expenses !

Lad replies to the Zoo owner

Quote:

DAER MIKE EXxx.

ARE YOU WORKING WITH ANDY OR YOU OWN THE ZOO TOGETHER.
BECAUSE HE WAS THE FIRST MAN I WAS TALKING WITH BEFORE I RECEIVE YOUR MESSAGE
I HAVE CALCULAT ALL THE EXPENSES WISH IS �15.000 I LIKE YOU TO SEND THE MONEY BE THIS MONUTH END OR FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL +27-8356xxxxx

HAVE A NICE DAY

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:01 pm

Too bad you can't hook Andy the Elephant with the elephant from the Mastercard commercial. It may be intriguing that his brother elephant has a credit/debit card - cash available. Just a thought. Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:59 am

But how is Andy going to get to the Western Union office?

Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:34 am

^^ TO the office is probably not all that difficult. IN the office? Well, that will probably be another story. Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 5:38 am

When the lad asks Andy to call him, Andy only has a trunk line.