My mugu offers health care!

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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 4:53 pm

I'm doing a payment-representative bait, and like any excited new employee I sent in the following questions to my new "boss":

Quote:

I am eagerly awaiting my first assignment. I have some questions - can you please answer them, or forward my email to the person in your company who answers such questions?

1. Do you offer health benefits?
2. When will I receive my first assignment?

His response:

Quote:

Good Day,
Thanks for your response and for your question,You will receive your first assignment probably this week or next.Moreover concerning the health problem it is one of our duties to take care of our staff representative but we must get noticed about the nature of the health before taken any responsibility.

Thanks.
Management.

How KIND of him to offer to take care of my health! He has no idea what he's in for. Man, I got all kinds of health problems. Not even taking into account the fact that I'm deaf (so I don't have to deal with those pesky phone calls), I've also got a seriously bad case of crotch rot. Oh, and fungus of the feet! They wouldn't want their new payment rep walking into WU with feet that smell like an entire platoon of unwashed stinky socks, would they? Oh, and then I've got these boils on my face that need lancing... Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 5:01 pm

Send him a $2,000 bill for dental work and tell him that to avoid further stress you would like him to send the money via WU.... Very Happy

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 5:14 pm

Uh-oh, it sounds like he's getting ready to turn you down based on pre-existing conditions Sad

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 5:48 pm

Simba, great idea! I'll send him this pic, just so he understands why the price was so high:

Naturally I'll wait till I get my first check, so I can explain why I'm keeping the whole thing...to cover both my commission, AND my dental work, which he so kindly agreed to cover! What a prince. It's SO great having a good boss. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:08 pm

Hilarious modality Cachuma! Eew, that looks like putrefacted menstruations, which is what one of my characters currently suffers. It is contagious? Because of bad health I'm getting reams of email prayers from 2 mugus. Their concern for my ability to drag myself to a WU office overwhelms me:

Quote:

ok mummy, i dont want you to be worry our GOD is good i will be praying for you because, i know that our GOD is great he will never leave you alone.mummy, i promise you that, i will be prayinhg for you till you get your self better because you are GOD sent to me so i dont want any bad thing to happen to you because you are now mummy till the end of my life because i know that you are capable to take care of me and i am also capable to take care of youas a son his mummy.mummy, i will like you to always reply me through your Vaio laptop because i can sick if i did not hear from you as a mummy to son.PLease once you arrive to Western union money transfer just take their form and fill this information and count the money and give it to them and they will orprate and give you the conformation of the payments.

Best health plan: pray to God, use a laptop, and get thee to a Western Union.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Good stuff. Ask him if Dr. Demento is an in-network provider....

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:33 pm

@ Cachuma: Welcome to the wonderful world of check baiting! You too, in just a few hours a week, can realize an income that will run not five....no, not six....but seven figures!

Don't forget the following modalities:

1. The first check they send you has your name misspelled and the bank wouldn't take it. Make them send you another.

2. When the second one arrives, you can't get to it right away since you're on a business trip. You didn't want your secretary to know what you are up to, so your mail is on hold pending your return.

3. When you get back, wait until Friday before you go to the bank. Tell the check lad that; that makes their day. Then when you went to the bank, the street was closed off for a HazMat spill, or there was a large pack of snarling wild dogs circling the building....and animal control closed off the street to round them up. You have to wait until Monday before you can try this again.

4. After five days, your bank manager just flat out won't release the funds. Ask the check lad for advice on how to deal with that situation.

5. Go off the net for three days due to being held in jail for punching the bank manager in the mouth. After you get out, the bank manager still won't release the funds.

6. It goes to court. The court fines you, and also orders the bank manager to release the funds.

7. The Clerk of the Court hasn't released the court order yet. That takes a few days.

8. The bank manager has one week in which to comply with the court order. He's going to use that up too.

If your lad is still with you at this point (I had a check bait going for 141 days once), then you have a real prize. Enoy him!

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:51 pm

@Barry - thanks for the tips! Naturally there will be another delay as well - when my character goes in for her dental work. Wink

I haven't done too many check baits, and the main reason I want to do one now is so I can do a dolla-chop. I've seen a few others like that in here that just cracked me up. I haven't yet received any good death threats (I know, shocking isn't it?) and I think it's time I get one. So I'm going to introduce another lad into the mix, and Hessie (my bait character) is going to wire the money to my fake lad, who will then lord it over the real lad, and hopefully I'll get some good death threats in my fake lad inbox.

But in the meantime I think I can have some fun with the dental work modality... Mr. Green

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:52 pm

Quote:

Moreover concerning the health problem it is one of our duties to take care of our staff representative but we must get noticed about the nature of the health before taken any responsibility.

I think this is part of Hilary's Universal Health Care system. Check and see if the IP reads NY. Laughing

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:10 pm

@ Cachuma: I used a dollar-chop in one of my earlier check baits. I got some angry voice mails as a result:

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=105208

I haven't been able to top this one since.

Enjoy!

(please don't anyone "necro" the thread)

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