Do Lads like laptops ? - "God will areest you" !!

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Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:43 pm

@Gomer - I have a long term laddie, Mr Chukwu, that is eager for another safari, you are welcome to his addy if you would like it?

He has been trying to get a laptop from me since last summer... Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:57 pm

I think George has exploded and now he wants me to adopt him.

I'll do that if he goes back to the airport. He went this morning !!!!!!

I think I'm going to be busy for a while Laughing

Of course - if he's on yahoo and I'm on gmail - we can't chat can we ? The last thing I want is a pervy chat with a scammer. I'll ring him. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:28 pm

Let me calm down. I was under phone and e-mail attack from my newly adopted son.

I got some mails - tear jerkers, and I just can't be cruel to him. Do you think I'm a heartless bastard ? Laughing

I've given him a fake air waybill number and told him to get his ass back to the airport, and get through to the air crew. They'll speak Swahili for sure. Very Happy

Another call

airportlaptopa.mp3 - 1.93MB

and in this one he's making the return journey with the sound of jets landing close by. This was his last call - not that I mean his last call ever.

airportlaptopb.mp3 - 3.42MB

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:37 pm

In spite of our deep spiritual love. His incessant demands made me snap (there's a limit to how many fake numbers I can put into action Very Happy

) so I sent this when he asked for the forwarders phone number

Quote:

What the freakin hell is going on there ?

It would be easier for me to go there myself !!!

How many people does it take to pick up a Gorram set of pc's ?

Garth M0r0ny

Just in from George

Quote:

ok,
i will go there now

George just needs firm handling. Wink

I'd have made a great Dad - not. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:44 pm

At least I got him to the airport once - and now he's on his way back. I think they say three's a charm.

Quote:

Dear Garth M0r0ny,

Thank you so much but i want to let you know that is not easy for me when i went to the Air Port this monring because i ask them if they know this name Mr Unat0mba Mbuz| but all they told me is that they have not heard that name before .

My Dear the people at the kenya air ways ask me to provide this number air ways billing number and your address of the sender and the tracking number and phone number before they will allow me take any goods and to be sincer with you i tried my best today and i suffer my self working and transporting my self but i don,t care but all i want you to know is that as soon as you get the number and all this information i want you to call me as soon as possible so that i will go there before night fall.

i have aready made up my mind to help you out and i want you to tell me about you and where you are from and i want to know what you do for a living and are you white or black are you married how old are you?

Meanwhile i will be online tonighti will like to talk to you online here is my chating ID [email protected] please add me i want to speak with you online okay.

please i want to know you more better.

thank you so much

Regards
George

George is such a pain. A call from earlier - one of many Very Happy

laptopairport1.mp3 - 1.35MB

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:02 pm

Now a call from the taxi on the way to the airport, It sounded as if he was driving down the runway from the sound of the jets taking off/landing.

He wants to chat tonight. I wonder if we'll still be friends.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:21 pm

Damn he's persistent. I wonder if he'd follow the shipment if it got diverted to Benin City for security reasons (over 200 km).

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 5:56 pm

GomerPyle wrote:

Do you think I'm a heartless bastard ? Laughing

Absolutely. It's one of your more endearing qualities.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 6:09 pm

Yup - I'm all heart - and still he has complete faith in me. Very Happy

He sounded close to tears.

Now the little sh** says the Kenya Airways want a number to ring for the transport company. They're a lot more patient than I thought they'd be and why don't they understand Swahili ?

What should I do with him now - I wonder ? Evil or Very Mad

I have one of those drama numbers I can use to fend him off but when I called back he was in the taxi again. Evil or Very Mad

This is fun. He's like a real life chess piece I can move around at will.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 6:17 pm

Hi Gomer - Just caught up on the thread and i must say that this is as genius as ever from you!!

I can't wait to see where this goes, and if you need my help, give me a shout!!!

NTBS

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 6:28 pm

Glad to hear the mugu is more desperate than ever. Twisted Evil

Again, I applaud this new modality of yours.

Yeah, WTF is up w/ Kenya Airways?! Evil or Very Mad

I there another E. African airline at the airport? Maybe you could tell you have been investigating b/c of the trouble he is having collecting the laptops, which you have never seen before. You discovered that whoever handles these shipments in your company gave you the wrong airline info & hence he has been going to the wrong airline by mistake, oops. Embarassed

Then give him another airline to harrass & assure him this idiot will be dealt with.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 7:00 pm

Somewhere deep down I feel a tinge of pity but I didn't get his addie off a list of Red Cross donors, and a taste of his own medecine may just make him understand what it's like - though I'm not taking money from his pocket or food from his mouth - only his scamming funds he's paying out for taxis etc.

I'm completely knackered now and have put the answerphone on - and he's still calling. Shocked

I'll collect up his answerphone messages and post them.

@thefife - yes my brain needs help and all ideas welcomed. This one's not over yet.

@notobescammed - this could be a very interesting one for you to make a follow up call to. You could start with humour as a customer service agent for the transport company and then ask how he felt and try to make him see that that's only a small taste of what a scammer's victim feels like.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:02 pm

GomerPyle wrote:

Somewhere deep down I feel a tinge of pity

Well make it stop!! Evil or Very Mad

You show him NO mercy. First of all he doesn't deserve it & second of all, I'm quite enjoying his desperation to get the laptops. What's this, 3 trips to the airport in the last 24 hours? Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:25 pm

Perhaps his problem is he hasn't printed a Kenya Airways boarding pass so he can contact the flight crew in person. He really should meet them as close to the plane as possible, since as we all know Murtala Muhammed Airport is so infested with criminals and thieves. Could you help him obtain a boarding pass?

What's the obsession with your marital status and race? Also does he know that Moroni is the angel who dictated the Book of Mormon to Joseph Smith in the guise of a white salamander?

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 10:56 pm

It's a pity those laptops will get destroyed in a warehouse fire at the airport.

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 12:43 am

Another Swahili name for you to use:

tafadhali ninakupenda nyani - which roughly translates as 'please I love you baboon'

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:33 am

Quote:

Mr Unatomba Mbuzi at the desk of an airline in the Main Terminal - and that name means Mr Goat Fu@�er in Swahili

Gomer, I've found his pic -- wanna pass it on to the Lad?

NSFW --- it's not REALLY that bad, but NSFW, definitely

Mr Goat Fu@�er

NSFW

Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:23 am

Poor George has been ringing through the night and this morning, but I need a rest from him.

Then I'll pick him up with some strange tale and run with him again in a day or two.

After listening to my answerphone going off all night and morning any twinge of sympathy I had for him is all used up.

... but one thing it confirms to me is that it's okay to devote time and effort to a bait when it's giving you fun and pleasure but when it becomes a bind and effort - drop it. He'll be there when I'm ready for him.

The baiter dictates the way the game unfolds. After a period of silence, he'll be less demanding and easier to handle.

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 12:37 am

I love the idea of using NTBS as a customer service rep - perhaps as we don't have an IBC show this week it could be saved up for an insert into the next show on 24th?

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:42 am

I'll try to keep him hooked until then. I have been letting him leave messages on the answerphone and he's still ringing.

I have just picked up some free voice manipulation software and will test it out on him tomorrow, ringing him as the wife of my baiter personailty, telling him I died suddenly and asking him to detail what deals I was involved in.

I'll test out what bursting into tears sounds like. I like the voice that makes me sound like a little girl. Ringing and asking "Did you know my Daddy and asking him questions about "Where is my Daddy now ?" should really screw his brain up. Evil or Very Mad

Maybe 'my wife' can get me buried out in Nigeria and have my remains shipped out by T3mpest Transport. They have a worldwide reputation. I'm sure George will be only too glad to help out if he knows he'll be appointed as the Nigerian rep for shady laptop deals.

I'll try making him ask about delivery of a coffin at the BA desk.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 4:37 pm

@Gomer - Are you going to stuff the coffin with laptops? What a stupid question...of course, you are!! Laughing

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:50 pm

I feel quite stupid for having had any feeling of sympathy for George. Sure he's young and dumb but he must have made at least 30 calls to me and was driving me mad with all his demands. He would be the worst nightmare to anyone with just a hint of belief in his scam. To an elderly person or someone without a full deck of cards (and there are too many like that about) he would a giant human leech.

His ambition is praiseworthy and he knows how to work hard, but he's nothing more than a parasite, and a very unpleasant one. I'll pour salt on him tomorrow. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:15 pm

^^ Oh just praise his impressive work ethic already Gomer. Don't be mad b/c you could learn a thing or 2 about stick-to-itiveness from the young dummy.

Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:10 am

Linda M0r0ny has just rung George to advise him of the sudden and terrible demise of her husband. I didn't know how well the voice morphing software would work, but it seemed perfect (and for a freebie that's great).

I didn't want to overload George's mind too much at once, and he did appear to have trouble with the simple concept. I imagine people die in Nigeria too. I'll make up some nicely weird explanation for how G@rth died after he is more comfortable working with Linda.

So he knows that there's a funeral in the offing and that I have surplus laptops to dispose of - a nice pile donated by tss1961 (the photos anyway Very Happy

)

lindamorony.mp3 - 1.51MB

He even asked if I was crying and at the end I did some sobbing - worthy of a Grammy at least (for which I'd like to thank..... Laughing

).

That is NOT the way I normally sound - but I have the clothes - now I have the voice too. Laughing

- just joking.

Time to send him a mail and give his brain time to digest the news - a week maybe ?

Edited a million times 'cause my fingers aren't working.

Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:50 pm

Where did you get the voice morphing software?

Laughing

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