Do Lads like laptops ? - "God will areest you" !!

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:47 pm

The idea is to convince a Lad to go to Lagos International Airport to pick up a consignment of laptops.

He is instructed to find a Mr Mr Unatomba Mbuzi at the desk of an airline in the Main Terminal - and that name means Mr Goat Fu@�er in Swahili (and I've chosen an airline who are likely to know the meaning) - thereby assuring him of a lot of unwelcome attention from men with automatic weapons.

I've done a small ASEM, as a group of Lads would be more fun, all using the same receipt to collect the goods.

My first error was not to make it necessary for them to confirm to me that they would be going, but I'ill just have to wait and see if I get any reports back to me - and adjust future ASEM's.

One reply

Quote:

Hello Sir,

Thank you so much for you reply but i want to have your number to call you so that if there is any problem, they can call you and ask you if you did any shipment to lagos.

So that there will be not mistake or any problem by clearing the laptops computer.

Thank you.

My Regards to your family

I demanded to know where my intended recipient is and asked him to return the delivery note. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:10 pm

That sounds like big fun Gomer! You could send a follow up email asking if they received the laptops ok since you hadn't heard back from them.

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:20 pm

To answer the topic: Yes, they love them! Although they are often promised loads of laptops, for some reason they haven't received any... Cool

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:07 pm

What's this Gomer, moving from mass baiting of Lotto lads into mass safaris?

JoJo had better watch out.

Best of luck and may your sig line run out of space for hats!

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:37 pm

I don't think I'll get or claim them as safaris. That might be expecting too much, knowing how lazy Lads are. The chances of getting even a Lagos Lad to move off his cafe chair to go to the airport off an ASEM is fairly remote (but worth trying), bearing in mind that there will be armed airport police there with a licence to kill.

I'll probably make a weekly shipment through my courier site and amend future ASEM's to confirm the shipment, provide details and ask why the Lagos agent hadn't contacted me yet to identify himself and tell me he would be collecting the goods.

The more Lads I can terrorise the better. They are such a deserving cause. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 5:48 pm

Great modality Gomer. The mugus love laptops. You can just rewrite the ASEM letter and send another batch.
It is always good to put a secret code due to theft. Laughing

good luck

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:01 pm

Quote:

bearing in mind that there will be armed airport police there with a licence to kill.

Uh oh... I smell an ethics debate brewing Wink

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:09 pm

Naaah - I'm sure a Lad with great interpersonal skills will make it through alright bearkat419. After all - I want them to come back and tell me what a great time they had. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:42 pm

Wouldn't it be a shame if the lad/lads had to pay his/their bribes to the customs officials *before* they get the point where they present the receipt to collect the goods.

The probability that some bribes will have to be paid is pretty high, especially for a shipment of laptops, the question is just *when* they're paid.

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:43 pm

No ethics debates any more!

I love that name, Gomer!

The lads all want laptops. They like late model ones, which are easy to promise: "Her ya go, look at this laptop, this one is yours www.superdooperlaptops.com/bestmodel" Sir Winston bought Joseph Twumasi, Gay Mugu, ([email protected]) a laptop! Shame about the accident, though.....

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:42 pm

I gather owning your own laptop is a big dickswinging status symbol, so it's nice you're appealing to their vanity as well as greed Smile

I hope none of those dastardly couriers lose your shipment Smile

Actually I'd love to think of a dozen lads all standing at the desk showing off about laptops before all realising they're being taken for mugus...think of the loss of face Smile

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 1:23 am

The lads DO love laptops!

I know this because a good friend of mine did several baits using his world-famous "laptops" Laughing

link removed - lotta Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:31 am

Wasn't those laptops supposed to have come with data projectors? Oh, I reckon you'll have to send them in a separate shipment.

Email them all back saying that the data projectors were left off and will come separately, but when they collect the laptops could they check them to see if they have the right connector on the back for the data projectors, yada,yada,yada....

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:54 am

Somewhat prophetically my mass mail provoked one of those 10 foot long religious mails headed

Quote:

Beloved,the wages of sin is death,God's gift is eternal life in CHRIST !"666,Reject it"(Bible-Rev-13-8-18 )

.. so I guess I have ethical reassurance from a Lad himself.

and this came in

Quote:

Hello Sir,

I am Mr. G0mer Best Friend and now Mr. G0mer is a very serious that IS why he cannot handle this and he gave me your information that is while i have to write you and to know what i have to do and how i am going to do this please call me so that we can discuses this on the phone please +234-XXXXX-XXXXX.or give me your number i will call you please be fast about this.

Thank you

Regards

I have a best friend Very Happy

Isn't that spiffing ? After what I did to the family gerbil I was always told I shouldn't have any friends, but this is a Lad, so I guess it's okay.

He got the new improved mail and we'll chat tomorrow. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:29 am

I just spoke to my new bestest friend, George, and I must admit that I do pick 'em.

I don't know if he was in bed and still getting his brain warmed up, but he didn't sound like the sharpest tool in the box - just the way I like them. Very Happy

I'll post the exchange between us shortly. I hope I didn't stress too much that he should ask for Mr Goat Felcher. My US accent wasn't very convincing, but good enough for a Lad. He wants my phone number, and I want him to have it so that he can let me know what happened. I hope they allow prisoners one call like in the West. Laughing

It may turn out to be a disappointment - but you don't know until you try - fingers crossed.

The call itself isn't particularly interesting, but as it's the establishing call for this new regular modality, I'm quite proud of it. He does sound kind of young and dumb, but he's also a scammer. He'll discover it's not quite so risky free - and he claims to be the friend of that notorious Lad gangster Mr G0mer. Evil or Very Mad

laptops.mp3 - 3.41MB

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:31 am

much more fun if you change the name to the swahili for 'I have a bomb' and send him to an airline serving a swahili speaking country!

or is that too damn mean

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:47 am

The trouble is that I'd then cross the ITP line in causing closure of the airport and inconveniencing hundreds of innocent people.

It would be like making a hoax call. Unfortunately you have to measure what you do against the likely affect it will have. Causing a security alert at an airport would, I consider, be crossing the line.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:59 am

yeah good point, I like the swahili name idea though, i'm guessing lagos doesn't have many gay bars, else the swahili for "take my cherry" and sending a lad there could have mileage!

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:18 pm

http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/index.htm

is where I got the words from

(Watch out for the pop up - I have a blocker in my browser) or I can post up a few gems

If you select Swahili, there are so many good insults there, it's hard to choose.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 8

I know I'm new here but I think what you're doing is hugely unethical. Sad

In the unlikely event that the good boys in blue get a little trigger happy I fear there could be an obscene amount of perfectly good ammo wasted and some poor soul would have to clean whats left of the lead-filled lad up.

Meh, I guess its a risk you're just gonna have to take. Wink

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 1:28 pm

One thing I need to take into account in future is that scammers scam because it is virtually risk free to be able to sit in front of a pc and then collect money from WU. Only baiters interrupt the tranquility of their illegal work, so they'll never easily take ANY risk.

Asking them to go to an airport, with armed police about, to do something that could be illegal is not such a tempting proposition, so I need to make the transaction appear completely risk free in future.

The chances of him getting shot ? - pretty remote. About as likely as him getting electrocuted by his pc, but if I can increase his heart rate a little, the experience may even be good for his health. Evil or Very Mad

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 8

You may be right Gomer, but I don't see any problem in persuading him to stick his tongue into a wall socket or something, I mean if he's so dumb he's in danger of choking on his own spit he's probably not gonna last too long anyways. Laughing

I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this though.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:20 pm

Great work Gomer & congrats on your first customer!! Very Happy

Use this dingbat to refine the modality to perfection. I have trying a similar modality using diamonds w/ mixed results. Getting them off their ass & to the collection is a bitch. Evil or Very Mad

P.S. I hope he takes about 5 shots to the ass when he shows up to get his laptops. Laughing

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:24 pm

I'm still trying to determine what part of the US you're from. Your accent is a tiny bit hard to place. Laughing

This is a great modality, I'll be watching this thread with interest.

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:32 pm

I knew it - youthful enthusiasm will carry him through.

He said he'd been to the airport twice and they didn't know anyone by the name of Mr Unatomba Mbuzi - not surprisiningly Very Happy

- so where's someone who speaks Swahili when you need them ? He was moaning about how tired he was and the money it had cost him, but he went there early, so what does he expect ? - it to be dropped by parachute.

He says he's on the way back and he needs an airwaybill number. That's handy I can talk airway bill numbers until his hind legs drop off. Laughing

You see T3mp3st Transport are freight forwarders and a freight forwarder's air waybill is different to an airline one. I'll just make one up.

So he's actually had a serious conversation with the airline staff about this. I'll see if he can find a Swahili speaker. Laughing

It's so nice dealing with a Lad whose brain is putty. I think his phone credit is dying too. Laughing

He can only manage to flash my phone.

I can see he's under pressure - so I'll go make a coffee, get changed and relaxed and call him back. At this rate I could get him back to the airport next week. I guess I'd need to manage ten trips to make a safari (only joking). I hope other Lads have done the trip too. That would be seriously funny.

Do Lads like laptops ? - "God will areest you" !!	View next topic View previous topic