Nice example of email ettiquette, as taught to my lad

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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:01 pm

By George, I think he's finally getting it. Hopefully he's signing his mails to other intended victims like this. I've been helping him out with western email ettiquette for some time.

Quote:

His majesty,
I received your mail with delight and i plead that you forgive for any wrong doing His Majesty.

I will immediately go into action and do the baptism since you have sent me the wordings and send same to you without delay

This is to see that a modern deserving chapel is built here in Ouagadougou which i hope you personally will come for its inauguration (he's going to really regret saying that)

I once more assure you His Majesty that we are going to win a lot of souls for the brotherhood here in Ouagadougou and the whole of west Africa.

Be always shagged, twatted and may your knackers be tightly gripped

Thanks
TOSSER

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Perfect. Just perfect. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:06 pm

That kills me.

Dutchbait has a nice one too, it goes something like "Forever, up yours." He CCd me a few of his emails the other day.

I've never got the bolleaux to go that risque!

Laughing

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:07 pm

See what I mean by helping the lad w/ his English. Great job!! Laughing

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:37 pm

I can already see this lad taking a stroll across Africa. Smile

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:08 pm

I just can't wait to see him panic when I take him up on his offer of my flying over there to oversee the chapel inauguration. In fact, I'll be bringing the money AND supervising the building, too. Blueprints and stuff will be required. Smile

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:15 pm

After having a bad day, you have brought a smile to my face. Thank you!!

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Funny stuff Juan Laughing

,when he calls you, his majesty, what part are you playing Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Great work Psych! Laughing

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:07 pm

ROFLMAO! That has got to be one of the best ones I have seen for a long time.

B

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:10 pm

I love it! Laughing

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:11 pm

Scam Patroller wrote:

Funny stuff Juan Laughing

,when he calls you, his majesty, what part are you playing Very Happy

Juan SP?

I'm an elder in the church, but not just a plain old elder. He's been passed up through every level in the brotherhood, and now he's on extremely HIGH ELDER Donald, who's promised him that at last, his funds will be released. He just needs to do his baptism again. This'll be about the twentieth time Smile

I'm going for 'most often soaked with milk' lad.

Another example:

Quote:

HIS MAJESTY,

I was highly delighted when i read your mail that i have been forgiven.

I hope and pray succintly that the finacial officer of the brtethren will fall into your hands so that you will see into my case

I am happy that you have explained to me on the founding of our brotherhood.
I pray sincerely for you.

Remain twatted in the holy knackers,
Thanks

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

PsycheDelia_Smith wrote:

Juan SP? I'm an elder in the church

Sorry mate, I had been viewing a post started by Juan Freizwidatt just before this one Embarassed

Gotya, thought you might have been playing a fake king or something, love those sign off lines Laughing

Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:57 pm

Eliza_Doolittle wrote:

After having a bad day, you have brought a smile to my face. Thank you!!

I find after having a bad day i'm cheered up by seeing a lad have a worse one.

Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:18 am

Brilliant work!

Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:24 am

So much sigworthy material in that one.

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 10:43 am

Just got his latest baptism pics, you can see his english grammar is now at a fairly advanced level. Smile

Quote:

"His majesty,"

I have retaken the baptism photographs as i was directed with the correct wordings

Remain briddled in hurgle,
Thanks.
.

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:03 am

This is truely a most magnificent trophy. Left me giggling like a little school girl. Certainly something to aim for.

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:32 am

Between @cvb's "balls through the pants" and this thread, you guys are killing me and my keyboard... Laughing

There is something so right about 2 lads dressed in smocks with the phrase SHAG ME HARD hanging over their heads.
Laughing

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 12:35 am

Quote:

Remain briddled in hurgle,
Thanks.
TOSSER OGUGUO NWOSU.

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 12:50 am

Yes, I don't know where I got that from. I worry me sometimes Smile

For anyone who's curious, here's my instruction mail to him for this trophy pic..

Quote:

Dear Tosser,

I am most impressed by your keen attitude, this runs quite contrary to a report made by my predecessor. It's a shame
your previous baptism pictures were a waste of your splendid efforts, but I am sure we shall succeed this time.

Pastor Joseph (Indominu Dictu Shag) readily took the blame upon himself for your not knwing the springtime baptism ritual.
Of course, I had to impose a punishment upon him, and he will be away from the commune for a few days, reflecting on his
error, and ensuring it does not happen again. When he has recovered from his punishment, he will return. I anticipate he will
be ready to fly to your country in just a few days.

Now, the wording on the banner for the springtime ritual of baptism can vary, but all phrases used are derived from ancient
dialects, handed down to us over the generations. The meaning will always be that of "rejoice, for it is springtime, and another
soul is cleansed."

The banner should read "ANOTHER OLD SCHOOL TROPHY OF A TOSSER GETTING MILKED. SHAG ME HARD." Translated from
ancient saxony language, this means "Allelujah, another soul is saved. Accept me, Thor." You should hold
in front of you another, small banner reading "MINGE" which means "reawakening". Take two or more pictures, so that we can select the
best one for the records.

Let us finally get your chapel built Oguguo. I hope you continue to be as energetic in the pursuit of the building of this house of Tossers.

Remain briddled in hurgle,

Elder *****

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 4:53 am

The usual "LOL" emoticon just doesn't do this justice. I mean, I really laughed hard, and long. This is absolute gold! Very Happy

Great work, PDS! I love it!

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 4:10 pm

A full-size study of the same subject matter here:

http://members.419eater.com/~psychedelia_smit/tosser2.jpg

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:30 pm

PsycheDelia_Smith wrote:

The banner should read "ANOTHER OLD SCHOOL TROPHY OF A TOSSER GETTING MILKED. SHAG ME HARD." Translated from
ancient saxony language, this means "Allelujah, another soul is saved. Accept me, Thor."

I envy your baiting skills! Laughing

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:55 am

Another beauty:

Quote:

His majesty,

Thank you most sincerely for your quick response to my mail whivh i included the baptsm photographs.

His Majesty,i am highly glad and delighted with the way you are handling our vhapel project and i mosty sincerely and humbly promise you I WILL NOT FAIL YOU.

I will negotiate and know the cost of opening a cyber cafe in our country here His Majesty and get you informed accordingly.

I am equally waiting to get the flight svhedule of pastor Joseph here to our commune while i look forward to your coming here to open our chapel.

Remain twatted, shagged and soaked in barf.
Thanks

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