The fifth annual Eater Valentine thread

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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 1:33 am

Well, Prof So and So.......I'll have to think about it. I mean - you sit around scratching your balls - dressing as a clown.....

You've pulled the hair out of hte back of my head and put a picture of another woman there so you can see her while having sex.

I just don't know if we are really meant for each other. I need to know where you see us in the future???

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Well. It appears that not ONLY did I get Snerd as a Valentine, but I have been permanently branded with his name. I am no longer custom-tagless. I have a feeling my dear sners is the one who really wanted me to have this tag, since HE is sporting a new tag as well. Laughing

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:24 am

^^^Oooh! Off to go see!

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:46 am

Eliza -

I can see how you might have some doubts as to my love, but baby you know where I see us going. It's the same today as it was the first day I saw you. I know that taping pictures to your head might not have SEEMED like the most romantic thing to do, but trust me, in the end it brought us closer. I know how much you care about security on all levels, be it financial, emotional, or personal safety. In order to prove my love to you, since you feel unsure simply hearing it from me, I'm sure you'll have good enough judgement to trust this:

http://media.putfile.com/FBI-Endorsement

And yes, this is the REAL FBI. He told me so in e-mail. Razz

Edit: Also, I'm not sure if you noticed, but I'm using my hand for something much more important than scratching my nuts these days.

Elite Baiter Joined: 17 Sep 2004 Posts: 1269

Ex wrote:

Ok time to go down the list:

Lotta, PRS, Weasel, Cachuma, Eliza, Special K, Hekate, Corona, Ima, and any other veritable bachelorettes, will you please be my Valentine?

*awaits acceptance responses*

Hmmph, I'm one of a crowd? Sad

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:53 am

Well uh, you see, before Corona began carrying my baby after that wonderful night in Milan, I loved you all equally.

Elite Baiter Joined: 17 Sep 2004 Posts: 1269

Looks like you prefer Corona then...

/me starts to look elsewhere

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 3:24 am

My Mentor Special

Special K, a Kellogg�s cereal.
Special K, a hallucinogenic drug used by teens; that can be found in animal hospitals
Special K, a phoenix radio star.
Special K, an alcoholic drink, known about Northern Ireland.
Special K, a feeling of love much like horse tranquilizers.

But most of all Special K, a disciplinary orientated mentor who has helped me over my time at eater, and who I wish to be my valentine.

A poem doesn't need to rhyme! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 5:16 am

Tsnerd wrote:

Quote:

The hell with Snerd

Don't worry, Snerd baby, you'll always be my first love. Well...second, if you count Hunter in the 11th grade...well actually third if you count Paulie Lucas...and then there was the entire Varsity football starting line-up in 12th grade...and then there was that guy I met at CBGB's in the 80's (never did get his name...) Well whatever -- you get the picture. I still love ya. Mr. Green

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

I've got a brand-new pair of jackboots and a jangling keychain, I'm just dying to test out my super powers... But you're safe now, as long as you don't fail to catch the shuttle in Parakou.

Let's just hope the damn shuttle van shows UP in Parakou! It doesn't have the greatest reputation for reliability, or so I've heard. I must say I hope it does show up -- the whole jackboot thing is getting me kinda hot!

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 5:23 am

Yeah, I daresay these boots are pretty sexy.... wanna see my whip? Wink

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 5:27 am

Juan, all I ask is...PLEASE leave the red tights home. It's just not a good look for you. Laughing

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 5:57 am

You don't like my French fry costume??? Shocked

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:05 am

Quote:

...I went to the dance with Paulie Lucas, who may not have been the hottest boy in the 11th grade, but he did have a '71 GTO judge with a 455 engine and a Turbo Hydra-Matic transmission...As for Paulie, he ultimately end up as a commodities trader on Wall Street making millions.

An Ode to Paulie Lucas

A Turbo Hydra-Matic Transmission
with a Commodity trader's commission
To that Paulie named Lucas
Here's the good Father's tukas
and many a nocturnal emission

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 8:18 am

Fatter Siam wrote:

An Ode to Paulie Lucas

A Turbo Hydra-Matic Transmission
with a Commodity trader's commission
To that Paulie named Lucas
Here's the good Father's tukas
and many a nocturnal emission

AWESOME! I love it! You are a poet extraordinaire! bow_down

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Thank you, Cachuma, for your kind words and attempts to alleviate my guilt.

Does this mean I can put my suspension on hold? I'm not sure that the others would unsuspend me.

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 10:33 am

It would seem that the Girly Girl is giving me the cold shoulder. Perhaps she has chosen someone else. Either that or she hasn't signed back in yet, but no matter. Time to turn it on a bit! An ode to PRS:

That moment when I asked you
Seems frozen here in space
It seems a hundred years has passed
Since I've last seen your face

The miles may separate us with
Great plains, and mountains tall
But just say yes, sweet PRS
And into your arms I'll fall

I've never even heard your voice
And only seen your eyes
But just to be yours for a day
Is where my yearning lies

So take my hand, take my offer
Claim this heart of mine
Just give in to the dark side
And be my Valentine!

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 10:50 am

(Avatar to Avatar)

Betelgeuse, in another time and place, we are famed as those who spurned the conventions; as Elf and Human we sought out adventure, romance and high passion. Let us recreate those legends and rewrite those romancers' tales! Be my Valentine!

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:48 am

Chibuike,

I guess it's time to let you and the world know about the secret crush I have on you. Do you remember the other night when you heard something at your bedroom window? Yes, that was me. I have been following you around lurking in the shadows. I dream about you every night. My co-workers think I have lost my mind. My entire office is plastered with prints of your avatar. When the guys ask me to go out for a beer, I say "no, I need to stay logged on to Eater to see if my sweetheart is going to post". I hope this does not come as a shock to you, and you don't think I am too creepy for you, (even though I am). The other women of Eater pale in your comparison.

Please consider having me as your valentine, so I won't look so much like a stalker. I will stay on here until I see my answer. Even if it takes weeks. I simply cannot live without you.

If you decide to say no, can I get your mothers phone number?

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 3:08 pm

^^^So you were the one at my window! Shocked

Here I thought it was the neighborhood peeping Tom. Well there goes that fantasy. Laughing

Okay, Harry Bawls if you can fit this description you are mine.....all mine!

A man secure in who he is, where he is at in life and wants to share it with someone special. His humor makes all around him laugh as well as tickles himself when he does something stupid when no one is watching. He cares for others around him and is embarassed if someone points out his good deeds. Inside he misses me before he has ever met me. And if you don't fit this description I will gladly give you my sister's phone number.......but don't eat anything she cooks......just a tiny warning.

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 3:17 pm

Chibuike wrote:

A man secure in who he is, where he is at in life and wants to share it with someone special. His humor makes all around him laugh as well as tickles himself when he does something stupid when no one is watching. He cares for others around him and is embarassed if someone points out his good deeds. Inside he misses me before he has ever met me.

I am slightly embarrassed that you know me so well Embarassed

. How did you find out about all my qualities? We are closer than even I had hoped for!

I am positive I fit the bill. Please don't rub it in to Lotta, PRS Girly Girl, Ima, and the rest that were hoping to get a catch as fine as me.

I am so excited that you are choosing me (fingers crossed)! Please don't keep me waiting any longer.........

So THIS is what true love feels like Cool

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 5:53 pm

nobody wants to be my valentine... (sob) i just going to go to my hallwaybroom closet office and cry... with my pony of course.
TS should just change my thingy under my name to "no valentine loser" (sniff sniff)

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:13 pm

My heart is broken. One minute I have a Valentine with a nice line in poetry, and the next I have a ratbag who has offered himself to 4 others then completely cried off. And all in under 36 hours. Crying or Very sad

Elite Baiter Joined: 17 Sep 2004 Posts: 1269

You need to ask people, packman...the gals are in short supply on the 'eater, so we're the coveted ones.

Awww, Reaper! You're great with poetry! Razz

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Lovely Eight- I would ask you but 1) I'm already taken and 2) last year R8 threatened to cause physical harm to anyone who approached you....I think. At least that was the general impression, anyway.

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:22 pm

Geez Eight, I'd offer myself but I'm in a bit of a bind here. I've already given my heart to PRS, and Lotta pretty much owns the rest of me. I'm swamped!

Besides, quitcherbetchin! At least you've had some action on this thread... my intended valentine has either gone into hiding or is out getting another restraining order on me. Very Happy

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