Don V a n u c h i, contract killer

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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:25 pm

Sorry guys, it was me. I thought I had masked all of the , but there was one that I missed. Fixed now.

Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:09 pm

JMR: yes, it looks like a second mail, but that's his actual format as it arrived here. Either he's more inventive than we'd give him credit for, or he doesn't know his prewritten formart sending order. Seems like he got all mucking fuddled with worf too.

Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:19 pm

I'm the best-loved minor celebrity in the Lower Midwest, why would anyone want to kill me? His reply

Quote:

Do you some one is jealous about you that you are the best-loved one.People that are close to Jesus want him dead talkless of you.

I asked him who hired him to kill Jesus and told him to go to church. He's getting ticked.

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:16 am

Quote:

Dear Sid
Why the silent.
Regards
V a n u c h i

Quote:

V a n u c h i, it's me. I'm just waiting for night here so I can bust into the old lady's house, kill her, and steal all her money andjewellery for you.
I'll send the money as soon as it's done.
Take care,
Arse,
Sid.

Quote:

Dear Sid
Ok,I am waiting for yoi to send the money so that you will be alive and live happy .Then i will send my boys o kill the person that want you Dead.
Await the Payment Information soon
Regards
v a n u c h i

Quote:

V a n u c h i, I did it, and at 3am I buried the postman and the old lady in my back yard. The postman was easy, but the old lady wouldn't stop struggling. I finished now though, I'll take a shower and get to the Moneygram outlet. I just hope they let me in there, after the incident
with the glass door you made me kick in. Now you made me kill two people too, I hope this is worth my trouble.

Apricots,
Sid

You might think two people losing their lives just for him to get his two grand will bother him a bit, right? Going too far, he's just a poor guy trying to get by somehow, and he'll never allow people to get hurt really.

Wrong.

Quote:

Hello Sid
Dont worry you will be safe you did these because of your life now if they dont allow you to send it money gram go to western union all i need is for you to get the money sent today.
Regards
Vanuchi

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 1:18 pm

Two grand? He's asking me for $10,000! Laughing

It's nice that he includes his friends in this though. I guess he wants to share the wealth.

Quote:

Dear Micheal

No,Are you paying the fees to keep you alive cause i have 4 of my boys around where you stay,So you kindly go to western union or money gram and send down the 10,000$ to the below information .

Name ..............
Address...........London England
Amount............3000$

Name..........
Address........London England
Amount...........3000$

Name ..........
Addresss,,,,,,,,,London England
Amount..........4000$

And get back with the payment information to cash it at the western union or money gram office.
So by you paying these fees we tell you the person that want you dead so i want you not to take this as a Joke.

Regards

Quote:

,

I don't think I ever said I wanted anyone dead.

Like I said, I have Rocco and Neri to protect me so I don't really think I need to worry about your four guys.

I think you are a small time operator.

-Michael

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:56 pm

Yes, he started me off at 10 thousand, but that gradually went down to two payments of 2,000. He's sent me a reminder every half hour today so far. Hopefully he's sat waiting in the cafe for that golden number. I'll let him stew until the mails get a bit more threatening than this. If I can hold out until Saturday, I could send him the transfer info in the evening, so he has to wait until Monday to be burned again.

Quote:

I am expecting the payment information you ougth to have come back from the money gram .
Regards
V a n u c h i

Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:46 pm

Evening came, and still no control number was forthcoming from Sid.

Quote:

Dear Sid
Where is the payment information
V a n u c h i

So...

Quote:

V a n u c h i, I had to do some things here. I buried the postman and the old lady while it was still dark, and I thought I did a
good job of concealing the graves but after I took a shower, it had gotten light, and the freshly dug graves were a little
too obvious for my liking. I placed turf over the tops, but there are two obvious "humps" in the ground, have you any
suggestions about what to do to conceal the graves? What do you usually do, to dispose of the bodies after you whack
someone?

I was thinking of hiring a big, heavy roller and flattening out the humps, what do you think? I guess as the bodies decompose
they'll shrivel down a bit anyways, but I thought I might get a couple of trees and place the saplings at the centre of the humps.
What do you think?

I'll get to the moneygram office just as soon as I decide what to do.

Aubergines,

Sid.

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:59 am

This mugu must live on a steady diet of strong coffee and crystal meth. He always seems to reply within 20 minutes! Typical hit-mugu too... I keep trying to get him outside of the box, he just keeps on plugging away about do I want to live or dead. I'm currently psychoanalysing him, but I think my efforts are wasted.

I don't think this guy is just not getting the joke, I think he's totally unaware that there is a joke! I was wondering how many "associates" he has, since he's sent me 6 different names (same message as quoted here) to make the WUXfers to so far. But then I remembered.... you don't need no ID to get your payment if there's a secret question involved. Too bad he keeps forgetting to mention that little quirk, but that's his own fault now isn't it.

Still, how does the same guy keep coming back to a WU outlet to collect payments for 3 different people? Heck I'd pay to see that!

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 12:02 pm

He may have forgotten that you can collect a westie payment with nothing but the sender and receiver name plus the secret question and answer, but we haven't. Smile

When my MTCN is smudged, that's all he'll get from me.

Quote:

Dear Sid
What is wrong with you i want you to decide fast and get back to me with the payment details within 4hrs.
If not my boys will shot you down and you will die so get the payment sent soonest.
It a warning
Regards
V a n u c h i

14 hours later:

Quote:

Dear Sid
What is the matter with you.We give you few hours to get the money sent other wise we wont accept the money again and we carry out our operation cause these is getting to long for our liking.

My boys are about to shot yo but i told them to stop Kindly send the money soon

These is my LAST MAIL i will warn you to send the Payment information when next you will be a Dead Person.

Good Luck

V a n u c h i

To illustrate his point, just in case I didn't know what a dead person was, he sent me two pictures of dead people. One is a headless body in a bathtub, the other a severed head. The severed head looks very real. Sick bugger. He shall pay for that.

Quote:

V a n u c h i, you are one sick bastard. Sending me pictures of dead people, do you think I don't know what ****ing death is?
I served in the cavalry in Phuket and Ichicrutchi. Let me tell you, I've had more hot dinners.

You know what? I sent the money, and I was just about to send you the scanned payment slip, but **** you. For sending me
those disgusting pictures, I'm telling you where to stick it. I'll load my rifle, and if I catch sight of anyone who looks like
you or one of your boyfriends, I'll put one in their bollocks.

I want an APOLOGY for that disgraceful and ungentlemanly act, or we forget the whole thing and I just fight to the death. I
have nothing to lose now anyway, you made me kill two people. I have no life if I get collared for that.

Which brings me to the reason I was late sending the payment. Those two bodies I buried, the people YOU made me kill.
I had to do something to hide them, so I rolled them flat and laid concrete over the top. I now have a nice driveway.

I'm waiting for your apology, or it's war, vile son of Julian Cleary.

Challottes,

Sid.

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:25 pm

Just got those pictures too. I told him I'd done worse myself in the operating room. He's going to get it now for putting me off my lunch.

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:45 pm

He stopped writing to me Sad

.

I was all set to try and find a picture of the horse head from The Godfather too.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

he won't even respond to me -- and I've practically offered him everything....everything, if he'll just take off the contract. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:49 pm

Quote:

Dear Sid
I am very sorry.I have apologize to you we dont need war now that we want to conclude issue.
So now i am very sorry .So now i expect you to send the payment slip ok.
I await the payment slip
Regards
V a n u c h i

Doesn't sound very sorry to me.

Quote:

V a n u c h i, I'll send the payment slip for the 2,000 dollars just as soon as I receive a PROPER apology from you. It's obvious you don't mean a word of that. I want a handwritten apology, that's the only way we do business here in the Bahamas. Anything less than that is an insult.

I don't want war either, but I will fight if I have to. Sending those pictures disgusted me to the very core of my being. I am more offended than I have ever been in my life, and if you were here I would challenge you to a duel to the death. How dare you send such vile filth to me. You disgust me, you maggot.

Until I receive your handwritten and scanned apology, a state of war will exist between us. As soon as I receive this, I will send the payment slip scan to you. This is my word as a gentleman, which you have demonstrated you are NOT.

Waiting for your response

Aubergines

Sid.

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:01 pm

And...

Quote:

I got the first two of your guys as they got out of their car, just across the street. I shot both of the bastards. Now you can see how serious I am about this. Now I have two of your guys to bury, beside the postman and Mrs Miggins.

Apples,

Sid.

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:44 pm

Well I decided to take a run at this guy, he is not that bright, but guess he can run a lot of these at a time!!!

Anyway told him I was broke and colud not pay that much.

Quote:

Dear Michael

Ok how much do you have that you can send today so that we spare your life and we tell you that person that want you dead

Get back to me on the amount you have asap

Regards

V@nuchi

I am quite a poor bugger and dont care much for my life!!!

Quote:

I can only get 532.32 that is everything I own... please dont hurt me...

Alas that amount works for him!!!

Quote:

Dear Micheal

Oh no.It a pity what have you done the person that want you dead.

So go to the western union around and the get 532.32 sent to the below address.No problem Ok

Name � J@ME T0NNY
Address: 78 XXXXX
Amount - $532.32

You have less than 4hr to get back with the payment information.

Regards

V@nuchi

Quote:

No possible way I can get to WU in 4 hours though!!!
I cannot possibly get to western union today.. it will be tomorrow at the earliest as the office here closes at 4 and I am in meetings all day.. just ask your boys.. I am a very busy man.

Oh no I am scared...

But it looks like tomorrow is just fine... maybe the day after...

Quote:

Dear Micheal

Ok,just try and send the money fast as you can cause it importance as your life too

Good Bye

V@nuchi

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:24 pm

I don't know why you all are being so nasty to this nice hitman. We have been having a very pleasant dialogue as you can see.

Quote:

How are you

You have less than 6hrs to 8hrs to get this done.

All you need i to go to the nearest Western Union Money Transfer around with the information below

Name � JAME TONNY
Address: 78 Buckingham Palace Road , London , SWW ORR.
Amount - $3,500

Name � HARRY CAMPBELL
Address: 78 Buckingham Palace Road , London , SWW ORR.
Amount - $3,500

Name � MALCOLM LEE
Address: 78 Buckingham Palace Road , London , SWW ORR.
Amount - $3,000

And get the money are listed above to the name and address.

And you wil be given a Money Transfer Control Number.10DIGIT number
that what you will get back to me

So await you response soonest.

Regards

Vanuchi

Off course now I have to ask why I have to send money to three people or is it only one of the three and can I choose which one and why do I get a discount just from the third person. So many questions, so many emails to respond to and we haven't even gotten to the MTCN's yet. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:43 pm

He sent a few more typed apologies, which I ignored. An hour ago, this came....

What a plonker.

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:52 pm

^ Awesome

.

Of course, if he truly wants to repent, he needs to join a church Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:57 pm

Well I didn't tell him the Bahamian apology protocol has three(3) stages. Wink

The second stage is a spoken apology, which he may leave on my answering machine.

Quote:

V a n u c h i, that's helped cool me down a little. I feel slightly better about you again, but I still think you're a bit of a bastard.
As soon as you leave an apology on my answering machine +1 360 *******, I will scan the payment slip and send it
to you immediately so you can collect the 2,000 dollars.

I want all this killing to end, as I'm sure you do, too. Go ahead and leave the apology on my answerphone.

Grapes,

Sid.

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:42 pm

Little buggar sent me those pics too! I told him to stop that, since I had seen that movie and even if they were real I would be harder to kill than a little girl. He agreed that his actions were stupid, then gave me some banking details for Alan! jump_4_joy

This guy is just too polite for his own good sometimes. I think I'll send him some funds tonight and mess up the info. Then maybe it's time for a twist in the plot...

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 12:51 am

By the by, is he pretending to be Italian or something? Surely any self-respecting Italian crime overlord would spell it v a n u c c i ??

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:43 am

manbiteslion wrote:

Surely any self-respecting Italian crime overlord would spell it v a n u c c i

Of course he would, if he were a) Italian, b) a crime lord or c) not a total moron. Although the lads generally aren't stupid, this is a most classic example of why it's easy to see them that way!

Spelling in ANY language is just too difficult for a lad. While they never (OK, rarely) seem to mis-spelt when it comes to money transfer details, everything else seems to be fair game for their linguistic butchery. Look at the number of letters you'll get from Mariam Abacha, Chukwama Soludo, Robert Mullers, and the Interantional Remmitense Department Managar! You could argue that typing in another language is not easy, but that defense only goes so far.

The guy who wrote this script saw The Godfather once, and figured nobody would remember such a minor character from such an old film!

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:48 am

He didn't like the phone apology modality. A man like Don? Beg? Not yet. He's beginning to lose it guys Smile

Quote:

Dear Sid

You are not serious what do you take me for Begging from you.
No i am not begging money from you i am just trying to safe your life and return the money i collected from the person that i hired me to kill you.But now you acting like a Kid if you do not scan the payment slip in your next mail i will like you to go to Money Gram and go and collect your money back and use it to buy Burial casket on where to bury you.

Cause i took you as a Gentle man but you didnot act like that.

Now i am no more Joking now in the next hrs now if you dont scan the slip i will get you Dead i mean Dead My self will come and see your dead and take a pic so that i can show people that disobey me .

Good bye

V a n u c h i

Quote:

Fine. Then war it is. If you do not leave the spoken apology on my answerphone by the end of today, I will load my rifle, cash in the payment slip myself, and give the 2,000 dollars to our local orphanage.

Pears

Sid

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 11:30 am

Quote:

Dear Sid
Ok better load you raffle.Now i am coming myself to shot you.Remember you dont know me but i know you so you will be a Dead Person from the moment .
Then you loose all what Life becuase of you ingorance but now i dont need the 2000$ again.
What i am going to do now is to get you Killed hence forth unless you pay me 5000$ again.I may not kill you today or tommorow or next week But i promised you death is around your corner,
It will be adviceable if you get the 2000$ back from money and you it to buy riffle to kill innocent people and that time you land your self in jail or before you go to jail i migth have come and Bomb Your house and if you there venture want to pack i will shot your fore head from a far distance.
God Death
Vanuchi

Quote:

All right numb nuts, bring it on. I'll be waiting. It's a shame you can't just be a gentleman. You know what? I'd gladly pay that 5,000, even much, much more than 5,000, to find out who paid you to kill me. You only need to name your price. But since you don't know how to behave, and you're unable to do the gentlemanly thing and put that apology on my answering machine, all you're going to get is an all-american cap in your ass.

If you change your mind, I'll be checking my answerphone every hour.

Bananas,

Sid.

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 12:55 pm

Woot! What an arsehat.

http://members.419eater.com/~psychedelia_smit/vanuci_apol.wav

Quote:

Dear Sid

Check your phone i left the voice mail in about 5 mins ago,

Once again i am sorry

Await the payment slip of the 2000$

Regards

V a n u c h i

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