God's gift to Safari-makers?

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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:17 pm

You may have seen Samuel Ellis0n from the Surplus Letters box- a poor orphan boy, with lung cancer and a brain tumor, who needs to sell a kidney to pay for his operation. Boo hoo.

Anyway, I've contacted him about buying his body parts, and after three e-mails he send me this:

Quote:

yes i saw it but if after selling it i will not die? if no there's no problem i will sell it,How much can you buy?

And we will see each other should fly down to your country or should come down here?

I thought maybe he was a fluffy kitty cat, but his IP is from central Benin. I can't figure out what his angle is here. Is he going to send a "relative" to negotiate? What if I had said I live in America?

For whatever it's worth, I've told him to meet me in Lome, Togo.

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:23 pm

He is just pulling your chain Cool

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:30 pm

Ask him his parts come with a warranty- Nothing worse than buying a new kidney only to find out it's defective!

I'd go for 10% up front, balance due 30 days after installation. Laughing

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 11:12 pm

Ask him if it's a left one or a right one he's offering to sell you ?

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

You can't seriously consider buying an organ from someone without a full medical workup. There are lots of forms for the physician to fill out, plus all of those invasive photos he'll have to provide, to prove his health.

Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 11:42 pm

^^ Plus sonar imaging of both kidneys to see which one you'd like to purchase. Ask him if he would be willing to part w/ a bit of small intestine as well.

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:52 am

See if he'll throw in his pancreas while you're at it Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:07 am

Actually, I'm buying his gluteus maximus. But I'm only paying top-price if it's top-condition.

I'm hoping to avoid revealing which body-part exactly the gluteus is. Ya know, because he might not think I'm serious if he figures out I'm trying to buy his butt.

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:42 am

Oh, your lad's butt isn't worth much. It's probably all spread out and deformed from all the sitting on it in the Internet cafes all day. Smile

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:51 am

So a child orphan who smokes enough fags to get lung cancer which has spread to his brain... - seeing as he's a spare parts flipping liability. Would you want a cancer-riddled kidney, no matter how cheap - wouldn't you rather stay on dialysis?

Perhaps your colleague 'Old Nick' could secure a price for the kids immortal soul? It'll be liberated from the body soon enough with that much surgery in 3rd world hospitals :-$

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:55 am

Good point. This lad's entire body is a liability. I'd be sure to get clean bills of health from at least two reputable physicians before offering him anything more than five bucks per organ.

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:58 am

If his liver is in good shape, I might be interested.
I have some Fava beans, and a nice Chianti! Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:17 am

I'm baiting this fellow as well, he really really needs money for his medication (beer and crack) for his doped up little body.

This guy seems fairly lazy and is sticking mostly to a script

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 10:35 am

<br>I was going to bait this lad when I received his heart rendering plea as well. However, I felt sorry for him because if he sold anymore of his internal organs, they would have to stuff him with sawdust and call him Teddy. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 3:28 pm

manbiteslion wrote:

Perhaps your colleague 'Old Nick' could secure a price for the kids immortal soul? It'll be liberated from the body soon enough with that much surgery in 3rd world hospitals :-$

You may have swerved into something here. As a poor orphan boy who is facing all of this tribulation, he should have a pretty pure soul. Maybe a (rich) mean old man who is afraid of dying and going to his just punishment, could offer to pay the young man to take on half of his sins. That way, when we both pass away, we will both have enough good in us to get into heaven.

Any voodoo priests out there willing to assist in the ritual?

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 6:38 pm

crashhoot wrote:

If his liver is in good shape, I might be interested.
I have some Fava beans, and a nice Chianti! Twisted Evil

*** BANNED *** Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 164

Leave some for me please

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 7:52 pm

^^ By the time the OP is thru w/ him there will only be toenail shavings & a few scrap eyelashes left. Laughing

It's 1st come 1st serve & there's already dibs on the lad's soul. You can make do with the scraps tho right?

*** BANNED *** Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 164

^^^^^^^
cant be arsed i have turned veggie eating stephen hawking's

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:26 pm

^^^^^^^
That isn't funny.

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:43 pm

Well, lad's safaring. No wait, sorry- the lad's "good friend" is coming to Togo to answer questions about his Samuel's butt.

This is just... just too easy. Either that, or boy Samuel is a few cards short of a deck. Probably that brain tumor.

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:47 pm

I wonder how long it will take the friend to get there. 20 mins? 30? Confused

Offer to meet him at the cafe & demand he have lifesize color photos of Sam's ass. Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:53 pm

Sam doesn't seem to be smart, it takes three emails to hum to grasp what I want, and so far he's only begging me for $55, maybe to buy a bus ticket? (or dinner)

Edit After asking me for money I told him that god helps those that helps themselves, the last two emails are quite funny.

From the lad himself

Quote:

YES I KNOW THAT, REMEBER THAT SOME TIME GOD HELP THROUGH A PERSON SO TRY AND SEE IF YOU CAN SEND SMALL MONEY FOR TO BUY SHIT

I responded to him

Quote:

SAMUEL

Do not swear again, it is a blasphemy.

I will not break the rules of my church and god to help a blasphemous mouth.

Remember Black is the tounge which blasphemes so shall the soul be blackend by the sin

Let Jesus into your life

Shishtavi bless you my son

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