I am too slow...

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Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:59 am

My lad (cheque-mule-scam) told me I'm too slow.

First I get totally drunk right after work and cannot make it to the bank to make the transfer, then I am too busy and yesterday the bank-manager, which needs to clear huge transfers, wasn't there.
After he already was quite angry before, which I could solve with a bit of nonsense, he tells me I'm too slow:

Quote:

Dear ,

This is taking too long a time.

Is this how you will be processing the payments from and other clients?

This is rather too slow.

In the absence of a Bank Manager, there is always someone to deputise like his deputy.

Please ensure that everything is done today as this is weekend.

Also endeavour you make the money Gram transfer today as well.

I love the part where somebody should deputise like a deputy...

Well, he might be unhappy, but guess how unhappy and sorry will be when there's a massive storm preventing him to leave in order to go the bank and to MoneyGram...

And I guess somebody will have to wait until Monday for all the transfers...

Now I'll see that his bank-account gets killed and then I'll have another stupid excuse for Monday..

By the way, my nonsense from yesterday, took care of two more cheques being sent to a non-existent address. They were set on hold first, but I obviously was convincing enough for them to be released.

And somehow I don't really like that guy always calling me by my first name. gets it right, she respectfully calls me , but that little fellow who initiated the whole action does not... Evil or Very Mad

Well, I need to get back to my genetic experiments... Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Glad to see you're having fun.
Ah, being too slow. . . what a compliment for you. Very Happy

One of my personal accomplishments is in my sig line
". . . you are incompetence to handle financial transaction".

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:40 pm

When you get complaints that you are too slow and you can feel the frustration in their communications with you, it means everything is just right. Congratulations, great job.

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:09 pm

Well, obviously, the solution is to move faster. Of course, when you do, you can't be blamed for messing things up. It's his fault, for hurrying you Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:12 pm

Somehow, your slowness is all the lad's fault.

He's rushing you, which makes you nervous and worried about the whole deal.

See? It's easy (and fun!) to blame the lads. Smile

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:50 pm

Great job on the bait.

Rushing to comply with the mugu can be hazardous to your health, if you know what I mean.
You can always say that the bank manger was caught having sex with the secretary in the bank's vault and was fired. I will take a week before they have a new one Laughing

*** BANNED *** Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 164

Tell him the deputy was done gone fishing Smile

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 4:30 am

Another cheque-scammer complains about my speed:

Quote:

Could you please update me with the development . What is going on ? What is really happening ? Do you know that you tired down my business ? I did not do any thing wrong to you,please send my money.

I'm so sorry for tiring down her business...

And yes, I'm enjoying this. I really do. I told them I'm a busy person, doing research for the does keep you busy. I told them, and they didn't mind. So now they have to accept that I don't always have time to jump when they tell me.

About the bank-manager: I actually wanted to go the route of sickness and death. But I can have the deputy being fired for having sex with the cleaning-lady...

And thanks for all the flowers.

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 11:15 am

This guy doesn't complain yet that I'm too slow (as said, YET!), but he points out that we need to embrace promptness.

Quote:

Dear
For the umpteenth time I wish to use this unique medium to further re-assure you that the execution of this project will be perfectly legal and 100% risky free.

As I earlier stated in my last email to you, your entitlement to the inheritance funds will be officially ratified and legally upheld legislatively.
You should therefore not worry about the legality of this project as everything will be done in processing the project in line with laid down legal provision on inheritance funds claim.

Furthermore, you should forward to me your telephone number, full address, age and occupation for use in accrediting and endorsing your right of claim to the inheritance funds. You should also scan and send to me a photocopy of your ID for project official endorsement of your entitlement to the funds as well.

It is important for both of us to embrace promptness to purpose as it concern this project processing and avoid unnecessary repetition.
I await your prompt and candid response.
Yours sincerely,

And I totally agree with him:

Quote:

Dear ,

I agree that promptness and quick reactions are key here.
We should not waste time, especially not with meaningless conversation.

Thus I have to decided to write you this email to ensure you that I'm
100% behind you in this.
Also I appreciate the you ensure me that this is perfectly legal and
100% risky free. It it wasn't I'd not be doing this.
I cannot risk damaging my good reputation with an illegal and not
risky free undertaking, thus it was necessary for me to clarify that.
I am sure you agree that it only is good business-practice to do so.

Of course I will provide you with all the information you require,
including phone-number, address and, if necessary, my shoe-size.
I am aware that this is important to arrange for the necessary
documents, and that I should do this promptly without delay.

While I'm at it. How long do you think will the processing of the
documents take?
And which country are you located in? How is the weather there?

Of course these are just casual questions, but as we both are good and
honest business men I think it only is appropriate to ask those, for a
better relationship during this undertaking.

Be aware that very soon, promptness is what we need to embrace, as you
have put it so eloquently, I also will need to have some information
about yourself.

Best regards,

You might have noticed, that everything after the bold line is actually what I have said we shouldn't waste our time with, meaningless conversation.
And of course I not only did not include the requested information, I also didn't attach any file to this mail.
Thinking about, maybe I should have attached a photo of my character...

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:46 pm

Rooster:

Monday is a bank holiday in the US.... Martin Luther King, Jr. day. All financial institutions will be closed. Sad for you really Laughing

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 1:50 am

Someone's not going to like that...

And maybe it's also time again to blow up another experiment, and with it . Good there's another friendly guy who can fill his spot as cheque-mule...