Dag Nasty... Henndick, parting is such sorrow....

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Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:00 am

Well, Connie is busy here, and needs to sleep as "she" has been working all day, but I wanted to channel the spirit of Connie in hopes of getting a commitment to travel again:

Quote:

Henidk,
Look, you idiot! I am trying to get to you, okay? I
like he who you asked not be named, but not as
anything more than a friend. Even that, I don't really
like him. I love YOU! Who did I come to Africa to see?
You! Who is my hudsband? YOU! WHO is the man I love
and want? YOU!
So, what I need you to do is tell me when you can
meet me at the border after I leave Burkina Faso. I am
afraid to travel alone with all of this money! What
happens if I get robbed, or killed, or worse! What
then, Mr Onlycaresaboutthemoney? Huh? WHAT THEN?
What I am looking for is a chance to meet you with
euther Bernie or Raul, some man who can protect me,
before I go wandering into Togo.
I have questions, and I need you to answer them:
1. Will you meet me?
2. Do you Love me?
3. When can we be married?
4. Do you still want me to have a historic baby with
you?
5. Will you allow me to serve you like the King I need
in my life?
All of my love,

Connie

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:34 am

Isn't it nearly time for our heroine to be found out by Rh0d3s? While she goes to spend a penny, she inadvertently leaves her email account page open and Rh0d3s reads her emails and finds out about the money.

Maybe she can also be forcibly ejected from the camp (just like Hessie?) and threatens Kendick that she will fly home with everything unless he comes to pick her up at the airport (doesn't matter which airport, as long as it's inconvenient for him to get to).

Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Feb 2007 Posts: 31

stupid lad wrote:

HONEY am not blackmailing him but am telling you the gospel truth,kindly collect my ipod from Raul I hate him.

Hahaha, this i brilliant. Kindly collect my ipod from Raul. I hate him.. Oh man, I can't stop laughing. And I am at work...

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:14 am

Doc, This is just too funny! Hendick better not be on the move during the AFC/NFC Championship Games....it would be a hard choice to make as to which one to watch, Hendick or the Games. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:27 am

TurkeyTrotter wrote:

Maybe she can also be forcibly ejected from the camp (just like Hessie?)

Actually that is a modaility that could be played. Would Raul & Bernie being out of the picture and Connie being stranded all alone at the border with all of teh remaining loot be enough incentive to get this mugu back onboard the safari ...??

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:12 am

^^I think that may work. Hendick is afraid of Raul, and would feel uncomfortable with Bernie, too, i think, since they have butted heads so much. With them gone, he would not have to worry about any males getting in the way.

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:44 pm

Well, look what greets my inbox in the morning, a romantic message from m y mugu. His words in bold:

Quote:

Hi HONEY,

I don't need to be annonyed at all because you women are like little dogs that yeild only to the guide of it's owner,HONEY am your owner but you are sturburn and can not because of your sturburness offend my God of LOVE.

I careless about money but you are making mistakes,I prefer LOVE to money;it's true that am a poor person but am proud of my poverty because I fear God of LOVE.

Please I will only come if you bank your money to your account in NYC so that your money will be safe,I want this because the fucking woman snatcher and Bernie has given you a dirty injection about me and about Excellent Country Togo,I thanked them for doing so,but what can be the only problem is that if any of them ever touch my thing,the god of thunder will visit both of them one after the other and Alegba the only perfect dangerous voudoun will judge them because they planned to snatch my wife from me.

HONEY,

1. Will you meet me? Yes,under the condition that you send your money back to your account in NYC or elsewhere so that when you reach here and find my enviroment ok for you,that I am a poor man but careless about money but fear the God of LOVE.OK
2. Do you Love me?Yes,with all my heart and ready to get Raul out of my way anytime I suspect him trying to waylay my LOVE to you.
3. When can we be married?Immediately you are here and feel convinient that am not after your money but after my historic child

4. Do you still want me to have a historic baby with
you?Yes,with all Godly pleasure,HONEY.
5. Will you allow me to serve you like the King I need
in my life?Yes,if you can proof to me that Raul is a toy.compare to your Godly HONEY.
Your HONEY.

Looks like he wants to prove his love! He's going to love me without any money! Awwwwww, sweeet!

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:57 pm

dr stephen williams wrote:

Looks like he wants to prove his love! He's going to love me without any money! Awwwwww, sweeet!

Great, when is he coming to Burkina... Very Happy

Y'know, some guest have been making complaints about Raul, perhaps its time to sack him.... Wink

"kak shoveler" Joined: 20 Dec 2007 Posts: 243

How do you send your money back to the U.S. from that area. Could he be testing the waters?

Further his first line disturbs me. I believe if this situation was remitely true, he would seriously injure and enslave his victim. He mentioned possibly caning her yesterday. I think there should be some serious slapping going on here.

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:14 pm

This lad is a real pig, but a choice mugu for Doc's manipulations. He's just begging for abuse...

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 3

Every time I see anything about the "historic baby" you're going to have with him, I think of a baby in, like, an Abe Lincoln hat. Very Happy

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 12:53 am

^^that's weird. Abe Lincoln hat? I see a baby with horns, "The AntiChrist?"

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 5:19 am

Simba wrote:

just how much is a 114,000cfa taxi fare in real money....

About 256 $ Very Happy

Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 5:40 am

Quote:

Hi HONEY,
I am not ok since my arrival from Natitingou and will have the celebration of my daughter on Wednesday 23/01/2008 ,which I informed you before,I may join you at the border of Togo-Burkina faso after the celebration of the birth day,if you don't mind.
I will like to have your real picture so as to identify you when I reach there because I will not like to be messed up as that of Cotonou airport.or you can from Burkinafaso bord bus to Togo,there are transport company from Ouaga-Burkina faso to Lome-Togo,that will be better,you may leave Burinafaso on Sunday and will be here early Monday Morning and I will wait you at the bus park,it's very easy and cheaper.
Try this you will enjoy it,if you want me to book you a chance in the car from Lome-Togo and you will just bord,I will pay for the transportation fare from here.kindly reply urgently so that I can be able to book you for Sunday-Monday to Lome-Togo.
Your LOVE.

and

Quote:

Hi HONEY,
I will like you to accept my decision,kindly send your money to NYC so that we can be able to enjoy ourselves here with the little I have,I will like you to do so,it's very easy and simple just get yourself to a bank in Burkina faso,like ECOBANK,you have you bank account information in NYC with you,it's very easy you just request to transfer money from there to your account,I will be grateful if you can do that.
I LOVE you but kindly do this when you are here and feel conmfortable you can then request for any amount we need for anything and you will have it easily.I am very sorry to remain on this point but it's for the betterment ofboth of us and of the good image of my Country
Togo.ok.do that.
I need you in my bed,I just make LOVE with your rival yesterday because you were not arround and I need the thing,please,I am sorry to be transparent to you,so as to be conscience free,I mean not to hurt you HONEY,you must accept this because I did not meet you as scheduled.

Your HONEY.

so

Quote:

Honey!
He who shall not be named is just a friend! I have
no interest in him! NONE. What I want is you!
I have agreed to meet you at the border of Togo.
Will you meet me there? I am afraid to travel around
with the money, and, no, I cannot send the money back,
silly! We will need it to conclude our business!
I don't care if you are poor now, but soon you will
be very rich! RICH! We can live anywhere you want!
Maybe we could buy some land in Togo and raise goats?
Can you tell me where they might have some goats I
could buy, for raising them for milk. I am vegetarian.
And we could maybe raise goats together.
Do you have any goats?
So, when can you meet me at the border of Burkina
Faso and Togo? I am ready to leave here, and I want to
be with you!
I love you, Hendick!
All of my love,

Connie

This lad says he doesn't want money, and won't travel. Maybe I can get some goat pictures?

Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 11:45 pm

Sorry to necro my own thread, but I still have this guy on the hook, and am applying a bit of pressure t get him to move again. He still wants the iPod and computer and the $23,000...

We have been writing back and forth, plus I rebaited him, so this guy is now a part of my life.

>

Quote:

Hi HONEY,I am very sorry but I can not go to
> Burkinafaso if you rely LOVE me come to Togo,I don't
> mind the thinking of Bernie or any one.I invited you
> to Africa but your intention was diverted by the
> foolish obeisity Melanie,HONEY.I wish you the best
> stay in Africa.I can not come.ok.
>
> Your HONEY

Sounds like he doesn't like Melanie...

Quote:

Dear Honey,
I have been cryign since I read this. You never loved me. You mad me go to Burkina Faso to the hotel and sit around waiting. I hope you are happy now.
Well, I am going hom on Friday, with my money and my laptop and my iPod and my hairbrush. Some man you were.
Look, do you want to see me or not? What happenes to our money? I wanted to get that, too. I mostly wanted to see you while in Africa, and have sex with you, to f<snipped for a rare bit of decency>, and what did you do? You left me all alone.
Hendick, I don't understand why you had to treat me so roughly. I only wanted to love you. Are you a gay? Do you not like women?
Hey, I have an idea! Maybe you could meet me in Parakou at the shuttle stop. I could get a room for us, for just one night! It looks like a nice hotel. I will be back in Parakou Wednesday, and I fly out of Cotonou Saturday.
Lets not give up on getting the money! And, I don't want to carry a laptop home. What use is it to me? I have two at home.
Write me soon so I can make a plan.
All of my love, to you,

Connie

[/quote]

Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:32 am

Hey, I was wondering what happened to him. Very Happy

I'm afraid I have completely lost track of who Melanie is, though. Maybe we could get a brief recap of the lovely couple's safari (mis)adventure?

Posted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 3:39 am

Melanie is the 300 lbs friend of Connie, a divorced woman who suggested $imb@ $@faris to Connie...

I can't wait till morning as this guy writes while I sleep....

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:41 pm

Well, after some back and forth, he wants me to go to Togo, I want him to meet me in Naiamey etc, etc, etc, I decided to end this, with a spiteful twist...

I got about 2o emails like this, full of lazy ass secret James Bond stuff:

Quote:

> Hi HONEY,
>
> I am in Lome Aveposo and it will be easier for you
> once in Togo to lodge in an hotel,hotel
> sarakawa,hotel 2 Fevrier,hotel Ibis and from there
> you can tell me the room number I will come and meet
> you there,you have my pictures if I arrive we shall
> then exchange code,your code to identify me is
> (HONEY KISSES).
>
> That will be the first statement from both of
> us,if you pronounce this (HONEY KISSES) I will reply
> you (HONEY KISSES) .If I pronounce (HONEY KISSES)
> you reply(HONEY KISSES).
>
> Nothing easier than this for us to identify each
> other but if you think otherwise you are free to
> proposed.ok
>
> Your LOVE.
>
>

So, here it is. The kiss off and good bye "We can still be friends". I expect some primo siggy material in response:

Quote:

Hi Hendick,
I thought you should be the first to know. I know that you and I have had a tumultuous relationship, and that we have had our ups and downs, strikes and gutters, ins and outs (well, not yet, but we could have). So I need you to remember that allis okay.
I have a small announcement to make. It may not be easy for you to hear, but you need to take it like a man. Don't flinch, and don't feel sad. I want you to be happy, and all I ever wanted was to be with you.
You left me sitting alone for some time. You never came to get me when I waited, and I waited a long time. I gave up the hairbrush, and I put down the brats, but some things need atteneded to.
I was becoming a nervous wreck. I still wanted you to come to me, but, honey, you never got here? Why not? I don't know, and you won't tell me.
Did you get another woman? Did you give our money to some strumpet, some loose harlot?
Okay, so, here it is. I need to be forthcoming, and, so, without any further delay or beating around the bush, though that would be easier than coming out and telling you the truth, especially as I know this is going to be difficult for you, and it is for me, too, honey, I promise it is. You have no idea how hard this is for me. I have cried tears over this, lost sleep, and been so worried about how this will affect our friendship, and our busniess together. It will be hard for all of us, you, me, Raul, all of us will have a hard time with this, and that is why I wanted to tell you.
Honey, Raul and I are getting married.
He was there for me when you weren't, and I must have been blind!
I want you to be the best man at the weding. Then, during the wedding, you and I can still do the transaction. I still have my money, and, while I lent Raul your computer, I am giving it to you, still. I will get Raul his own computer, okay?
So, let me know if you can make it to the wedding. We will be having the wedding this Sunday at the camp here in Pendjari, and you would be an honoured guest.
I love you! Still! it's just that I needed a man who wouldf be there for me, and that wasn't you. You only left me alone.
Anyway, lets remain friends and you and I can still do the business together.
Some of my love, to you,

Connie

Hahahaha, and I am baiting him again as a very secretive rich business man. I think he may be traveling to Ghana, soon.

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:50 pm

Doc you should frame that hairbrush after the wedding. That has to be one of the best Dear John letters I've ever seen; I expect Hendick to be shuffling off this mortal coil any time now. Twisted Evil

Oh and congratulations on the upcoming nuptials!

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:21 pm

Doc! I just knew you would find love and marry Raul in the end! I'm so happy for you, I'm crying tears of joy! Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:25 pm

@ Slapphappy: Me, too! Isn't it so sweet? Of course, old, um, what-his-face, he s not going to be happy....

@ Bohigal, the hairbrush will be donated to a museum, after being boiled.

I am eagerly awaiting about 8 emails from him soon, and will happily share his unhappiness with all happy campers!!

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 5:39 pm

No word from Hendick, so, wanting to rub some salt in his wounds, I sent this:

Quote:

Hi hendick,
Look, I feel reeeeeeeeeeeeeeealy bad about how this is ending, and I want you to know, no hard feelings. It's just that I waited and waited, I even went to meet you and you never showed up after you said you would, and then Raul was back at Pendjari camp, and, well, you know how when you have two pieces of wood with coals smouldering, and then they burst into flame? Well, that's what happend, and we burned together.
But I still want us to be friends, okay? Let's all be big people about this, okay?
So, what should we do about the money? Can I bring my husband over to Togo with me to do the deal? Or can you meet me at the border, so we can get this thing done! Maybe we could do it at the wedding, if you want, honey.
Life is like this! I came aaaaaaaall the way to Africa, looking for you, and then, I met him! It was you I wanted, wityh all of my body, my heart, my pus<four words edited to maybe convince someone to change my *warning*>ped for you, but it was him I found waiting for me.
So, can you come for the wedding? Please?
I still like you,

Connie

If I was Raul, I'd be headed back to Cuba about now.....

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 7:23 pm

Quote:

I still like you,

OUCH!

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 8:24 pm

Hahahaha! And I do like him, as much as I like any predatory scumbag thief who would prey on a poor woman like "Connie":, which is to say, not much, though, of course he does have his amusing side.

Well, he has still not responded. My other character, rebaiting him, has not heard from him either. Maybe he has hung himself....

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 8:38 pm

Quote:

Maybe he has hung himself....

Being stupid mugu he probably failed. A "brush" with death you might say.

Dag Nasty... Henndick, parting is such sorrow....	View next topic View previous topic