Mass bait: You have to clear yourself from this mess

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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:18 am

Time to ask the 3FCC for some documents. I've told them twice that our law firm has deep pockets for the defense of our client.
We'll keep up the pretense that the new Barrister is *really a Barrister*

Quote:

This is to inform you that I am now the principle attorney in the case of Mr. Juan Valdez, and I have taken on a co-counsel, Mr. John Sand.
I will require the following things:
All documents that list the charges against Mr. Valdez;
The place and date and time of his hearing.
A list of all witnesses that will testify against Mr. Valdez.
A Writ of Evidencus Testimonus listing all evidence against my client.
Please send copies of all the above to Barrister Sand.

My office admin will remind the barrister to send her all of his expenses.

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:06 am

careful they painted me in a corner.

I kept demanding barry sends me his certificate of passing the bar. eventually he told me to bugger off, so i told 3fcc i hired a new lawyer, first thing they asked was they wanted to see his certificate. now i told them it is not thier business, and pressed them hard for the 3fcc office address and phone number saying i googled them and couldn't find the office etc.

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:01 am

We have just sacked Frank, as we have discovered (horror of horrors) that he is NOT registered with the Bar Association! We have passed the matter to our legal advisers to inform that august body, the 3fcc, that Frank was a fraud! I am sure that they will be horrified! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 12:07 pm

@Haywood: I asked the 3fcc to assign me a Nigerian atty to assist me in the defense of my client, and they gave me Sand's name.
My admin sent him an expense form, so far he has not asked for $ up front.

(Probably just too busy w/all these other fraud cases! Wink

)

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 1:59 pm

I got barry to admit he was a jokey lawyer, and demanded 3fcc use my law firm (just googled law firms in lagos) they say he must send a certificate, i am still pushing them for an office address, can't think why they don't let me have it....

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:02 pm

hey at least we are safe in the knowledge that collectively we are maxing out this muppets scamming time. shame his IP resolves to the UK though, i've travelled a fair bit in africa, every time i go there and get frustrated at the fact that continental drift is faster than the web connection. I just smile and imagine all the mugus sitting there trying to get a days scamming done on some shitty dial up.

always a good oppertunity to send a hi-res goat picture to a lad to show off how proud you are of your animal.

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:29 pm

Uh oh, he's done the unthinkable and made a 17 year old girl cry. These dolls were given to me by my dead mother.

Quote:

I have told you that i dont want the dolls and none of my friends wants it.

Send the fee that you have collected for me to start work,the efcc is going to start action against you,if you fail today.

I asked for an apology for being so mean, or I'm going to take my chances with the FBI. (ps, I asked him if he wanted the dolls about five times, each time giving another reason why he might want one. Considering he's a lawyer I informed him about the 'Judge Judy' doll, complete with gavel, briefs and Guchi legal case. He still doesn't want it???

Not quite a Newb Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Posts: 32

Quote:

Thanks for your email,its so unfortunate that you got yourself into this,the efcc also told me about it when they called.

I am going to represent you,according to the efcc they said this must be treated very urgent,so i am going to commence as soon as possible.

My consultation fee is $2500,i will make sure everything is perfected immediatelly.

I will give you the information to send the money as soon as i hear from you.

Barry

and I am a pensioner O.o

"kak shoveler" Joined: 20 Dec 2007 Posts: 243

@thefile, I have always dealed with B4rry it was Fr4ank they tried to push me off to. I recieved this:

Quote:

So that shows you that he is not a lawyer,he is up to something,remember the efcc said there is no much time,they even called me this morning,so i told them that i cant work for you with my consultation fee.

My reply:

Quote:

Hi B4rry,

I thought you were to busy and the 3fcc replaced you with Fr4nk. Fr4nk was the one that started this mess and the 3fcc knows it.

S0nny J4ckson advised me to block the 3fcc email. When I figure out how to unblock it I may contact them again but I am not happy with the 3fcc.

The 3fcc accused me of not cooperating. I have done everything to cooperate with the 3fcc and the N1ger1an Government which a blind man could see this. They still threatened to have me arrested. This I don't understand. Can you please explain it to me.

The way I figure is that if the 3fcc is going to have me arrested then I won't cooperate with them. I mean why should I? If I am in jail what's the point.

Anyway, I don't recall off hand what your fee was so could you please let me know. I want this matter taken care of as soon as possible.

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:23 pm

re retainer fees: The S.O.B. Barry is getting seriously confused. I transferred $800 to his bank account, and now he's claiming the fee was $8000. I took the liberty of forwarding Barry's original email back to him, but only after I adjusted his quote from $1000 to $800. He hasn't picked up on the change.

Time for a lecture on how he is ethically bound to process my case in the most expeditious manner possible.

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:27 pm

This is our latest round of emails. Tom had been referred to the insurance company to arrange the payment.

From Ins. Co. to Tom

Quote:

Dear Mr. S1ana,

Good day. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm All3n Sho4re.
The Insurance Claims Agent assigned to this case.

I hear you are doing good work organizing the diamond recovery operation. This is
smashing good news indeed.

Well. Surely you have some idea of the value of these diamonds. The diamonds are
valued at upwards of $800,000.00 (Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars). At worst,
they are worth $700,000.00 (Seven Hundred Thousand Dollars) . Not bad in my opinion,
I'm sure you will agree with me.

Mr. S1ana. It is very important that the diamonds are recovered. Otherwise, well,
let's just not consider the alternative shall we. I see no need to contemplate any
particularly dismal possibilities. We must remain upbeat and optimistic.
At any rate, the diamonds must be recovered.

Anyway, down to business. I understand that you require $10,000.00 (Ten Thousand Dollars)
to make a go of things, yes? Of course you will receive the $10,000.00 (Ten Thousand Dollars).
And certainly you do understand the gravity and time sensitivity of this mission do you not?

So I expect full and complete compliance with all requirements and procedures of this company
to ensure immediate payment of the $10,000.00 (Ten Thousand Dollars) is released to you.
This claim and your $10,000.00 (Ten Thousand Dollars) payment is being expedited.

However our company is still required to abide by the interests and mandates of its stock holders.

Which basically means Mr. S1ana that certain protocols must be followed. Or else there won't be
any money given to anybody and I'd be out of a job and quite very possibly in prison and frankly
Mr. S1ana such a grisly scenario doesn't exactly appeal to my particular sensibilities.

I am awaiting approval from my superiors Mr. Pric3water and Mr. March3sa, who are presently in the
UK having another of Ms. B4ggs' diamond caches appraised, on how we will proceed. They should be
arriving back here tomorrow, or the next day at the latest.

Now let's indulge ourselves in some record keeping shall we. I will need from you Mr. Siana the names
and roles of the Task Force members. Each member must initial his or her name on the list confirming that
they are indeed participating in this mission. Please use blue or black ink only.

The Task Force members will be provisionally insured by the underwriter. This provisional coverage is for
actual members of the Task Force ONLY. It will not, under any circumstance extend to any agents or
employees who just happen to be conveniently frittering about the scene.

The reason for this provisional insurance coverage. Let's just say, God forbid, a man, but not just any man,
but an assigned agent , is killed in the line of duty while executing this mission. A Haphazardous Death
lump sum payment in the amount of $25,000.00 (Twenty-Five Thousand Dollars) will be issued
to the surviving heir to compensate for the destruction of their loved one. No $25,000.00
(Twenty-Five Thousand Dollars) benefit will be released to heirs if the fallen agent did not
initial the Task Force Member list.

Now I don't expect any casualties certainly, since this is just a recovery operation, but this is a requirement of the underwriter.
And as I mentioned just a few short moments ago, all requirements and procedures must be adhered to.
To guarantee everyone gets what they want. You get the $10,000.00 (Ten Thousand Dollars), the grieving widows
and children get the $25, 000.00 (Twenty-Five Thousand Dollars), Ms. B4ggs gets her $800,000.00
(Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars) in precious diamonds, and l Mr. Siana get to keep my job and liberty, which
quite honestly is priceless. A win-win all around you have to admit.

Please send me the requested information as soon as humanly possible. It is necessary to move along the
approval process.

I'll be in touch so you be in touch. So we can get this show on the road.

My regards,

All4n Shoare
Claims Agent, F1fe & Affiliates
Rare & Precious Stones Department
A Division of R3TAE

I didn't get the immediate response I've grown accustomed to, so I had my main character send him & Dan letters lat night & this morning.

Quote:

Hello Tom,

I apologize for not getting back to you sooner.
Back to back meetings all day, then I took a Valium and dozed off.

The insurance guy has contacted you correct? He told me he would
contact you today/yesterday.

Give me an update immediately.

I am waiting.

Guch3ey

Quote:

Hi Tom,

I am touching base again. Have you had contact with the insurance company? To
arrange for the payment to be sent. It's already Monday, I want everything in place
well in advance of the EDA of my Diamonds.

Please update me. I will also call them to see what is happening.

Thanks,
Guch3ey

Quote:

Tom,

I just spoke with Mr. Sh0re from the insurance company.

He advised me that he has contacted you and he is awaiting your reply.
He assured me that the $10, 000. 00 payment will be sent
the moment you finalize the arrangements with him.

You need to get on this right away. Keep me abreast of any updates.

Regards,
Guch3ey

Quote:

Dan,

Tom has been contacted by the insurance company. The insurance company is
awaiting Tom's reply.

I have written to Tom to urge him to make immediate contact with the insurance people.

I spoke with them this morning and have been assured that
as soon as Tom finalizes the arrangements with them
the $10, 000. 00 payment will be sent at once.

That is where we are at the moment. Will keep you updated as things develop.

By the way, I received a message from that scoundrel Mr. Patrick
when I got to the office this morning. He said he has some more buyers
lined up but won't be able to meet with them until 2 weeks time.

He feels he has earned himself a holiday and will be going to
Italy and then Spain where he has some contacts. He will return to Abidjan thereafter
to meet with the additional buyers.

Can you believe the utter nerve of this bastard? What is being done to apprehend him?
I want him under the jail!

Gucheey

That inspired the level of attention I expect from these mugus Laughing

Quote:

recieved your email,dont worry as soon as the Diamond is recovered,the efcc will get hold of him,stop emailing him or calling him.

Tom is going to recover the Diamond if the money is release to him.

You know there is no time,tell the insurance company to waste no time because 18th is almost here.

Dan

Quote:

All3n Shoare

Thanks for your email,below is the name of the Task Force members that will work for this

1 0k0l0 M1k3
2 1fy Nch4
3 T0ch1 J0hns0n

To recovered the diamond i have perfected all the modalitise to rescue it as soon as it arrives here,i have told Guch3ey about it. (which he did, got a letter from him reporting his progress Thumbs up

)

There wont be any casualties at all,so dont be apprehensive of that.

Tom

So Mr. Sh0ar3 replied to Tom

Quote:

Mr. S1ana,

Thank you for providing the names of the Task Force Members.

Somehow, three total members seems short-handed.
Frankly Mr. 1iana I was anticipating upwards of at least 30 total men.

Is this just the list of the men supervising the mission?

In any event, I will need a list which bears their handwritten signature or
initials of each Task Force Member regardless of rank for our records.

I also do not anticipate any casualties. However, this requirement
is instituted by the underwriters and must be fulfilled.

I will be on the lookout for that list.

Good day,
All3n Sh0ar3

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:13 pm

inflation in nigeria is ridiculous, my new charicture just got quoted $2,500 as well, i mean just last week it was only $800. my charicture is just a simple goat hearder who provides livestock for adult movies (of course i'll be sending action shots from our latest picture: billy goat's rough....)
since i can't afford $2,500, I might see if he would like to star in 'goat felcher: reloaded" the royalties of which could far exceed $2,500

"kak shoveler" Joined: 20 Dec 2007 Posts: 243

OK, I agree inflation has risen. B4rry's original fee was $800.00 now he wants $1500.00. I was hoping he would ask for more.

Quote:

Dont worry i have talked to the 3fcc,my fee is just $1500.

@thefile, do you think the laptop / cell phone story would work here? It is only $1500.00

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:27 pm

You cheap bastards! I'm paying $10k, stop your whining over a measly $1500 or less Laughing

@ Ambush You told him your money was tight. You have to give the mugu something to work w/. If you have no money, you are useless to him. So either free up some cash, or offer something of value to him. It doesn't have to phones or laptops, but it better be something that would really get his mouth watering. You can offer it as collarteral until you get your hands on some cash.

And not to be nitpicky, but it's FiFe, not file, 2 Fs, no L.

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:45 pm

He has a bank to bank wire transfer coming to the account he specified, and can even track it at . So what do you think he's doing here?

Quote:

wrote:
The amount you send is $800 and if its $800 since its like this i will only take it if its sent through western union,if not please take your money back.

I replied, bringing in the dolla chopppa again:

Quote:

Are you saying you trust a Western Union agents more than your own bank? I feel much more secure doing a bank-bank wire transfer; it is the only way I do business with the petro companies in Dubai UAE and Venezuela.

From your previous emails, it appears that you are not sure which is the correct bank account and that this is the source of your confusions.I have copied this email to your assistant Mr. Madu, who I hope can clear up this banking mess.

Remain reguarded,
Chief. Engineer. Hxxxxx Exxxx IV (HIV, DEng)

"I hate and abhor lying: but thy law do I love." Psalms 119:163

@theFife: You filthy rich snob. Quit rubbing our noses in it! Smile

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:00 pm

bohigal wrote:

@theFife: You filthy rich snob. Quit rubbing our noses in it! Smile

That, after this little gem?

bohigal wrote:

it is the only way I do business with the petro companies in Dubai UAE and Venezuela

You don't sound like you're doing half bad either. Give the mugu his money already! Laughing

"kak shoveler" Joined: 20 Dec 2007 Posts: 243

@theFIFE I am sorry. My eyes are not as good as they use to be. This is what I wrote:

Quote:

Dear B4rry,
$1500.00 is to kind and I thank you for that. I am concerned about the 3fcc. I think they are out to get me. They want me arrested regardless on how cooperative I have been and have stated that in a email.

They have suggested that they had already called the FB1, C1A, and the New Sc0tland Y4rd.

I look forward to you working on my case but I need some assurances from the 3fcc that they will not have me arrested.

I have unblocked there email but I am concerned about writing them. I don't want to say anything that might make them more angry with me.

I would appreciate you having them contact me with the assurances that they will not have me arrested.If they will not assure me that they won't have me arrested I am considering taking my boat into international waters where only the U.S. Navy has jurisdiction.

If the 3fcc can provide me with a letter retracting there communication with the FB1, C1A, and the new Sc0tland Y4rd, and I feel they are telling the truth, where do I need to send the payment?

Barry, I now this may put you in a bad situation with the 3fcc so if you need a little more money for doing this for me I will see what I can do.
Sincerely,

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:13 pm

NP Ambush

I like that last little part how you said you can give him more $$. now run him circles about his payment.

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:19 pm

@thefife: Hey, my company () specializes solely in whelk-drilling around oil rigs. Our margins are super-low as it's a high overhead operation, plus I don't know what whelk-drilling really means. The mugus, especially Nigerians, seem to like that I am a "chief engineer" working with oil companies.

Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:38 pm

^^ It's been my experience that the more vague an industrial term the more cold-blooded rich the people with titles such as Chief Engr. are. Laughing

"kak shoveler" Joined: 20 Dec 2007 Posts: 243

The common name Wh3lk is used in English-speaking countries for several very different kinds of large, usually edible, sea snails. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whelk Laughing

@thefife, I was thinking about mabye using the WU M5TN system. The one with all those little squares. But first I figured that once the 3fcc contacts me and assures I will not be arrested that I will run out and send the money to B4rry's assistant. Then when B4rry ask me I will say its already taken care of. That is if the 3fcc contacts me first.

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:47 am

Tom & Dan are mad at me. Crying or Very sad

Who knew they would get all up in arms over such a small trophy sheesh. Makes me wonder how they will react to the banner I want them to do. Rolling Eyes

I hate it when a mugu doesn't want to get pain, I mean paid. Evil or Very Mad

From Tom to All3n

Quote:

All3n Sh04re

I am the head and they have accepted to work what i told them about,so once you are the head you have every power to ask anyone what to do,i have told you that the diamond will be rescuered.

Tom

All3n to Tom

Quote:

Dear Mr. Si4n4,

Thank you for that enlightening bit of information.

I still need from you the list I described earlier. The sooner you
provide the list with the handwritten signatures, the sooner
I can get you the $10, 000.00 (Ten Thousand Dollars).

Your prompt cooperation is most appreciated.

Sincerely,

All3n Sh04re
Claims Agent, F1f3 & Affiliates
Rare & Precious Stones Department
A Division of R3TA3

And their emails to my main character as if this is all her fault.

Quote:

Guch33y B4ggs

This is people are my men so they work om my instructions they dont need to do any paper work,if you guy dont want me to get the diamonds you let me know because it was Dan that asked me to help out.

Tom

Quote:

Guch33y

I talked with Tom right now and he said he knows what to do,those men are his men,you know once you are a head in any organisation in African you are the head,so he has perfected everything to do his work,let the insurance company hand over the money to him.

Dan

"kak shoveler" Joined: 20 Dec 2007 Posts: 243

^^^you have them going good.

The 3fcc sent me this:

Quote:

Your lawyer talked to us,he said he will be representing you,we are waiting.

This from B4rry one minute later:

Quote:

have talked with them,they promised that as soon as i start work that they will noy give go ahead order to the fbi,cia and the new scotland yard.

This is how to send the $1500,it will be sent through w3strn uni0n or m0neyGr4m

NAME: TH0MP50N 4T0MB4
ADDRESS: L4GOS N1GER1A

I ma waiting

I replied to the 3fcc:

Quote:

I am on the way to w3stern union to Pay B4rry's legal fee of $1500.00. His legal assistant contacted me with the payment information earlier and I am leaving now to send it.

Of coarse I ran out the door to send B4rry's legal assitant the money. I didn't reply to B4rry's email and won't until tommorrow. Thats when he will find out his dollar was choped and I will also want to know who this Thom4s guy is. Twisted Evil

I do need the name of that legal assistant if someone can be so kind as to PM me that information.

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 4:14 am

Sheesh, the way you guys are running them in circles, it's no wonder I get an email like this from the new Barrister the 3fcc recommended I contract with:

Quote:

I am yet to receive anything from the efcc

John

I mean, how lame can you get? He's telling me: "Your move".
I've already petitioned the 3fcc for all the documents relating to the case- can't they get those 'shopped and printed?
They are in the UK (I'm pretty sure), and not some rat-ass cafe in Lagos, how long can that take?
(OK, it's only been 1 day). /rant over

I told him that the clock starts running when we get something to work with from the 3fcc, and my office admin sent him a nice expense form with all kinds of things he can expense to our law firm, spelling out hourly rates , hotel, mileage, etc.

*sigh*
I'll probably have to do something in Powerpoint
Rolling Eyes

Posted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 8:57 am

if these muppets are in the UK, is there no potential sting to be had here? doubtful they are in a net cafe as they are online most of the day?

i know the police don't really give a shit, but wouldn't the ISP do anything?

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