Safari time! - Well, it was fun while it lasted

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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:50 pm

Quote:

Darling, you've come so far to be with me! Don't give up now!! I would be devastated if you gave up!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! LOL_sign

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:56 pm

Hey, I am following the time with this site http://www.worldtimeserver.com/current_time_in_BJ.aspx which says it is now 6:48PM. It's nice to know what time it is..... and darkness fell across theland like hammer on an anvil, concluding yet another day of misery and unhappiness for our mugus....

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:02 pm

Personally I use this:
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/distances.html?n=4

Which is a superb all round tool for safari.
Giving you distances, current time, weather conditions etc etc etc..

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:09 pm

Well, my lad twigged. He did go all the way to the Park, though, first... sorry we couldn't set these fellows up for a few cold drinks by the pool at Mejestic....

I look forward to watching your lads travel a bit more, Juan!

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:31 pm

Too bad he twigged, but you sure screwed him over big-time before he threw in the towel! Very Happy

If he's not going to show up and instigate a brawl, I think I'll tell my lad the van did finally get to Parakou, and did pick up Mr. Chin3du, but the driver couldn't find Jim or K3lvin so he had to leave to get back to camp.

Normally I email my lad around midnight, his time. I think I'll skip tonight and see what he says in the morning. Then I can tell him that I didn't have a chance to write an email because I was a bit tied up having wild sex with Chin3du, who was so handsome that it was lust at first sight. My lad is acting jealous of Reginald, I think it will upset him far more when I'm involved with his nemesis. Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:13 pm

Juan, see iff you can't get him to go to the park. Keep him moving north. He goes to Natitingou. Nothing there. He packs up and goes to the park. No Simb@ $@fari �amp.....

Man, I want to read more of your lads. I miss Hendick already. Alas, we hardly knew him...

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:15 pm

Juan, see iff you can't get him to go to the park. Keep him moving north. He goes to Natitingou. Nothing there. He packs up and goes to the park. No Simb@ $@fari �amp.....

Man, I want to read more of your lads. I miss Hendick already. Alas, we hardly knew him...

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:15 pm

Accidental triple post! Please delete!

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:16 pm

Juan, see iff you can't get him to go to the park. Keep him moving north. He goes to Natitingou. Nothing there. He packs up and goes to the park. No Simb@ $@fari �amp.....

Man, I want to read more of your lads. I miss Hendick already. Alas, we hardly knew him...

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:16 pm

sorry, triple posting hiccups. Mods please delete.

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:14 pm

Well, it looks like Jimbo and K3lvin have given up, dammit. Sad

Jim wrote:

I am so disappointed by both you and the Rhodes, if only i has known this is what all these will result into, i would have asked you to stay back in Seattle.

I travelled miles to find you, only for me to be disappointed on several occassions. I thought you said you loved me, you also said you will do anything for me. I felt heartbreak again, now all our plans can not be carried out, instead you have decided to dump me so you can flirt with Reginald a driver in the camp.
This is very very weird, if i had known you would let me down, i would not have in anyway fall in love with you. My eyes are soaked with tears, and you are in the camp enjoying nature with Reginald.

kelvin and I regret this trip, why would this kind of thing happen to me? [Because you're a low-life scamming pile of manure who deserves far worse than this, that's why.] Now who will you give all the love and presents you have for me? [Eyes still on the prize!] Will you give them to Reginald? If you loved me and will do anything for me, you have to come down to Nigeria to meet me, i believe you will find peace and Joy here.

a few minutes later, Jim wrote:

We just have to go back, we dont have more money to pay for the hotel fee there in Parakou, moreover no money to feed. Do you want us to starve? I am already in Nigeria, i will appreciate it if you can come down, i dont think i can make it to the camp, its just too terrific for us/
Please come down,
I love you,

a few minutes after that Jim wrote:

Honey please understand me,

I was have little money left with me, if i had not gone back, i would have used it for hotel bill and also feeding, then i will be stranded again, try understand me, i did not hate you,
if i dont want to see you, i would not have asked you to come to Africa.

and a few minutes later Jim wrote:

I am so sorry i had to go back yesterday evening when i waited for the van till 5:00pm and it did not arrive, we were short of cash, let me know if you will be coming here to meet me so i can take good care of you before we leave for states.
I wish you would hear me,
Let me know when you will be coming so i and Kelvin can pick you up

I'm online with him right now, sobbing at the keyboard and laying a world-class guilt trip on him. After all, he turned tail because the van wasn't there at 5, well it got there at 6. Would it have killed him to wait one more hour, after all I've gone through to get to the camp? Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:19 pm

Juan! I think you really need to draw some boundaries with these two. You need to let them know how hurt you are, and how much you have been waiting for them. Tell them they need to come back, and that you will, personally, cover ALL of their expenses. Tell them that another guy named Ben Hendr/ich just got here and you heard him mention them....

These guys need to travel some more, see more of the world.....

Excellent bait!

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:23 pm

Amazing how they're still holding onto that glimmer of hope that you'd come to Nigeria. Dayam son, you're good!

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:45 pm

Nice work, Juan. i sure hope they can rustle up the gumption to make a second trip. Tip up your pith helmet, so we can all see your smiling face.
hehehe Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:18 pm

There's good news on the horizon. I just got off a lengthy chat session with him. It was pretty hilarious, a really emotional roller coaster for him as I cried (metaphorically, anyway! Very Happy

), accused, acted hurt, blamed him, etc. etc. Here's a small sample (my typos are deliberate, after all I was crying so hard I couldn't see the keyboard): Laughing

Quote:

me: just do it
Jim: I WILL GO
me: just do it
Jim: YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR ME OUT
me: i'm here waitg for you
Jim: YOU SHOUT ON ME
me: i have money when you come
me: i'm not shouting
i'm jsut telling you to come!
Jim: WHEN I TRY TO EXPLAIN TO YOU, YOU SHOUT ON ME
me: iwant you to come!
Jim: I FEEL BAD MORE
me: i'm not shouting!
Jim: I AM A PERFECT GENTLEMAN
I AM SOFTHEARTEDMY HEART IS FRAGILE
me: my heart is fragile too
Jim: IF YOU SHOUT AT ME, YOU ARE SCOLDING ME
I LOVE YOU AND I STILL LOVE YOU
Jim: i just too love you
if you dont believe me, i think i just have to go kill myself right now
well when i commit murder, you will know how serious i love you Shocked

If you really love me, you will not let me commit murder
me: commit murder?? Whwat kind on nocesense is that? don't be stuprid!
that's fuckiang insane!
Jim: but you dont want to believe that i love you
me: if you love me you need to come be with me
me: either you are here sundy or i'm leavening
and I'lal give all the presesnts away
me: id on't need them or want them anywmroe
they remind me of you
Jim: dont give all my presents away

Bring back any unpleasant memories, anyone? Laughing

Anyway, he's broke:

Quote:

KELVIN SPENT ALL HIS SALARY ON ME, AND HE ALSO BORROWED MORE MONEY FOR US TO TRAVEL DOWN HERE
NOW HE IS SHORT OF CASH

I told him to contact Mr. Rhodes and work it out. I think the threat of losing those presents and all that cash is working, I'm sure that at the very least he'll find enough money to get back to Cotonou to miss another shuttle...

EDIT: This just in:

Quote:

MY DEAR SUE,

I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED, I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO MEET YOU AT THE CAMP, I AM GLAD YOU ARE AWARE THAT I WAS DISAPPOINTED TRICE, NOW NEITHER MYSELF NOR KELVIN HAS ANY MONEY TO GET TO THE CAMP TOMORROW.
I STRONGLY ADVISE THAT YOU HAND OVER THE SUM OF $3,500.00 TO MR RHODES TODAY AND ASK HIM TO SEND IT VIA MONEY GRAM INTERNATIONAL OR WESTERN UNION INTERNATION TO THE DETAILS OF KELVIN BELOW: Evil or Very Mad

<snip>
INSTRUCT HIM TO SEND ME A SCANNED COPY OF THE RECEIPT OF TRANSFER SO KELVIN CAN PICK IT UP TOMORROW MORNING AND WE WILL BE IN THE CAMP BEFORE EVENING.
IF THIS IS NOT DONE, I WIL BE VERY VERY SAD AND MAD AT YOU, AND I WONT BE BLAMED FOR NOT BEING IN THE CAMP TOMORROW EVENING.

ITS LEFT TO YOU TO GIVE THE MONEY TO MR RHODES AND ASK HIM TO SEND IT TODAY.
I LOVE YOU WILL ALL MY LIFE,
JIM.

Sorry, Jimbo, that part's up to you...

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:52 pm

@Juan - There is no way that 5imba safari would be involved in sending a guest's money via WU, so we'll tell Jimbo there is absolutely no chance of that happening. Ever..!!

However, we would be able to take Susan to Cotonou to to hand the cash to Jimbo in person.

Or perhaps one of our safari drivers has a few days leave.
He is a Nigerian and is going home to Kishi. He would be prepared to give Susan a lift and she could stay at his family home until Jimbo comes to meet her...?*

* Alternatively, maybe he isn't a Nigerian, maybe he is Beninois, and lives in Abomey.....

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:14 pm

Just checked the 5imba Email box and I have 3 messages from Jimbo...

Quote:

I am writing to let you know that i and my friend Kelvin has just arrived Nigeria some minutes ago. The experience we had in the past seven days was a God forsaken one, due to the fact that your shuttle almost made us homeless and stranded in the Federal Republic of Benin.

I am sure you would consider to hear me out, I am a Newyorker stranded in Nigeria, i met Kelvin my friend and helper in Nigeria, Mrs Susan Percxxe is my friend in United States, she has come to Africa to take me back to the United States, she asked me to come to the camp with the aid of my friend Kelvin.

Kelvin works with the hotel where i lodged in Nigeria, he does not earn that much, but he has been taking good care of me. We both set out for Cotonou to meet Mrs Susan in the camp, Kelvin combined his little salary together with the money he borrowed from his friend which he has to pay back.

We arrived Cotonou with the sum of $2300.00 hoping to meet Mrs Susan, Firstly, your shuttle was supposed to pick us at the Airport on the 4th of Jan, we did not find any shuttle, we had to lodge into a hotel in town, later on, you rescheduled the pick up for 8th of Jan at Novotel, i was told again that the shutlle had flat tyres and could not make it to Novotel and lastly i was asked to travel about 380km North to Parakou which i deligently obeyed, i did not find a room in Le Majestic Hotel, i had to lodge in Le Canaris Hotel there in Parakou unfortunately, we still could not find your shuttle.

We were short of cash, we had to travel back to Nigeria. All this expenses turned out to be $1300.00, i have put Kelvin in a kinda big debt, unless you reimburse us, he will be able to pay back.

All this travelling was hectic, we were so disappointed and turned back home.
Please let me know how you intend to pay back upon your promise.

Quote:

Who is Mister Chinedu? i dont think i know any one by that name.

Quote:

MRS SUSAN WILL HAND OVER THE SUM OF $3500.00 TO YOU TODAY, YOU ARE TO SEND IT TO THE DETAILS BELOW VIA MONEYGRAM INTERNATIONAL OR WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER

NAME: KELVIN IFEANYI
LOCATION: LAGOS - NIGERIA

AS SOON AS THE TRANSFER IS MADE, SEND ME A SCANNED COPY OF THE RECEIPT OF TRANSFER SO KELVIN CAN PICK IT UP TOMORROW MORNING AND WE WILL BE IN THE CAMP BEFORE EVENING.

I AM SURE THIS WILL INTEREST YOU

@Juan - I will not respond until I have had a chat with yourself and agreed a strategy.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:50 pm

Quote:

I am a Newyorker stranded in Nigeria

Well thats easy enough, do you have a 'contact' at the US Embassy to help him Laughing

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:52 pm

@VP - Actually thats a very good idea.
The US embassy is in Abuja isn't it...?? Wink

Perhaps they could handle the $3,500 to ensure that it is handed directly to a stranded US citizen.. Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 23 Dec 2007 Posts: 128

Would he so bold as to go to the American embassy and pretend to be an American citizen in order to collect the 3 and a half grand?

I guess the amount of money they demand is BS.

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:05 pm

@Last
We do not involve any REAL embassys, it would only be someone to meet him ... it is just name dropping Very Happy

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 10:42 pm

^^^Exactly, long trenchcoat, dark glasses, brown envelope full of cash and a shady diplomat... Cool

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 11:11 pm

I had to leave my office for a few hours, I just got back and caught up with this. I also got an email from Jim in response to mine saying that I didn't feel comfortable asking Mr. Rhodes to send WU payments for me, after all he's not my banker or my servant. I also reminded him that the last time I sent money it was chopped and he said not to send any more money. For some reason he seems to think it would be safer with Mr. Rhodes. Rolling Eyes

He must be a misogynist.

@Simba: I've already told him I might try to ride the shuttle to either Cotonou or Paragou to meet him. The Nigerian pickup is not a bad idea either, as long as it's a reasonable distance. I really want him to get stranded, so I'd love to get him to Paragou if at all possible. For the WU payment, just tell him the camp cannot take such an enormous responsibiility, it's utterly against policy (or however else you want to put it).

I can't believe he claims to have spent $2300. Rolling Eyes

I looked at the rates in the Majestic, the top was around $60 IIRC. The bus from Cotonou to Paragou was also quite cheap. I can believe he spent $230 but not $2300!

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 11:36 pm

@ Juan - Well don't forget that he still expects 5imba safari to reimburse him all of the money that he has so far spent...

Quote:

Please let me know how you intend to pay back upon your promise.

I am looking forward to seeing each and every receipt that he can produce to back up a claim for $2,300.00..... Laughing

I'll reply with whatever you want me to reply with.
If you fancy the 'driver on leave' modality, its entirely your call as to where the driver lives.

Actually I'd be tempted to give Jimbo a choice of safari destination at this point.
The 5imba shuttle bus can take Susan back to either Parakou or Natatingou.
Alternatively, the driver, Reginald (?) can take you to his home either somewhere in the North of Nigeria, or somewhere obscure in Benin.

NIGERIA MAP
http://www.iss.co.za/AF/profiles/Nigeria/nigeriaT.gif

BENIN MAP
http://www.ccafrica.ca/country/benin/map_relief.jpg

Personally, I always think its good to get a mugu crossing international borders, and of course its easier to confirm their IP location too.....

Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 11:41 pm

Hahahahahaha! Juan! I am so glad to see your bois are giving another go.... Thumbs up

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