Dag Nasty... Henndick, parting is such sorrow....

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

"kak shoveler" Joined: 20 Dec 2007 Posts: 243

You definately have him worried about that cuban. This is just too funny Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:02 pm

Quote:

I am sorry that you have encountered a delay on your journey to Parakou.
Unfortunately you arrived long after the shuttle bus had already left on
its daily run to the 5imba Safari Camp, and as you failed to confirm
that your were indeed en-route to Parakou, our driver/guide had no good
reason to delay his departure.

Under the circumstances, we would advise you to check into a hotel for
tonight in Parakou, as fortunately we do have a 5imba shuttle bus
service collecting two guests tomorrow from Parakou.
Once again I remind you that 5imba shuttle bus collection will depart at
4pm local time outside of The Majestic Hotel, Parakou.
Of course I must remind you, that the 5imba safari group will hold good
its promise of reimbursement for all of your unexpected travel and
accommodation expenses.

Thank you very much for your continued understanding in this matter

Master Baiter Joined: 05 Sep 2006 Posts: 170

@Simba:

:nodo:

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:12 pm

Hey Doc, no fair! I think your safari lad is more fun than mine! Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:41 pm

Juan: Well, he is a bucket of chuckles, but yours is a barrel of laughs!

Simba: He is asking me now for directions! Any directions I can use?

Doc

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:28 pm

Simba: I suggest you give him complicated instructions up to the park, then tell him some roads that don't exist, and give him your UK phone. If he goes, more miles. Most likely, as the driver from Cotonou is not going to want to drive any further (HAHAHAHAHAHA), he will stay and wait. If he stays and waits for 4, he may meet Juans pet in the lobby, and then let the fun begin! Either way, he is good for another night! We may be able to stretch this thing, too, for another few days..... Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:44 pm

@Doc - I emailed him just over an hour & half ago saying that we would pick up his hotel bill and collect him tomorrow afternoon at 4pm.

Haven't had a reply from him, but that doesn't really surprise me as its about midnight in Benin right now... Very Happy

See if he contacts me in the morning and whether he would prefer to wait until 4pm, or if he fancies having a wander about on him own earlier in the day... Laughing

By the way I have 2 recorded messages from Hendick, when Homer comes along perhaps he'll help me to post them.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:59 pm

I believe that Homer is about to give a phone call to Hen dick! Lucky lad is going to get woken up!

Thank you, Homer! Thumbs up

I look forward to seeing the results here!

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 11:38 pm

I'm guessing all mobile phones in Benin are relics from the Spanish-American war. Be sure to note that the customer service representative tried to reach him late last night, but that the service was not exactly the bees' knees.

http://media.putfile.com/cheap-ass-phone-81

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 11:52 pm

Sounds like at least you woke him up! Hahahaha!

Thanks!

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 5:21 am

Simba and Juan. Maybe we wait until 2 PM, and then send emails to the two saying the pickup is now in Natitingou at the Hotel Tata Somba. This is much closer to the park, and by the time they arrive, well, dang, they will have missed the shuttle again, giving us an extra night for them, plus more miles, maybe soome feathers for the pith helmets.

Then the next day we tell them to go to the Hotel Campement de la Pendjari, where the boat will meet them..... and at this point, the jig is up, and we can all stop answering emails.....

Do you think this might work? I like the idea of them moving a bit further, though they may be completely broke, already. Most certainly they will be after they arrive in Pendjari! Hahaaha!

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:06 am

@ Doc - Check out the other safari thread, Juan's one ( Rolling Eyes

)

It really does look as though all three mugus are now in Parakou and will be waiting for the same 5imba shuttle bus collection this afternoon.... Laughing

The two safaris merge into Juan.... Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 11:21 am

@ Doc & Juan.

Well there is some good news and some bad news.
The bad news is that not all of the mugus are still in Parakou.... Crying or Very sad

The good news is that I just got this marvellous Email from Hendick.... Very Happy

Quote:

Attn:5imba safari group ltd ,

I slept out side yesterday no food nothing nothing,and I went to the Town Natitingou and asked from the filling station that face the ECOBAN Natitingou but none of them can describe the camp.

please,I will like you to be clear to me which fuel filling station in Natitingou.I did not lodge in any htel yesternight because I don't have money.please indicate correctly the filling station from where I can ask of the camp.

This morning I and the driver that took me from Cotonou went round all the Hotel in Natitingou and the surrounding to but without success.because no one in Natitigou knows the 5IMBA SAFARI CAMP,at all.

Please I am presently at Tanguieta 48km from Natitingou,I will be please if you can get me out of this miseries and the driver is planning to report me to the police here in the Town,I will not like this.Bernie Rhode instructed me from Cotonou to hire a car down to Parakou I did now am in great problems.please no fuel in the care that I hired to move get me out of this mess without delay

It seems as though he actually took a taxi across country in the middle of the night to find that filling station, and has now travelled even further North in search of the 5imba safari camp.... Shocked

I don't know what to do at this point because I am totally dumbstruck after such a wonderful Email from Hendick.

Should I tell him to go back to Parakou and wait for the 4pm shuttle bus with Jimbo & K3lvin..?????
I dont really know where else I can send him.. Confused

??

So to recap.
This mugu has travelled from Togo to Cotonou, hired a car to Parakou, then continued onwards to Natatingou and has now pushed on another 50k North to Tanguieta, which isnt even shown on the map...!!
The car has run out of fuel, the mugu has run of out money, and the driver has run out of patience..... Laughing

I absolutely have to offer him a 10% discount on his next 5imba Safari.... Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 1:42 pm

Hahahahahahaa! I got the same email!

Um, well, there is yet one more place for our lad to go:

Quote:

Hi Hendick,
Why aren't you here? You are so close! I just got this. I wasn't expecting you until this evening, so I went for a ride with Raul on some horses. We saw so many birds, and a lot of plants. Raul is a botanist and ornithologist. He is very smart, and doo handsome. You will really like him.
Okay, look, according to Raul, what you need to do is find the Hotel Campement de Pendjari. It is in the Park. I was just there yesterday, and from there you catch the boat to the Simba camp. That is a nice trip, because you can also come in by road, but it takes longer. This place is sooooooooo wonderful, Hendick, you will LOVE it! The food is amazing! My bed is huge, and so comfortable! Get your car up to the hotel, and from there you are only about 15 minutes by boat.
If you can't find it, then just go back to Parakou and wait for the shuttle. If your driver is an idiot, and it sounds like he is a real asshole, then that may be the best thing. I heard from Raul that there are more people coming to the camp today.
If only you had met me at the airport yesterday. You have really disappointed me. I hope you will be more considerate in the future.
I have to go. Be here tonight, please, okay? Don't fuck this up! I am still very nervous with all of this money, and I want you to get here so I can give it to you safely.
All of my love, to you,

Connie

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 1:45 pm

@Doc - LOL...I only just this moment sent the following Email to him... Laughing

He is going to explode..... Laughing

Quote:

Dear Mister Hendrxxh,

Please explain to me what on Earth you are now doing in Natitingou?

Yesterday, you were advised by my wife that we were arranging a shuttle
bus collection especially for you from The Majestic Hotel in Parakou.
The shuttle bus has already departed to Parakou to collect you,
and we also have another guest waiting patiently to be collected as
planned.
A Mister Jim Calkxxs, who has travelled from Nigeria to meet his family.

Now you inform us that you are stranded without money or fuel in
Natitingou, but I am bewildered as to how you have arrived there in the
first place.

Mister Hendrich, I am a very patient and tolerant man, but even my
limits are being pushed by your level of tomfoolery.

It would be most appreciated if you would adhere to the original
schedule of meeting the 5imba shuttle bus.
Once again I remind you that the 5imba shuttle bus collection will
depart from outside of The Majestic Hotel, Parakou.
However, our driver will be instructed to wait for your arrival from
Natitingou before he departs on the journey to the 5imba safari camp.

It would be perfect you could introduce yourself to Mister Calkxx and
wait together as planned at the Majestic Hotel, Parakou.

Thank you very much for your co-operation in this matter
Best regards,

Bernie Rhodxx
Operations Manager - 5imba Safari Group Ltd

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 1:57 pm

Hahahahaha! He is soooooo close to the camp, hahahahaha, and sooooo far from Parakou, hahahahhahaaha!! He might go back, but will, of course, miss the bus, so will have to go, again, tp Natitingou, where he is told to go to the Campement Pendjari in the camp in the park (it costs some money to get in the park).

Then, of course, he is broke...... maybe even he is going to jail! Bwahahahahahahaah! Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:06 pm

@Doc - This is all turning out far better than planned, better than I could have hoped for.... Laughing

Dontcha just love safari baiting.... Very Happy

I wish I knew the name of Juan's Dolla choppa. I would love to tip off Jimbo that the other guest to be collected is none other his hated rival.... Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:12 pm

I lucked out getting this guy. I knew within two emails from him he was going to travel. I even pushed it to see if he would twig early on, but he wrote soooo many emails, offering his undying love.... that a safari was in order. I am only sorry I didn't send him to Cameroon.....

Eater wil be down later, so of you get something, email it to me, and vice versa, so we are on the same page.

Am laughing my ass off in a spiteful way this morning, feeling like a top notch swashbuckling internet vigilante...

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 2:15 pm

@ Doc - Oh this guy definately needs to be stored in the little black book.
Give him a little time to get back on his feet and then its safari time again... Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:50 pm

Fabulous! This is just great.

I loved this line, Doc:

Quote:

If only you had met me at the airport yesterday. You have really disappointed me. I hope you will be more considerate in the future.

Nothing like reminding the lad it's all his fault. Of course, Simba really rubbed salt in the wound afterward!

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:01 pm

Its getting lively again..
Just received from Hendick:

Quote:

I wuill respect your instruction and order but from here natitingou to parakou is 276km but it's 4:45pm now,did you think the driver will wait for me at Le majestic Hotel for more 5-6hours ,pls consider my calculation am not a fool or block-headed person,it's circumstances that make it to be so.

we shall meet and you will understand the difficilties I passed through since the journey from Cotonou.

If only I can get him to journey back to Parakou, and get Jimbo to stay put.... Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:10 pm

Quote:

Dear Mister Hendrxxh,

I appreciate that you have travelled a long way from the agreed collection point and that it will take you some hours to return to Parakou.
Therefore, I have personally intructed our driver to offer the other guests dinner in the resturant at Parakou until you arrive for collection later this evening.

We are very disappointed in the way that your journey has been disrupted however, I am sure that you will appreciate that you are equally at fault.

That being said, 5imba safari group takes great pride in its customer care, and I can assure you that we will endeavour to have a vehicle in waiting in Parakou for you to be transferred to the 5imba safari camp.
Please be so kind as to advise what time you would expect to arrive in Parakou tonight.

Thank you very much for your co-operation in this matter
Best regards,

Bernie Rhoxxs
Operations Manager - 5imba Safari Group Ltd

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:28 pm

Well, our laddie is maybe on his way back to Parakou, hahahaha, which is going to earn him a slap!

Quote:

Hi HONEY,

It's with the grace of God that I was not locked to the police post yesternight by the driver because of his ransportation fare from Cotonou to Parakou and I explain to Bernie Rhode before I took the care hire to pay on arrival,HONEY to enter into into the campment pendjari gate fees is 5,000frs CFA as said and the fuel in the car can not move from here(Tanguieta)to entry of the campment pendjari(Gbatia).

And the driver don't have dime with him to buy fuel to the car,to go back to Parakou from here too there is not fuel back,HONEY I LOVE and will like to be with you tonight,I went to the Le Majestic Hotel yesternigth the receiptionist there said no guest left Le majestic hotel to 5imba 5afari camp,that she don't have any ideal about what I said about the 5imba 5afari passengers from Le majestic hotel and she insulted me and as a stranger here Benin I don't have any authentic proof of requesting for her help to stay.

Please inform Bernie Rhode that am an intellectual and a bit civilised he should stop insulting me like a kid.I am here with nothing and I explained this to him but the solution from him is to insult .please my being there supposed to be the solution not his insult.am here as stranger and have no aid.

I will try to come with the driver and anyone that promise to assist us financial so that they will trust to assist me financialy to join you there why we pay the money.

The problem I have here can not stop me to be warning you with your relationship with Raul or whosoever.please bear my feelings am nervously struggling to meet you HONEY.I will go back to Parakou to join the shuttle bus if there is means or proceed as you explained to proceed from here to the pendjari campment to join boat and meet you at the 5imba camp.

HONEY,I am weeping bitterly because since the beginning of my life I've never experience such situation but I am not regretting because I am ready to do anything to make you happy,HONEY you merit it and I will do my best to join you than to get arrested to the police post here or die without seeing you .

Your HONEY.

kisses

Either way he does it, goes back to Parakou or further on to Campamente Pendejo, he is well and truly faaaaaaaaahked!

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:55 pm

dr stephen williams wrote:

Please inform Bernie Rhode that am an intellectual and a bit civilised

Wonderful...!!!!
How civilised he can remain is open for debate... Laughing

Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:55 pm

Got to run, but sent this off to my little boi:

Quote:

Hi Hendick,
I am sooooo sorry this is happening. Your poor man! Why didn't you just meet me at tha airport? This is getting too complicated now. I am not sure why you don't just come here and be with me.
Where are you now? Are you still going to the Hotel Campement de Pendjari? Our place is only about 15 miles up river from there, and you should be able to catch a ride easily.
Anyway, Raul wants to take me to this hill to watch the sunset, and we are loading up a small picnic basket and a blanket to sit on. He is really treating me very nice, but I am waiting for you.
Oh, they gave me pills, so I am not pissing out my ass anymore. I have solid shit. It looks like refried beans! I am so happy! The loose stools were very messy, and noisy, and they smelled bad.
I hope you can get it together to be here soon. I am waiting for you. My safari is flying by, and you still aren't here! Luckily I have Raul to keep me company. You are really going to like him!
Anyway, it is a walk to go, and we need to leave soon, so I will be back to check later and see where you are.
I love you, honey! I am soooooooo excited to have you in my big bed, and to help you recover from this awful trip you have had to endure.
All of my love, to you,

Connie

Dag Nasty... Henndick, parting is such sorrow....	View next topic View previous topic