Dag Nasty... Henndick, parting is such sorrow....

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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:48 am

I figure if we give him enough time, he might just carry out his instructions and catch-a-cab up to Parakou, which I believe is about a 5-7 hour drive from Cotonou... Laughing

Quote:

Dear Mister Hendxxxh,

As requested, please find the contact information for the shuttle bus
collection location to take guests from Parakou to the 5imba 5afari Camp - Benin.

T�l�phone : (229) 23 61 34 85
Fax : (229) 23 61 19 22
Le Majestic Hotel
Quartier Kp�bi� BP:1254 Parakou
R�p.du B�nin
http://www.lemajestichotel.com/index.htm

We would strongly suggest that you hire a bush taxi to bring you to Parakou
as soon as possible, which is an easy drive on a very good road by Benin
standards.
Of course all of your travel expenses will be met in
full by 5imba 5afari Group Ltd, so please do ask your bush taxi driver for a
receipt.
We will also make the generous offer of a complimentary bottle of
chilled champagne upon your arrival at the Simba camp.

We very much look forward to warmly welcoming you to the 5imba 5afari
Camp, and once again offer our sincerest apologies for any inconvenience
to yourself.
Please do also remember that 5imba 5afari Group will gladly reimburse
all of your unexpected expenses for travel in full.
Best regards

EDIT: - I just discovered that there is a train which runs from Cotonou to Parakou.... Twisted Evil

Quote:

There is a train route that goes halfway up the country, from Cotonou to Parakou. While it takes longer than a bush taxi, it's a much more relaxing way of traveling. First class tickets are only slightly more than second class ones and are worth the extra expenditure. The train leaves Cotonou three times a week (Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday) at 8 am precisely and returns the next day, leaving at 8 am from the Parakou train station

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 11:18 am

Oh he is getting all confuddled, but at least he does seem to understand that he must take a taxi to Parakou.... Very Happy

Quote:

I called Le Majestic Hotel T�l�phone : (229) 23 61 34 85,number and explain to the receptionist but she said that our reservation CONNIE O'COxxOR for room 10 is not in le majestic Hotel,kindly call the majestic hotel and reply me before I commit myself by chartering a car to Parakou,am afraid the present conditions of my HONEY.please the receptionist told me that the convovoy with air Maroc to your camp will reach Parakou by 1pm.is that true?

please call me on 21335034 so as to confirm my departure by car hire C/P because am afraid of this country,because I was robbed on my arrival to Banin yesterday that's why I and my HONEY missed bothselves.I will not be pleased to have another problem with this Beninois people,please call me urgently.

I cannt reach my HONEY but she sent me messages that weaking my mind,kindly rectify this in a short period.for the sake of my HONEY

5imba customer services, try to give him a helping hand..... Wink

Quote:

I am sorry, we seem to have a misunderstanding.

The Majestic Hotel is simply a convenient place for us to collect our
guests in our shuttle bus service, because it is the best and most well
known Hotel in Parakou.

Of course some of our guests do choose to stay overnight at the Majestic
before they transfer to the 5imba Safari Camp, but in no way are the two
establishments connected.

The receptionist that you spoke with is correct, we do have an incoming
flight from Air Maroc today, and our guests that travelled on this
flight will be taken to the resturant for a meal before their transfer
to the 5imba Safari Camp.

Our shuttle bus service will collect all guests outside of
the Majestic Hotel, Parakou at 4:00pm local time and then transfer them
to the 5imba safari camp.

We would strongly suggest that you hire a taxi to bring you to Parakou
as soon as possible, so that you can connect with the shuttle bus
transfer this afternoon.
May I remind you that all of your travel expenses will be met in
full by 5imba Safari Group Ltd, so please do not worry about this.

I have tried to phone you on the number that you gave me, but
unfortunately I was unable to connect. It seems as though you may have a fault on the line.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 1:36 pm

Looks like our mugu has had a bad experience, awwwwwww Twisted Evil

Quote:

ATTN:5imba 5afari group ltd ,

I called Le Majestic Hotel T�l�phone : (229) 23 61 34 85,number and explain to the receptionist but she said that our reservation CONNIE O'CONNOR for room 10 is not in le majestic Hotel,kindly call the majestic hotel and reply me before I commit myself by chartering a car to Parakou,am afraid the present conditions of my HONEY.please the receptionist told me that the convovoy with air Maroc to your camp will reach Parakou by 1pm.is that true?

please call me on 21335034 so as to confirm my departure by car hire C/P because am afraid of this country,because I was robbed on my arrival to Banin yesterday that's why I and my HONEY missed bothselves.I will not be pleased to have another problem with this Beninois people,please call me urgently.

I cannt reach my HONEY but she sent me messages that weaking my mind,kindly rectify this in a short period.for the sake of my HONEY.

MR HENDRICH BENSON.

Well, 7 emails from this guy, so I responded to the one without a phone number, which apologizes for not being there:

Quote:

Hi Hendrich,
Thank you for trying to be here! Our suite is so nice! The bed is huge! I could put three or four people in it! The suite is great, and the camp is soooooooooo beautiful! You are going to LOVE it, LOVE it!
I might have had something bad to eat while I was waiting for you in Cotonou. My stomach is bad and I have a terrible case of the runs. I have been pissing out of my asshole all morning, and vomiting. I took some pills, and it has stopped, but I have smelly little sulfur burps.
Well, one other bit of bad news. I am having my special womens time, my sacred moon, so the 72 hours thing is going to be a bit messy for you, but I don't mind. You still have lots of work to do, big man! I bought a new hairbrush, if you don't want me.
It's 2 in the afternoon, and I am being treated like a queen, except my king isn't here. Get here so you can make my day better, and I can make your day purrrrrrrrfect!
I hope you make it soon as I am lonely, and all of this money scares me. I want you to take it and keep it safe for us.
I am going horse back riding with Raul, who is from Cuba, but will be back later. He is handsome ane very charming, and I think he likes me! But do not worry, I belong to you!
THank you for writing me! You make me sooooooooooo happy! I can't wait for you to arrive here!
I love you!
All of my love, to you,
Kissies,

Connie

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 1:53 pm

@Doc - He has been busy on the keyboard this morning because I have 5 Emails from him too.

Nothing recieved in the past 3 hours now though, so it would be nice to imagine that he is somewhere en-route to Parakou.... Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 1:54 pm

Hey, Simba, saw you out there, and wanted to publicly thank you for this pith helmet generating modality! Onya! Thumbs up

Off to do some work, need to write about 2000 words today, ugh. But my morning is sooooooooo good! Will be in and out all day to see what happens. He may be traveling north now, so we should think of problem whereby she has had to leave the facility....

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 2:00 pm

Obviously he'll never reach Parakou in time to catch the 4pm shuttle bus, so he can either stay overnight in Parakou or take another taxi all the way to Natatingou.

dr stephen williams wrote:

we should think of problem whereby she has had to leave the facility....

Its already in hand.... Wink

Its all very nice and romantic having those candles around camp, but not very practical with so much canvas. We could very easily have a fire if we aren't cafeful.
If that happened, well, we would just have to find alternative accommodation for the 5imba guests. Probably in Burkina.... Wink

dr stephen williams wrote:

Hey, Simba, saw you out there, and wanted to publicly thank you for this pith helmet generating modality! Onya!

Its my great pleasure to assist in nailing a safari with my comrades, and I am chuffed that the modality is working so well and generating lots of laughs... Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 3:53 pm

I've been so wrapped with my lad I missed this until now. Good one, Doc! Very Happy

I love how insanely jealous your lad is! I think we need to get your lad and mine together to share a taxi to Parakou. Wink

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 3:56 pm

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

I think we need to get your lad and mine together to share a taxi to Parakou. Wink

Is there any possible way that we could convince Jimbo that Doc's mugu is the infamous dolla choppa...?? Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:37 pm

Set it up. Tell my lad that the other lad is his contact, and tell the other ad that my lad is his dolla choppa! Someone will get hurt....

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:40 pm

Just drop me a PM if you need a phone call made. Hopefully, this lad's phone is better than the other one's.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:41 pm

Oh, yeah, this is one of the seven emails I got that is worth sharing....

Quote:

Hi HONEY?

I swear with the LOVE I reserved for you that I was at the Benin airport before the arrival time of the flight and left when the staff told me that there is no more passenger in the arrival hall.

HONEY tell the Hotel reception to call 21335034 this number it's in Cotonou capital sity of Benin.am here stranded because I reached Benin by 1:45am and arrived at the international airport Benin exactly 2am and was disturbed by bandits,they ran with my wallet in which there is my passport and few transport with me,I will send a message to the camp too to see if they can arrange transportation for me from Cotonou to Parakou.

HONEY I am sorry for this,it's not my fault. don't bet on it, laddie! It's going to be your fault, all the way!) don't laugh with anyone till my arrival ok and pls don't feel cheated.I saw a white short woman that came to the airport with a luxirous bus that conveyed more passengers but HOMEY I found you among them but did not find you.urgently come to my me with the assistance of the camp favour,am here helpless HONEY.

Your HONEY.KISSES.

Lets set him up to meet your lad, Juan! Simba, let's make this happen! Thumbs up

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:57 pm

@Doc / Juan / Homer - I have not received any correspondence from either of these two mugus since this morning.

If one of them is already on his way to Parakou, then the other one should have time to catch up with him tomorrow, because both of them were told that the 5imba shuttle would leave Parakou at 4pm local time today.

So the simple fact of the matter is that they have both missed it anyway and would need to spend the night in Parakou, awaiting a rescheduled shuttle bus collection tomorrow afternoon.

So lets wait and see if either one of them announces their arrival in Parakou tonight.
5imba safari will offer to cover their bill if they check into the Majestic for the night, and we'll promise a shuttle bus collection tomorrow, outside of the hotel.

As soon as we receive confirmation that one of them has reached Parakou, we can inform him of the other "guest" travelling to Parakou, and suggest that they make each other's aquaintence.... Twisted Evil

PS - I will copy this message onto teh other thread as well.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:06 pm

Well, when he gets to Parakou, he will receive this, to greet him:

Quote:

Hendick,
Well, some safari I am having. I am tired of waiting for you. You left me sitting here like yesterdays garbage.
I had a lovely time with Raul today, riding horses through the jungle, he is soooooo romantic. He is keeping me company until you arrive. He says he is going to stop by the suite after dinner and play guitar and sing some Cuban songs. I like him. (guareteed to make this mugu go crazy)
But don't worry, even though he is really super cute and very handsome, I am waiting for you.
Bernie says he has a bottle of champagne he is giving to us as soon as you arrive. He and Gloria are sooooooo nice. They really make me feel special.
I was told you missed the shuttle from Parakou this evening, and that they will send one tomorrow afternoon, but if you can get to Natitingou (I think that's it), the camp is prety close to there, and everyone knows how to get here. So if you are in a hurry (and you better be), you can get here tomorrow morning!
I am sooooooo horny right now! I am waiting for you. Wait. I'll be right back.
There, that wasn't too long, was it? Tee hee! I had to squirt some more. I have gas, too, and it makes a lot of noise and smells bad. I am shitting coffee with chunks out my asshole. Its not very nice, but I am washing it, to keep it fresh for you.
I love you! See you sooooooon!
Your loving wife,

Connie

Maybe we can get this guy to go to Natitingou..... next.

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:27 pm

Simba wrote:

Is there any possible way that we could convince Jimbo that Doc's mugu is the infamous dolla choppa...??

What's not to love about that brilliant idea? Very Happy

Now to figure out how to make that work...

EDIT: I think I've got it. IF this actually falls into place and both lads get to Parakou at the same time, and IF they both plan to catch the same shuttle, Mrs. Rhodes can simply email my lad and say that the van has reservations for him as well as a Mr. Chin3du. If my lad thinks that this is the same Chin3du who chopped his dolla, he'll go ballistic. Of course Doc's lad will deny it, which will probably only enrage my lad further. I can see some real mayhem in that misunderstanding..... Twisted Evil

(Of course there's no way to plan such a complex safari, but just imagine if Doc and I had used the same name for our characters. Both lads heading to the same camp to see a horny woman of the same name...)

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:39 pm

Hahahaha, nice!!

I wish we could actually see it happen! Simba, try that. And when the bus has further problems, tell them to get them selves to the Post Office in Natitingou, where the supply truck is picking up supplies, by 4 PM, the next day! Hahahahaha!

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:45 pm

@Doc / Juan - If we get these two mugus to meet in Parakou, I think the only mode of transport that they will require will be an ambulance.... Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:49 pm

Or a Police truck, off to free food and lodging!

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:51 pm

And if they both actually stay overnight at the Majestic, expecting 5imba to pay for it, they'll probably end up in the same jail cell for defrauding an innkeeper. Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 6:00 pm

Quote:

I am shitting coffee with chunks out my asshole

I can't stand it! Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 6:05 pm

I doubt they will get credit at the hotel, so most likely will either end up on the street or in some dingy little whorehouse for the night.

Well, I can't help but twist the blade a bit: Twisted Evil

Quote:

Honey,
Where are you? How come you don't write me? Why didn't you show up? Are you playing a game with me?
Are you okay? Have you eaten today? Where are you staying? Are you safe?
I am worried about you. I have to run to dinner with Raul. They had another truck come in with some guests, and I thought you were on it, but you weren't.
Please write to me. I am so worried about you.
I am going to hang out with Raul this evening, but will try to check email again later. If not, please write me and I will find it when I check email tomorrow. They usually don't allow guests to check email so much, but Bernie knows that I am wating for you, and Raul has the keys to the office, so he can let me in. I really lke Raul. He is so charming, and his Spanish accent really sounds sexy.
I am waiting for yuo, my husband.
Please try to get here tomorrow morning, okay. But don't worry about me for tonight. Hahahaha, think he's not worried?
I love you.

Connie

Hen dick hates any penis owner to be near me, and Raul, yumm, is, apparently, quite the item for Connie. Hen dick will be knocking computers off the table at the internet cafe! Hahahaha![/i]

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:45 pm

Well, my mugu is in Parakou:

Quote:

Hi HONEY I will not be happy to see you with any man on my arrival,you better sleep in the room till my arrival,I want you to stop admiring other man,if I do the same thing how would you feel,please I LOVE you am ready in Parakou but waiting for the 5imba 5afari camp to pick me I sent message to Bernie Rhode now waiting for the call and reply.

Your HONEY.

and then:

Quote:

Hi HONEY am now in Parakou but can not locate the fucking 5imba 5afari camp,please get in touch with me the through this XXXXX this is the number of the driver that brought me here from Cotonou and I've not paid him,and before I picked car hire in credit bernie rhode TOLD ME THAT THE fUCKING 5IMBA 5AFARI CAMP WILL TAKE CARE OF ALL THE CHARGES ON MY ARRIVAL?KINDLY CONTACT THE 5IMBA 5AFARI CAMP MANAGEMENT TO CALL THE NUMBER RIGHT NOW AND ARRANGE FOR MY BEING IN THE 5IMBA 5AFARI CAMP WITHOUT DELAY.

HONEY am not not joking am now in Parakou,stranded.don't worry about your period everything will be ok once am there.

Your HONEY.

KISSES.

Hahaha, have to write to cool him off! Homer, you have a PM with the number. Enjoy!

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:57 pm

Well done Doc, this mugu is having a truly wretched time... Laughing

Quote:

Now am in Parakou and went to le majestic hotel ,please contact the 5imba 5afari management to call this number 97577222 to join me and pick me to the 5imba 5afari camp,my wife is not well because of my absence,if you delay any inconviniences delay m�ay cause to the health of my wife will be charged on you.

Am very sorry to say this but you instructed me to pick a car hire from Cotonou to Parakou while I will be connected to the 5imba 5afari camp once in Parakou,please am stranded in Parakou also the car fare is on me and the number belong to the drive that brought me from Cotonou .kindly reply urgent.

I left message on your phone,kindly act before the driver will loss temper

I have 6 missed calls from that mobile number, and he has actually left 2 voicemails as well.
Not sure how to post them but I get that sorted later....

In the meantime I have to send the mugu an Email telling him that he was 4 hours late for the shuttle bus and he will have to spend the night at the Majestic, so that he can catch tomorrow's shuttle bus service. All expenses paid for by 5imba 5afari of course... Very Happy

Master Baiter Joined: 05 Sep 2006 Posts: 170

Oh, this is just absolutely beautiful! If we can only get the two lads together, and let the sparks fly!!!!!! Smile

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:11 pm

I replied:

Quote:

Dear Hendrich,
Don't worry, silly! I love you! I am just having fun with Raul. His name is Raul Vasquez Catbingo Garcia, and he is a warm and gentle young man who is keeping me company. You two are going to get along very well, you will see!
So, Bernie says that there will be another shuttle tomorrow at 4PM with the same pick up point, but that if you can get to Natitingou, the camp is very close and that everyone knows where it is. Ask at the gas station leaving town going north to the camp. Bernie says all their trucks refuel there and you can get good instructions once you reach the gas station.
Maybe your taxi man can get you to the camp tonight! Bernie will pay him back as soon as you arrive. They say that if you leave now you could get here tonight. I would really like that, although I am not so sad because I have Raul with me.
And that is so sweet saying not to worry about my period. Some guys don't like to eat it this time of the month, but I am glad you are willing to! Thank you!
If you can't make it by tomorrow morning, I am going to go bird watching by horse back with Raul to a remote area he likes to take his "special" guests. he is such a suuuuuuper nice man!
Don't you worry your head about Raul, though. This is his job! He gats paid for this, soi I am just using the services I have already paid for.
Anyway, Raul has to close the office, so I have to run. He is going to walk me over to my suite and we will talk a bit before I turn in.
I hope you are doing well! Keep your chin up! Remember, I love you! Thank you for being my husband. Tis is the best trip I have ever had! The food is fantastic! Seee you later or tomorrow! I can hardly wait!
I love you!

Connie

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:14 pm

Simba, Hen Dick says that you need to contact him, and that he is at the hotel, but would like instructions to the camp! I see a recipe for some serious mischief here:

Quote:

Hi HONEY inform the management of the 5imba 5afari camp where you are that your husband is now ion parakou at le majestic hotel so that they should come and pick me or they indicate the 5imba 5afari camp I will come there with the driver that brought me from Cotonou to Parakou.

HONEY I am very tired,you are still with the Cuba boy?get yourself alone till my arrival,I don't want to see you with anyone,ok.tell the camp management that am now in Parakou at LE MAJESTIC HOTEL.PARAKOU.

Your HONE

This guy hasn't slept yet! hahahaha! and been awake since yesterday!

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