Safari time! - Well, it was fun while it lasted

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:44 am

@manebiteslion - I could be completely wrong, but my gut feeling is that there are two mugus involved here, but I don't think that they have both taken a safari.

I just have an image that Jimbo is sitting on his fat arse in Lagos and has ordered his nephew to take the "business trip" whilst he pulls the strings from HQ in Nigeria.

At least, Jimbo thinks that he is pulling the strings, of course we all know differently..... Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 23 Dec 2007 Posts: 128

@Juan.

I was wrong. And I say it again You're truly "evil incarnate" Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:00 am

I haven't received any Emails from Jimbo this morning about the shuttle buc collection, but I do have another two missed calls from 0022997215643 which is a mobile in Benin.... Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:01 am

Want me to try it? I'm bored Smile

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:18 am

So would one of your responsible drivers get as confused as me when trying to pay the room bills of the hotel you TOLD them to stay at when there isn't a white 40-something yankee registered under the right name? Would he drive back to the camp for further instructions, missing the pick-up time and adding to the general confusion leaving Juan feeling panicky and unloved with all the money and gifts ... possibly even talking to a sympathetic pool boy at the camp?

That could increase the sense of urgency and panic and maybe be a convincer for the lad to travel solo too?!

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:33 am

@manbiteslion - Well the laddie obviously slept somewhere last night, because he is still in Benin this morning.
Whether or not he stayed at the 0risha and is expecting his bills to be paid later today is anyones guess right now.

We must be careful not to paint him into a corner about his appearance though. We don't want to put obstacles in his way, we want to encourage him.

I would really love to play the hotel bill modality on this mugu, but we'll have to see what he does later in the day and take it one step at a time.

If the mugu is prepared to travel to Parakou by taxi then we'll try and do the hotel bill modality there.

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 1:22 pm

Simba and Juan, excellent work! I like that he is still in Benin! Getting him up to Parakou is the next step, of course, because that get's him that much closer to the camp.....

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 3:49 pm

"Jim" sent this at 11:30AM, Benin time:

Quote:

I dont have any money to check, so i did not check anywhere, i slept outside.

Right now, i have lost K3lvin, i am alone now wandering. But i bet he will find his way to the camp likewise me too. He has his simba shuttle pass with him.

Lets see who gets to the camp first.

Bye my love,
I will meet you there

Curiouser and curiouser. Sure sounds like two lads involved, but as has been said so many times by others, how can one of them expect to convince me he's the white male model in the obviously professional pictures he ripped off the web? Confused

The other odd thing is that I'm quite sure my original Jim lad is really named K3lvin. When my fake lad chopped my character's payment on Christmas eve, I sent a taunting email from the rival lad to the usual Jim address (the only one I had). He replied from the K3lvin box.

In any event, there's at least one lad, and maybe two, that are stranded without money or a place to sleep. Fortunately the Simba shuttle is scheduled to arrive any time now and rescue him from a long day of waiting.

Meanwhile my character is in the air so she can't get in touch with him. And since he's supposed to arrive this evening she obviously won't bother to email him. At least not until after I get the surely inevitable whining email about the bus not showing up.... Then I'll tell him everything that he's missing.

If she actually existed in real life, I don't think my character would be as quick to jump in bed with him as she's been claiming. He probably doesn't look (or smell) very sexy after a couple of days in the streets. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 3:54 pm

I just received this message from a fraudstrated laddie... Laughing

Quote:

I have been disappoint again today, i have been waiting at the Novotel 0risha hotel since 2.45pm but i did not see any of your shuttle, i have also called your number but it is always voice message. I am tired of wasting my time and money here in Cotonou, i came from a very far distance and i have been in Cotonou for two days now.

can you please advise what i am to do? Please send me your address so i can come to the camp without your shuttle.

I also need to know the color of your shuttle, send me the full address on how to get to the camp so i can ask people to direct me there.

Judging by the above message and the one that Juan has, it looks like this mugu is eager for some more safari miles.
Who am I to disappoint him... Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:08 pm

Oh yes, ROAD TRIP! Very Happy

Just got three emails, two from Jim and one from K3lvin:

Jim wrote:

My love,

I found K3lvin, and we both went to the hotel to wait for the shuttle, unfortunately, the shuttle did not come. What do we do now? Should we go back to Nigeria? [No! Come to the camp!]

I have sent an email to the Rhodes, asking them to send me the address on how to get to the camp by ourself without the shuttle.

Everyone we ask here about the camp knows nothing. I am fed up, i love you honey thats why i am still trying my best to meet you, I am sure you will be disppointed not to find us in the camp, but not our fault, it the Safari people who has refused to locate us.

Please bear with me,

i will wait to hear from Mr. Rhodes the address of the camp so we can come on our own, i am sure you are ok with that. [Sure, that's fine with me!]

Jim wrote:

My Darling Sue,

I am starving here in Cotonou, i dont know what to do. I dont trust this camp anymore, is this how they treat their guests? I have been here for two days now just wasting the little money k3lvin has. [Awww....., poor baby.]

Please call them yourself, and tell me where to meet the shuttle or give me the address i will locate the camp with kelvin.

I love you Dear

K3lvin wrote:

Hi Susan,

I am very very sure we are gonna miss each other today again, i and Jim have been waiting at the hotel where Mr and Mrs Rhodes asked us to wait at 2.45pm, but this is 4.45pm, we have not find the shuttle.

We are starving here, no food for us, Please let us know what to do, jim has sent an email to them asking for the address of the camp.

I am waiting for your response,

So obviously my character will write once she checks into the camp. Meanwhile I think Mr. Rhodes needs to send a groveling apology for this most unfortunate incident, and a suggestion to head straight to the camp. With all expenses to be reimbursed, of course.

@Simba: do the Rhodes' stay at the Benin camp? When my character arrives should she talk personally with them, or is there a local manager she'll deal with? I'll email my lad later, but I won't be arriving until at least 6PM local time.

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:09 pm

I LOVE this! He is going further and further! Great work!

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:29 pm

Oh dear, things aren't going too smoothly for Jimbo & his chum.....

Still, tomorrow is another day, and hopefully another town too... Laughing

Quote:

Dear Mister Calxxxs,

Please allow me to offer my most sincere apologies for the difficulties
we
have faced in transporting you to our camp. It is with the utmost regret
that I must convey to you that there has been another change in plans.

As you were informed earlier, there was
a minor incident involving the vehicle that we use for guest
transportation to our 5imba Safari Camp. While on a rough
stretch of road, the shuttle bus experienced a flat tyre. Unfortunately,
the driver continued to drive for some time before realizing that the
tyre
was flat, resulting in serious damage to the wheel rim and axle joint.
Fortunately the van driver
was able to change the flat and return to camp, unfortunately, the
shuttle bus is now
incapacitated and will be unable to make the journey to Cotonou for at
least several days, whilst it undergoes repair.

We at 5imba Safari Camps are undeterred in our efforts to service our
clientele. Hence, we will do whatever is necessary so that you may
achieve your goal of visiting Miss Susan at our lovely camp.

We have a smaller vehicle that makes daily runs between Parakou and our
camp. Unfortunately it is not equipped to make the journey all the way
to Cotonou - it is in fact the vehicle that we generally use to pick up
supplies in Parakou. It is not quite as plush and luxurious as our
shuttle bus, but it will suffice to get you from Parakou to camp.

We would strongly suggest that you hire a taxi to bring you to Parakou
as soon as possible, which is an easy drive on a very good road by Benin
standards.
Of course all of your travel and accommodation expenses will be met in
full by 5imba Safari Group Ltd, so please do ask your taxi driver for a
receipt.
We will also make the generous offer of a complimentary bottle of
chilled champagne upon your arrival at the 5imba camp.

Our alternative shuttle bus service will collect all guests outside of
the Majestic Hotel, Parakou upon receipt of a confirmation Email from
yourself to confirm your arrival.
http://www.lemajestichotel.com/index.htm

Please retain your vouchers for our complimentary shuttle
bus service, as our driver will still need to check you off of his daily
guest list from Parakou to the 5imba Camp.

Thank you very much for your continued understanding in this matter,

Best regards,

Gloria Rhoxxs.
Guest Relations Manager - 5imba Safari Group Ltd

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:16 pm

Jim just got the Simba email, he forwarded it to me with this comment:

Jim wrote:

I will try make it tomorrow,

Wait for me.

I'll be very happy to wait. No problem, I have all the time in the world.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:19 pm

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

Jim wrote:

I will try make it tomorrow,
Wait for me.

Oh no...!!!

Perhaps he didn't understand...?
The offer of alternative transport from Parakou is only valid for today..... Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:29 pm

When he arrives, tell him that vehicle has suffered a terrible prang, as well, and that he should catch a taxi to the park....

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 8:53 pm

A tip of the turban to JuanFWD and Simba for this highly entertaining safari! I'd give my bank account to be a fly on a wall of the intertube cafes they are using.

I wonder if we could ever get a mugu to paint the Simba Safari logo on a car and send him to pick up a safari customer...

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:05 pm

Susan has arrived at the camp, and emailed the lad with the good news:

my character wrote:

Dearest Jim,

I just got to the camp and got settled in to our gorgeous cabin. The flight was a little delayed and it was a long ride from the airport to the camp, but what a place!!!!!!

When I checked in, Mr. Rhodes came up to talk to me and told me about the problems they had in picking you and Kelvin up. He was very, very apologetic, he really felt awful about it. He upgraded us to their finest suite at no extra charge as a way of demonstrating how sorry they are. You won't believe it! It's really incredible. The bed is HUGE!!! I had originally asked for an extra bed for Kelvin, but the three of us can sleep in this bed and have plenty of room [pornographic comments snipped]

Anyway, I'm so sorry that you're not already here waiting for me, but sometimes I guess the anticipation is a big part of the ultimate reward. It will be well worth your trouble to get to Pariko, [Sue can't spell local names very well] where they'll pick you up. And anyway he said they'd pay all your expenses.

This place has absolutely everything! It's like a super luxury hotel in the middle of a jungle! It's absolutely breathtaking. I'm going to take a sauna now, then have dinner. They're serving prime rib tonight! Then I'm going to soak in the hot tub and drink some Hennessy VSOP Cognac. What bliss!! If only you were here to share it, but tomorrow you will be!!!! So this is only just a short interruption, from here on out it's two weeks of pure happiness!!

I can't wait until you see this place. I'm so happy I decided to come after all, it would be a shame to miss this! My friend was right when she said it was like heaven. I think this is better than heaven. And did I mention the bed?!?!?! Wink

Oh, Jim, we're going to have so much fun! Hurry!! Walk here if you have to, just get here! You're going to love it, and I'm going to love you. Repeatedly.

Your lover forever,
Susan

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 593

Quote:

I wonder if we could ever get a mugu to paint the Simba Safari logo on a car and send him to pick up a safari customer...

That is an absolutely genius idea Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:31 pm

Quote:

I wonder if we could ever get a mugu to paint the Simba Safari logo on a car and send him to pick up a safari customer...

Ditto on what Mr Me said! That would be great!

@Juan, excellent writing there. I would be packing my bags right now with dreams of luxurious splendor if I got that in my inbox....

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:23 pm

I just had a thought, something that might really get my lad into panic mode. Last month my fake lad chopped two payments to this guy, leaving "Jim" distraught. Of course my fake lad also taunted him mercilessly about it.

I'm thinking that the fake lad, being an advanced and very intelligent guyman, might decide to show up at the camp to seduce my character. I can only imagine how my lad will feel if I write tomorrow and tell him about the fabulous African man I met in the hot tub last night, and casually drop the name........... Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:26 pm

bohigal wrote:

I wonder if we could ever get a mugu to paint the Simba Safari logo on a car and send him to pick up a safari customer...

Well Doc Williams and myself did get the Twumasi mugu to take some photos of landcruisers with 5imba safari logos some months ago.
Do you remember Doc?

But to actually get some muppet to go and collect a gaggle of mugus from the 0risha. Well that would just be too damn funny for words.... Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:28 pm

ooooohhhh! Just when I think your wicked streak can't run deeper, it does ;-$

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:30 pm

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

the fabulous African man I met in the hot tub last night, and casually drop the name........... Twisted Evil

I wonder if that would be too much for Jimbo to take and he might throw in the towel... Confused

But what if the "fabulous African" man contacted Jimbo directly and taunted him saying that he knows that the maga is in Benin and he will get to her first....? Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:39 pm

I was thinking maybe I'd mention the "fabulous African man" but not drop the name yet. But maybe an email from the fake lad character would be a way to scare him. Jim will eventually have to give up, of course (he can hardly keep going when there is no Susan and no camp!). I think a suitable burn would be to have Susan run off with the fake lad at the very end. Jim will be so demoralized he won't be able to function. And I can periodically send him updates in the guise of the fake lad, gloating....

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:49 pm

Quote:

But to actually get some muppet to go and collect a gaggle of mugus from the 0risha. Well that would just be too damn funny for words....Laughing

Exactly what I was picturing, one mugu taking another(s) on safari. The driver's expecting payment, the others are riding to Paradise, they're all crammed into one car when they realize they've been burnt. Oh to have a camera (or be recording phone call) when your driving directions take them to the middle of nowhere! To pull this off would take hella luck and coordination but even a madman can dream, can't he?

Safari time! - Well, it was fun while it lasted	View next topic View previous topic