Safari time! - Well, it was fun while it lasted

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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 3:14 am

Simba I do hope your good and reliable and trustworthy drivers don't stop at a truck stop for a bio break, and have their vehicle stolen by nasty crooks who take this lovely lady hostage and chop all that lovely dolla and goodies from the poor lad. Then gloat horribly. That would be just awful. I'm sure you'd refund her if she ever makes it back home, in the meantime you seem to be getting these awful ransom letters and the poor lady's beau must be too - I wonder just how much he loves her (presents and money)?

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:32 am

@ Manbiteslion - A kidnap modality does sound like fun, but it tends to frighten the average mugu away.
Truth is, some of these people would slit your throat and dump you in gutter for your wallet, so they aren't about to pay a ransom.

@ Juan - Your mugu seems keens to get a second shuttle bus ticket and chased me up on it again this morning.

Quote:

My name is Jim Cxxxims, I am writing in respect of the booking made by Mrs Susan (booking confirmation is PAN07/512) i need you to send me another e-ticket as stated by Mrs. Susan. to the name of the third person KELVIN IFEAxxx.

I have already gotten my e-ticket from you, myself and Kelvin will be coming in today, but i have not gotten Kelvin's e-ticket.

I want you to note that i wont be coming in from Niger, i will be at the Airport in Cotonou, then i will give you a call and you tell me where we can meet you.

I will be waiting to hear from you asap with the e-ticket attachment,
Jim.

You will notice that in my reply I deliberately avoided any mention of where our shuttle bus would be making collections from.
Rest assured that wherever your mugu turns up, we will be somewhere different.... Laughing

Quote:

We are delighted to learn that you will soon be joining us at 5imba Safari Camp - Benin.

Please find attached your additional voucher for our complimentary
shuttle bus service to the 5imba Camp in the name of Mister Ifexxx.

It is important that you bring a copy of your voucher with you so that
our driver/guide will be able to check your name against our expected
guestlist.
However, photo ID is not strictly necessary, and our company policy has
recently been relaxed in this respect.

Soft drinks and snacks are provided free of charge as a courtesy to our
guests travelling on the 5imba shuttle bus service.

Once again, we are delighted to welcome you, and trust that you will
have a wonderful safari experience at 5imba Safari Camp - Benin.

Oh and thanks to Wayne for his ticket printing services... Very Happy

UPDATE: Whoa...!!
Just had 13 missed calls, all of which originated from the same Nigerian mobile. So I'd be 99% certain that this would be Jimbo getting a bit hot under the collar.. Laughing

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 3:25 pm

Well as he seems to need some urgent assistance, I should offer to help.... Very Happy

Quote:

Dear Mister Calkxxx,
We have been receiving a high number of calls from a faulty Nigerian
mobile phone today, and we are asking all guests from Nigeria if they
are trying to contact us.
Please would you advise by return if these calls are being made by
yourself, and if we can help in any way.

Best regards

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 4:13 pm

I got 3 emails from him this morning, one sent as the lad's alter-ego K3lvin. He's pretty antsy about the tickets. I guess he hadn't received them by the time he wrote me, but he didn't write back again later.

He's still talking about Cotonou. When I wrote back I didn't say anything about that, only that I was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. Considering he was still worrying about the ticket when he last wrote to me 7 hours ago, it seems pretty clear he didn't leave today.

We have to get him on the road tomorrow, ideally to Parakou but I'll settle for Cotonou. My character's plane gets in to Niamey around this time of day tomorrow, and I've told the lad I expect to find him (them) in our cabin upon my arrival at camp. I also told him, and his alter-ego, that I brought expensive digital cameras for each of them and I want them to take lots of pictures of our threesomes together. puke

EDIT: I just reread his email to you:

my lad wrote:

i will be at the Airport in Cotonou, then i will give you a call

Based on that, and the 13 calls, I think it must mean he's already there! That would explain why he hasn't written for several hours. He must have taken off for Cotonou after receiving the tickets, and is trying to call to find out where the shuttle is.

Fingers are crossed!

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 4:23 pm

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

We have to get him on the road tomorrow, ideally to Parakou but I'll settle for Cotonou.

First and foremost lets get him to Cotonou.
When he is there, then we can say that he missed the shuttle bus, arrange overnight accommodation, we'll collect you tomorrow.

When tomorrow comes, we'll contact him saying the bus has been delayed in Parakou, catch a taxi to meet us there....etc etc etc

I don't think that he has travelled yet, because all of the calls that I have had are all from a Nigerian mobile number.
As soon as I see an international code of +0221 I will know that he has definately crossed into Benin....

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 5:14 pm

Simba wrote:

I don't think that he has travelled yet,

Well, damn. Confused

Okay, Cotonou it is. I didn't say anything to him at all about where he was going so it's all up to him.

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:53 pm

K3lvin wrote:

This is really weird, i am in Cotonou Airport right now, i did not find any shuttle to the camp. I dont have much money here with me, i will be sending an email to Mr. Rhodes Right away. I called Mr. Rhodes when i was in Nigeria, but no one answered my calls, now i went to Cotonou only to wait all night.
Please advise what is happening cos i am really angry at this sad incident. I dont have much money on me, i asked jim to wait so i go get money from you to come pick him. Please let me know how to meet you or the Simba shuttle.

I will be waiting for your mail,

Jim wrote:

I and kelvin arrived Cotonou today, but we could not get any shuttle at the airport, i have already sent an email to Mr Rhodes and asked him to let us know where we can get the shuttle tomorrow.

I guess we both are gonna pass the night on the street because we dont have any money to lodge into a hotel.

Right were lucky to find a public internet cyber cafe to send you mail, i might not be able to send you mails tomorrow, maybe we meet at the camp once i am able to locate it.

I cant wait to see ya tomorrow,

I love you endlessly,

K3lvin wrote:

We already arrived Cotonou at about 7;50pm, Well we will go find where to sleep tonight and tomorrow when we hear from mr Rhodes on how to get to the camp, then we meet you there

Kelvin wrote:

Jim is here with me now, I am so happy we managed to get here. Please call Mr Rhodes and tell him we are in Cotonou. I have spent all i have to get down here with Jim

IP -- 81.91.235.152 = Benin Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 8:56 pm

I have not had the luxury of following this thread in its entirety. However, I love a good safari when I see it. Well done boys!

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 9:07 pm

Congratulations. I hope to eventually get a lad to go on the Benin safari as well.

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 9:08 pm

Great job!

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 9:30 pm

Now to only get him to go a little farther...hehehe! Congratulations on yet another successful safari. This is getting rather monotonous... Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 9:41 pm

Well done! Congrats! jump_4_joy

Looks like they will have to get up to Parakoooo for the shuttle, right?

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:17 pm

@Juan - You got the Benin IP.... beers!

Fantastic, well done mate...

The mugu has indeed Emailed me....

Quote:

Yes i have been calling you from Nigeria to know where i am to wait for your shuttle in Cotonou, but you did not answer my call. I am now in Cotonou Airport waiting for your shuttle all day, i did not see any of them.
Yhe mobile phone i used in calling isnt faulty

Please advise where am i to wait for the shuttle?

Well obviously its far too late to meet a shuttle bus this evening so we will have to reschedule for tomorrow.
Outside of the Novotel Orisha, 2:45pm local time.
I'll try and get a phone number from them and switch them onto a yahoo Email addy, so that we can plot their safari easier.

We'll make them stay overnight and hanging about for most of tomorrow, before informing them of the unfortunate incident that has meant that the shuttle bus is being repaired in Parakou.

Then we'll suggest that they catch a bush taxi blah blah blah.... Very Happy

How does that sound Juan...?

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:26 pm

"Jim" is using a gmail account but "k3lvin" is on yahoo so he is trackable. Hopefully he'll continue to email me from Yahoo.

I just wrote him and said I had just gotten back from dinner. I todl him I was excited they're finally en route (and I really am! Laughing

).

As for the Simba van, I said this to Jim:

my character wrote:

Did you schedule an appointment with Mr. Rhodes for the shuttle? I don't think they go to the airport on a regular basis, when I was going to fly into Cotonou I had to book the shuttle in advance. I'm pretty sure they have regular service to some hotel, I think once a day. Anyway, I'm sure Mr. Rhodes will have already written to you by the time you get this email.

So yes, an afternoon pickup in Cotonou is perfect. Damn shame about the maintenance of those vans, however. Imagine if he got stuck for another night when he's already saying he (they) have to sleep in the streets. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:32 pm

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

"Jim" is using a gmail account but "k3lvin" is on yahoo so he is trackable. Hopefully he'll continue to email me from Yahoo.

OK, In that case I won't push him to switch Emails, that would be overkill.

But I'll get a local phone number from him, and perhaps if Homer doesn't mind he can give the mugu a call tomorrow with the bad news.... Very Happy

EDIT - Just had a thought... Twisted Evil

It would probably mean the end of your safari but, what if I suggest that they check into the Orisha, which is the most expensive hotel in Cotonou, and when our driver arrives in the morning, Simba will pick up their bill.... Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:47 pm

What's the most expensive hotel in Parakou? The same modality would be even more fun after he's into it even deeper. Suppose he spends another night in Cotonou, then gets the bush taxi to Parakou. The Simba van will already have come and gone from Parakou that day, but they could stay in a top flight hotel at Simba's expense while they wait for the next morning's van.

I love the idea of him being jailed for stiffing the hotel when the Simba van doesn't appear. Twisted Evil

But If he digs in his heels and refuses to go to Parakou, then yes, let's offer him a luxury suite in the Orisha while the van is being repaired. Either way he's screwed.

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:52 pm

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

What's the most expensive hotel in Parakou?

Strangely enough, I know just the place.
The Majestic in Parakou would be absolutely ideal... Laughing

OK, I will Email him with profuse apologies and reschedule his shuttle collection for tomorrow.... Wink

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:13 pm

LOL...I am so happy your lad traveled, Juan. Tomorrow's update should be good. Carry on the safari!

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:17 pm

OK, Email sent to reschedule for tomorrow, while I was typing this up another 3 missed calls from Jimbo.... Laughing

Quote:

Dear Mister Calxxns,

I am Mrs. Gloria Rxxxes, partner and wife of Mr. Bernie Rxxxes, with
whom you have been communicating regarding transportation to our 5imbaSafari Camp - Benin.

Please allow me to offer my most sincerest apologies for the confusion
we
have faced in transporting you to our camp today. I can assure you that
this is most certainly not a normal course of events for us.
It is with the utmost regret that I must inform you that your shuttle
bus collection from the airport at Cotonou was not added to our
driver/guide's daily itinery.
This is entirely our error, and the 5imba safari group Ltd takes full
responsibility.

If it is at all possible, please check yourself into the Novotel 0risha
hotel
overnight in order for your rescheduled shuttle bus collection tomorrow.
Please do not worry about this additional cost to your safari, as 5imba
Safari Group will gladly reimburse you for any expenses incurred.

Fortunately there will indeed be a regular 5imba safari shuttle bus
collection
tomorrow afternoon.
To remind you, our complimentary shuttle bus service will collect guests
outside of the Novotel 0risha, blvd Marina, Cotonou at 2.45pm local
time.

Finally, please provide us with your mobile phone number in Benin, if at
all possible.

Thank you very much for your understanding in this matter,
Best regards,

Gloria Rhxxes.
Guest Relations Manager - 5imba Safari Group Ltd

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:58 pm

Oh a lovely Safari this time of year is just what we need! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:01 am

Simba, wonderful personal email. It's the little touches like those that make a 5imb@ 5@f@ri trip so wonderful.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:06 am

I do so much admire the customer service at 5imba Safari. Truly above and beyond! Very Happy

I'm sure when my lad is sleeping in the streets, waiting for the non-existent van to pick him up, he'll really enjoy the emails I'll send him telling him all about the camp's amenities: the hot tub, sauna, lavish meals, fine wines, and very attentive male staff looking after my every need. And I'm sure he'll understand if I feel compelled to reward these staff members with some of the gifts I had intended to give to the lad. He doesn't really need the Rolex or the laptop anyway. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:07 am

I'm enjoying this thread a lot but am slightly puzzled that the lad is talking in the plural here, where one of the two is a middle aged white New Yorker - will that not be too obvious a mismatch for the 5imba rep when he arrives early at the hotel (as he has been told by his client who to expect, and to pay the room bills), so would have to go on his way (probably after asking reception for the names and descriptions and getting confused at no match)?

Some flavour of that could give you another 24 hours to the next pickup? All the more frustrating if Juan's character arrives at the camp in the meantime... :-$ I'm just thinking aloud though I'm sure you've got lots of fun and games in mind anyway and as I said, it makes a pleasant read Smile

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:13 am

It is confusing. Even I'm confused and I've been baiting him all along.

I think he's still just pretending there's two of them. He had to introduce his young friend to cover the fact that he's not a 40-ish New Yorker. I think when the van shows up, K3lvin plans to tell the driver that Jim had to return to Lagos for whatever reason. Originally he was building up to being sick, which would have been a convenient excuse, but he seems to have forgotten that in his panic over my impending cancelation. Notice that in his first email after getting to Cotonou K3lvin wrote "i asked jim to wait so i go get money from you to come pick him." I think he was planning to show up at the camp and ask for money to send to Jim so he could follow later. (Ostensibly, anyway.) But somewhere along the line he either forgot or changed his mind, and suddenly Jim is in Cotonou too. Or not, who the hell knows?

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:21 am

Nice work

Always great to see lads travel past their fail safe point Laughing

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