Just1n Alb3rt vs. The Bu2y B33 S4wing Club of Nevada

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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:14 am

^^Does he want us to found a new colony on Mars? Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ That really won't work, as I don't travel well at all. Very Happy

Agnes doesn't think she is up to this job, but she knows someone who might be:

Quote:

I'm sorry mr chief but I don't know anything about international settlement. I've never even left Nevada! I think you want someone smarter than I am to handle this. Would you like me to give you the email address of Mr. Alb3rt? I'm working for him right now and he seems to be really smart. Maybe he could help you.

Agnes Skinner

Don't let up on him gang. I honestly do believe that he thinks he's got a bunch of little old ladies on the hook, but he (or his oga) doesn't want to go to the time or trouble to print up all that bad paper to send.

The nice thing is that we all bank at the same place. That Sk1lling Bank sure has some funky policies on overseas transfers.

Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 7:38 pm

No fair... 3ve1yn's getting lonely Crying or Very sad

Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 6:09 am

Ok "ladies" I am going to introduce you to a lad....let me get him set up first. I've been baiting him since August. This is a real dunce - I had started emailing him as an "evil spirit" that was dead. Eventually I switched to just being Mrs. R0binson.

So tonight's email response to him (I've been baiting him as this guy for a month now) is in response to him being upset because I don't email him every day.

I had sent him my address - and now he wants to know what is my country....

So I write:

Quote:

Dear Mr. K3ssinger,
I am so sorry. I didn't realize that you thought I own a country. I am sorry. I didn't mean for you to think that. I don't have a country. I'm wealthy, but I am not that wealthy. I'm just a normal citizen.

Perhaps you did have me mixed up with someone else after all? I'm really sorry to bother you if that's the case.

Also, I don't get to check my email all the time because I am very busy.

I am a member of the , and we are in the process of extending our club to other old ladies throughout the world. We are sewing, crocheting, and knitting lots of sweaters and pot holders and blankets for our annual Christmas Bazaar which will be this Friday. The person who makes the most items that sells and brings in the most money for charity wins a year's supply of thread and yard from Handoncock's Fabrics. Plus you get your picture in the paper, and you get a nice trophy. I am hoping to beat Agnes this year. She's such a b1tch, and she's won it for the past few years.

Mrs. R0binson

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Agnes will not take this insult lying down. Bring it on you daughter of a demon! It's on!

Quote:

Dear Mr. Kess1nger

I was at my sewing club meeting last night and Mrs. Robins0n was
bragging to me about what a great deal she has going on with you. She
was even showing us some of her emails to you (That's how I got your
address). Don't believe a word that she says because not only is she
a total bitch but she is a compulsive liar. Did she tell you about
how she used to date John Kennedy? Well, she did, and if he hadn't
gotten killed he would have divorced Jackie and married her. That
woman is a complete slut. She has been laid flat more times than the
New York Times, if you catch my meaning.

Can I work for you instead of that whore? I really need to earn some
money and I would love to rub it in that bitch's face that I took her
her job.

Agnes

Agnes has a check coming from Mr. A.

Quote:

Hello
Am very sorry for the late response,

Well my client just call me now,he said that the payment have bein issue out to your address,so i will like you to get back to me immediately you receive the check, so i will tell you what to do with it.

Thanks
Just1n Alb3rt.

I am currently taking volunteers for a deranged woman to steal the check out of my mailbox and rip it up. Don't rush, as you've got plenty of time. It takes well over a week for the check to make it to me.

Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:00 pm

Ethel will steal it. Ethel's pissed about Albert not writing her.

Eliza, thanks for setting that up. Let us know when it's time to start writing to you lad. I quite enjoy being a member of the sewing club and I'd hate to stop just because Justin won't write to me anymore Crying or Very sad

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

K3ssinger has sent me a rather large tome informing me that when Mrs. R0binson screws up the job is mine. Woo-hoo!

The battle is on between R0binson and Agnes! Agnes fires the opening salvo.

Quote:

Mr. K3ssinger you do not want to do business with Mrs. R0binson. She is a thief and a liar and I would not believe one word that she says.

Last fall we had our annual town fair and my carrot cake had won a blue ribbon for six years in a row which really pissed off Mrs. R0binson because her carrot cake tastes like shit and everyone knows it. Do you know what she did? I'll tell you what she did. She POISONED my carrot cake so it would not win. THATS what she did. I can't prove it, but I know that when the judges tasted my carrot cake three of them threw up and one of them had to be taken to the hospital and I know that it wasn't MY carrot cake that made them do that. SHE somehow put something into my carrot cake that made the judges sick. I still remember that smug look on HER face when the judges were throwing up. MY carrot cake doesn't make people sick. I could send you one of my carrot cakes so you can decide for YOURSELF that it is good and healthy for you. MY carrot cake should have won and she knows it.

Do you see the type of person that YOU are doing business with? She drinks too. She drinks ALOT! She thinks that we don't know that she has liquor bottles hidden all over her house but WE know it. The kids all call her a SKANK. I don't know what that means but I know it isn't good.

So do you see what type of person you are dealing with? DO YOU? Do YOU really want to do business with someone that would poison a carrot cake? I know that I wouldn't. If I was YOU I would fire her right away and give ME the job. She will only screw it up.

Agnes

Worf, I'll let you know when you can steal the check, you miserable cheating wench!

edit - R0binson out, Agnes in. This lad sure likes to write alot, doesn't he?

Quote:

Dear Mrs agnes ,

I have hard you what you have said about Mrs. R0binson,if she did that candy of thing is not good,but for now are you ready to follow this business because i have made up my mind to transfered this fund to you to your country.

What i will like you to do now is to send me your informations which i will use to send this fund to you and i will like you to promiss me that you well help me because i want to send my son to your country,is a man of 28 years old and if you can help me out i my salf i promiss to help you to the last.

Mrs agnes,you know that well are going to change the ownership because the check which is in my office now which is named Mrs. R0binson,and i promiss you that i will help you to change the name to your name,and i my salf will not do it that is why i have to direct you to a lawyer who can go to supreme cort of benin to make sure that this check well change to your name which is Mrs agnes.

And you know that it will cost you small money to change this ownership to your name ... blah blah blah

How the hell did I end up with a 28 year old kid in the deal? It's also nice to know that a simple name change requires the approval of the "supreme cort." No wonder things can't get done over there.

So take THAT Mrs. R0binson! I told you that poisoning my carrot cake would cost you!

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

Just1n hasn't written to me, but Chief O did and sent me to Mr. A. for an ATM card.

Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 1:19 pm

^^same here

Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 4:55 pm

^
Ethel got the same request. Of course, she doesn't really know what an ATM card is:

Quote:

Dear Dr. Patrick,

I was told to write to you by Mr. Chief. He said something that you have a card for me? I love to get cards! Especially now, it being the holiday season and all. Do you need my address so you can mail me the card?

Sincerely,

Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 1:53 pm

Me neither Very Happy

even in RL I have no clue, so this might prove eduational :

Quote:

Dear,
I am sorry, I have absolutely no idea off what you are talking about. I am onl yin a book club and in the Bu5y B33 S3w1ng C1rcle, which I�m sure you know already, my friends are extremely chatty people.
What is ATM?!?? Is it something you use to shop in these terrifyingly great malls?

I wish you a merry Christmas, dear.

Yours, Chrys315 Soph14 Ph1m0krat3s

* Merry Christmas to you Eaters as well! *

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well, he has send Agn3s a check, and he is pretty pissed off.

Quote:

Hello Agn3s,
I have just gotten a phone call from my client informing me that the check of $5,000 has been received by you since last friday, and you are yet to inform me about the check...... WHY??

Here is what you are required to do immediately without delay.
Deduct your 10% as agreed upon, while you have the remaining money sent to our branch office in the UK via this contact below via the Western Union Money Transfer office/outlet in your area without delay:

Name: ......Johns0n B3b3
Address:... 404 Inn1skilling Road
Pla1nstow, E13 9LD
England.

IMMEDIATELY THE MONEY IS SENT, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO SCAN AND ATTACH THE WESTERN UNION RECEIPT TO ME VIA EMAIL. FOR A PROPER RECORD PURPOSE OF OUR COMPANY ....OK??

I AWAIT YOUR IMMEDIATE REPLY.

Followed up the next day by this gem.

Quote:

What is going on Agnes??
You have refuse to reply to my e-mails after receiving payments.
If i did not hear from you again today, i wi have no other options other
than inform my attorney, to turn you in to the FBI.
Are you trying to make away with the companies fund??

Oh dear. I don't want the FBI on my case. I sent him this one.

Code:

I do not know what you are talking about. I have received no check from anybody. I did not even receive any Christmas Cards from anybody. I do not know what is going on? Maybe the mail is slow due to it being Christmas? I will keep an eye out for this check and as soon as I get it I will send you the money. I am a very honest person and I promise you I am not trying to steal any money from you.

Worf, I think it's okay for you to steal the check and rip it into a thousand pieces now. Twisted Evil

Meanwhile, Mr. K3ssenger does not like questions. I told him that I could have someone beat Mrs. R0binson up and force her to sign the check over to me, but that didn't go over so well.

Quote:

Dear Agn3s,

Look let me tell you if you are not interesed please live this transaction if you are not ready to do what i told you to do,

I have told you that i can't do any thing about this again and i have find out that you are not interested to have this fund,why are you telling me that kind of story and i have told you that you must to contact this man,because he is the lawyer who will stand for you here to change this ownership to your name.

I have tryed my best to help you and to make sure that you recived this fund in your country,and you are the one that holding this fund yersterday you told me that Mrs R0binson,do this and that to you and i have find out that this woman did not do any thing to you.

If you are not ready to have this fund please don't distoub my office again because i have make up my mind to help you so that you will have this fund to your country and you are telling me that you need my son email what do you want to do with my son,look if you don't want to help me please live but i have make up my mind to help you so that you can recived this fund.

And you have to contact this lawyer because he is the one that will stand for you and he is the one that will represent you here to make sure that this fund get to you in your country,so you have to contact him and this is his email adress i will gave it to you again and his name is

If you want to have this fund you have to contact this lawyer he is the one to stand for you,and i promiss if this ownership change to your name i will help you to the last mine why i don't need your money so for that dont fill that i am going to it your money in this transaction.

Thanks
Mr K3ssinger

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

It looks like more of you have checks coming your way!

Quote:

Hello,
I have disputed with my client who has sent the payment.
And he assured me that you should have gotten the check?
we have three other clients who has promised to make their own payment
after the holiday, and that will be handled by your friends.
so, i will not feel confortable when i write to you and you did not reply to it.
My attorney has said we shoud report cases like that to the approppriate
authority after 2 days............... So, if you 've not gotten it, pls keep your eyes out
for it..ok? Sorry if my mails was harsh. But always reply to my mails.

Oh! sorry, Merry xmas.......... I hope you had a sweal one..?

It was so nice of him to wish me a "sweal" merry christmas, wasn't it? Be sure and write to him and ask him where your check is. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:55 pm

Oh no, does this mean poor old Ethel will be going to jail?

Quote:

Dear Justin,

I have Agnes's check. I stole it out of her mailbox and ripped it up. That is what the both of you get for not writing to me. Agnes is so stuck up. She deserves this!

Sincerely,
Ethel

Ethel is also still writing to the doctor, trying to figure out what an ATM card is.

Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:00 pm

Well Evelynn finally heard from the Chief, and what a strange intro script that is. But, I'm afraid Evelynn's all mixed up now.

Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:21 pm

Ethel got approved for her ATM card

Quote:

- $1,500,000,000(One Million five hundred thousand dollars).

That's some card! Laughing

Too bad Ethel doesn't know what it is.

Dr. Patr1ck says Ethel has to come to him to sign a release. That might be a problem. However:

Quote:

On the condition that you are not able to come down here for the signing of your funds release order documents, you have to call or email me immediately,

He includes a phone number +234-702-795-1808

I don't have a headset yet, but this might just be the best excuse for me to get one. I really want to try out my old lady voice Wink

eta: quoted the ATM card amount because it's from the lad Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Um, Worf, that's not a million five, it's ONE BILLION FIVE HUNDRED MILLION dollars.

Ethel can buy and sell the rest of us. Sweet.

Agnes hasn't heard back from Mr. A about the check that Ethel ripped up. but she has heard back from K3ssenger. K3ssenger is not pleased at all that Agnes has not contacted the attorney.

Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 5:46 pm

^ That's what I get for copying and pasting directly from the lad's e-mail Laughing

.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Mr. Albert is pissed.

Quote:

what is going on within you and you friends Agnes??
Here is a copy of the e-mail sent to me by one of your friend called
"Eth3l Smith"
Dear Just1n,

I have Agnes's check. I stole it out of her mailbox and ripped it up. That is what the both of you get for not writing to me. Agnes is so stuck up. She deserves this!

Sincerely,
Eth3l
I need to hear from you b4 taking a legal action about this.

Ha! You're going to jail Eth3l!

edit - Worf, I can't believe I'm sticking up for you like this. I hope you appreciate me! Very Happy

Quote:

Oh my god! I am so sorry Mr. Alb3rt. I cannot believe that Eth3l
would do that to me. I bet she was ripping up my Christmas cards
also. I usually get many Christmas cards but this year I only got a
few. I am so sorry for this Mr. Alb3rt. Eth3l is still mad at me
because fifty years ago she said I stole her boyfriend Eddi3 Vad3r
even though they weren't really dating but she had a crush on him but
he didn't like her because her face was all pock marked and ugly but
Eddi3 like me. She has had it out for me ever since then but I can't
believe that she would do something like this.

Please don't turn Eth3l into the police Mr. Alb3rt. If you do they
will put her in a special home with all of the other crazy old people
and she will die. I'm very sorry about what she did but surely your
client can send another check. Let me handle Eth3l. I will bring
this up before the Bu2y B33 Board and I will make sure she is censored
or kicked out of the club. Please let me handel Eth3l and don't call
the police. She is a crazy old woman but she is still my friend.

Mr. Alb3rt I told you something like this could happen. I told my
friends about this job because you said that you had clients that were
ready to send them checks, but now they don't even get checks and most
of them are telling me that you don't even respond to their emails.
Half of the girls think I made this whole thing up and the other half
think I am snooty and stuck up because I am working for you and they
are not. Sylv1a Wickers calls me up every day and tells me that you
stole her drivers license. Why would you do that Mr. Alb3rts?

I really do like working for the company and you are a great boss Mr.
Alb3rts but I am starting to wish that I had never taken this job
because it is costing me all of my friends. You said that you had
lots of work for them, so could you please send them some work and
some checks so they will stop hating me. Last night I came out of
Bingo and one of my tires had been slashed! Please help me Mr.
Alb3rts!!!!!!

Agnes

Hey, I'm trying to get you all checks! Very Happy

Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 8:53 pm

Yep, Just1n is pretty pissed at Ethel too Laughing

Quote:

WHY?? MY ATTORNEY WILL CONTACT YOU SOON FOR STEALING OUR CHECK.

How do you want me to play this Jayhawk? Nasty old lady, crazy as a fruitbat, or ashamed/apologetic?

And I do sincerely appreciate you sticking up for my elderly alter ego Wink

Ethel writes back to Dr. ATM card:

Quote:

Dear Dr.,

I will try to call you soon. I have to use the retirement community's phone and it is hard to get on it sometimes because some of the ladies talk all day long and monopolize the phone. Especially Jane. Jane never seems to shut up and she has the most annoying voice!

I'm still not sure of what an ATM card is, but if it is cute and has kittens on it, that would be great. I love getting cards with kittens.

Sincerely,
Ethel

I know the Bu5y Bees don't have a Jane yet. But I do in RL . . . and everything I said about the voice is true. Nice enough lady, but God forbid you get a phone call from her. You might as well kiss a couple hours of your life goodbye.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^^ Fruitbat. Most definitely fruitbat. Laughing

You can even turn it up a notch in a few days when the Bu2y B33 Sewing Club suspends you.

Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:00 pm

^

Quote:

Just1n,

How dare you threaten legal action against me! If you do, I will report you to Alberto Gonzalez and the president! I write to them often and they'll believe me over you.

Ethel

Just1n responds:

Quote:

ok.. not even George Bush will help you when am tr with you Ethel!!
It is in our company's policy that we have our employed personel outside the conutry's trust
before we proceed with further transaction with them. I wanted to see HOW Agnes will handle that check before instructing four other client to make out payment again to you guys by next week. Now you are going to jail. Just return that check to Agnes and lets see how it goes again..k?

That's real nice Just1n, threatening an old lady.

@Jayhawk, please let me know once Ethel has been suspended from the sewing club. Then Ethel will write him back and really go off the deep end.

Meanwhile, Ethel's been approved for her ATM card. All she has to do is send money through WU to get it activated. There are all sorts of possibilities on how Ethel can screw that up Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Okay, Ethel has officially been put on double secret probation with the sewing club.

He finally got back to Agnes. It's the attorney, dontcha know!

Quote:

Agnes,
My attorney has advised that i gain enough trust before proceeding with your friends.
That was why a check was sent to you at first...ok?? We have our company's policy,
and it is right that i abide by the attorneys advise.
If your friend that has stolen the check is truely yours, then i will advise that you too resolve whatever problem you have. If the both of you can share the 10% discount, it is left to the two to decide.
Go and get the check fromher and have it cashed !!
I await to hear from you without delay.

Happy holiday!!

I ain't sharing with Ethel, and I told him so.

Quote:

Mr. Alb3rt

How in the world can I deposit the check that she stole? SHE RIPPED
IT TO SHREDS! IT IS NOW IN LITTLE TINY PIECES!

Mr. Alb3rt you told me that you had work for my friends but now you
say that you cannot trust me? I have been working with you for many
months now Mr. Alb3rt and that really hurts me to have you say that.
I am a very trustworthy employee.

Mr. Alb3rt I am not going to give anyone else my 10%. Why would I do
that? It is my money and I earned it.

Mr. Alb3rt I cannot go on having all of my friends hate me. No job is
worth that much hassle. If you do not have enough clients for my
friends or if you do not trust me I will just have to quit this job.
I love the job and you are a great boss but no boss is worth losing
all of my friends. Some of the girls were counting on using the money
they earned to buy Christmas gifts but they obviously cannot do that
now.

If I send you a list of my most trustworthy friends could you have
your customers start sending them checks? I cannot be the only person
working for you, not after all the great things I told the ladies in
my sewing club about this job.

I think it's costing this lad some money to get these checks printed. Let's see how many we can get sent out!

(Man Worf, but he sure is pissed at you Very Happy

)

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 1:07 pm

^ Well Ethel's really pissed at him Laughing

Quote:

Mr. Albert,

I ripped up the check! And now I have been suspended from the sewing club! This is all your fault Mr. Albert. I am very angry at you and I spent 2 hours on the phone last night with Herbert telling him all about you. I told Herbert that he needs to call the CIA to track you down! You are threatening an elderly woman. Don't you have a grandmother? My generation did not fight in the war for ungrateful ingrates like you!

-Ethel

She's still not sure about the ATM card. Dr. Patr1ck told her to send a money order, but that won't do.

Quote:

Dear Dr.,

I am a little confused. Should I have my son mail you a check? My son Herbert, he is in charge of all of my finances. He has been ever since I hit that grapefruit tree with my cadillac.

I don't have a way to go to a bank now because I have been suspended from the Busy Bee Sewing Club, and their bus won't pick me up anymore. I could send you the cash hidden in something, like we used to do in the great depression. Would that be okay? What would you like me to hide it in? My son got me a scanner for Christmas and lord knows, I don't know how to use that. I could send you the money hidden in that.

Sincerely,
Ethel

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 4:03 pm

He�s prodding me towards work, too. Shall I say that I hate the way Agn3s is spoiling the atmosphere in our club?

Quote:

s1dneyc0le
10:53 (6 Stunden)

CONTACT THE SECRETARIAT FOR MORE INFORMATION

Hi,

Happy New Year to you.

I know that you have try to contact the secretariat at this address [email protected] without success.

Places for the conference are indeed going to attain the bearable threshold without your having the possibility of

participating. We expect therefore from you that you manifested yourself in order to represent your country at the

conference.

For the New Year, a new address is made available for all information you need.

the address of the secretariat of conference is:

[email protected]

Endeavor to update me with every step you take to enable me follow up the processing of your documents,as I was

the one who invited you so as to receive the entitled travelling documents ontime.

Hoping to meet you there.

Sincerely,
S1dney C0l3.

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