Sco(o)t, underage pregnancies and bananas. NSFW!!!

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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 10:53 pm

A HUGE thank you to 419weasel for being my character and chatting to him, while pretending to be smashed on gin. We really had him going today.

ME: hey there. where've you been hiding out?

LAD: [ ZoneAlarm Security alert: Session not encrypted because LAD is not protected by IM Security ]

LAD: been busy

ME: i know the feeling. it's that time of year

LAD: how do you mean ?

ME: well christmas. work is always busy this tie of year

LAD: yea

LAD: how about you ?

LAD: where been ?

ME: work, work and more work here. been absolutely crazy

LAD: carzy about whta ?

ME: with work. trying to get enough done so there's not a backlog when we get back from the holidays

LAD: ok

LAD: so what do you have for me

LAD: ?

ME: what do you mean?

LAD: i mean no gift for xmas ?

ME: did you buy me one?

LAD: yea

LAD: ui brought a perfume and rose

LAD: for you

ME: after what, 2 days of talking to you you buy me perfume and a rose?

ME: that's a little presumptuous of you isn't it?

LAD: that just me

ME: hmm. well i didn't get you anything. i could maybe call you later tho. wish you a merry christmas over the phone

LAD: do u still have my phone ?

ME: i don't know if you gave it to me

LAD: yea i gave u

ME: i'll have to check my history.

LAD: ok do that now

LAD: am waiting

ME: my mobile's on charge right now anyway, so i couldn't call you for a bit

LAD: wht ur number

ME: +XXXXXX

LAD: hold on

LAD: i want to call

ME: ok. call me then quickly

LAD: it not thru here

LAD: can u call me

ME: i'll have to do it on my mobile after. my phone doesn't do international calls. it's to keep my call charges low

LAD: +23XXXXXX

ME: ok. give it a bit for my mobile to charge up and i'll call you ok?

LAD: ok

ME: i forgot to charge it up cos i've been out so much. hmm, you deleted me off your user list?

LAD: nope my yahoo im got crash

ME: ok. that can happen

LAD: so i had to re add u

LAD: am sorry

ME: i'll forgive you this once seeing as you bought m presents Wink

LAD: ok

LAD: so are u at hom e/

LAD: ?

ME: yeah

LAD: k

LAD: for holiday

LAD: ?

ME: yeah. well it's almost new years so i get to stay home until jan 3rd getting drunk and eating bonbons Very Happy

LAD: lol!!!

LAD: dont get drunk

ME: why?

LAD: just dont want you to get drunk

ME: i've got a big glass of gin here i'm sipping out of

LAD: wht kind if gin?

ME: just normal gin. some ice and a slice of lemon

LAD: k

LAD: name of the gin

ME: beefeater. why?

LAD: acholic content ?

ME: about 40%

LAD: ok

LAD: so am having a party

ME: why do you ask? have you never tried gin before?

LAD: jan 2th

ME: nice. this time of year every night's a party night

LAD: so i need more hand

ME: eh? more hand?

LAD: yes

LAD: for my home kids

ME: you've lost me

LAD: i `told u i have an ophange home

ME: right.....

LAD: so am celebrating the end of the yr party for them

ME: not with gin i hope Smile

)

LAD: yes not with gin

ME: that's ok then. don't want to corrupt the little ones Wink

LAD: So i need assisatnt

ME: well i don't havethe belly to play santa claus

LAD: can u nhelp me home financailly?

ME: oic. well that's difficult right now. it's bank holiday until wednesday here cos of the new year. when#s the partty?

LAD: So do you want us to wait till wednessday ?

ME: well whens the party? you can't tell the kids "o sory we can'#t have the party today cosd the nice lady hasnt given us any moeny yet can you?

LAD: 2nd

LAD: but just weant to know when you vcan help

ME: ok. how much do you need hon?

LAD: baby!!!i hardly know how much u can afford ..

LAD: but i will appreacite if u can help

ME: what kind of money are you talkin gabout?

LAD: for how party and to get some gift for the kisds

ME: yeah. how much? 500? a grand?

LAD: dollars or in pounds ?

ME: pounds of course.

LAD: can u make it higher

ME: like how much?

LAD: 700

LAD: hello

ME: umm you realise that 700 is less than 1000 right?

LAD: yea

LAD: can u afford that

LAD: ?

ME: fuck yeah

LAD: whtt????????????

LAD: why??????????????

ME: what???????????

ME: how much do you need?

LAD: i told u 700 will be ok

ME: so you don't neeed a grnad then, just 700?

LAD: yea

ME: i can do that. no problem

LAD: so when ?

ME: when did i say? hmm?

LAD: i dont know ..

ME: i told you wednesday

LAD: u dont have the information whre u can send it to

LAD: do u ?

ME: not yet n but wer have til wednesday

LAD: ok

LAD: so ...how do u intend sending it /

LAD: ?

ME: well posting a cheque would be out of the question so i guess a money transfer

ME: bb. need another gin

LAD: hello '

LAD: u there

ME: pouring another gin here

ME: want one? hehehehehehe

LAD: <ding>

ME: ok. all tpped up again whats th details i need to send you the cash ?

LAD: <ding>

ME: waiting for details hon

LAD: yes maybe thru western union

ME: but i need dedtails

LAD: or money grame

LAD: ?

ME: k. eethe will do. whats the details?

ME: ther ehon?

LAD: can u send it to my personal assistant

ME: depends. is he cute?

LAD: lol!!!!

LAD: yea

ME: yea?

LAD: I dont want you to disappiont mt home kids..

LAD: buz u know they will be expecting

ME: they're pregnant?

LAD: so u dont promise me u promise my home

LAD: what do u mean they are pregant ..are they women

LAD: A/

LAD: ?

ME: you said they were expecting

ME: as in pregnant?

LAD: Yes they will

LAD: buz they are all kids

ME: so they're pregnant and underage? does that happen a lot there?

LAD: nope

ME: just the ones with you?

LAD: they are all underage

ME: don't you teach them sex education there?

LAD: Nope they are still very young

ME: well if they'rte getting pregnant you really should teach them earlier

LAD: nope they are not ..still younger for that

ME: damn kids getting pregnant so young nowadays. it's terrible

LAD: not in my home

ME: i should fucking hope not too. it';s terrible

LAD: So i you can make it to Dennis Olaniyi

LAD: that my personal assistant name

ME: this dennis isn't the guy getting al these young girls pregnant is he?

LAD: lol!!!

LAD: nope

LAD: he cant .. do that

ME: i should hope not too. it's a terrible state of affairs all these young girls getting pregnant.

ME: why can't he? is he impotent?

LAD: those kids are under age

LAD: so we will be looking up to you on wednesday morning

ME: so who#s getting them all pregnant?

LAD: nobody baby !!

ME: well some fucker obviously is!!!!

ME: don't you know who?

LAD: i told you not in my home

ME: so where?

LAD: not heard about such thing here

ME: it's terrible. so how are all these girls getting pregnant then?

LAD: i dont know too

ME: maybe i should send over a pack of condoms

LAD: can i send you one of there pic

LAD: ?

ME: hmm. ok.

ME: what do you think about the condoms?

ME: maybe we should give thm out to all the girls. or the pill?

ME: stil there?

LAD: yes

LAD: u got the picture ?

ME: what do you thin kabout birth control for all the young girls?

ME: no email yet

LAD: to teach them sex education

ME: yes. if they're all getting pregnant then they need sex education

LAD: that why i will so much love if u can take ur time to come over to leacture them too

LAD: can you too them baby !!

ME: well i can teach them about sex yeah

LAD: So can u come over with me

LAD: "?

ME: i guess so

LAD: i need international body too

ME: whose body do you need?

LAD: to support my program

LAD: i nees someone like you

ME: for what?

LAD: so you can give lecture about sex education ..for control of birth rate in Africa

ME: damn straight i do. i never got pregnant at 12. why are all these girls doing it?

LAD: i dont know too

LAD: that why am here to eloborate them on sex education

ME: some little fucker is getting these girls pregnant and you don't know who?

ME: it's a terrible state of affairs

LAD: that why we need to control birth rate in Africa ...

ME: i thin kyou need to cut some horny guy's dick off

LAD: lol!!!

ME: well someone;s getting all these girls pregnant

ME: and if they're all in your place it stands to reason its somewhere there

LAD: u funnhy how on earth do you want me to know them ..when they dont come near my Home Kid s..i protect my kids from all this bad guy around

ME: so who is this bad guy?

LAD: i dont know them

LAD: baby !!!

ME: maybe give the girls whistles or chatity belts or somethingt

LAD: my fgirls doest misbehave

ME: well someone's misbehaving with your girls

LAD: noone

LAD: no one baby !!!

ME: so how the hell are they getting pregnant? divine intervention?????

LAD: hunny do you have my personal assitant information

LAD: i need to get something doing now

ME: only a name. what about some details??

ME: and i thought you were shoig me pictures of these girls

LAD: address...120 Allen Avenue Ikeja Lagos Nigeria

ME: and the name again?

LAD: DENNIS OLANIYI

LAD: TEST QUESTION ... MY BEST COLOR

ME: ok. and what about the email with the girls pictures

LAD: ANSWER.. BROWN

LAD: OK

ME: brown? no. i think pink is betetr

LAD: WHY ?

LAD: PINK

ME: cos i like pink

LAD: SO ANSWER PINK

LAD: IS THAT OK BY YOU ?

ME: i like pink

LAD: IS THAT OK

LAD: ?

ME: pink is great.

ME: do you like the pink?

LAD: ARE YOU USING WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAME

LAD: ?

ME: either will work for me

LAD: SO HOW FAR IS WESTERN UNION TO UR PLAVE BABY !!

ME: probably a 30 minute drive from here

ME: stillw ant me to call you?

LAD: YOU CAN CALL M E..

LAD: I DONT HAVE ENOUGH CREDIT ON MY PHONE

ME: ok. so do you want to hear my voice?

LAD: I NEED TO GET A CALLING CARD

LAD: YES I DO BABY !!!

ME: what nice things are you going to say to me when i call you?

LAD: so what tiem is it over there ?

ME: just gone 7pm

ME: my phone's almost charged now. then i can call you

LAD: its 8.13 here

LAD: ok i wil be expecting ur call baby

ME: ok. you know, i think you should have a little pet name for me

ME: what do you think?

LAD: yea ,,

LAD: what would you like me to call you /

LAD: ?

ME: hmm. snoopy? i like that name

ME: cll me snoopy?

LAD: ok snoopy

ME: nice. i thinkt hat's cute. don't you?

LAD: yea its

LAD: So snoopy ....i tink u got all necessarry information

LAD: 'right ?

ME: i think so. w ant to go over it one more time?

LAD: ok

LAD: what name di u write down ?

ME: i'm going to call you in a minute. just have to work out international calls

ME: remember. i like being called snoopy

LAD: ok am waiting baby !!

ME: hold on. bloody thing is playing up

LAD: snoopy ...do u have all necessary information

ME: i think so . lemme do this call. hold on. i'll call you in a sec, i hope you like my voice

LAD: k

ME: almost done

ME: getting three

At this point the call started

ME: SNOOPY!!! call me snoopy hon

LAD: snoopy

LAD: SNOOPY!!!!!

LAD: SNOOPY!!!!!!

LAD: SNOOPY!!!!!!!!!

LAD: SNOOPY!!!!!!!!

LAD: SNOOPY!!!!!!!

LAD: SNOOPY!!!!!!

LAD: SNOOPY!!!!!

LAD: SNOPY!!!!!

LAD: PALDDY

LAD: PALDDY!!!!

ME: woodstock

ME: all done

ME: you liek woodstock?

LAD: OK

LAD: TELL THE MEAN

LAD: MEANING?

ME: it's snoopy's friend

ME: little bird

LAD: OK

LAD: IC

LAD: U RIGHT SNOOPY

ME: good Very Happy

ME: pizza

LAD: Smile

LAD: <ding>

LAD: <ding>

ME: i still wanna se your woody scoot

LAD: are u there

ME: i wanan see your dick dastardly

ME: your woody woodpecker. you understand me?

LAD: lol!!

LAD: hello why is ur roomate disturbing you

LAD: ?

LAD: <ding>

ME: send it to me woody

LAD: i dont have it on my computer

ME: i wanna see it woody

LAD: How snoopy ?

ME: email? cut it off and post it to me?

LAD: lol!!

LAD: so just want to know if you are donation to my home kids..so we can plan ahead

LAD: <ding>

LAD: <ding>

LAD: are u there

ME: send me nked pics scoot. i want to see your dick. is tha tclear enough?

LAD: Sorry i cant

ME: please?

LAD: if that what will make you donate ...pls keep ur money

LAD: Bullshit

ME: huh? this is between us woody. none of th erpregnant girls habee to know

LAD: sorry i cant

LAD: am not cheap

LAD: ok

ME: how muc then hjom? i haven;t ben fusked in weeks

ME: m horny as fuck

LAD: k u wanna fuck /

LAD: ?

ME: ya i wanna fuck

LAD: ok go get a web cam

LAD: so i can see your wet pussy

ME: dont hav butr iys' wet for you hon

LAD: Ok ..

LAD: can you get one

LAD: so i can see ur wet pussy

ME: wen th shops are open

LAD: Ok

ME: how big are you?

LAD: when are you going to buy it?

LAD: tommorow?

LAD: 5"9tall

ME: i dn;t cae bout tall. how ig is your dik?

LAD: i dont know

LAD: but it Big Ok

ME: 2 ands?

ME: can you hols it in both handw when it s; big?

LAD: Yes

ME: mmmmm. can i suck it whwn itr's hard with both ehnds?

LAD: sure

ME: want to put it in my pussy?

LAD: yES ..

LAD: CAN I FUCK UR WET PIUSSY NOW

LAD: I WISH I COULD SEE UR WET PUSSY ..SO I COULD SUCK IT

ME: what do you like to do?

LAD: wanna suck you ..right away

LAD: can we talk about that on phone

LAD: ok '

ME: ever had your prostrate milked?

LAD: do u want it ?

LAD: can we talk on phone

ME: later maye. hav yyou ever had your prodtyat e milked?

LAD: Nope

ME: want me to tell you how?

LAD: yea

LAD: go ahead

ME: promis it wont freak you out?

LAD: it wont \

ME: sure? sos it gets realy kinky

ME: thre?

ME: woody?

ME: satill there?

LAD: yea

ME: ok. do you know abotu milking a man;s prostate? ever done it?

ME: do you know where your prostate is?

ME: no? yes?

ME: still there woody?

LAD: Snoppy i have to run now

ME: why? i was about to make all your dreams com true

LAD: So when are you sending the funds to the Ophanage Home

LAD: ?

ME: now when did i say?

ME: nihht. i'm gointg to sleep

LAD: <ding>

ME: youre not interetstd. i can tlll

LAD: intrested in what

ME: i want to mke you cum like no one else ever has

LAD: So let me know if u areing the money

LAD: ok

ME: wednesday. bank holiday remember

LAD: Can you make it Tommorrown

ME: what??? i already told you it's a fuckingn bank holiday

LAD: tommorrow ?

ME: yes tomorrow

LAD: k

LAD: so when are u ?

ME: when did i say?

LAD: Wednesday ..

ME: so why are you asking about tomorrow

LAD: never knew bank will not open tommorrow

ME: here it doesn't til wenrsday

LAD: Ok

LAD: so you got the information

LAD: right ?

ME: ir's all saved yueah

LAD: Ok

LAD: So how much do you want to send ?

ME: you said 700?

LAD: Yea

ME: so 700 ok?

LAD: $ or pound

ME: for fucks sake woody 700 pounds

LAD: ok

LAD: So can i have ur address

ME: that'll do you yes?

ME: you can have my ass first

LAD: so what ur address

ME: cariff domthing

LAD: where is that located ?

ME: wwlales

ME: bybye

LAD: are u leaving ?

ME: kisses . bye

LAD: So can you email me your full address

LAD: buz i will b e needing that to recieve the funds

LAD: ok

LAD: <ding>

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 12:06 am

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 12:20 am

Hahahahahahaha!

Shocked

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007 12:35 am

That was the funniest bit of radio I've heard in a while, having Wayne feeding him in YIM at the same time he was trying to listen to a drunken Snoopy was hilarious

Very Happy

Elite Baiter Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1979

Once again I'm pimping mugus for Wayne. This was my lad I've been working for weeks!!

Believe me, after the show . . . my baiting character, Catherine, made his day a whole lot worse. I was going to post this in the romance section, but since Wayne got here first I'll add to his.

Flushmynutz (aka Criss Angel) you are the Justin guy mentioned in this chat. I don't know if you remember a few weeks back we were talking about sending him on 5afari and I gave him you're email address.

5imba, I've been working on him for a 5afari to Benin-Panjeri. As you will read here, I'm still on that one. My character is an artist and I've just shipped, via L.O.S.T Co. all my painting supplies, canvasses, digital cameras, cell phones and laptops to the camp prior to my arrival on January 27th.

Justin was in cahoots with my IT guy Brian and we sent this guy a Western Union transfer of $800. Another baiter played Usman and chopped his dolla. Now the love of his life (me) has turned ugly on him. He REALLY has had a bad day.

Oh and further more - you guys will love this - he had another woman on his myspace page that I warned about him being a scammer. Too late, she had already sent him money! So tonight I sent her a link to Scoot's radio talk show debut! Twisted Evil

I hope her revenge is sweet.

So here's our marathon chat (which BTW, took place alongside of Wayne's as he and I were chatting and comparing notes!):

Lad: <ding>
Lad: hello baby !! are u there
Me: Why the hell did you call my cell phone and leave so many frikken messages while I was in church!!
Lad: i just want let you know that am online ok
Me: One message would have done the job. I am so pissed I only wanted to come onilne to chew your ass out!
Lad: lol!!! dont be Hunny am sorry Ok
Me: Sorry ain't gonna cut it. You were being an asshole
Lad: you been insultive i dont like that
Me: You don't huh? Well you were being an asshole when you called me over and over and over
Lad: that Ok I said my sORRY OK
Me: You must have called 20 times and left what 6 messages? Normal people would take a hint after the second call. Do you have any clue how annoying that was that my phone kept going off in CHURCH!!
Lad: ok i would do that next time ok
Me: There won't be a next time! Lose my number!
Lad: BUT U NEVER EVEN TRIED TO CALL ME FOR ONCE you complent about me calls
Me: You want too much. First you lie to me and tell me you have plenty of money, then you tell me I have to call YOU when I've told you I can't afford international calls and then you beg money off me all the time! You know what Scott. I found out something about you today.
Lad: what ?????
Me: You don't even have a fucking orphanage! You're a filthy, abominable, low life disgusting scammer and you've been lying to me all along. I know! Brian and your 'friend' Usman have told me the whole thing!
Lad: So you belive pple
Me: Yeah when they show me proof
Lad: i never collected ur penny what was the proof s that are using that to collect funds from you
Me: No but you wrote back to Usman! He sent me copies of your bragging and insults
Lad: Not Me i told you they are all hacker they stole pple id i told my lawyer about this
Me: NO, they only had MY password that was all
Lad: his taken all our coinservation ok
Me: Brian knows Usman is a scammer in Nigeria
Lad: it taken this case up So why should you allow Brian to giver out ur Information i am highy dissapointed in you
Me: I didn't. He did it to show me that YOU were not who I thought you were
Lad: O my God
Me: OH AND YOU DON'T THINK I'M NOT A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU??
Lad: They are given you fault about me they stole the mon ey Brian and Usman
Me: Brian only sent $100 to Usman. I have $700 of my money back. And it sure as shit ain't going to you!! And I've rehired Brian!
Lad: Ok you don�t even trust me ion the place first
Me: No, that's where you're totally wrong. I trusted you. It was Brian and Justin who didn't trust you. Turns out they were right. You made a fool of me!
Lad: that wrong. they never liked anyone around you.. they wanted you ..
Lad: But i think i have been Honest with you so far
Me: Really?? Tell me the name of your orphanage? You send me some PROOF and I'll believe you and send you the $700 PROOF! I want a picture of YOU standing in the middle of your orphans.
Me: Hahaha! You can't do that, can you?
Me: Liar!
Me: Bastard!
Me: GOAT FUCKER!
Lad: are u there
Me: you can't see??
Lad: see what ?
Me: that I am still here
Me: Who are you??
Lad: my computer is messing up
Me: like its owner
Lad: Am Scott
Me: No, you're not
Lad: Ok ..so i think i should let you belive Brian and Justin
Lad: ok, So pls can you let Be k
Me: They told me you're really Nigerian
Lad: that Funny So you belive that Anyway am not i own my Orphange home
Lad: tommorrow ? <--- he meant to type that in Wayne's chat window!!
Me: I wish you'd have been honest with me from the beginning. God, I have to spend at least 6 months in Africa now because of you. How were you going to pull off being a white guy when I got there??
Lad: So you dont belive me ?
Me: I did believe you but too many things don't add up
Lad: like what ?
Me: Like you begging for money. You told me you had a foundation that handled all that. And that whole western union fiasco!! Normal people have banks Scott!
Lad: Am not Begging for Money
Me: bull shit
Lad: I told you have invested most of my fund in the Oil Rig Bussiness
Me: with contracts you said you put my name to and conveniently never produced copies of. I know you're not a white guy.
Lad: Ok ..
Me: You know what, I might have even liked you as a black guy and still wanted to meet you when I came to Africa, if you'd been honest with me from the start!
Lad: So i think i have stick to ur justin and brian ok
Me: You know I am going to need contacts there but now I can't trust you.
Lad: ok
Me: Are you even really single?
Lad: Yea am single
Lad: Ok
Me: How old are you?? Is any of that stuff on Myspace true???
Lad: yea they are
Me: Then why the hell couldn't you just be yourself?? Why did you have to do all this shit to me??
Lad: Hunny .. am sorry i dont mean to do this
Me: What were you going to do when I got there next month?
Lad: Are you going to invite me ?
Me : WTF?? I needed you? You were half the reason I was coming there!!
Lad: what WTF?
Me: What the FUCK = WTF
Lad: do you still need me ?
Me: Yes, I can't back out of my plans for Benin now. You promised you were going to help me
Lad: Yes .....
Me: So tell me what you were planning on doing with me?
Lad: So how do you want me to help. just to be with you
Me: I want you to be honest with me.
Lad: take you around and shoe you nthings over here
Me: You know damn well I wouldn't recognize you at the airport, now don't you?
Lad: i dont know Baby!! you see to be Hinest with you ...i want you here with me. So do you still Love me ?
Me: I don't know who you are!! You never gave me a chance
Lad: how do you mean ?
Me: If you're not going to tell me the truth then fuck no, I am not going to even tell you where I am when I get to Africa. Because I'm not going to keep playing games pretending you're some sexy young white guy that I was infatuated with. You think I'm dumb, don't you??
Lad: Ok ..so i think i have to let you go if you cant even allow mw to express myself ok
Me: ok
Lad: am a young single
Lad: hello u there
Me: yes
Lad: A Nigerain By Birth
Me: I believe that. How young?
Lad: 39yrs
Me: So why'd you make out to be 47? To attract rich horny old ladies?
Lad: nope ... i need someone older that me
Me: why?
Lad: i belive older pple are more caring
Me: okay
Lad: and loving
Lad: i have offened you ?
Me: no
Me: candor appeals to me
Lad: wht?
Me: honesty
Lad: So do you still like me ? do you still want me a ur baby!!!
Me: I don't know yet. I told you at the beginning that intelligence means a lot to me. Scamming me was not smart. But you did fool me well enough to get my ass out of the US again for painting. Let's say I reserve judgment at this point. Sometimes intelligence is sly. So what do you really do for a living?
Lad: i Am Computer Scientist
Me: Seriously???
Lad: Yea
Me: Don't start jerking my chain now.
Lad: Am sorry i read it on University am serious i know it will be very hard for you to belive me now but am telling you the truth Ok
Me: Yeah you read about it on a University web site. If you were a comp sci, you wouldn't be working in Nigeria. You'd really be here in the US, pullin down $200K a year.
Lad: why did u say so ?
Me: Where'd you degree at?
Lad: Just in seacrh for Job
Me: Where did you get your degree?
Lad: are u there
Me: yes
Me: oh quit! You sure have a piece of shit computer for a comp sci
Lad: Yea i do.. i got OND in Computer Sci.
Me: OND?
Lad: So do want me to get over there Yea
Me: Hell no! You've got me going to Africa on the 25th of January!!!
Lad: So what your plan for me Hun.
Me: I don't know. I guess I don't even know anything about you except you're the only person I know speaks English and knows his way around Africa.
Lad: k
Me: What is your real name?
Lad: Olaniyi Ok
Me: Nice to meet you Olaniyi.
Lad: You too Have decided to be real with you ..
Me: Do you have a resume?
Lad: so be free with me
Me: I have been
Lad: what do u mean by resume?
Me: You know the papers you give to a prospective employer that tells all your job experience and personal facts.
Lad: do u want to employ me?
Me: probably
Lad: Buz i think i need one
Me: I planned out 6 months of my life in a foreign country. You owe me something for that. The least you can do is be honest and help me when I get there.
Lad: ok i will be
Me: Will you put together a resume for me?
Lad: but be honest with me too
Me: I have never lied to you!
Lad: yea i know
Me: It's not even in my nature.
Lad: but justin will not like me
Me: No he won't.
Me: but he works for me, remember?
Lad: he wouldnt want to see me around you am sure of that i feel very bad for telling you lies am sorry Ok
Me: and I don't give a rat's ass what he thinks. I am still pissed with him and Brian for screwing with my computers and email, even though they did do me a favor. Brian said I wasn't going to believe it any other way, but what they did was still an invasion of my privacy. K, well Olaniyi, let's start over, shall we? Only now you're going to have to work a little harder to prove your honesty and earn my trust. You willing?
Lad: Yea Am very Sure for lying to you Sorry fot lieing to you
Me: Apology accepted.
Lad: thank you
Me: So will you do a resume?
Lad: Yea if that what you want
Me: You have Microsoft Word don't you?
Lad: So what do you want to have in my Resume?
Me: THE TRUTH!!
Lad: Nope
Lad: I WILL !!!
Me: Olaniyi? Are you sure you want to stick with the computer scientist story?
Lad: Yea Am a cOMPUTER scientist OK
Me: And you don't know what a resume is or don't have MS Word? And your computer is a piece of crap.
Lad: i dont have ms word on mjy laptop Yea that why i think i need another one
Me: I'm not getting warm fuzzies about this Olaniyi, Anybody in the computer industry has Word. So tell me again, what do you really do for a living? Keep in mind that I already know Brian is close with Usman. I can verify what you tell me, you know?
Lad: but i cant instore that on my computer it has low memory space
Me: this is getting old. It's not instore it's INSTALL but you should know that because you're a computer scientist, right?
Lad: A computer Scientist in seacrh for job
Me: and you're wanting me to believe that a computer scientist is willing to work as a travel guide for me??
Lad: when i dont have a job that just the bad state of the country
Me: Look, Olaniyi. I like you. You've been a lot of fun. Would I ever sleep with you?? Probably not, but I do think you and I could both help each other out when I get there. Probably I could even hire you. But you have to know that I'm going to watch you like a hawk. It will be a long time before I trust you.
Lad: but am telling you the truth now
Me: And you never know . . . I am single (if you really are) and don't look my age. Maybe I would sleep with you.
Lad: Are u going to come to Nigeria ? So u can see me in person..
Me: You know I am! I've already spent thousands of dollars on this. It was supposed to be for a year, remember? But all I've got the funds for now is 6 months. I'm taking the chance that the canvasses I send back will be sold for enough to fund the rest of the year.
Me: I have to go. God, this is the longest I've ever sat at a computer chatting with anyone. I haven't eaten since 6 am this morning. I don't know what you're doing, but send me an email with a detailed resume in it. If you need a template - Google is your friend.
Me: Maybe I'll catch you tomorrow. Bye!

Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 8:46 pm

Once again HUGE kudos to 419weasel for being able to talk to scoot again. If you didn't listen to the radio show HERE then you missed a treat. If you did, this is the setup to Scoot's amazing banana based phone call this week.

ME: come talk me to woody
BANANA LOVING LAD: hellloooooooo
[ ZoneAlarm Security alert: Session not encrypted because BANANA LOVING LAD is not protected by IM Security ]
BANANA LOVING LAD: am here
ME: hi. my phone's still charging. that's why i can only send texts. give it a bit tho and i'll call you
BANANA LOVING LAD: Ok Snoppy
BANANA LOVING LAD: i did receive your text
ME: good. i couldn't answer you. phone's not charged up enough yet
BANANA LOVING LAD: OkSnoppy
ME: what have you been doing today?
BANANA LOVING LAD: I went to Church in the Moring
ME: and in the afternoon?
BANANA LOVING LAD: i went to the Beach
ME: nice. did you wear shorts?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Yea
BANANA LOVING LAD: i did
ME: ooh!!
BANANA LOVING LAD: yea
BANANA LOVING LAD: So how about you ?
ME: were they short shorts?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Yea
ME: OOHHH!!!!!
ME: Wink

BANANA LOVING LAD: Very Happy

BANANA LOVING LAD: How about you ?
BANANA LOVING LAD: where did you go to today ?
ME: it's raining here.
BANANA LOVING LAD: ohhhh
BANANA LOVING LAD: So you were indoor all thru ..?
ME: shame i wasn't there with you. i could wear my bikini
BANANA LOVING LAD: So u like to go to beach ?
ME: i love going to the beach
ME: wear something skimpy, get a tan. i love it
BANANA LOVING LAD: Thar Nice
ME: would you rub oil on my back for me?
BANANA LOVING LAD: So i will love to Invite you to Africa on of this days
ME: but will you rub oil on my back for me
BANANA LOVING LAD: yea Snoppy
ME: nice. what about rubbing some on my chest? i don't want to burn
BANANA LOVING LAD: So would you come over?
BANANA LOVING LAD: I will do that
ME: i will come over. will you pay extra attention to my nipples? we mustn't let them burn
BANANA LOVING LAD: Lol!!!
BANANA LOVING LAD: Sure i will rub it
ME: are there any nudist beaches there?
BANANA LOVING LAD: I dont Know ...
BANANA LOVING LAD: I need
ME: hmm. would you go to a nudist beach with me?
BANANA LOVING LAD: to ask My Friend if
BANANA LOVING LAD: there Is
ME: would you go to a naked beach with me?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Yea if that what you want
BANANA LOVING LAD: i will
ME: good. have you ever made love on a beach?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Nope
BANANA LOVING LAD: how about you ?
ME: a few times
BANANA LOVING LAD: with who ?
ME: with an old boyfriend
BANANA LOVING LAD: Wow!!!!
BANANA LOVING LAD: Did you enjoy it ?
ME: it was brilliant. you'd love it
BANANA LOVING LAD: REALLY !!!!
ME: oh yes. do you like being on top of underneath when you make love?
ME: ????
ME: <ding>
ME: WOODY!!!!!
ME: not talking to me anymore?
ME: where the hell have you gone?
BANANA LOVING LAD: <ding>
ME: where'd you get to?
BANANA LOVING LAD: [ ZoneAlarm Security alert: Session not encrypted because BANANA LOVING LAD is not protected by IM Security ]
BANANA LOVING LAD: Sorry i got a bad connection
ME: ok.
ME: i thought i'd scared you off
BANANA LOVING LAD: LOL!!!
BANANA LOVING LAD: sscared me off ??
ME: well iasked you whether you liked being on to pand you vanished
BANANA LOVING LAD: Nope i did answeresd you
BANANA LOVING LAD: i like you been on me
ME: i didn't get it
ME: so you like being on the bottom?
ME: gone again?
BANANA LOVING LAD: nope
BANANA LOVING LAD: YEA
ME: ok. what else do you like?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Can you give me blow jobs
ME: absolutely. i love sucking dick
ME: what else do you like?
BANANA LOVING LAD: like to suck you
ME: do you like kinky stuff too?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Yea
ME: ever had your prostate milked?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Yea
ME: yeah? did you love it?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Yea i do ..
ME: ever done it the REALLY kinky way?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Yea i did
ME: what did you use?
BANANA LOVING LAD: I used my dick
ME: oh hon, let me tell you a secret i know about ok?
BANANA LOVING LAD: Go ahead
ME: ever had someone use a banana in your ass to milk your prostate?
ME: it gives men the most explosive orgasm ever
ME: still there or did i freak you out?
BANANA LOVING LAD: can you do that for me ?
ME: i'd love to. as long as you ask me to do it for you
BANANA LOVING LAD: Yes i will love it if you can
ME: ok. hold on and i'll call you in a minute

At that point the radio show called him, Weasel spoke ot him and ...................... just have a listen. Laughing

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