Quite possibly the worst leter I have ever seen

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I've been dealing with a Mr. Kess3nger (or he sometimes calls himself "Kess1ng"), and finally got in touch with the Barrister. The entrance requirements for being a Barrister in Nigeria must be pretty damn low. I think I've been passed down. Thank you soooo much Eliza for sending this lad to me.

Quote:

DEAR MR AGN3S SKINN3R , (Mr??)
HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY, WE ARE WRITING TO INQUIRE FROM YOU AND KNOW IF YOU HAVE SENT ALL YOUR BANKING INFORMATIONS TO THE BANK, SO THAT THERE WILL NOT BE ANYTHING AT ALL TO DISFIGURE YOUR TRANSFER.

SINCE THE BANK HAS CONFIRMED THIER READINESS TO HAVE YOUR MONEY TRANSFERD, YOU ON YOUR OWN PART HAS TO CONFIRM YOUR OWN READIINESS TO RECIEVE THE MONEY BY SENDING THE FILL OPPENING FEE (That's a new one on me) WHICH IS $655.00 DOLLARS AND CHANGING OF THE OWNER SHEEP [/b](I've bought a sheep now?) WHICH WILL COST YOU $750.00 DOLLARS,AND THE TOTALL IS $1405 DOLLARS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

[b]BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU BEEN HEARING FROM YOUR REPRESENTATIVE, THE WISE OLD MAN MR KINGER, (Now he is Kinger? How many names does this guy have?) DID HE KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE SENDING HIM THE MONEY WHICH HE WILL BRING DOWN HERE TO US, SO THAT WE SHALL SEND SOME COURT OFFICIALS TO THE BANK MANAGEMENT TO WITNESS YOUR TRANSFER? TELL YOUR REPRESENTATIVE THAT IF HE WISHES HE CAN BE AMONG THE TEAM WHO WILL GO TO THE BANK TO WITNESS YOUR TRANSFER.

AS WE HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT YOU SHOULD DO EVERYTHING WHICH YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, SO THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO RECIEVE YOUR MONEY LIKE OTHER FORIEGN INVESTORS WHO HAS BEEN DEALING WITH THIS OUR HUMBLE COUNTRY WITHOUT ANY PROBLEMS. (At least they are humble)

SO IF YOU KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE THIS TRANSFER TO BE UNHEALTHY, DO NOT DO IT, (??????) SEND EVER INFORMATIONS THAT THE BANK WILL NEED TO HAVE YOUR MONEY TRANSFERD TO YOU.

WE SHALL BE WAITING TO RECIEVE THE FILL OPPENING MONEY FROM YOUR REPRESENTATIVE, THE WISE OLD MAN, WHO HAS BEEN SHOWING HIS GENTLENESS SO FAR, (I don't know why, but that one cracks me up) AS SOON AS WE HEAR FROM HIM WITH THE MONEY, WE SHALL IMMEDIATELY SEND OUR SENIOR CLERK HERE WITH TWO SECURITY OFFICERS TO THE BANK WITH YOUR MONEY, SO THAT THEY WILL WITNESS YOUR TRANSFER AND BRING BACK THE RESULT TO US, THEY WILL BE THERE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR TRANSFER WORTH $1405.000 WILL BE EFFECTED WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM OR DELAY,WE ARE WAITING TO CONFIRM EVERYTHING OKAY BY YOU.

YOUR FUND WILL NOT TRANSFERED WITHOUT CHANGING OF THIS OWNER SHIP SO FOR THAT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT CHANGING OF THE OWNER SHIP.

MAKE SURE YOU DON'T FAIL THE TRUST WE HAVE IN YOU
REGARDS
Barr M1cheal 5abath.

I love this guy. He could possibly replace Dan at the top of my man-crush list.

Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 4:55 pm

Well, what�s the problem then? Very Happy

Why not showing some gentleness to send him the fill oppening money from or to Mr. Kerringkissinkinger, who was a wise old hen, and help the humble lawyer, who has three clerks and security people. I�d do everything for an owner sheep, even if it�s changed Laughing

I guess the problem is to be earnest, because you don�t want to disfigure anything, do you?.

Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 5:16 pm

Your mugu seems so honest. I do believe that you hava a chance to
send a representative to witness the official transfer. Tell your mugu that your will be sending your lawyer with the money. Ask him where is the nearest airport and have your mugu meet your rep. Laughing

Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 5:22 pm

Sometimes, they provide their own parodies. I doubt anyone could have written a worse letter on purpose!

Congrats.

Frame it! Wink

Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 6:21 pm

Quote:

THE WISE OLD MAN, WHO HAS BEEN SHOWING HIS GENTLENESS SO FAR,

@Jay...

It is only fitting that you purchased SHEEP with the help of the "gentle" old man.
Now what are the chances of getting a death threat out of the "gentle" old man? Laughing

Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 9:18 pm

I think since Agn3s is a nice little old lady and Mr. Kess3nger is such a gentle old man, a potential romance might be in the cards.

Maybe Agn3s can ask the barrister to set her up? Laughing

Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:28 pm

Jayhawk wrote:

....BY SENDING THE FILL OPPENING FEE (That's a new one on me) WHICH IS $655.00 DOLLARS .....

Jayhawk, your esteemed Barrister has obviously been frequenting some Ladies of the Night in the seedier parts of town and just wants to recoup those expenses. Wink

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