Santa and the Shipping Business

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Master Baiter Joined: 31 Oct 2007 Posts: 130

Each year, without fail we in the shipping business our fair share about things like "I bet Santa would not have lost this package" - and a variety of similar jabs proclaiming what a great flawless delivery service the fat guy runs.

In the name of fairness, we present some FACTS concerning his aledged deliveries...

[url][/url]

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 11:39 am

And Rudolph is a blackleg, as he's not a bone fide paid up member of the flying reindeer sleigh-pulling union.

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 1:51 pm

Rudolph is a "she"
The horns in winter-time give it away. Shocked

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:30 pm

I want to see Santa's tax report.

With all that production, he must have immense write-offs, but since he's not filing his costs, if he hasn't applied for some kind of VAT exemption, he's looking at 200-300 years with Bubba.

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 7:42 pm

Santa has outsourced to a company that uses big, brown trucks due to the overwhelming work load. Cool

Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 6:43 am

You forgot to take into account the "bowl full of jelly" factor, that thing absorbs G-Force like Lad absorbs abuse.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Shortly before the invention of the aeroplane it was proved that heavier-than-air flight was impossible.

Because nobody ever observes Santa, his exact position is never known and therefore he can use quantum uncertainty principles to spread himself over a significant proportion of the World's surface at the same time. That area travels west at 900 miles per hour - well within the capability of his propulsion system and not dangerous to life and limb. Likewise, the presents do not need to be in the sleigh at the same time. All that is necessary is that the North Pole is always within his area of uncertainty, although an astute operator would set up caches of presents around the World ahead of time, and I have not heard that Santa does not do this.

Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 1:58 pm

its magic.... didnt any of you see the movie "the santa clause" that explained everything. now i have to go write a letter to the easter bunny asking for more mashmellow peeps and less of those cream fill eggs for next year.

Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:34 pm

sais it all really Very Happy

Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 7:24 pm

L.O.S.T? Arrrggg. Don't get me started on shippers. I've been tracking a shipment from Hammacher Schlemmer via DHL for two weeks. Last week the tracking said that the facility was closed. Humm... What does that mean? Was I not home? I found out that at 10:30 in the morning a DHL driver was too lazy to wait in a United States Postal Service line to drop off a package and logged that the USPS was closed. Whats even more silly is that DHL does not deliver to the door according to their customer disservice line. Why would someone pay to have an item shipped extremely slowly across country only to then have it put into the post office system? I asked the customer service rep since my brother got his Christmas gift delivered to his door by DHL last week what was his new story? One purchase, two tracking numbers, two stories, two lies and my Christmas present from my Mun still has not arrived.
This beats the 6 days it took Airborne Express to next day air deliver a package 8 miles to my house. On the 6th day, I got a phone call telling me it would be three more days as they did not deliver on weekends. I told them to send it UPS so that I could get it on Saturday. When they refused, I had to tell them to simply return it to the vendor, I would buy the item from somewhere else. It was delivered in under an hour.

Santa and the Shipping Business	View next topic View previous topic