Oh crap the FBI are after me

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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:59 pm

Looks like the lads work with the fbi Laughing

Quote:

Attention. Mr. Ted Crilly,

We are obliged to inform you of the report reaching our office yesterday from the Director of BANCO POPULARI DE MILANO, Italy, notifying this office of the approved payment granted

On your favor by their remittance department.

After receiving these information from the bank, we immediately investigated the authenticity and existence of the funds, and we confirmed that the payment aroused as an inheritance funds through Mr. Mayor Edwards of Papua new Guinea, who was suffering from a terrible health situation.

And based on the light of the confirmation from our investigation, we were made to understand that your payment has been approved and programmed to be paid to you for a very long time now, but you failed to comply to their directives for obtaining the necessary documents to facilitate the remittance of the fund to you as advised by Mr. Mayor Edward.

Moreover, in our further investigation, we realized that the fund was to be released to you based on a condition that you would fulfill an obligation as desired by Mr. Mayor, therefore we advised that you should not breach the agreement between you and Mr. Mayor after you have received the inheritance payment from the bank, as you were aware of the consequences in breaching an agreement in the American constitution.

So this authority hereby advised that you should comply with the bank to enable this fund transferred to you as we have confirmed that the fund was from a legitimate and genuine source.

You are required now to contact the bank consultant Mr. Harry Spencer, and proceed in completing the arrangements of remitting the fund into your Bank account in America as they have programmed.

You can always count on us in case of any difficulty, so we can guide and direct you accordingly on the way forward.

Sincerely,

Robert s Muller

Director FBI

[mod edit: unnecessarily large text changed to quote - KD]

Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:03 pm

You'd think the FBI had enough on its plate with GWOT, but no; some minor hassle with a bank transfer is sufficient grounds for federal intervention.

BTW, what yahoo account is Mr Mueller using?

Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:11 pm

This is a very fun bait i have going at the moment i keep refusing to send him the fee he needs so he sent the FBI, pm me if you want his email

Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:15 pm

I've received a few threatening emails from Robert Mueller. It's always amazed me that someone with such poor English skills could be appointed to such a high-level position. Laughing

But at least he takes the time to help out foreigners with their banking problems. Nice guy. Wink

Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:40 pm

Bob Mueller contacted me twice early this year, but his messages came in the middle of a flurry of Chalres Soludos, Tunde Lemos, and a whole heap of other officials.

First he was helpful:

Quote:

This is to inform you that this office has been dully intervened on the release of your fund and we have mapped out to verified and investigate properly of Inheritance funds and Winning fund/ Contractors funds.
There is no need of wasting your time because from the meeting we helded yesterday with the Africa European Union Binin Republic, We all agreed that all forign contractors owned by Federal Republic Of Nigeria should be received there fund through there office in London or Coutonou but we still thank God that we still suceeded in paying some contractors in Japan and we are still praying that every contractors will received there fund on or before the end of this month.
This is to inform you that the office will contact you as soon as possible and to let you know that your file has been sumitted to the above office.
Please,Be aware of this any order contact from any bank should be ignore before you loose your fund.
Urgent get back to us.
Faithfully Yours,
FBI Director
Robert S. Mueller, III

But after I replied -

Quote:

I'm totally confused. As far as I knew my payment was being made from the United Bank of Africa, having been shifted from the Central Bank of Nigeria. Now you seem to be saying that it's been moved again, to the FBI.
Please clear this up!

- He got a bit riled:

Quote:

This is to inform you that this office has been dully intervened on the release of your fund and we have mapped out to verified and investigate properly of Inheritance funds and Winning fund/ Contractors funds.
This is to inform you that from the investigations we did on saturday evening when we received your mail and this morning been monday about your fund, you said is in Bank Of Africa in Bokinafaso which till now our Agent in Africa cannot trace it in that bank you said.
I hope you are sure you are dealing with the scammers in that country because they only bank that has the right to know where you fund is the Central Bank Of Nigeria and the President Of Nigeria after them no order body is surpose to know about it.
Now listen your fund is not surpose to be in our office but because of all this fraudsters and scammers that full every country,using people to make money on there own.So,the senate committee(USA) decided to have a one on one meeting with the Nigerian President and after the meeting they decided to bring us in to the matter so that is how we caming to put a stop on them.
Please dont be confused because this fraudsters has fustrated a lot of people i know you cant understand and i know you have not spent money on them and you are lucky we came in fast into your matter.
So the only advise i will give to you now is to stop comminicating with they said Bank of
Africa for now bacause the investigations is still on till we get hold of them.
Be aware that they people you are dealing with are not working in that bank and the are not bankers.
Be informed now that United States Senate is aware about this.
Update us what ever conclusion you have with the Africa European Union.
Warning: In your own good and best interest you are advised to stop forthwith any communication or dealings that you holding with any Offices or Banks that falls outside the above stated instructions. Federal Bureau Investigation will not hesitate to investigate,prosecute and convict anybody found violating our good efforts to forestall normalcy this current dispensation. ThIs message is for your eyes only, any attempt to dispatch or forward it to a second party amounts to obstruction of Federal investigation.

And after I replied -

Quote:

While I have the utmost the respect for your position, I am not happy with your change of policy.
You wrote: "This is to inform you that from the investigations we did on saturday evening when we received your mail and this morning been monday about your fund, you said is in Bank Of Africa in Bokinafaso which till now our Agent in Africa cannot trace it in that bank you said."
But in yesterday's message you wrote, "In a meteing with the managment of the Bank of Africa in Burkina Faso, It was resolvd that all foregn contractors owned by Federal Republic Of Nigeria should be payed there fund though that Bank".
Mr Mueller, from my childhood I was brought up to see the FBI as the most competent and best-organised law enforcement body in existence. What I am seeing now is total confusion!

- I never heard from Bob Mueller again.

Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 4:31 am

Quote:

Date: Sat, 15 Dec 2007
From: "new York" ([email protected])
Subject: FROM THE F.B.I DIRECTOR MR ROBERT S. MUELLER ,111
To:xxxx

New York Field Office
Federal Bureau of Investigation
26 Federal Plaza
New York, New York 10278

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
J. EDGAR. HOOVER BUILDING WASHINGTON D.C

15/12/2007 Notice European date format

ATTENTION: xxxx.

I have a fax massage from General xxxx that you have not yet send him
the payment so you are advised now to send us the paymant via western union or
money gram and e-mail us the payment information immediately.

NAME: xxxx
ADDRESS: ATLANTA GEORGIA
SENDER'S NAME/ ADDRESS
AMOUNT: $1000
MTCN#...

Note: that i don't want any further question towards this payment, so you have
to go and send the money now with the given to you above is my agent name and
get back to me with the payment.

Awaiting for your response with the payment details.

Faithfully Yours,

FBI Director
Robert S. Mueller, III

Master Baiter Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 158

Quote:

15/12/2007 Notice European date format

Hey hey - I am not european! But it is the 16th Razz

I'd so love to see the FBI involved with a bait that has absolutely nothing to do with the US. European Vic, Nigerian Fund, African Lad. It would be wonderful to get them off script to scramble for an explanation on why they are even involved.

** ACCOUNT CLOSED ** Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 766

Quote:

Federal Bureau Investigation will not hesitate to investigate,prosecute and convict anybody found violating our good efforts to forestall normalcy this current dispensation.

This is sig worthy in and of itself.

Quote:

ThIs message is for your eyes only, any attempt to dispatch or forward it to a second party amounts to obstruction of Federal investigation.

Ooooo! You are pretty fucked now!!!

--J.D.

Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 11:09 am

You should say your goodbyes to everyone now. The Feds have been dully intervened. Laughing

Sometimes they combine everyone they think you might fear or respect. I've had [email protected] on my ass in the past.

Master Baiter Joined: 05 Sep 2006 Posts: 170

The worst part is that somewhere, sometime, someone actually fell for this kind of tripe. Otherwise the lads wouldn't use it... More than likely *several* someones...

*sigh*

Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 3:25 pm

I'll just throw this out here. In the highly unlikely event that any of you are contacted by the "FBI" and the IP of the originator is in the US, please pm me. I might be able to do something with the info. Wink

Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 4:45 pm

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

It's always amazed me that someone with such poor English skills could be appointed to such a high-level position.

Have you ever heard our President speak?

I got a great email from "The President of The FBI, New York Division"
They included their address (in a REALLY bad neighborhood in Harlem) and info about which subway line and stop to take.

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:59 am

WhiteKing419 wrote:

Quote:

Date: Sat, 15 Dec 2007

15/12/2007 Notice European date format

The US military uses this type of format. They also use the 24 hour clock... Wink

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:20 am

WhiteKing419 wrote:

The US military uses this type of format.

I thought they used yyyy/mm/dd, actually (at least, I've always heard that referred to as "military" date format. Yes, I knew that they used the 24-hour clock (I am always amazed when people can't understand that). And don't they try to use "klicks" rather than those funny mile things?

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:02 am

We've all received one or eight e-mails from the FBI, but let's not be to hasty to critique old Robert S. Mueller here. THAT guy is a hard-working individual, running a large office and has no time for the lads or their victims. He probably worries about bigger things, like lunch with the CIA or dinner at the Kremlin and stuff.

Using the Farce, I have come up with a perfectly logical explanation for all of this: See, there's a janitor at the FBI named Robert Muellers (note the S), director of non-paper recycling, and HE is the guy writing all these messages. As you may know, the FBI doesn't pay their cleaning staff very well, nor do they give them their own official "@FBI.gov" e-mail addresses. Our guy, Robert MuellerS, gets paid $0.25 apiece to write these e-mail messages for the lads. Everyone has to make a living don't ya know.

Sure it may sound crazy, but he is in good company. There's Jean Valdez the coffee-picker, Marlon Monroe the actress, and let's not forget Gene Slimmans the musician/business mogul in Los Angeles!

Hey... it could happen. Rolling Eyes

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