Third Anniversary Safari - (Video p. 63)

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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:06 pm

Good stuff there, Eliza! Very Happy

Quote:

There are many protocols involved in the United State Visa Procurement

You can say that again, Ed! Laughing

Quote:

I was asked to send the filled united state visa application via mail post.I've just done that today

Well, I hope he's telling the truth and actually sent it. I'd rather he spend the $81 and Fedex it, but I'll still be happy to have the hard copies by mail if he goes the cheap route. Of course, with the Holidays and all that I'm afraid there's no way the visa officials will be able to process his form prior to the deadline. (And, of course, if he does Fedex it and get it there in time, it will be rejected because it's in pencil.)

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:23 pm

Quote:

I willing to scarfice more for your love.

That's good to know, since Ed will likely be scarred more in the near future Smile

I also wonder what has happened to Ed's real-life wife. Surely he didn't drag her through all this as well.

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:27 pm

Eliza_Doolittle wrote:

I hope you aren't allergic to my pussy; it's so sweet. I can't wait for you to come pet it.

I think this thread needs a NSFW note Wink

That's classic... Laughing

Trophy Videos · Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:44 pm

Eliza, the crying audio was hilarious! Ed is such a schmuck! Laughing

All you guys and gals are doing a great job on this "Bag Of Rocks."

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 3:27 am

Have you ever felt EMBARRASSED for someone?

IF not - - here's your chance: puke

Quote:

Sweetheart,
How are you today?..I tried calling you all through the night yesterday..It rang,but there was no one on hand to pick my call..It was really fustrating..Why are you finding it hard to respond to my mail?..It really hurts me..I need to talk to you..Below are some peom,I composed for you..I hope you will love them..I look forward to your response.
Love
Edward Smith

MERRY XMAS AMY...
Merry Christmas to the one I love,
Even on this day of love for all,
Remembering the love of one whose call
Redeemed all those whose hearts his love might move.
Yet only one love does my spirit prove,
Chosen in a passion like a squall,
Having in such ecstasy withal
Rejoiced in what we were created of.
In such love do we find our way outdoors,
So to be drawn to love of flesh and soul,
Traveling beyond our village green,
Moving towards the wash along our shores
As our love joins the greater love unseen,
Shining with dark passion on the whole......

.........................................................................................................................................

AMY LETS KISS..FOR CHRISTMAS

Let�s Kiss For Christmas,
For our love is strong,
Let�s Kiss For Christmas,
Together is where we belong,
With passion so much brighter,
Than any sparkling light,
We�ve waited so long,
And prayed for this night,
Let�s Kiss For Christmas,
Let�s Kiss For Christmas!
.......................................................................................................................................
AMY YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY HEART

You're the first thing I think of
Each morning when I rise
You're the last thing I think of
When I close my eyes
.....................................................................................................................................
AMY...I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

Amy....You're in each thought I have
And every breath I take
My feelings are growing stronger
With every move you make
You're an angel from above
who takes away my pain
My love for you is so strong
It's always just the same
You're the miracle in my life
Who can always make me smile
Just knowing that you care
Makes my life worth-while
Amy...You've touched my heart and soul
Which you have from the start
Your warm soft words
Will never leave my heart
Amy...You are everything I want
You're so pure and true
I love you with everything I have
And I love everything that you do..I love you...Amy

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:23 am

I don't know why this guy is scamming, he already has a legit business writing love poems under the name Nicholas Gordon ..... Smile

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:44 pm

Eliza, you should call him on his plagiarism... slap him for it.... a nic... Christma...>SLAP<

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:27 pm

Yeah, it's real sweet of Ed, but you really want him to prove his love with 100% risky free original work.

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 10:58 pm

In Ed's last email to me, he seemed to be taking it for granted that there would be another extension to his claim date, given the relative ease with which I'd secured them before. I've just given him a mild kick in the plums for now, just enough to get his blood pressure up a bit...

Quote:

Dear Mr Smith,
Please inform me at your earliest convenience if you will be available to collect your inheritance on or before the expiration date of 31st December 2007, and at what location this will take place. I am sorry to say the court is reluctant to issue a third extension on the claim date at this stage.

Yours in service

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:21 pm

The second poem is credited to someone named Trade Martin

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:25 pm

I was going to stall another day but I'd really like Ed to get off his lazy butt and get those visa forms out to me. So I just replied to his begging email from a couple of days ago:

my character wrote:

I am deeply disappointed in you. Begging is not only unseemly, but rude. I thought you really wanted to come to the US, but evidently you're not willing to take the effort required. Instead you would rather impose upon me yet again. Well, I'm sorry but this is a very busy time of year and I have a lot to do. I simply don't have time to race all over town to do your work for you.

Surely you aren't trying to tell me that a ridiculously tiny amount of money is an obstacle! That's absurd. How irresponsible are you that you don't have some money in your savings account? In any event, I happen to know for a fact that your father has lots of money. He contacted me about it over three years ago. If you are so financially incompetent that you need to beg money from him you don't have to travel to his village to get it. I'm told that there are some money transfer services that will wire money instantly. One quick phone call and he could send money to you in seconds.

In any event, it's all up to you now. I have done my part. In fact I have done more than my share. It's time for you to take some responsibility. If you are serious about coming here you had best get moving, and quickly. Don't keep whining to me, just do it! Keep in mind that I do have a life, and a family to think about. I have a lot to do and I can't spend all of my time doing your work for you, holding your hand, and wiping your nose. You are a young man, you need to start thinking and acting like an adult and not a small boy. I'm tired of your complaining, do I make myself clear?

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:10 am

Ok guys - -

What kind of Tattoo would look good on Ed?

FJB needs to know:

Quote:

Dear Father John Black,
Thanks for the mail..I really appreciate all that you've done for me and Amy..Iam gratefull!..May the Lord continue to bless you.I talked with Amy yesterday over the phone.Iam really worried about her present state of mind.She cried all through our conversation.I was really touched.I couldn't hold back my tears.Like you rightly advised,I have started sending her peoms.Amy loves reading my peoms.I know she really needs my company at this point in time.Iam trying all I can to get an entry Visa into the United States.I've started processing my visa into the united State.I guess..you are familar with the strenous procedures visa applicant encounter in the procurement of an entry visa into the United States especailly from a Third World Country like Nigeria.As it stands,it wouldn't long before I get it..I will be very happy,If I can get the Visa before Xmas and New Year,because I would love to spend the Xmas and New Year... Amy.She has gone through alot of emotional for the past couple of month.I would've love to surprise her with my coming before the Xmas and New York.She will not be happy,if I don't make over before Xmas and New Year.I just hope I do get the visa before then.Sir,what do you suggest?.. I do at this point.
I am planning on wedding Amy as soon as I come over to the United State.Sir,I want you to be the Priest that would wed us.Although,I've not discussed it with Amy.But I believe she will love idea.Sir,at the moment I want you to try and to Amy on my behalf.She may not understand the procedures involved in visa application from Nigeria.Let her know that I will soon be coming over to join her.How do I convert to your to your church?..You Know, Iam a pentecostan..I want start worshipping with your Church.I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith.

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:20 am

A tattoo declaring his undieing love for Amy of course! THAT should burn a few years from now when it's all said and done. Must get it in a place he can see all the time too.

Are you guys going to put this guy through EVERYTHING? Laughing

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:24 am

Eliza, how about telling him that you read somewhere that the visa requirements will be changing starting January 1, and will be much more complicated. Tell him that if he wants to get a visa, he should do it soon or he may not be able to get into the country at all.... He needs a serious fire lit under his lazy butt.

As for the tattoo, I'll have think about that one a bit. Very Happy

(How about a picture of a goat, with "PWNDBYEATER" on its side? All we need is to think of what that acronym stands for.)

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:47 am

How about the emblem of Amy's name - - the way it is printed on the Bible she was given at her Baptism???

NSFW

Not responsible for any keyboard accidents that may happen after viewing this either...

http://members.419eater.com/~eliza_doolittle/tattoo.jpg

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:26 am

Well....

I... um...

I suppose if he objects you can launch into a teary, long email about how he hates her because he thinks her emblem looks dirty. Embarassed

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:54 am

Quote:

Are you guys going to put this guy through EVERYTHING? Laughing

You're joking, right? Wink

Ed does everything of his own free will, unfortunately for him, his free will is rather weak and maleable. That's not our fault. His greed blinds him.

Where there is a smidgeon of will, there will always be a way to get Ed to do anything. Very Happy

Mod Edit: quote tags corrected.

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:08 am

HAHAHAHAHA! If 3d gets that done, hahahahah, you will have accomplished more with him than is fair for any one person to accomplish! And, you know what, I bet he does it.....

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:54 am

Fake visa apps and tatts are great fun and all that, but do we want him to get to the USA? For this, he'll need to get himself a real visa at some stage of course. Safaris really hurt lads. After 3 years and three months, I'm pretty sick of Ed, and happy to let you guys have him. However, with him still chasing his money, it's hard to put him down, and at the same time, it's hard to pursue the bait with all of us pulling in opposite directions. My side of this bait remains boring, which is why I don't often post my correspondence with him, but I'm still pushing him toward the airport. One more safari, and I'm out of here.
We mustn't lose sight of the fact that he's a thieving, greedy little bastard and not a poor, love-struck fool who just wants to be with his girl, and I get the feeling that's what we're in danger of putting across here.

He can get to South Africa easily. A trip to Johannesburg is several thousand miles for Ed. There'd be just as much entertainment for us all down there too, I reckon.

Quote:

Dear Mr. *********,
Sorry it took me very long to respond to your mail..My business is taking its turn on me nowadays..I hardily find time to access my mail..At this point,I don't think I will be able to make my trip to the bahamas and the united states on or before the 31st December,2007.I've just submitted my United State Visa Application form..I've not applied for the Bahamas Visa,because it is compulsory I can get an onward visa into the United State or Canada before I will be allowed to apply for their Visa.There are other easy options for me like South Africa,but I wouldn't to take any risk..Iam been very careful in choosing our my meeting point,because of our my last experience.I wouldn't it to repeat itself..For now, security wise the United State and the Bahamas is the ideal meeting place.My united state visa application form is still been processed.I applied directly to the united state visa procurement center in New York and I've filled and returned the forms.I believe it is going to be ready by January or atmost Febuary.
Sir,at this point it important you give this reason to the court.This is definitely going to be the last date extension.We are going to be taking from the court..Please,try as much as possible to get the date extension and let me know the legal cost.I await your urgent response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith.

Quote:

Dear Mr Smith,
If all else fails, we can arrange the meeting in South Africa, and for an amount this large, I can arrange private security this side to accompany our lawyer to Johannesburg, and take care of you during the signing over of the estate, and afterwards if need be. The security company we use are ex-US marine, very discreet and capable.

In the meantime, I will do all in my power to arrange another extension, but I have to say the court is not well-disposed toward this at present.

Take care, and have a good holiday season.

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:19 pm

Quote:

Sweetheart,
Iam very happy to have received your response.I was beginning to get nervous..It really touched deep inside me,when I learnt you are involved in raising money for the less previlledged in the society..I was really moved..I must commend you for your good work.There is nothing that gives joy like helping the needy..It is my routine every year to donate bags of rice,tins of vegetable oil,tin of tomatoes,bags of salt,toileteries and cash to the orphanage and less previlledge homes in my location before Xmas year.
It is my dream to set up a charity foundation that will cater for the less previlledged all over the world..Darlin',Iam proud of you..Keep up the good work..The good lord will bless and protect you always..Tell me more about Malky?..I love pets..When I was young I had a Dog called Daisy..I was found of the dog..Anything she senses Iam moody..She comes around to make me happy..She died years back..It was really painful..When the dog died..Do you like Dogs?..Iam really happy to see that you are spending most of your time in the Church with God..I hope you are putting me in your prayers.I want you to always put our relationship and marriage in your prayers everyday..Commit my plans of coming over to the united states to join you and every our plans and dreams together to God.Ask God to strengthen our relationship.Ask for the strength to overcome your fear , troubles and difficulties..Ask for Wisdom,Knowledge and Understanding.Ask for victory over our enemies.Ask for victory over the forces of darkness.Ask for success and prosperity.Always pray for the less Previlledge in the society. Ask God to take absolute control.Ask God to bless our marriage.Read your Bible always especially the Psalms of David..Darlin',there is power in prayers..It works magic..Iam a living testifier of the goodness of God.
Darlin',Iam really grateful for the Laptop and the other gifts you bought for me for Xmas..Iam in short of words..right now..All I can say is I love you..Did you get me some clothes and shoes?..It really hurts that I will not be spending the Christmas with you..Look at what I want you to do for get a digital video and photo camera with a large memory card ..I want you to take many photo snaps of yourself dressed in different types beautiful and sexy clothes..Take a video of yourself and sent the digital photo/ video camera with the mermory card in it along with the my Xmas gifts.Please, use DHL, FEDEX , or UPS courier services.I will use the digital camera to take photo snaps and video of myself and younger ones during the festive period and inturn scan and forward the pictures and video to you..Do you like the idea?.I guess,you remember my new address..Just incase my new address is (snip). with my name 4NYAEJI EDWARD SMITH...PHONE NUMBER : (snip)...INT. PASSPORT NUMBER : (snip). Please,make sure you scan and send the shippment receipt and tracking number as soon as you make the shippment.Thanks alot...I love you.I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God Bless.
Edward Smith.

Quote:

Dear Ed,
I've been thinking of our wedding. I really want to be married in the Bahamas. I am having problems getting you documents to get into the Bahamas, though. People want you to do it yourself.

All you need is a passport and a Visa. Contact these people:
The Bahamas
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
Consular Section
Norfolk House, Frederick Street
P.O. Box N-3746
Nassau, Bahamas
Phone: 242-323-5578/5565
Fax: 242-326-6186

They should help you secure a visa.

I am putting this in God's hands. Please do all you can to get to the Bahamas ASAP. Call today. Then email me and tell me what you find out. If you can't get this done, our relationship is over. I can't stand being without you any longer. I'm so tired and so stressed and so depressed. I need you here. I can't just live with my cat for the rest of my life. I'm thinking that since I already spend a lot of time at the church, if you won't be my husband, I may just become a nun.

Love,
Amy

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:25 pm

@PDS: you raise some good points. I wasn't aware you were still pushing for another safari. Coordinated action is certainly essential. He seems to trust my character, but of course she's not in a position to be aware of Amy or the inheritance. But if there's any way I can help push him toward a safari I'd be more than happy to do so.

If he does follow through with the visa application it won't really have any negative bearing on getting him a real one. Since I've told him this form will be obsolete on Jan. 1, it would actually be very simple to switch him to a real application. I've just been screwing him over with the normal time and money wasting modality, but if there's another safari in that lazy bast*rd, we definitely need to squeeze him.

He's your lad, I'm more than happy to move any way you want! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:57 pm

Don't get me wrong, it's great spectating too, and the input from everyone's been inventive, funny,refreshing, and it's kept the bait going too. It looks like Eliza wants him to try for the US or Bahamas, so I can either work with that, or we can get him down to South Africa for some fun and frolics before he sets off across the Atlantic, since his visa will be a while. It's all good, but once everything falls into one place, he'll be airborne again soonest.

Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:44 am

I think my last email lit a fire under his ass..

Quote:

Sweetheart,
I am very happy for providing me with the address of the Bahamas Ministry of Foreign Affair. I've just called the consular section of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Bahamas Republic.I was advised to contact the nearest British Embassy in my location for entry visa enquiry into the Bahamas.I will be contacting the British Embassy via email as soon as Iam through with this mail.I want us to get married in the Bahamas.I've never been there.But I heard it is a very beautiful place.It will be a dream come true..You don't seem to understand how dearly I need you..If I had wings,I would have flown over immediately to the united state to join you..Amy..I want to spend the rest of my life with you.The thought of losing you makes me go
crazy.I can't imagine my life without you.It will be worthless.Darlin',promise you won't leave me..Promise you won't let go.I will be come over very soon..You are
going to be my wife not a Nun.Iam not relenting..All I need is your assistance and support.All hands should be on deck.
I have a second plan..I guess,that will be the easiest way out.But first,let me make the Bahamas visa enquiry from the British Embassy.Darlin',I want you to keep my plans of over the Bahamas to yourself.Keep it to yourself at least for now.I want my coming and our marriage to be a surprise to many people.As regards your favourite christmas peom,I am going rewrite the peom on a sheet of paper.I will send you the scan copies.How is your charity work going?.Be strong in prayers.I will get to you,immediately I've sending the British Embassy a mail.Please,try and call me.I love you.I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith.

Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 2:11 am

This is a great read. What hasn't happened to 3d? A tattoo or obscure chruch ritual? A short film involving goats?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 70

Personally I think sending him to the US or Bahamas is actually doing him a favor. If he suceeds and gets there even if he wastes his time he could easily disappear into society. Many Africans are always trying to get to places where the life is good. I think South Africa, Zimbabwe or somewhere ala Yeawhatever should do the trick

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