Lads know the true meaning of romance

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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 1:20 pm

I've been having a tentative and "will we, won't we?" sort of relationship between my female character and an inheritance scammer. We've been through many ordeals and they've only strengthened the feelings between us, I'm sure.

Friday, however, my character found that she had lost her job (after promising to pay some delivery fees when she got paid on the 10th---what rotten luck, huh?), so she poured her heart out to the lad and begged him to help.

This is his reply. What a sweet guy! He knows what's important at times like this.

J0seph wrote:

Sir/ Madam, I love that personal opening!

This is to inform you that I am so busy here in Lagos but surely darling you know their will be time for writhing you of course you know I love you dearly, I don�t want to know what happened but that�s it you lost your job not your life and I warn you I don�t want to hear you have a psychological break down you better stop it now the earlier is better. In other words, stop your crying, you whiny little bitch, it's not the end of the world.

Similarly, we have to do something to get your inheritance soon tell me they must have given you a pay off normally if the terminate your job. Tell me how much you have now so that I see how we start doing things to release your fund.

Darling I lover you so much I watch your photo every day its here I my desk top, baby will you like to marry me. Let me know your answer and try to get gbp400.00 (four hundred pounds) so that we try and ship your card by Thursday 13th of December. = "Will you marry me? Oh, and send some money, eh?"

Waiting for your urgent response my dear wife and don�t Cray again I am by your side precious ho11y.

I suspect he writes verses in greetings cards as a hobby.

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:38 pm

Quote:

tell me they must have given you a pay off normally if the terminate your job. Tell me how much you have now so that I see how we start doing things to release your fund.

Lover boy deserves a safari into the Sahara.

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 8:23 pm

Or perhaps sterilization. Evil or Very Mad

Romance baits make me the angriest.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Code:

... wife and don�t Cray again I am ...

What's he got against Robert Cray?

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:49 am

Unfortunately, his scolding has caused a further and more intense psychological breakdown and a lot of uncontrollable crying. You are extremely distraught and can not possibly think about getting and sending money. A sincere and heartfelt apology is the only thing to get you out of your breakdown. Slap this lad around until his head is spinning like a top. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:10 am

J0seph wrote:

Sir/ Madam, I love that personal opening!

This is to inform you that I am so busy here in Lagos but surely darling you know their will be time for writhing

The only one that needs "writhing" is this bastard.

Of course, in your grief and with your fragile mental state being what it is, you sent the money via WUX to Ghana or Niger instead. Oh, and your dyslexia from childhood came back because of all the stress he has forced upon you.

B

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:39 pm

It gets worse.

I replied and told him that I'd been given just one week of pay as my final payment from the company, and that there's no way I could pay this month's rent now, so could I stay at this house while he's in Nigeria? (He's claiming to be from the UK, currently in Nigeria for business.)

His reply this morning:

Lad wrote:

Sir/ Madam, He still doesn't know what sex my character is?

This is to inform you that I have received your mail and is very ok that your becoming yourself and tiring to make out good from bad, darling don�t make me to cancel this appointment and come back to UK to marry you, write now aim in short of money I have to receive some due payment soon.

Meanwhile, you have to se what you do I will allow you to stay in my house but you have to assist to make approvals of your inheritance.

Note: this is very serious you have to find a way and sale some of your stuff and send me the required GBP480.00 (Four hundred and Eighty pounds) so that we arrange everything and I will make a place for you will your inheritance is been approved. Sell some of my stuff???

I wait for your reply so that I will give you the payment name to send the money.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:40 pm

You better have a garage sale, and sell your antique Barbie Dolls, then. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:42 pm

This lad needs to become gynephobic. Twisted Evil

B

Baiting Guru Joined: 17 Sep 2006 Posts: 5905

Quote:

= "Will you marry me? Oh, and send some money, eh?"

Now why didn't I think of asking my wife to be to do that before we got married Wink

Probably because it would have ended with me getting a belt around the chops I suppose Laughing

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:29 pm

Well, he agreed to let me stay in his house in the UK while he's on business in Nigeria, but apparently I have to send him money first:

Husband-to-be wrote:

Precious Ho11y you have to send me the value of GBP300.00 (Three hundred
pounds) today so that I can finish up some other this like my sanitary overdue payment in my residence and the Gardener so that no body will disturb my wife when you get there.

Yes, he's in Nigeria on business and I have to send him �300 so that he can pay the gardener and his "sanitary overdue payment" back here in the UK. Not sure how that works, but whatever...

I tell him that all my stuff is packed up in a removal van, and I'm living on the barest of amenities in my empty and soon-to-be-someone-else's house, so can I puh-lease have the address to give to the removal company?

Husband-to-be wrote:

TO: Ho11y,

Sir/ Madam, Perhaps he doesn't want to know what sex my character is so it's a nice surprise when he first gets into bed with her on their wedding night.

This is to inform you that I have received your mail and I cant believe that after all explanation you really understand this as an ultimatum, darling I love you and I know you love me too, your write aim working but understand me I just bought a property in west palm beach Miami Florida USA for usd350, 000.00 (Tree Hundred and fifty Thousand dollars) and that left me with a lot to meet up with, I really want to make it up to you. Typical man! He can spend $350,000 on some big boy's toy, but can't afford �300 for the essential gardener and "sanitary" payment!

Please, I want you to go into my house without stress, tell me if you don�t have the whole GBP300.00 (Three hundred pounds) please send GBP200.00 (Two hundred pounds) today so that I will make it up and clear the bills and I will send you the address tomorrow after receiving the payment information�s.

Please my dear assist me so that we help each other I will take you to my property in America this Easter vacation coming April for our wedding.

Waiting for your payment information�s my dear.

Waiting for your urgent response.

Wedding in Miami? YOU'RE ALL INVITED!

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:53 pm

Don't they have hurricanes in Florida in April?

and hell, �200 to clear up his mess? I'd have paid double to get my ex out of the house and cleaned up myself

I hope he loves you sincerely, deeply, and will provide you with everything

orange blossoms in the invitations?

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:01 pm

Quote:

sale some of your stuff and send me the required GBP480.00

Perhaps you could get rid of your internet connection and sell your laptop to him to cover the money Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:10 pm

I was thinking of asking him if he'd be okay if she sold a night with herself on eBay as that would be sure to raise more than what she'd get for her worldly possessions.

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:45 pm

Or perhaps as you sell your things over ebay, you never receive payment. Complain about being scammed. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 6:44 pm

Punctuation is very important, and his latest email made that clear.

Horny lad wrote:

Sweet Ho11y you can write me your dreams but be a little soft I want to feel you but darling I need your naked picture so that I can past you on my bed aim feeling to lonely, I want to see you every day that I wake and before I sleep. Make sure the picture shows your whole precious body and the main part don�t worry I will delete it after printing and tell your mother, which is my mother in-law to take care of you till I come. I will pay up the cost I know in January I will get some money towards ending.

Now, is that:
- Make sure the picture shows your whole precious body and the main part. Shocked

Don't worry . . .
Or:
- Make sure the picture shows your whole precious body, and the main part don't worry . . .
?

And also:
- I will delete it after printing and tell your mother Shocked

, which is my mother-in-law . . .
Or:
- I will delete it after printing. And tell your mother, which is my mother-in-law . . .
?

Very important.

But as for my character being past on his bed... hmm.

Oh, and this didn't start out as a romance scam, but it drifted into being like one.

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