Third Anniversary Safari - (Video p. 63)

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:23 pm

I blows me away that Eddie can afford to spend three weeks in Singapore and do absolutely nothing, while he cannot even afford to buy a pen to fill out a couple pages of documents Laughing

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:38 pm

@eliza - in that las email he sent you im surprised he didnt say something like: "I like to think of your love as a WU transfer" or something along those lines... Laughing

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:46 am

So, Amy decides to compose a long, long - love letter to Ed:

Quote:

Dear Ed,
I am sorry that I haven't responded in a few days. I've been very depressed. I've just gone to work and then gone to church and sat and prayed. I am asking God to give me strength, as I keep having nightmares about being kidnapped. The trip we took has really changed me. I'm always afraid when I hear noises, and I feel so sad and empty. My therapist says I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Are you familiar with that? Click on this link to find out about it: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml It is very important to me that you get to know about how I am feeling and why. Please read that website. Please!!!!!!!! My therapist has said that she thinks you need to know about this and need to help me be able to become me again. I need your help, baby!

My therapist has been helpful. She has me writing things down so that I can think about how I want my life to be.

I also went to the animal shelter today and adopted a cat. I named him Malky. He's a white cat, and he's very sweet. He has been sitting in my lap all afternoon, and he likes me to pet him. This is why I chose him. He is really sweet. I hope you aren't allergic to my pussy; it's so sweet. I can't wait for you to come pet it.

I called and told them about your application for a US Visa, and I was told that I can't send it back. You have two applications and they are the same. One needs to be filled out and turned in 45 days from the day that you had received the first, or you will not be able to get into the US.

I also asked about the Bahamas Visa, and I have been told that I cannot get it for you. You must request that it is sent straight to your address. This way they ensure that the person receiving the application is the person who is really trying to apply to get in. They said that if you want one, you will have to pay shipping, and it will have to be mailed to you. So you will prepay for the shipping, and then it can be sent. I don't understand why the rules are this way, but they are the rules - and we don't want to be making people mad. We need to obey rules and be able to be together soon. That thought is the only thing keeping me going these days.

Christmas is coming, and I am not in the Christmas spirit. I've bought you some gifts - along with a new laptop that I think you will really like. I'm sorry yours blew up. I got you a new one, and I also got you an external drive, so you can store information on it. The computer is not a PC, it's a Mac - you know - an Apple - - I am going to have iTunes downloaded on it. You can then get music and sync it with the iPhone that I bought you. You can then take music and videos - tv shows, etc, with you everywhere you go. I can't wait to be able to give you these gifts - - and I know - I need to shut my mouth and not be talking about all I've bought for you - so I'll let the rest be a surprise. I'm also going to compose a new poem for you for Christmas. You have inspired me with the one you sent. I love reading the Bible, and Solomon is one of my favorite sections - When I saw you had read the Bible and composed that poem, tears came to my eyes. I felt this urge to share it with all my friends - anyone who would listen - they all had tears, too. One of my friends was so moved she choked for a moment. You have to warn women about things like this - and some men, too - - those waterworks can ruin electronics. It was such a touching act of kindness. Thank you, my love!

I need to go now. I'm really tired. I want to go to sleep. When I close my eyes, I am going to picture you lying next to me.

I love you.....

Amy

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:28 am

Aww......

That's so touching............... Wink

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:01 pm

I could hear the "woe is me: as I read all of that, nice stuff. While your in the ipod shop get him one of long bannana shaped things that vibrate to the music. They are all the rage so I hear.

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:44 pm

Ed's getting ready to send another trophy. Very Happy

He filled out the full 50 pages of Peanuts devious form, then scanned and emailed them. That kept him busy for a long time. But the authorities can't accept scans. After all, how can they verify the fingerprint he had to put on every page? So now he's going to send me the originals.

Ed wrote:

I will be going over to the Fedex office in my location tommorrow..It is going to cost me alot of money to send the forms through fedex to the United States.But I will try see what I can do.I will get back to as soon as Iam back from the Fedex office tommorrow.I look forward to your response.
God Bless You.
Any4ej1 Edw4rd Sm1th.

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 10:43 pm

Hahahahah! Ed is my favourite lad. May we all end up with Eds in the coming year!

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 11:21 pm

Ed has also composed a new chapter in a book for me. There's some good Sig material in here!!

Homer - I think Ed would like George to call him and wish him a merry f*ing christmas, shithead

Quote:

Sweetheart,
Iam very happy to have received your response.I just gone through the link in the mail you sent to me.I want you to know that I understand exactly what you are presently
going through..I went through the same problem,when you were kidnapped.The thought of losing you and together with the thought of the danger you were facing at that particular
almost drove me mad.During that period,I find hard to sleep..I hardily get appetite to eat.I cry and pray everynight .I couldn't go out to hustle,because I wasn't in the right state of mind.I was pre-occuppied on how to rescue you.Life at that particular period was worthless.At a point,I almost committed suicide..because I couldn't imagine life without you..But somehow,something in me keeps assuring me of victory and each time you call me that period my assurance of victory keeps going stronger.I believed that the fight was
for God..I had strong in God..I knew he was going to deliver you,because he has never ever failed me..
All through those period,my friends and relatives were very supportive..My driving force at that period was God and you..because,anytime Iam about to lose hope,I get a call from
you.Frankily speaking,those period was the darkest part of my life.However,I thank God that everything is over..Iam grateful to George and most especailly Doug..Douglas was a
very good man..I really miss him.May the good lord grant his soul enternal rest.As regards George,I've not been opportuned to really express my gratitude..George and I don't get
along..He doesn't seem to like me.I don't know why.I've tried all my best to make friends with him,but all to no avail.Everytime he calls me all I get from him is insults and
threats to my life.He calls me different kinds of names like worm,shit head etc.It is really embarassing..I did complain to Doug,when I was Singapore.He advised me to always tolerate him.
Rightnow,I've decided take a break in my business..For now, there will be no more travelling from one part of the country to another,so that all my attention will be diverted
to you.From now,I will constantly be in touch with you.I will be really happy,if you could do something about your phone..I want to be talking to you everyday.I want to fill that
emptiness in you..Darlin',you are very precious to me..Infact,you are priceless.You are my soul mate..Love has created a very strong telepathic bond between us that have made us one.Whenever,you cry it affects me indirectly.It makes me moody.It really hurts me.My joy is your happiness.By the specail grace of God,I will soon come over to live
forever with you.Our marriage is fast approaching..Start thinking about our home..Start thinking about the joy of becoming my wife.Start thinking about the joy of becoming a
mother.I believe by now you have realised that,God have already ordained our marriage..No forces..I repeat no forces in this universe can stop it.Imagine,what we went through for
past few months.The plans of our enemies was to destroy our marriage..But they failed..Instead the experience of the last few months strengthened our relationship.It has increased our love for one another.
Meanwhile,we still need to be careful..I want you to keep my plans of coming over to the United States and the Bahamas Republic to yourself.I want us to take our enemies by
surprise..It is really important..Our wedding is going to be a surprise to them.However,as regards the United States Visa Application forms that you sent to me..Do you want me to fill
them?.Like I earlier mentioned,I have filled and sent one to them before.Is it right for me apply twice?..Are you asking me to fill the U.S Visa Application Forms you sent?.As regard
to the Bahamas Visa,I want you to go and pay for the shippment with my name(ANYAEJI EDWARD SMITH) and Address(edited out)and send the forms to me.The Bahamas Republic doesn't have an embassy in Nigeria.The Bahamas embassy in Cuba email address I saw in the internet is invalid.I've sent them mail on several occassions,it keeps bouncing back as undelivered mail..At this point,Iam
confused..I thought easier for you to get me the Bahamas Application form..By now,the United State must have started processing my visa..But I know,it is going to take some
time...that is why..I had wanted to apply for the bahamas visa,because I thought it will easier and faster to get.I want to spend the Xmas and New Year with you.I want us to get
married as soon as possible.I really want us to be together before the year runs out.Please,try and see what you can do about the Bahamas visa..Thank you for the gifts you bought for me..I can't wait to see them.I can't to hold you in my arms.I guess,you love the peom I composed for you.I got the inspiration from the Songs of Solomon in the Holy Bible.I love reading the Bible..I read the Bible every morning and night.My best books in the Bible are the Psalms,the book of Jeremiah,the book of Isaiah,the Songs of Solomon,the book of Ecclesiastes,the book of Proverb and the book of Revelation.Darlin',I want continue pray hard for the success of our marriage.With Prayers nothing is impossible..Please,call me..I need to talk with you.Darlin',I will always love you.I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God Bless.
Edward Smith.

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 12:32 am

Love it

Quote:

something in me keeps assuring me of victory

na just a few baiters

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:29 am

Oh, Dr Doolittle, that is too long for a signature, but what part could you isolate in preference to any other part? Hahahaha! And, remember

Quote:

my joy is your happiness.By the specail grace of God,I will soon come over to live
forever with you.Our marriage is fast approaching..Start thinking about our home..Start thinking about the joy of becoming my wife.Start thinking about the joy of becoming a
mother.I believe by now you have realised that,God have already ordained our marriage..No forces..I repeat no forces in this universe can stop it.

No forces! None! It's a done deal! Ask him if he will taake your last name, though....

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 2:24 am

This guy has been strung along for over 3 years, I wonder how long we can continue to keep him going? He's in for one HUGE letdown when the other shoe finally drops.... He's going to be totally destroyed. Twisted Evil

Ed wrote:

God have already ordained our marriage..No forces..I repeat no forces in this universe can stop it.

Wanna bet?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 70

UNBELEIVABLE!!! Just finished reading all 86 pages. WOW. If this dude dedicated his time to something else he could actually be successful. One thing I can give him is he is focused, ambitious but extremely daft.

The best way to end this bait is if finally Amy says she has one final secret and she doesnt know if Ed can ever forgive her... then she sends Ed a naked picture of a transexual Twisted Evil

He might commit suicide then and wonder what he has done with the last 3years of his life

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 2:47 am

Perhaps not the force of the universe, but definitely the force of the internet. It's hard, Juan, to wait for the ending explosions I know, but then the fun's over!

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 3:07 am

Quote:

he best way to end this bait is if finally Amy says she has one final secret and she doesnt know if Ed can ever forgive her... then she sends Ed a naked picture of a transexual

He'd actually off himself. "Hi, my love, we can be together, soon. Sorry I didn't make it to the Bahamas. I think you should know I have been modeling at http://www.chickswithdicks.com..."

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 4:01 am

Ohhhhhhhhhh just saw that 3 days ago, Ed responded to FJB:

Quote:

,
Iam very happy to hear from you..Iam it took me long to respond to your mail.Nowadays,I hardily find time to access my mail due to the nature of my business.Iam always on the road...To make matter worst my personal laptop that I carry around,when Iam on my business trip blew up due to high electric voltage.I can only access my mail,when Iam in town.First of all,I thank you for your concern and most especially your advise.I really grateful.Amy..means alot to me..I will try as much as I can to make happy..I understand what she is going through right now..She went through alot emotional trauma,when she was kidnapped.She saw many horrible things..By Gods grace with time those horrible memories will fade away. Everything will soon be over..Iam doing everything I can to see that I make to the united state before the Xmas and New Year.I want to spend the Xmas with her.I want Amy and I to get married as soon as I come over..
Please,no man is island...as they say..Please,I will appreciate your advise,since you are a specailist in romantic affair..Sir,I will also appreciate if you can from time to time try and Amy out of fear..Please,give her advise that will help to liberate from her fear..I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Quote:

Dear Ed,
May you be filled with the spirit of Jesus during this Christmas season. It's beautiful outside. The church is prospering, and we have had a lot of people converting. It always puts me in a good mood when we have lots of new people finding their way to God. I feel like the good shepherd with a prosperous flock.

This weekend is going to be exciting. The cub scouts and boy scouts will be selling Christmas wreaths in front of the church. The kids have been working so hard to pay for summer camp next year. They just spent this week collecting food for the poor, and next week, they will move the food from our church pantry over to the homeless shelter and feed the homeless. I am in such a good holiday mood to see these young children doing the work Jesus taught us to do.

The best advice that I could give you is to write love poems to Amy. Hand write them, and scan them. This way she can print them and have something you created to cherish. I know she enjoys your poems, as she told me about them. Also, do you know of any romantic books? Take the romantic parts, and you can copy those and change the names of the people to Amy and Ed. Then send those to Amy. When she sees the tenderness in what you are writing, she will begin to ease up and not have a fear of having sex. She's really modest and embarrassed with her body, and now she's scared after what has happened to her on the trip. I'm glad you are here to be able to help her. That is so very sweet of you, and it further puts me in the Christmas spirit.

One other thing you could do to show your love is to have her name tattooed on your arm. You could maybe do the symbol for our church and then have her name by the cross? However, I don't know how much you love her, and people usually only do that when they know that they will be with the other person for the rest of their lives. Most of the people in our church don't get these tattoos until they are in their 30s. However, I've been surprised to see some of the younger members with the church sign tattooed on their skin with the name of their lover. I just pray that they stay together. Young children don't know the struggles of adult life and the sacred bond marriage creates.

When will you be marrying Amy?
I would love to be the priest who marries the two of you. Where will the wedding take place?

Remain blessed,

Oh and as for the transsexual thing - Yes - when we finally give Ed the push over the cliff - it will be showing him that amy is a hermaphrodite....but that will be when they are "OLD" people.... LOL

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 5:07 pm

Oh, I hope Ed follows the good Father's advice and gets a tattoo! Very Happy

Ed just wrote me, why am I not surprised by this?

Ed wrote:

Iam just coming back from the
Fedex,DHL and TNT Offices in my location.I thought their
delivery charges will be within my reach.But to my greatest
surprise,their delivery charges is far above what I have on
me right now.As it stands right now,Please I want you to
assist me by going to the nearest Fedex office in your
location and pay the charges on my behalf ( with my name
ANYAEJI EDWARD SMITH).Tell them the content of what I am
sending from my location which is ENUGU STATE, NIGERIA to
you,so that they can give the exact charge of
delivery.Please,endeavour send me details immediately you
make the delivery payment,so that I can give them the form
immediately for onward delivery to you.I will stop here for
now..I will be awaiting your urgent response.
God Bless You.
ANYAEJI EDWARD SMITH.

A slap is about to be delivered. Obviously he isn't serious about this.

EDIT: I just wrote back.

my character wrote:

You know, you really make me angry at times. I just don't understand you. Are you serious about coming to the US or not? Do you have any idea how much time, effort, and money I have put into this little project, trying to help you? And you just won't take the necessary steps to help yourself. For God's sake, how much can it cost to send a few pieces of paper? It's not as if we're talking about shipping a car! I think you are just being lazy again, expecting me to do all your work. It's not enough that I printed out the entire document, went personally to the Federal Building in Seattle, stood in line for an hour, and it was all a big waste of time. Now you want me to waste more time trying to find a Fedex office and filling out paperwork for you? This is ridiculous.

I'm sorry, Edward, I simply don't have time for this nonsense. I am leaving in 15 minutes to go to Vancouver with my daughter to do some holiday shopping. We will return on Tuesday evening. I can't go chasing all over town trying to find a Fedex outlet, I have my own life to think about.

If you want to come to the US you had better get your ass in gear. Time is running out, those forms will be obsolete as of December 31st. If you don't submit them quickly we'll have to start all over again. Is that what you want?

If you're serious, you had better get moving. As I said a week ago, I'm getting tired of your constant delays and excuses. I am trying hard to help you, but you have to be willing to help yourself.

Have a good weekend.

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 7:46 pm

I am brand new here, and you all have me HOOKED. What you are doing is AWESOME! Two thumbs up

I am taking notes, and look forward to sharing some success with you all in the near future. Smile

Keep up the great work.

bow_down

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 2:28 am

Ed spent some money on phone calls tonight!!

Oh - and Amy cried and cried and cried - kept Ed on the phone. LOL

http://media.putfile.com/amy-120907a

http://media.putfile.com/amy-120907b

Quote:

Sweetheart,
How are you today?.I hope you are well?..Darlin',Iam really worried about you..I've not heard from you for the past two days.It is 02.44am over here in Nigeria..Iam finding hard to sleep..Right now,Iam on my immediate younger brother home computer.Iam thinking about you..Iam really missing you..I need to hear your sweet voice..I've tried calling your cellphone,but all to no avail.It is really fustrating..I've been staring at your photograph..You know what my love.."You are a beauty goddess"..You are flawless...I thank God for giving you to me as a wife..I've also been thinking about our wedding..How beautiful you are going to look on the wedding gown on that very day..It is going to be the happiest moment in my life..I am really excited..I can't wait to take you to the altar..I can wait to hold you in my arms..I love you..Amy..I love you deep down from heart..You bring me joy and happiness..I love everything about you..Amy..Please,do this favour..Promise me that you will always be happy..I want you to break away from your past experience..Please,my darlin'..overcome the fear of the past..it over..Think about us..Think about our future..Think about the romantic time,we are going to spending together..Think about our home..Please,for the sake of our love..be strong and bold..Like I always tell you,whenever you are Iam always with you in spirit..I will always be there for you..I promise..
Darlin',have you gone to pay for the shipment of the bahamas visa form on my behalf?..Please try and to any of couriers offices in your location and pay for the shipment charges of the bahamas visa form on my behalf..It is really important.I had to resend United State Visa Application Form..I was asked to send them through posting..Amy..I want you to send me your recent photograph..I want to spend the Xmas and New Year with you..Have you finished composing the peom?..Iam also composing another peom for you..I will be really happy..If you can call me..Iam really missing you..I love you..I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God Bless.
Edward Smith.

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 3:02 am

Hahahahaha! Brilliant, as usual. So, is he going to actually go to the Bahamas? That would be another amazing safari... Outstanding work!

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 5:30 am

Ed wrote:

I had to resend United State Visa Application Form..I was asked to send them through posting..

I love it! Except he's lying, he hasn't resent them yet. But I hope to have good news on Monday. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 9:52 am

Quote:

You bring me joy and happiness.

Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 8:30 pm

A great ending to this saga could be to have Ed meet "Amy" somewhere but instead somehow arrange to have a fictional church congregation present, all wearing T-shirts with one of Ed's pictures on them trying to support their patron saint.

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 1:55 am

Ed must be taking advantage of the reduced rates at the Internet cafe after midnight. He sent this at 3AM, Lagos time:

Ed wrote:

Subject: I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD..
Iam really sorry for annoying you..I intend to make you or stress you up. Confused

I appreciate all your effort so far.I know have expended plenty of your precious and Money in facilitating both my admission and Visa procurement.Iam really grateful..May the good lord continue to bless and protect you.It is not that Iam lazy.It is just that I don't have enough money on me at the moment to pay for the delivery charges.I expended almost all of savings on my medication,when I was sick.It is not that I cannot raise the money from my father,but travelling to the Village to get the money from my father at this period of the year will take me alot of time..It amount to wasting of time.Just like you point out,time is not on my side.I want to submit the filled forms before the deadline.The delivery charges for the forms to the United State is Nine Thousand Eight Hundred Naira which is equivalent $81.70.Please,I beg you in the name of God make the payment on my behalf in any of the Fedex office your location and send me the details.So that I can despatch these form immediately.Nevertheless,I will still looking for way to source money to complete the delivery charges.Please,see reasons with me.
Meanwhile,how was your trip?..How did your Xmas shopping go?..I hope it was fine?.Extend my greetings to your family.
I await your Urgent response.

He'll be awaiting for a while. I told him I won't be home until Tuesday night. And I don't think I'll be jumping on the computer the second I get back. So he can start sweating the deadline. In any event, my character finds begging to be unseemly. Wink

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 2:09 pm

Amy has been too depressed to email and talk yesterday:

Quote:

Sweetheart,
How are you today?.Hope all is well?.I was a little bit relieved yesterday,after our telephonic conversation.I've decided to give my business a break for now,so that I can concentrate fully on you.It has not been that easy for me generally.For past couple of days,I've been indoors.I've been thinking about you.Iam really worried about your present state of mind..It is really affecting me.I was really touched and depressed,when I had you crying over the phone.I couldn't help it..I had to cry..If it was possible for me to fly over there at that particular time,I would've don't it..I know you really need me by your side at this
particular time.I trying all I can to make it over to the United States..Iam really doing all I can..It is not easier to get an entry visa into the United States from Nigeria..There are many protocols involved in the United State Visa Procurement.But I want to assure you,that this time is that we are on the right track.Iam going to get the entry visa very soon.It is just matter of time.I guess..you don't know how dearly I need you..But I wouldn't us to make any mistake this time around..I feel this same way,you
feel..There is no other woman in my life right now except you..I've vowed to be faithful to you all through my life..I belong to you and you and you only.For a very long time,I've not had sex with any woman,because I adore and respect our relationship.Though,it is been really difficult, (I think Amy may take offense to this! How can it be DIFFICULT - doesn't he LOVE her?? MEN!!) but I don't care..Love is all about scarifice, commitment,respect,faithfulness,tolerance,patience and understanding.I willing to scarfice more for your love.You mean alot to me..My love belongs to you and you alone.
Darlin',I want you to exercise patience,while the United Embassy proccess my Visa.It wouldn't take that long..Be patient, my love..I will soon be there to wept out your tears and we will live happily together forever.Like I told you over the phone,I was asked to send the filled united state visa application via mail post.I've just done that today.So,as regard the bahamas visa application form..I want you to send me the email address of the visa procurement office,so that I can apply for the visa myself.I will be very happy.if you can get me the email address as soon as possible.I really want us to spend the Xmas and New Year together.Darlin',you complained on finding it difficult to reach me on my cell phone.I guess,it due to poor network reception.Just in case,you can reach via my home telephone number (edit - wooo hoo this was a landline!).It is always available in the night.Darlin',I need to be talking to you always..I need to be able to kissing good night everyday..Please,I want you to try and forget the past..I know it is difficult..But you just have to try.I need to you be strong and happy again.You need to be very prayerful..because there is nothing impossible with God.Prayers can unlock my doors..It can move any mountain.Read your Bible always..God will give us the strength to overcome this problem..I am always with you in prayer..I love you..Amy.I love you from the bottom of my heart.You are my everything..I will be calling you later tonight..or If you can call me.I will be awake through the night.I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith.

Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 2:48 pm

WOW!!!

Congrats gang.
I've been working in no-mans-land for the past month.
I return to find that ED is still a Lad that keeps on giving.
Well done!!!

bow_down

Third Anniversary Safari - (Video p. 63)	View next topic View previous topic