Don't send your lad money, postscript

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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:35 pm

Lord N0rris thought he was doing the right thing when he sent (a scammer with an unusual 40 day curse format) �10,000 and an invitation to spend Christmas at the family castle.

But no, Ive stressed him out. These are but 2 of around 20 emails, getting more frantic as he goes to the bank again...

Quote:

GOOD DAY N0RRIS,

COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK.

I WAS MORE THAN EMBARRASSED,WITH THE INFORMATIONS I RECIEVED FROM THE xxxxxxx I PHOTO COPIED IT AND WENT TO THE BANK YESTERDAY WITH MY DRIVERS LICENSE TO PICKUP THE FUNDS,JUST FOR ME TO BE TOLD AT THE COUNTER THAT THEY PRESENTLY DO NOT HAVE ANY TRANSACTION WITH SUCH INFORMATIONS.

HE FURTHER SAID THAT PROBABLY IT HAS NOT BEEN RELEASED FROM LONDON. Laughing

PLEASE DO SOMETHING OR SEND ANY OF YOUR SERVANTS TO CONFIRM FROM THEIR OFFICE WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM WITH THE TRANSFER.

LOOKING TOWARDS YOUR URGENT RESPONSE ON THIS MATTER.

REGARDS.
YUSUF

Quote:

GOOD DAY N0RRIS,

JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IF BY FRIDAY WHICH IS TOMORROW,I INTEND GOING TO THE BANK TO CHECK IF THE FUNDS HAVE EVENTUALLY ARRIVED NIGERIA.

PLEASE NORRIS,ITS CLOSE TO X-MAS AND NOTHING SEEMS FORTH COMING,I REALLY HOPE ON THIS MONEY ALOT AS MY WIFE IS EXTREMELY HAPPY TOO,BUT THE ISSUES SORROUNDING THE FUNDS NOT BEING HERE TILL MOMENT IS REALLY GIVING HER WORRIES,AS SHE HAS BEEN PRAYING THE FUNDS TO BE AVAILABLE. You really shouldn't have told her, she's spent it already, yes?

YOU HAVE TO THINK ALONG WITH ME COS I HAVE NOT BEEN AT REST SINCE YOU SENT THIS FUNDS SIMPLY BECAUSE I HAVE GONE THROUGH ALOT OF STRESS HAVING TO KEEP GOING TO THE BANK TO CONFIRM IF THE FUNDS HAVE ARRIVED.

MY SUGGESTION ON THIS MATTER,WHICH EVER YOU FEEL IS COMFORTABLE FOR YOU AS I HAVE THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP ME,EITHER I SEND TO YOU A BANK ACCOUNT WHERE YOU CAN TRANSFER THE 10,000 POUNDS,I FEEL WHY THE FUNDS HAVE NOT ARRIVED UP TILL NOW OR I GIVE YOU PAYMENT INFORMATIONS THAT YOU WILL USE IN MAKING THE PAYMENT THROUGH WESTERN UNOIN.

REGARDS.
YUSUF

Quote:

Dear Yusuf,

I am sorry that getting this money has become so stressful for you, I
bet you wish I'd never sent it.

If you send me (and Alan, of course) your bank details I will get the money transferred to your bank account, however first you have to persuade the people at xxxxxxx to release the fund, at the moment they won't let you have it, but they won't let me have it back!

Toodlepip,
--
Lord N0rris of C0le

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 3:58 pm

"PLEASE DO SOMETHING OR SEND ANY OF YOUR SERVANTS"

It's hard getting good help these days.

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 4:08 pm

Bwahahaha, Nice!!

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 4:11 pm

Quote:

COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK.

Priceless. Sometimes they have no idea how great their wording is.

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 4:13 pm

Quote:

You really shouldn't have told her, she's spent it already, yes?

Hahahahaha! I'm dreaming of an.... indebted... Christmas!

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 4:24 pm

He's been back to the bank again today, can you imagine what happened? Razz

Quote:

N0RRIS,A CRY FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.

GOOD DAY N0RRIS,

JUST TODAY WHEN I CHECKED MY EMAIL BOX,I SAW AN EMAIL FROM ONE xxxxxx,WHO HAPPENS TO BE A SUPERVISOR,SO SHE SAID THAT THEIR COMPUTER HAD VIRUS,BUT HAS BEEN FIXED UP.AND SHE FURTHER STATED THAT THE FUNDS ARE READY FOR PICKUP.

BUT TODAY AGAIN AFTER GOING TO THE BANK, PARTICULARLY ( OCEANIC BANK ),I WAS STILL TOLD THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE ANY TRANSACTION MATCHING.

SO I HAD TO WRITE TO HER AGAIN SHORTLY BEFORE I SENT YOU THIS EMAIL.

I SUGGEST WE WAIT AGAIN TILL MONDAY OR TUESDAY AS I HAVE WRITTEN HER TO SEND TO ME A LIST OF BANKS OR THE PARTICULAR BANK THAT I AM TO GO AND PICKUP THE FUNDS WITH THE INFORMATION.

IF BY THEN I HAVE NOT RECIEVED THE FUNDS THEN I WILL SEND TO YOU AN ACCOUNT THAT YOU CAN TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO,SO THAT I CAN RECIEVE IT.

N0RRIS,THANKS FOR EVERYTHING,I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU AS A FRIEND Embarassed

AND WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU SOONEST BY THE GRACE OF ALMIGHTY GOD,AMEN.

BEST REGARDS.

Happy, but frustrated, then, wait till he tells Mrs Adams....

Beware friends bearing MTCNs.

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 5:23 pm

It is great that you are such a good friend. I have been using the "WU is suspending transfers to Lagos" modality with much success lately. Maybe that is the problem. Lcuky for him, Ibadan or Abuja do not have that problem.

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 5:50 pm

Perhaps he's not using the appropriate approved form of wording for enquiring about receipt of payment.

"May I enquire of you concerning the receipt of my funds amounting to $ XXX in the name of XXXXXXX XXXXXX and would be most pleased if you would open your till and pay me the money without causing any commotion."

It is of course acceptable, if he cannot remember the wording. to print it out and pass it to the cashier. Evil or Very Mad

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I can't imagine an important person like yourself being troubled to go the bank to transfer funds. I would think you would give that task to a trusted servant, who you just know wouldn't take the money for himself.

I love christmas time. The desperation just increases and increases.

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:25 pm

roycropper's scammer wrote:

SEND TO ME A LIST OF BANKS OR THE PARTICULAR BANK THAT I AM TO GO AND PICKUP THE FUNDS WITH THE INFORMATION.

Sounds like a safari could be in ther works here... Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:04 pm

Quote:

I would think you would give that task to a trusted servant

I love that modality. My trusted driver M@du takes the cash to the WU office for me and simply wires the money to himself under his African name. He is also entrusted with emailing the scanned forms to the lads (and even taunts them). It so burns Nigerian mugus when they think a Ghanaian in America is chopping their dollar.

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:12 pm

@Gomer, I love the evil & twisted idea you put forward.

The visualisation of the lad handing over a piece of paper in the bank just makes me chuckle Laughing

If you could get him to carry a chair leg in a plastic carrier bag as well.....

Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:38 pm

Maybe I should send him a security phrase, like 'stick em up!'

He's been doing the rounds of the banks, without sucess:

Quote:

GOOD DAY xxxxxx,

TODAY AGAIN I HAVE BEEN TO 4 DIFFERENT BANKS AND ALL THEY KEEP SAYING IS THAT THEY DONT OPERATE xxxxx INCUDING ZENITH BANK.

SINCE THERE SEEM NOT TO BE ANY PROGRESS,I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOUR COMPANY REFUNDS THE MONEY BACK TO N0RRIS.

AFTER WASTING MY TIME ENERGY AND MONEY MOVING TO DIFFERENT BANKS TO SEE IF I CAN CASH THE FUNDS,BUT TO NO AVAIL.

THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING.

BEST REGARDS.

YUSUF

Quote:

GOOD DAY N0RRIS,

PLEASE DO INFORM ME IF YOU HAVE RECIEVED MAIL RECENT MAIL TO YOU YESTERDAY WHICH I ENCLOSED THE ACCOUNT DETAILS YOU ARE TO USE IN HELPING ME TRANSFER THE 10,000 POUNDS. Ooh, yes thanks, so did Alan Smile

WILL IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO COME OVER TO YOUR CASTLE AS YOU HAVE SAID IN THE PAST,BY JANUARY AFTER THE XMAS AND NEW YEAR HOLIDAY?. Now that would be a safari. Lagos to Lancashire, sadly you may not have the funds for the air fare by then...

DID YOU ALSO RECIEVE THE MAIL I FORWARDED TO YOU,WHICH THE SUPERVISOR,MRS xxxxx SAID REGARDING THE COMPANY REFUNDING YOU BACK YOUR FUNDS SINCE I AM UNABLE TO RECIEVE IT.

I DO AWAIT THE PAYMENT SLIP USED FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUNDS.

BEST REGARDS AND COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON TO YOU FROM MY ENTIRE FAMILY MEMBERS THANKING YOU FOR YOUR KIND HEART IN MAKING MY ENTIRE FAMILY HAPPY THIS SEASON,COULD YOU SEND ME SOME PICTURES OF YOU AND ALSO YOUR CASTLE,AS MY ENTIRE FAMILY MEMBERS DO WISH TO MEET WITH YOU.

YUSUF

Quote:

Dear Yusuf,

As soon as those devils at xxxxxx return my money to me, I will transfer it to the bank account which you gave me. The stupid beancounter, the estate accountant, won't just give me a cheque for �10,000 like I asked, it has to be the same money that I tried to send you last week.

Unfortunately, after a previous misunderstanding with a Professor Soludo, my wife Numpty has put very strict conditions on my access to the family bank accounts, which is very frustrating because there are millions just sitting there.

I had a word with Numpty, we would be only too happy to accommodate you in the guest wing, anytime you want to come and stay with us. Maybe I could get you a job on the estate, we always need gardeners for our extensive opium poppy fields, help look after the lions in the safari park, or with your IT skills, you could take bookings for the castle visits and overnight stays. Anyway, we can talk about that when you get here.

I enclose a picture of myself, in the giftshop, and a view from the front of the castle.

Cheerybye,

--
Lord N0rris of C0le

The real N0rris C0le, in the newsagents, on Coronation Street.

The real Chatsworth House, Derbyshire, home of the real Duke of Devonshire.

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:46 pm

I must try and work the words toodlepip and cheerybye into my daily conversations.

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:51 pm

Quote:

I must try and work the words toodlepip and cheerybye into my daily conversations

Brits say these things all the time, and answer the telephone with a hearty 'Hoyhoy!'

Yusuf to the bank:

Quote:

GOOD DAY xxxxx,

PLEASE I ADVICE YOU DO EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE TO FASTEN THE REFUNDS AS THE FUNDS STILL BEING IN YOUR COSTUDY IS CAUSING ALOT OF PROBLEMS WITH MY FRIEND WHICH I REALLY DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT.

I HAD WRITTEN YOU PREVIOUSLY THAT YOUR COMPANY SHOULD MAKE A REFUNDMENT AS YOU HAVE STATED IN YOUR LAST MAIL,I HAVE OPTED OUT WITH DISBELIEVE IN xxxxx AND ITS INABLILTY TO HAVE ENOUGH NETWORK COVERAGE SINCE I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO RECIEVE THE FUNDS.

MY FRIEND FURTHER FURTHER WROTE TO ME TELLING ME THAT SINCE I HAVE NOT RECIEVED THE FUNDS THAT YOUR COMPANY HAS REFUSED TO GET HIS MONEY REFUNDED BACK TO HIM,AND THATS VERY UNEARTHICAL.

YUSUF

Over the top reply to Lord N0rris:

Quote:

GOOD DAY N0RRIS,

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL AND YOUR QUICK RESPONSE,I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTOOD YOU,GOD ALMIGHTY WILL KEEP GUIDING YOU THROUGH YOUR REIGN.

PLEASE COULD YOU DO ME THE FAVOUR OF TRYING TO CHECK YOUR MAIL ON A DAILY BASIS,I AM REALLY GETTING WORRIED BECAUSE OF THE DELAY AS I THOUGHT THAT BY THURSDAY I WILL BE GETTING MY KIDS SOME CLOTHING Crying or Very sad

,AS THERE IS A BONANZA GOING ON WHICH MAKES THE PRICES LESSER,UNFORTUNATELY THE FAIR WILL BE CLOSING SATURDAY,AND THE TOTAL AMOUNT IS $4,500 USD,WHICH I WAS THINKING I WOULD BE BUYING BY THURSDAY. Bloody hell, do you kids wear Gucci or Versace?

AFTER SEEING YOUR PICS MY ENTIRE FAMILY PRAYED AND WISHED YOU COMPLIMENTS, HOPING THIS OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL FOASTER DOWN TO OUR CHILDREN YET UNBORN.

I WILL BE WRITING THE SUPERVISOR AT xxxxx ALSO,PROBABLY SHE COULD FASTEN THE REFUNDMENT OF THE FUNDS WHICH I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO RECIEVE,SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE THE TRANSFER.

AS YOU HAVE SAID I REALLY WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU EARLY NEXT YEAR AS YOU HAVE SAID THERE IS ACCOMODATION FOR ME,WHEN I COME,DONT YOU THINK I SHOULD TRAVEL OVER WITH MY ENTIRE FAMILY SO THAT WITH YOUR ASSISTANCE WE CAN START A NEW LIFE AFRESH IN THE U.K?.

I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU ALSO DO ME THIS FAVOUR BY SENDING ONE OF YOUR SERVANT OR WORKERS TO xxxxx SO THAT THEY CAN FASTEN THE REFUNDMENT,WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?.

LOOKING FORWARD TO YOU RESPONSE.

YUSUF

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:04 pm

Yusuf wrote:

AFTER SEEING YOUR PICS MY ENTIRE FAMILY PRAYED AND WISHED YOU COMPLIMENTS, HOPING THIS OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL FOASTER DOWN TO OUR CHILDREN YET UNBORN.

Hey Yusuf,
You shouldn't be making plans for your unborn children just yet. You isn't as rich as you thinks you is. Laughing

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:00 am

Maybe we will get lucky and he will get the highest form of a Darwin Award.

Taking his self out while in the act of procreation. My what a bait that would be.... Shocked

I just gave myself an idea.......

EDIT: A baiting idea that is...... Although I do have some enemies....

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:33 am

If you get this goober to walk into a bank with a note and demand his money from a teller and either get himself arrested for bank robbery or shot dead, that would be AWESOME!!!!

Is there a special symbol for that?

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:44 am

Sending a Lad into a bank as suggested would be a no-no, IMO, if its goal is to get him killed. Imagine if a panic broke out, or if shots were fired and the bullets hit an innocent customer or teller.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 31 Mar 2007 Posts: 79

I agree with Yastreb. Our goal should be to make the lads realize the futility (and, in fact, the evil) of their activities, but trying to harm them physically is way over the line. Then, there's also the risk to innocent bystanders, as has been noted.

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 2:36 pm

I think Otto was being facetious. No lad is going to do that. Let's not turn this into an ethics of harming lads thread. Check this out if you want to read on ethics: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=32877.

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:56 pm

He's already getting grief from his missus, now his kids are pressing on his kneck.....

Quote:

GOOD DAY N0RRIS,

HAS THERE BEEN ANY PROGRESS IN RECIEVING THE FUNDS FROM THE xxxxx COMPANY?.

BY TODAY TOMORROW THEY ARE MEANT TO REFUND BACK THE FUNDS TODAY OR TOMORROW BECAUSE THE MAIL I RECIEVED FROM MRS yyyyy,WHO HAPPENS TO BE A SUPERVISOR WITH THE COMPANY STATED IN HER MAIL TO ME ON THE 30 Nov 2007,THAT A WEEK FROM THE DAY I RECIEVED THE MAIL .

THAT FAILURE TO RECIEVE THE FUNDS,IT WILL BE REFUNDED,WILL BE FORWARDING HER MAIL TO YOU ALSO.

PLEASE DO ALL YOU CAN TO HELP SEND YOUR RESPRESENTATIVE TO THEIR OFFICE TO HASTEN THE REFUNDS SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE THE TRANSFER AS ME AS MY KIDS AT HOME ARE REALLY PRESSING ON MY KNECK REGARDING THE CLOTHES THEY HAVE SELECTED AT THE BONANZA SHOPPING FAIR,THAT ARE YET TO BE PAID FOR.

N0RRIS,HOW DO YOU INTEND ENJOYING OR RATHER SPENDING THE X-MAS AND NEW YEAR FESTIVE PERIOD?.

BEST REGARDS.

YUSUF

Quote:

Dear Yusuf,

I haven't heard anything from the money people, but then again I
wouldn't because I am deaf! Because of this I can't ring their help
line either, have you tried?

I haven't had any emails, or advice from my bank that the money has come back.

It is all very annoying, especially when your children are still unclothed.

At Christmas, we will have to go to Balmoral castle to visit the
wife's relatives, all very boring, but at least Edinburgh and I can
get pissed together, the Queen has a good wine cellar, and every malt
whiskey you can think of.

Boxing day I go on the annual Royal stag hunt, the ladies shoot
something smaller, like swans and otters.

I don't know where I will celebrate the New Year, either at the castle
or at a massage parlour, probably.

Cheerio for now old boy,

--
Lord N0rris of C0le

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:08 pm

Poor boy is approaching meltdown. His money transfer is now listed as being picked up in Lagos. He is convinced his dollar has been chopped, his naked kids are not best pleased.

5 emails today, I won't post them all.

Quote:

N0RRIS,WHAT DO WE DO NOW?,MY HOPES AND DREAMS HAS BEEN SHATTERED.

GOOD DAY N0RRIS,

COMPLIMENTS TO YOU,I HOPE YOU RECIEVED THE UNPLEASING MAIL I SENT TO xxxxx REGARDING THE FUNDS I HAVE BEEN WRITING TO HER TO REFUND BACK TO YOU SINCE LAST WEEK SATURDAY,AND SHE FAILED TO RESPOND BACK TO ME SINCE THEN.

CAN YOU IMAGINE JUST FOR HER TO WRITE ME TODAY TELLING ME THAT THE MATTER HAS BEEN CLOSED THAT THE MONEY HAS BEEN COLLECTED.

N0RRIS,SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE COS THAT IS ALL I AND MY FAMILY ARE HOPING ON TO USE MAKE THE XMAS AND NEW YEAR AND ALSO START SOME SMALL SCALE BUSINESS FOR MY WIFE.

N0RRIS,YOU DONT HAVE TO TAKE THIS ISSUE LIKELY,GOOD ENOUGH YOU HAVE MY PICTURE AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU SENT THE FUNDS TO,IT WAS AS IF I FOR SAW SOMETHING WRONG THAT WAS WHY I WAS INSISTING YOU SEND YOUR REPRESENTATIVE TO GO TO THEIR OFFICE TO CONFIRM.

N0RRIS,WHAT DO WE DO NOW?,AM FINISHED,MY HOPES AND DREAMS HAS BEEN SHATTERED.

REGARDS.

YUSUF

Quote:

Dear Yusuf,

I dont understand what has happened here, the system does indeed show
that the money was picked up in Lagos, Nigeria.

That's the last time I send money abroad.

Like you I am very disillusioned about the whole thing.

I must go, we are away shooting the haggis this weekend. Do you drive?
I still have an Aston Martin sportscar in W3chiau, Ghana, which I had
to leave behind when I was booted out of Africa, you can have that if
you like. (But don't tell all the other lads I have given it to)

TTFN,
--
Lord N0rris of C0le

Quote:

GOOD DAY N0RRIS,

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL ,LIKE I TOLD YOU MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN SHATTERED.

HOW DO I SPEND MY XMAS AND NEW YEAR WITH MY FAMILY WITH ALL THIS ILL HAPPENING?. Especially after you told them that you were rich!

WHAT DO I DO NOW,SINCE I DONT VEN HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO EVEN BUY CLOTHES FOR MY KIDS,I WAS REALLY HOPING THAT WITH THE MONEY I CAN START A SMALL BUSINESS FOR MY WIFE.

N0RRIS,ISTHERE NO OTHER WAY YOU CAN HELP ME SEND SOME MONEY ?.

N0RRIS,AM SO CONFUSED WITH EVERYTHING.

REGARDS.

YUSUF

Quote:

GOOD DAY N0RRIS,

FIND ATTACHMENT OF THE MAIL I RECIEVED FROM THE (Bank) WOMAN,I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT THE MONEY MUST HAVE BEEN PICKED UP BY AN INSIDER WHO WORKS IN THE BANK,PROBABLY ITS AS A RESULT OF THE LONG DELAY.

THEY NOW FELT THAT SINCE UP TILL NOW NOBODY HAS COME FOR IT,BUT I THINK THAT THE SUPERVISOR SHOULD ME HELD RESPONSIBLE BECAUSE BEFORE THE MONEY WAS PICKED-UP.

I HAD SENT SEVERAL MAILS TO HER STATING THAT THE MONEY BE REFUNDED BACK TO YOU,I KNOW THAT YOU ARE A VERY RICH MAN N0RRIS,BUT WHAT ABOUT ME THAT IS STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET.

N0RRIS,SINCE THINGS HAS GONE THIS WAY WHAT WAY CAN YOU HELP ME SO THAT I CAN GET SOME MONEY SINCE YOU SAY YOUR BEANCOUNTER Smile

DOES NOT WANT TO TRANSFER THE FUNDS INTO THE ACCOUNT I HAVE GIVEN TO YOU. No point, Alan will probably get it closed soon.
SO DEPRESSED,

REGARDS.
YUSUF

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 7:56 pm

Yes, clearly the money was picked up by an insider. That's what you should send the next transfer to Ibadan.

Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 12:39 am

If you think you could get this chap to safari to get his Westy, I'll gladly give him a telephone call.

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