Spare the rod.......

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

And scare the lad!

Hello everyone! Bob here with a bit of friendly for all of the other noobie baiters who are just now getting into the baiting game. Slapping your fella too hard or too often is BAD! I joined this forum and after getting my feet wet, I proceeded to string along an entire platoon of fine young lads, however I soon got into the habit of slapping them around a bit too often. This soon led to lad abandonment and the little ingrates abandoned me like they would a sinking ship.

This is NOT to say that lad slapping is wrong, immoral or even undesirable! Plus, it's jolly good fun to be baiting a lad along and having him seeing the money train a-chug-chug-chugging into sight, when all of the sudden, from out of the clear blue sky and wayyyyyyyy off from out in left field, he gets a cuff that sends him to spinning to the ground! Laughing

It's great entertainment, but in order for a slap to be really felt by your fella, it must be carefully planned in advance. If you take to wanton fisticuffs with your lads, you will very soon find yourself in the midst of a lad shortage. This is what happened to me, everyone. It was an expensive lesson learned in terms of manhours wasted, but it was also a valuable lesson learned.

From this point onwards, if I sense that one of my troopers is starting to feel a bit cocky, instead of busting the bejeebus out of him and sending him reeling for cover, I am going to try more subtle tactics, such as refusing to answer his e-mails for a set period of time, and asking for atonement for his faux pas, in the form of hand written apologies (perhaps 10,000 words or more should suffice) and to take photographs of the apology.

There are always alternate courses of action the baiter can choose, and while pimp slapping your fella provides instant gratification, it defeats the long term objective.
Have fun baiting and remember!
Bob Suronkle!!!

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 6:19 pm

^^^^Living proof of slowly slowly catchy person!

[mod edit: post wording changed to avoid possible racist connotations - KD]

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:19 pm

Slapping a lad is very much like making love to a beautiful woman...just as long as she tells you to do it of her own volition, then no harm done. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 8:48 pm

When, how often and how hard I slap my Lads depends largely on the persona I'm using. One is a spoiled young woman with a fiery temper and a foul mouth, honey=sweet when things are fine but swearing horribly when they go astray; the other is a retired soldier, more patient, but who speaks his mind (without much swearing) when things seem to have been mishandled.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

Hi everyone! Bob here again! That was some EXCELLENT advice about the caring and feeding of your lads! Lately, I've stopped slapping my fellas except in the most extreme cases. For instance I had one who young fella was so boneheaded that I don't think he could hardly tie his shoes! He also seemed to enjoy getting cracked upside the noggin too! If I didn't slap him back into line every 2 or 3 days, I could sense the change in his tone and he'd become sullen, moody and very lethargic, however a good right smack to the chops would suddenly ring his bell and he'd hop to attention.

Being something of a photo nut myself, I thought I might try to feed his creativity a bit and so I sent him out on all sorts of *photo assignments*, some quite simple and other verging on impossible. Without exception he'd always screw up somewhere and I'd have to pop him one for it. On the times when I wouldn't pop him, he'd get all sad and whiney till I whopped him one. He was strange for sure. I miss having him around, especially when I've had a rough day. As always;
Bob Suronkle

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:55 pm

I'm interested. Tell me more.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Hi Bob. I like how you start every post with "Hi, Bob here! . . ." It's amusing me.
I'm glad you've learned the finer points of lad slapping.

Very Happy

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:41 pm

kleindoofy wrote:

I'm interested. Tell me more.

Hmmmfff.... *snark*

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:45 pm

It's also good that you sign your posts with your Eater name. I get all confused otherwise. Wink

I almost never slap. I prefer apologies. I wouldn't expect most real victims are pushy, arrogant millionaires. I try to seem hopeful, nervous, and a maybe a little dim. But then again, I tend to be more of a straight baiter.

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:33 am

I almost always have to do a mild slap early.

My baiting name and email address are different and the lads sometimes address me by the email name.

For example, I'm "John Smith" at jacksmith@... and I get "Dear Jack Smith", and I have to set them straight so that the correct name appears on the money documents they are going to send me.

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:26 am

The topic of lad-slapping has been thrown around many times before, always draws input from both sides of the fence, and wouldn't be complete without one of Tommo's "beautiful woman" refernces.

In my meager experience, I would suggest that to-slap-or-not-to-slap is greatly influenced by your particular bait with that particular lad. Since each lad has his own character traits and modus operandi, it would be impossible to develop a formula that would cover all baits. While these mugus all share certain characteristics (greedy, soulless, lazy and repulsive to name a few), how often and how hard to slap, if at all, depends almost entirely on how your bait is progressing. Some lads beg to be smacked, others will respond better to a more subtle approach. Just look at the quotes of our great forefathers on the topic...

"Slapping alone does not a baiter make" - Will Shakespeare

"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened" - Mark Twain

"Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to slap" - Ghandi

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The power to slap a lad is insignificant next to the power of the Farce." - D. Vader

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 28 Nov 2007 Posts: 19

Obi-Wan, those quotes are horrible, and yet very funny at the same time.

My insides are cringing while I can't stop laughing.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

Hello everyone! Uncle Bob here again with an exciting new concept! I got a nibble on the money for free scam and our dear laddie, in order to seem more legitmate, thought posted *his* scanned passport photo along with a photo of stacks of 20 dollar bills! Boy oh boy! This has sure gotten my greed working overtime and I am now virtually salivitating at the thought of having all of the 20s in my greddy little hands.
But wait! It seems that our dear ol' uncle Bob is a Christian and he wants to do business ONLY with other Christians! The moral dilemna here is this. Is Uncle Bob correct in his statement about only wanting to enter into negotations with other Christians, or are his motivations outdated and smacking of religious bigotry? If the lad is a heathen, should Bob overlook his devout views and co ntinue correspondence or should Bob seek out other like minded Christians??? And remember everyone,
Bob Suronkle

Cut & Paste copy of reply to the lad:
My Dear Doctor;
This sounds VERY interesting, my friend and new associate! What will I need to do in order that I may recieve compensation? I do understand that all countries have their rules and whenever I have been faced with such obstacles in the past I am reminded by the saying "The Devil's in the details" and he certainly seems to be residing in our corner at this moment, my brother. Are you a Christian? Do you believe in God? I do and I will only do business with other Christians. I know this may sound a bit exclusionary but I've discovered that non Christians tend to be on the dishonest side.
Your friend and new partner;
XXXXXX

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Not a very new concept, Bob- lots of trophies are obtained because the lads claimed to be affiliated with whatever belief system the baiter espoused.

You could tell lads that you only deal with fellow worshippers of the God of Straws, Marvin Stone, if you chose to.

There isn't anything bigoted about your what you've explained about your bait unless you choose to make it so.

I don't have an uncle named Bob....one aspect of British humor that I've never understood.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

Hi everyone! Bob here again! I meant that it is a new concept for ME! I am thinking that my lad should become a staid, upstanding member of the Our Lady of Perpetual Motion church. Thoughts anyone?
As always;
Bob Suronkle

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Sounds like an idea that should be explored.

Good luck with your bait!

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

I think it depends a lot on the baiter. I often endulge in slappage jsut because I feel like it. But then I am willing to put up with being dropped. There are many more lads in the sea and I don't look at the man hours as being wasted because I enjoy setting them up jsut for the sake of setting them up.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

Hello again everybody! Uncle Bob here again and I am starting to feel somewhat guilty about my overabundance of slappage at this point. Some of those fellas actually seem to be quite decent chaps and very needy fellas. One boi was telling me about his family problems and boy oh boy, he has problems big time! I was considering sending a little something to tide him over thru Christmas and........
Wait! What's this??? An e-mail from the lad? OMG!!! That little bastich wants MONEY! I am going to have to teach him a lesson he won't soon forget! It's time to break out the big guns!!! Where's that baseball bat? Boy, is he ever gonna get it! I'd hate to be in his sandals right now! BRB everybody and remember!
Bob Suronkle

Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

Hello once again! It's your Uncle Bob here I am in an a real quandry. It seems our dear lad had a Muslim dad and a Christian mummy. Dear, oh dear. Does this mean our chap is a Mustian? Or a maybe Chrislim? Whatever the case, as I see things, he is half and half, therefore his dolla gets chopped should get chopped in half as well! After all, fair is fair as I see things. Remember folks!
Bob Suronkle

Copy of the original e-mail text from today:
ATTN,

MY BROTHER I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL AND I WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT MY LATE FATHER WAS A MUSLIMWHILE MY SWEET MUM IS A CHRISTIAN SO I WAS BROUGHT UP IN A CHRISTIAN HOME.

WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW IS TO SEND ME ALL YOUR CONTACT DETAILS SO THAT I CAN START PROCCESSING ALL THE AVAILBLE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR NAME FROM THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE AS THE SOLE BENEFICIARY OF THESE FUNDS THEN THE DIPLIMAT THAT WILL DELIVER THE FUNDS TO YOU WILL FLY DIRECT TO YOUR COUNTRY IMMEDIATELY AND ALSO NOTE THAT I WILL BE FLYING TO YOUR COUNTRY THE NEXT DAY YOU RECEIVE THIS FUNDS FROM THE DIPLOMAT WHERE BOTH OF US WILL INVEST IT TOGETHER.

MY BROTHER I THANK GOD THAT YOU�RE A GOD FEARING MAN BECAUSE I AM TOO AND I WILL ONLY DO BUSINESS WITH PERSON LIKE YOU WHOM ACCEPTS GOD IN HIS HEART JUST LIKE ME. SO I PROMISE YOU THAT WE ARE GOING TO ACHIEVE A LOT FROM THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION.

LIKE I TOLD YOU THAT I WANT YOU TO BE HONEST, RELIABLE AND GOD FEARING YOU HAVE ALL THIS THINGS BECAUSE I CAN SEE THAT FROM YOUR EMAIL SO PLEASE LET�S MOVE ON IMMEDIATELY TO CONCLUDE EVERY THING BEFORE THIS YEAR ENDS.

FINALLY I AM WAITING FOR YOUR DETAILS SO THAT I CAN START MAKING EVERY ARRANGEMENTS TOWARDS HOW THE DIPLOMAT WILL FLY TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR YOU TO RECEIVE THE FUNDS OK

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:40 pm

ask for a copy of the letter from his dear ole dead dad renouncing his faith proving christian conversion. I'm sure he would do it for his son. <G> Tell your lad if dad can't comply, you will accept a letter post mort signed by mum.

LW

Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

Hello lottowinner! Bob here and I must say that my persona is a bit squeamish about having business dealings with a Muslim. I know this sounds like religious bigotry but my persona just can't help it. Recent events have opened a gulf between the Muslims and the rest of the world. Now, if the lad were half Jewish and half Christian, then my persona would go along with that.

As my persona sees things, there is only ONE recourse left open at this point! Circumscion! Yes, I realize that getting circumscized so late in life would perhaps rovoke a bit of discomfort in our lad, but my personas' faith DEMANDS it. It is simply not open for discussion folks. It's either circumscion or hit the road, Jack.

My persona also feels that in order to show ones' true faith, then the circumscion must be performed without the use of pain killers, even topical ones. It's the screams which purifies ones' soul and opens ones' eyes to the path of righteousness. Any thoughts or suggestions on this course of action? Moral issues, anyone? Legal debates or anything else which I may not have thought of. I also feel that a video tape of the procedure should definitely be present to lend an air of validity to the proceedings. And remember!
Bob Suronkle

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

Circumcision...Moral issues, anyone?

Been there, done that:
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=115848

No need to debate it again. It isn't going to happen.

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:27 pm

Send him on a safari to Bolivia. That should be fun and I don't think it's been done before. Wink

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:45 pm

Hello everyone, Breddan Butter here.
(how wierd is that to start every post Rolling Eyes

)

Bob Suronkle,
Are you seriously asking for help?
If so, please pm me and I'll move this thread to the more appropriate Scambaiting Help forum.

Breddan Butter.
(now signing your name on every post is also weird Rolling Eyes

)

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:01 am

I can think of weirder things...

OldBaglady