Third Anniversary Safari - (Video p. 63)

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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 1:16 am

FYI - Amy has some Holiday drama planned.

- I have to go away Dec 15 through 29. So I will be lightly baiting Ed - And I will tell him I am in a "Psychiatric Hospital" because I'm suffering from PTSD.

- I also will have holiday presents to mail to him.

- I'm going to have a financial crisis with the money I just inherited - and it's going to get frozen in the bank until I can go to court.

There will be some holiday fun.....Ed's going to have a good 12 days of Christmas...... So I will do my best to keep you updated - but I'm going to be extremely busy.

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:02 am

Here's to Eliza's masterful, unending and far-reaching plans. May the poor fellow's train-wreck of a life be immortalized upon the intranets forever and ever.

Could it be our good friend will have to prove his sanity when Amy is declared unfit to inherit?

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:50 pm

Well, Eddie Boy has sent me a nice little email today. Yes FJB DID send him an email.... Laughing

But I am not going to disclose exactly what it said Twisted Evil

Because he did as FJB told him and DID NOT tell Amy exactly what FJB told him. LOL He told a bit - but he left out something very important. So, we may all be getting a good laugh soon Twisted Evil

Here's what Eddie Boy had to say to Amy today:

Oh and get a laugh out of what he says about that bad gang that kidnapped Amy - LOL

Quote:

Sweetheart,
Iam sorry it me long to get back to you..I wasn't around..I had to make a short trip to Port Harcourt..You are quite right about my phone network..For the past three days,I've not been able to make calls and receive calls..It was due to network break down..My phone network provider is carrying network upgrading on their facilities..So they shut down their systems..But they are back..I can now make and receive calls..I was also worried about you..I tried calling you from a Public Phone Booth in Port Harcourt,but calls seems to be diverted into your voicemail..Like I mentioned in my previous mail,my personal computer laptop,that I always travel around with broke down..It blew up..I've have to get a new computer laptop..Rightnow,I can only access my mail through a public internet cafe which is not safe or I use my junior brothers computer at home..Anyway,Iam comtemplating on buying a new laptop very soon..I got a mail from ..He told me all the emotional trauma you are going through..Darlin',I understand all you've gone through for the past months..I want you to try and forget it..I know it is very difficult to forget those horrible experience..But you just have to forget it..You are safe now..Nothing is going to happen to you..Just feel free and live your normal life..I will soon come over to make you happy..I want you to stop thinking about the past..Start thinking about the future with me..Start thinking about our marriage..It hurts me,when I hear you cry everyday..I want you to know that God is always with us.No forces on this earth can separate us.Like I always tell you God have already ordained our marriage.Lets start thinking about our future together..Let start planning on how to raise a happy and prosperous home together.Please,try and call me later on today..I will waiting for your call..

As regards the United states Visa Application Forms..I've already filled one before..I've already sent the forms back..The american embassy in Nigeria may call me for the interview any moment from now.Please,I want you to send the united state visa application form with you back?..So,that it wouldn't affect my chances of getting an entry visa into the united state.I remember telling you this in my previous mail..Rightnow,I want you to concentrate on getting me an entry visa into the Bahamas before the Xmas..Please, send me the Bahamas Entry visa form.So,the woman you met at the United State Embassy was right..which means I cannot fill another form for now.I want you to know that the cannot be allowed into the United States.The F.B.I are on the look out for them..recently some of them were round up by the Nigerian Police after robbing three Banks in the northern part of Nigeria..By now,Usman should be on the run or in Police net because the Interpol,the F.B.I and the Nigerian services are on their trail.Stop bothering yourself about them..The wrath of God will visit them one after the other..I believe God will fight for us..I believe he is able..He has never failed me..God will fight against every of our enemies.I love you..Amy..You bring me joy and happiness.I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:58 pm

Doctor Doolittle, That is one enormously large signature, right there. I love his undieing love. What a wonderful thing.... with 3d its Christmas, every day....

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:04 pm

Quote:

It blew up

The same thing's going to happen to the lawyer's computers just before christmas, and it'll be an email bomb from the seven to blame.

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:55 pm

Well, as PDS said, Eddie works best with a deadline. Very Happy

As I type, Ed is in the process of emailing all 100 pages of Peanut's visa form. Laughing

Here are just a few sample pages:

Frankly, it's all too much even to download!

ED: I think you need to tell him that Bahama relies on US visa laws and that they don't have their own form.

After he sends all 100 pages I'll wait a couple of days, then tell him that the visa agency will not accept jpg copies and that he needs to Fedex the originals immediately. If he does it, I'll tell him they rejected them because they're in pencil and he needs to do it again. Then, of course, there will be a problem since he has not filled out everything. Note that he didn't indicate how many times he's been in an airplane or car, or the size of some rooms.

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:30 pm

What a diligent little lad he is. I think he really does want to come to the US:

He still has about 60 pages left to send....

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:20 pm

Nice job Juan clapping

"Because I like feeding birds" bwaahaaaaaaa!!

@Eliza: as Amy's the nearest relative of Ed's dead fiancee , she could claim the estate immediately, and then Ed would need to be where Amy is ASAP or lose everything he stood to gain. If that suits you, I could finally pull out and spectate. The lawyer's part in all this is getting tedious, and I've had my share of Ed+tedious.

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:48 pm

The other problem Ed should have is to find out that after all that work - at the end of this year - beginning Jan 1, 2008 - - there are new visa forms and the old ones no longer will do.

Damn US policies! LOL But that seems to really happen with some things in life here. I applied for med insurance - they screwed it up because the day after I applied a new form needed to be used - filled out that form and sent it in - and it got there after another deadline - - Anyway I first filled it out Aug 28 - - and I just sent in my 3rd set of paperwork last week - and I still don't have medical insurance for me or my kid - - And I'm NOT being played - I'm doing this face-to-face! Rolling Eyes

So, PDS - if you want the lawyer to back out - you can get the lawyer to back out - but we could introduce you as someone else if you want back in.

@ Juan I am going to email Ed tomorrow - and tell him that I contacted the lady who sent me the forms and she was really irritated and accused me of playing games. She told me that according to her computer, the forms were submitted yesterday (today) and now I am telling her to pull the application - who am I and why am I trying to make her job hard - does he want to come to the US or no? Am I trying to help him - or should she be suspicious of me for trying to keep him from getting into the US?

I can say that they called back and left a message on my cell phone asking me to come in for some questions. LOL

Also - I'm not sure about telling him that the Bahamas is the same as the US because ultimately we want him to really fly there - so we really need to waste some of his time but then get him to get real forms and fly.

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:56 am

Eliza, better not tell him the forms were submitted, he still hasn't even sent all of them so my character can't submit them yet.

I plan to wait until he finishes the last 50 pages (better be tomorrow!), then wait a day or two more before telling him that the visa agency refused to accept them because they're emailed copies. I want him to spend some money Fedexing the originals to Sheboppe's drop box. Then they'll be rejected for being in pencil. I'm hoping he will Fedex a second set in ink, and THEN we can say that the requirements have changed and these forms are no longer acceptable... Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:45 am

OH ok - I thought he sent it all in - - Thanks for the 411.

So I'll just tell him that I called and found out that the Bahama forms have to be sent TO him. Then I'll find REAL forms to get a visa to the bahamas and have them sent to him.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 3779

The mugu seems to have aged alot during the past few months. Laughing

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:05 am

Quote:

It hurts me,when I hear you cry

Better prepare plenty more waterworks, then, Eliza.... Smile

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:25 pm

He writes really well. His complaints against "He". I am wondering who "he" is, the President of Nigeria? Because it is so well wrtten and his spoken lanuguage skills and his responses in email do not implement the English language so skillfully, I wonder if it is plagiarized. If it is, whoa, that would put a full stop to everything! Of course it can't be too full stop because, after all, we need our buddy to travel.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 12 Jun 2007 Posts: 95

I have to ask:

I'm all for seeing him waste tons of time on bogus forms over and over, but don't you run the risk of him never actually filling out a real visa application that he would need to get to the Bahamas?

I'm just questioning whether it is worth risking giving him some frustration over something you'd ultimately want him to legitmately achieve. I think everyone would agree a safari to the Bahamas would be a far greater payoff than some forms. Wouldn't it be better to make the process of actually getting him there as seamless as possible?

You guys are the experts, this bait is great entertainment and I check it frequently. I just hope everyone is focused on the greater goal and not griefing him over a "quick laugh". 3d's time in singapore was priceless.

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:16 pm

@capricio - yes - that's what I was saying in my post above..

WARNING - I am not responsible for any feelings you may have while reading the following email from Ed. He has put his heart into it - - No puking please.....

My comments in red.

Quote:

Sweetheart,
How are you today?..Hope all is well?..Yesterday,while I was alone thinking about you.I composed a special poem for you..

HOW BEAUTIFUL...YOU ARE

HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE,MY LOVE
HOW VERY BEAUTIFUL!
YOUR EYES ARE DOVES,WHEN I STARE AT YOU...
YOUR HAIR IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE PERSIAN SILK..
YOUR TEETH IS AS WHITE AS SNOW
AND NOT ONE AMONG THEM IS BEREAVED.
YOUR LIPS ARE AS RED AS ROSE..
YOUR CHEEKS ARE LIKE HALVES OF A POMEGRANATE. (Aren't those big fruit?)
YOUR NECK IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE TOWER OF PARIS WTF Is it that long?
BUILT IN COURSES..
YOUR TWO BREASTS ARE LIKE TWO FAWNS, I guess now isn't time to tell him I have a flat chest?
TWINS OF A GAZELLE,
THAT FEEDS AMONG THE LILLIES
UNTIL THE DAY BREATHES
AND THE SHADOW FLEE,
I WILL HASTEN TO YOU...MY BELOVED.
YOU ARE ALTOGETHER BEAUTIFUL,MY LOVE;
THERE IS NO FLAW IN YOU.
COME WITH ME ..MY LOVE
COME WITH ME..
YOU HAVE RAVISHED MY HEART..MY LOVE, MY BRIDE
YOU HAVE SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET
WITH A GLANCE OF YOUR EYES
AND HAVE ENCHANTED ME WITH YOUR SMILES...
HOW SWEET IS YOUR LOVE,MY SISTER,MY BRIDE! WTF, did my dad not tell me something? I'm originally from the south...but had no idea I was going to marry my brother!
HOW MUCH BETTER IS YOUR LOVE THAN WINE
AND THE SMELL OF YOUR BREATHE IS SWEETER THAN ANY SPICE AND PERFUME.
YOUR LIPS DISTILL NECTAR, MY BRIDE; Oh shit - have I been drooling?
HONEY AND MILK ARE UNDER YOUR TONGUE;
THE SCENT OF YOUR GARMENTS IS LIKE THE SCENT OF ROSE... OMG he's trying to virtually sniff my panties???
INSIDE YOU IS AN ORCHARD OF POMEGRANATES
WITH ALL CHOICES FRUITS
WITH ALL TREES OF FRANKLINCENSE,MYRRH AND ALOES
WITH ALL CHIEF SPICES -
A GARDEN FOUNTAIN, A WELL OF LIVING WATER,
AND FLOWING STREAMS OF LOVE.. Shit! Have I gained that much weight to have all that in me?
IAM DRUNK WITH YOUR LOVE
HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE...MY LOVE
HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE ....MY DARLIN'
SET ME AS A SEAL UPON YOUR HEART,
AS A SEAL UPON YOUR ARM;
FOR LOVE IS AS STRONG AS DEATH,
PASSION FIERCE AS THE GRAVE...
ITS FLASHES ARE FLASHES OF FIRE,
A RAGING FLAME..
MANY WATERS CANNOT QUENCH LOVE,
NEITHER CAN FLOODS DROWN IT.
THUS,
IF ONE OFFERED FOR LOVE
ALL THE WEALTH OF HIS HOUSE,
IT WOULD BE UTTERLY SCORNED.
FOR YOUR LOVE IS PRICELESS..MY DARLIN'
HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE ...MY LOVE

Darlin',I dedicated this peom to you..How far have you gone with the Bahamas Visa?..I tried calling you yesterday,but my call seems to be diverted into your voicemail..It iis really fustrating..I just want hear you talk..I hear your sweet voice..Darlin',we need to talk..Please,call me..I will be waiting for your call..I will always love you.I look forward to your response.
Thanks God bless.
Edward Smith.

Ok I tried googling this - but can't find it - did he actually sit down and WRITE THIS himself???

Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:28 pm

^^^ Thank God someone else gets to critique them now Very Happy

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:41 am

That was just beautiful. Now think how elevated he is ?
It's going to be one hell of a fall when he hits the ground.

Master Baiter Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Posts: 237

@Eliza_Doolittle,

You should reply with something about he being as poetic as Solomon...and nothing further. LOL It's pretty much straight from Song of Solomon/Song of Songs 4 (with a few revisions and reworkings...LOL) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=26&chapter=4&version=31

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:06 pm

Thanks for the song of solomon. I'll tell him that's been one of my favorite verses out of the Bible and he's so sweet to redo it for me. LOL

** ACCOUNT CLOSED ** Joined: 15 Apr 2007 Posts: 766

Thank you for all brightening my day.

--J.D.

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 3:48 pm

Put on your "I feel sorry for Ed" hat please....

He hasn't heard from Amy in a few days..... Laughing

I've had time to post here but not to respond to him Laughing

n00bs take note: don't respond to your pets all the time - sometimes take a few days to get back to them. It keeps them well trained.

Quote:

Sweetheart,
I have been trying to reach you via and phone for past two days(2)..Iam really worried about you..What is going on?..Why are you not responding to mails and call..It is really fustrating..I find hard to sleep at night..I am really worried..Please,call me or respond to my mail..I love you..I look forward to your response.
Thanks and God bless.
Edward Smith.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Apr 2007 Posts: 19

You might want to tell him that some of the comparisons he used were extremely offensive. Slap him while he's in vulnerable poet mode.
That could explain the delay in responding as well. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:06 pm

Quote:

It's pretty much straight from Song of Solomon

That's what I was thinking when I read that.

Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 4:12 pm

Eddie finally sent the last pages of the visa form, so I'll be "submitting" them to the authorities today.

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