The Great Jewel Heist Safari: The Adventure Continues

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Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 3:26 pm

michael bolton wrote:

If it were me, I would ask him "If this is really Michelle, tell me what is the name that you used to call me when we were lovers" or some such.

Yup, I was thinking along those lines, and I'm off work sick, so I emailed her back and told her to tell whoever's in charge of the 'boys' to call me, as he has my number. This is what I got back:

M wailed:

Quote:

Honey,

I am excited to receive your respond,i did as you told me but it seems that they don't say anything to me,they just brought me over here in a village,i don't really know the name and i can't understand their language too.

I don't really trust this guys they mighty hurt me honey,please tell me that your coming to save me and you baby,last night they where saying something about father m4ximus coming to Nigeria i can't understand what is going on.

Please come and get me out of this horrible hell.

I love you somuch.

Mich3ll3.

Haven't got back to her yet. Also, after I tore a few strips off Flor4 about my so-called orders, she sent me this:

F said:

Quote:

This is the message we receive from you concerning the
releasment of mich3ll3 to your men's go through that
and get back to us immediately to know what is going
on.

Sm!th.
--- H4mish M4cb3th <[email protected]> wrote:

> Dear Smith,
>
> This from mr h4mish,i am really excited about
> your wonderful job and i
> am sending my men with the total amount 7,000 USD
> for apprication and i look
> forward to see you in my home country England.
>
> Have a wonderful day and thank you somuch.
> HM.

I also got this:

Mystery Guy said:

Quote:

Dear Mr H4mish,

Their is no need to introduce our self to you because we don't know who you are,we only deal with Father m4ximus Ph4llus,we receive your message to mich3ll3 for us to call you but we are sorry we don't have your number here with us.

Mich3ll3 was telling us that you are the right owner of the iteam's and not father m4ximus,that his only claiming to steal the iteam's from her,she was begging us to release her but we can not do that because we have been paid somuch money by father m4ximus for this deal that is why flee to senegal in getting her to here in Edo state.listen now,i undertsand the painful of losing such a amount of money as i was discussing with mich3ll3 today alone she told me all about you and your kindness for this i have made up my mind to release her with the iteam's as a leader of the team with out nobody concerned.

I was told that father m4ximus is coming to Edo state soon for the iteam's and our balance he was saying something about killing the she tonight,i will never do a thing like that because i have my own family with kids.

I will like to know the truth before concluding also with your contact number number.

Thanks.

Jeff.

And finally:

Quote:

On Nov 22, 2007 2:42 PM,wrote:
> Sir,
> i want to comfirm the authenticity of some valuables brought in my office
> today by one young boy and one pregnant white lady. The items was insured in
> scotland.i believe those young lads cannot aford those valuables and they
> must have it stolen from britain and came to nigeria to sell them. i saw
> print out of mail you wrote to them indicating that the valuables was
> unlawfully acquired.i have deposited the items with my bank promising to
> complete the payment by monday. Do well to get back to me or u call my
> mobile phone

My, what a busy morning he's had!! Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:01 pm

Wow! That is so nice! He contacted you to help you return the unlawfully stolen items! What a thoughtful guy! Maybe he should get a reward, eventually?

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:30 pm

Oh guys, this is priceless!! You may remember that the jewels belong to 4lici4, H4mish's wife? Well, I checked her mail just a moment ago, and she has 2 emails:

M said:

Quote:

Dear Mrs 4lici4,

This is mich3ll3,i just want to explain to you how it happen and i am alive with the jewels,and we are now in Edo state nigeria with one of h4mish men that he sent to pick me in senegal,i am very sorry for what i did i wasn't meant to do it just that this man called father m4ximus ph4llus that i mate in england ask me to steal the diamonds from you,he also the one that gave me the idea of everything and paid for my coming to him in bissau,through cargo ship,he was the one keeping since from liberia to senegal here he did not allow me to go near computer because i wanted to inform h4mish my way about.

I thank god that i have escape from his house and i am now with his men.please i want you to inform h4mish to come over here and get me out of this horrible place.i don't really know why he brought me over here telling me that this is his state,living home maybe he has something in mind.

Awaiting to hear from you.

Mich3ll3 D3lic3.

I haven't replied yet, but it will not be nice - does she really think 4lici4 is going to be nice to the woman who stole her husband, her jewels, and is carrying her husband's sprog??????? Twisted Evil

And then, if that wasn't funny enough, it's the return of love scammer Chuks, who you all know as Ike:

Quote:

Honey,

It has been a very longtime,where have you been it seems that you have forgotten about me,remember we are meant for love and be together,my love i wish to inform you that i am now in Greece working in a company that produced mike,i traveled since past 4 months now,am really very sorry to inform you late just that i am really very busy in the office,i will like to your address in London and your phone number we coming over there soon for a trip and i will love to see you and we have a dinner.

Love so much.
Chuks.

I wonder what he means by 'we' are coming to London?? It better not be that faithless trollop Mich3lle!!! Never mind, I'll romance him for a while, just to see what he's up to.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:38 pm

Hekate wrote:

i traveled since past 4 months now

If only he knew.... Rolling Eyes

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:57 pm

I'm amused that 'M' didn't mention the baby to A - so I've sent a 'why the hell should I help you' reply (with a lot more swear words in it!) to see if she 'fesses up! Wink

4 months' travelling made me laugh tho - would be great to get him to London, but I don't think it'll happen. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:57 pm

Nice very nice.
I don't think he has learnt anything after his 4 months.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:19 pm

No, he hasn't learned a thing of value. He really thinks H4mish has guys with MP5s running around Africa looking for jewels, that Interpol is looking for him, etc. This thread needs a sticky, with charts on every page, to keep track of all the comings and goings, various characters and their characters, etc.

I love how other lads are acting as informants, how they are trying to get the reward, etc. This has developed a life of its own, like a perpetual motion machine that keeps moving, faster and faster, with the same amount of input, pulling in lads like a vortex.

If we can only get hgim and 3d to Bahamas, to the same small island, and make them each think the other has the key to solve each others respective problems.

I also love the impersonating lads, with their lad speak... hahahah! My hat is off to you all.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 9:59 pm

OK folks, one last update before I go to bed. In reply to my rather displeased email to Flor4 about her falling for an impersonator she said:

Quote:

I don't understand what is going on.i receive this
> message on tuesday last week.what are we going to do
> now let me know.

As for the police, I asked for some ID and got this:

Quote:

> Attn,mr H4mish
>
> We understand that you think we are here for money or what ever you
> think,listen now if you don't want us to help you in this then speak your
> mind to us.below is my photo you request.
>
> Thanks.

This is what he sent me:

I told him that's not acceptable and I want to see a warrant card.

Mich3ll3 has been in touch again too:

Quote:

My Love,i am much excited to hear that your coming soon to save me out the
> hellshot.please let me know when your coming because am getting sick over
> through malaria and i don't know if the baby will be fine.
>
> Mich3ll3.

Mr J3ff D0n replied to my 'where did you get my email address from?' query to say that he got it from M. I'm going to ignore him for the moment.

And now for my personal favourite. I emailed the false H4mish address and said I was on to them - and this is what I got back:

Quote:

> I don't understand what your saying to me Mr h4mish,i just wanna help you
> and get mr d3lic3 to you and nothing more,but if you insult me then i will
> forget about her and fine my way back to senegal okay.
>
> F4ther M4x.

If I laugh any more tonight I'll have an asthma attack, I really will!!

So being a glutton for punishment, I checked 4lici4's emails, and found this from out favourite mother to be:

Quote:

I don't f*cking care what you say to me,but you must understand that i am carrying a baby for h4mish because he promise to marry me,i have emailed h4mish by my self and he promise to come and help me and get married with me okay.
>
> Bye.

4lici4 has just told her that H has done this kind of thing before, and taken the baby to sell to baby traffickers. And he can't marry anyone without a divorce from her first. Twisted Evil

And finally from the lad himself:

Quote:

My Love,
i am really very sorry i haven't inform you for so long,please forgive me.i don't really understand what your saying about been in prison or something of jewels please explain to me what you mean.

regards about coming to London,we are coming with the company management and we will locate in a hotel and i will like you to come over there and see me because i can't come to your house since H4mish wanna kill me concerning the last case we hard.let me have you number to call you.

Love You.
Chuk$.

Oh, and Mich3ll3 just tried to get me/H4mish to join her in a Google chat room. Can't do it tonight, but I might some other time.

Someone put out a call to Red, he needs to come back pronto! Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:45 pm

Crikey

... I take a day off and this is what happens! Laughing

Well the lad has been equally busy with me. He has sent F4ther M4x all the emails from the EFCC and the Nigeria Jewel Corp that he also sent to H4mish (above), plus one more (below):

1k3 posing as some other dude wrote:

Good afternoon,
i guess you are fine. i want to comfirm whether you know anything about valuables owned by one Mr hem1sh Laughing

. i guess it was registered in scotland. The items was brought in our office,here in nigeria by one young man and one pregnant white lady. so , i want to comfirm the authenticity of source of those items because they are costly and those young lads cannot afford them. i saw aprintout of mail you wrote to them,in the box, so that is how i got your contact.The items are with me and i have comfirmed them to be original.Do well to get back to me before i will make any monetary transfer.Are u a Rev Fr of catholic church? Do u know the Mr hem1sh,if yes please get me his phone contact.
kind regards.
D4m1an 4n1.
Chairman, J3welry w0rld niger1a limited.

Wow... "J3welry w0rld" sounds reputable Rolling Eyes

Meanwhile he has come up with a new plan for him and M1ch. He's clearly freaking out after the last email from F4ther M4x to the fake H4mish so this is a completely new tack. Personally I don't mind, it keeps him in the game longer if he doesn't go to the hotel we nominated and it makes him look like an idiot when it all goes to hell in a hand basket. Here's his "plan":

1k3 wrote:

My love,

How is my son doing today,hope everything is OK with you and him?we really have to Thank God almighty for the goodness and protection towards us.

Now you listen to my new plans,we don't have trust anybody now not even Mr Sc0tt or the hotel management we have to trust our self's to survives this evil plans towards.in my thinking and they have keep a monitor to me in that very hotel and that must be the receptionist,remember i was telling you something about the hotel because i did not trust them for one day,fake telephone number and fake website.please don't try and go to the hotel OK. Sorry Simba... next lad will have to enjoy the camps Sad

Now you must be very careful and more smart now,we will not go to the hotel again i will fine another hotel around Mali for us to stay and plan on how to go back to me state OK.right now i understand that his traveling to my country for get me,i have plans for him,my boys will get him at the airport and kill him since his planning to kill us. Shocked

i am smart now more than even and i want you to be like me now more than even.

i will get back to you soon on my way.

Your Husband.

I wonder if he really will send people to the airport to wait for him... Will that count as a failed airport meet? Laughing

I highly doubt he will of course, but a sign saying "F4ther M4x1mu5 Ph4allu5 meet your doom" at the airport would be priceless.

M1ch has just replied with this:

M1ch wrote:

my sexy lover,

ok baby i trust you completely and you always know best so i will wait for you to advice me on when you are arriving. Please tell me as soon as possible because i am trying to convince rup3rt to stay the weekend because you promised you will be here and i know you will never let me down or our beautiful son 1k3. i love you with all my heart.

your wife

Well back to it. I love how he is wasting his time emailing every character involved in this mess. I have no doubts, however, that he is also trying to resume his scamming career during this respite in travel Evil or Very Mad

. That's just the sort of filth we have to deal with.

*UPDATE*

Just a quick update from the lad to M1ch (guess he's online now):

1k3 wrote:

My Only Love,

I am happy that your OK with my only son 1k3?how is Mr Sc0tt doing,i was been stopped by the immigration concerning my paper's because one of them has already expired and they are asking for money for another paper but i don't have that kind of money with me here,the only money i have here is for our transport to my home country. Laughing

please you have to ask Mr Sc0tt his next location OK and get back to me with his responds.

Your Lovely husband,

I think I'll pop onto YIM and give him a giddy up. Fortunately M1ch has managed to convince Rup3rt to stay until the lad arrives! Woohoo! (no way am I giving up T1mbuktu that easily).

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:21 am

I've never seen a lad so completely and totally hooked before.
How many characters is he playing now? Sheesh. And am I reading this right that Fake M1ch is trying to get F4th3r M4x to go on safari?

I swear, someone needs to start up a fake 1K3 account and write to his fake M1ch, and see if you can get this lad to bait himself.

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:30 am

I recall a bait I ran earlier this year when I made the Lads believe that someone had chopped their dollar, and I mentioned two (fake) Lads who had supposedly contacted me. The original Lads tried to get me back on track by writing to me as fake versions of the fake Lads...

But this bait has taken that gambit to new extremes!

Master Baiter Joined: 31 Oct 2007 Posts: 130

Quote:

someone needs to start up a fake 1K3 account and write to his fake M1ch, and see if you can get this lad to bait himself.

Self-safari...needs a whole new icon!

Dam, I never thought I'd be addicted to a soap opera, but I always look for the latest installment on this one!

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:36 pm

^ Your wish is my command!

I think I annoyed Fl0r4:

Quote:

Listen and listen,don't you ever insult me again in
your whole life before you lose your life anywhere you are

Mr Jeff Don (the pretend leader of the equally pretend band of lads who have M) says:

Quote:

Yes your right,my guys is not good in english but i my self is a little bit trying.listen i don't think that this is the best time for this questions we have to act fast before father m4ximus arrive over here ok.but you don't care about that noproblem.God knows that i have tried for you,remember were been paid to kill you also.

Another threat! Should I be scared??? Shocked

He has disabled that mailbox now. But I just found a mail from a similar one in my spam folder, so I'll try replying to that!

Meanwhile, H4meed the copper is not happy at H's request for formal ID:

Quote:

Sorry i can't send out my Warrent card to you now,because i don't know you and alot of things are happening in nigeria killing and shoting Governor's and executive's i am sacred to send my picture to you becuase you might be the suspect trying to get me down.let me know your stand.

H has pointed out that H4meed himself could be someone pretending to be a policeman, and reiterated his request for some formal proof of ID.

the good father has also been in touch:

Quote:

I mean ms d3lice and not mr ok.when i see her i will get you intouch with you,don't be afraid

M4x.

H has just told M4x that he sees no reason to be afraid of him.

And so we get to the contents of 4lici4's mailbox:

From M:

Quote:

You will never understand and i am ready to deal with you when am back to england mark my word you tikr.

Another threat, AND what is possibly an insult - anyone got any idea what a tikr is?? Anyway, 4lici4 has written back insulting her, her mother, and all her female ancestors!

The lad himself has sent 4lici4 the usual rubbish about the room filled with vanilla scented candles and Kenny G (dear gods, does he never change his material??) I was quite despondent until I found this:

The Love God said:

Quote:

My Heart,

I am totally wet now,i wish your here with me,ever since i came at this company i haven't been with any other lady because i am waiting for you,remember that we where meant to be together in love and marriage.

which country did H4mish traveled to let me know how far it is,and i will make a move to come immediately for the love and i promise to kill you with my love.
i will never let you go,you will remain with me in love until the end of the world.

Love You.
Ch*k$.

Haven't replied yet, but I can see a knock-down drag-out catfight between 4lici4 and Mich3ll3 in the not too distant future! Or no, perhaps 4lici4 will offer to take the baby of Mich3ll3's hands.... Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:43 am

And so to this morning's update - yeas, earlier than is my wont, but the bleeding cats decided to wake me up as they were hungry! Evil or Very Mad

H4mish's mail first. From the mysterious Jeff D0nn:

Git no 1 said:

Quote:

On Nov 23, 2007 4:32 PM, J3ff D0n wrote:
>
> We have been paid to kill you by father m4ximus ph4llus,he inform us that your about to come nigeria soon.

I'm surprised at the good father, spreading such nonsense! Well, it seems all he speaks to H is nonsense, because when asked why he was impersonating H, his reply would have done Mystic Meg justice:

Git no 2 said

Quote:

On Nov 23, 2007 4:43 PM, Hamish Macbet Laughing

wrote:
> Well you may never understand what is going on until we meet in person.

H has told him that when they meet in person he's in for a surprise!

M is also waiting with her input for the day:

Git no 3 said:

Quote:

On Nov 23, 2007 4:52 PM, Mich3ll3 D3lic3 wrote:
> Honey,
>
> i haven't hard from you,whats going on,you promise to be hear soon and
> save me withyour son.please tell me your getting near.
>
> Mich3ll3 D3lic3.

H has promised to be with her soon. I'm surprised he's not suspicious about her emails, given that his mistress, the mother of his son and heir, signs herself off with her full name! He may notice eventually, I suppose!

4lici4's emails are less exciting this morning. More 'pron' from the lad, and M's response to 4lici4's offer to buy the baby:

Git no 4 said:

Quote:

Mich3ll3 D3lic3" said:
> You'r very stupid by saying such a crossbitrliy word to me you
> moron.listenand listen good,h4mish is in africa now am i
> right.before if you think that h4mish will come back to you that means
> you'r
> a dreamer okay.you can go ahead and keep enjoying you'r boy friend from
> nigeri4 i have forgotten his so called fucking name i will tell h3mish
> more
> about you.you think i don't know you'r ways.
>
> idiot.

So, I take it she doesn't want to sell the baby! I think I'll ask her if she's interested in having a threesome with 4lici4 and H4mish when he gets back.

Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:58 pm

An update this evening. 4lici4 told chvcks about the emails she's been getting from Mich3ll3:

Quote:

My Love,

I am really upset about what you just told me now concerning a woman telling you about our secret,please i want to kow how you come to know her and who is she to you, am sacred now.please tell me the truth about the lady and hope hamish will never hear about me again because i wanna get you out from him soon to me for everlasting life and marriage.

get back to me on how you know about the lady and where she come from.

Kiss.

Chuks.

I'm glad he's sacred. Makes it all worthwhile. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 11:50 pm

I'm so confused...

And I think the lad is as well because in all this commotion he's forgotten to email the REAL M1ch and the REAL Father M4x Rolling Eyes

Slaps on their way...

Oh, before I forget, this is what the lad sent me on Friday last week:

1k3 wrote:

Subject: STOP MOVING MUCH AROUND. Laughing

Love,

I'm really upset with you,i was talking to you last night and yo wasn't responding to me.how is my baby doing today also how are you doing, i wish to inform you that i have finished my papers with the immigration office here in burkina faso and i will continue my journey tomorrow morning to save you and my baby okay.please ask Mr Sc0tt to give me some days to arrive and i promise to pay him back for the help so far.

honey,i want you to tell me the exact city your now because i will be coming direct to the city from here and i will never stop over at the hotel been paid for me by Mr Sc0tt hope you understand my reason why and don't tell anybody not even Mr Sc0tt what is happening in the hotel okay.b smart more than me and i have the faith in God that will see you and my baby as soon as i arrive,please don't panic and stop moving much around,my pastor called and was telling me to be very careful in going there and we should keep everything very secret between us.

Your lovely Husband.

I think by "stop moving much around" he means stop logging in and out of YIM. I kept getting disconnected and he got all pissy... silly lad.

He hasn't responded to me in a couple of days so this means either he's genuinely pissed off (unlikely) or he's actually moving now. I know he wasn't in Burkina like he claimed (thanks to IP confirmation) but he may be now. I look forward to providing you guys with more info soon.

This is what M1ch said to him last week btw:

M1ch wrote:

hi darling,

i understand and i love you too. i wasn't responding because our generator kept failing. i was writing to you but it kept saying it was "undelivered" i am sorry about that, there is nothing i can, electricity here is very unreliable.

i will not say anything to anyone except to tell mr. Sc0tt that you will be here very soon so as to soothe his nerves as he is very anxious to leave as soon as possible. I will tell him to get his money refunded from the hotel since you don't need it. you are very smart baby, i love you.

as for your question, i have told you where we are, we are in a place called tombouctou, i believe Mr. sc0tt has drawn a map for you? anyway, i am very excited to hear your papers came through, you sound like you are very close. i love you so much! please send me the plane ticket when you have it like you promised.

your loving wife

Let's hope for the best eh Wink

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:21 am

1ke wrote:

.b smart more than me

Sounds like that shouldn't be any problem, then! Very Happy

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 12:24 am

Quote:

I'm so confused...

I've lost the plot completely Rolling Eyes

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:57 am

That makes two of us.

Pity you won't get him to Mali...

I was waiting for that boy to move his whining ass and move!

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:24 am

^^^ Ermmm why won't I get him to Mali?

I think he'll still go... he's just being lazy about it Very Happy

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 11:11 am

Exactly! lol

I'm just anxious to see him getting there and while about it.

But then...are you still planning to lead him on after getting him to the baiter's holy grail?

I thought he won't go there because Mich is continuing her journey to somewhere. O,o

Edit: Oh...it was from Ike...not Mich... Woot...he's coming. lol

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 10:41 pm

He's still emailing 4lici4 about their running away to Greece together. Laughing

IP on his last email showed up as Mali.

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 11:06 pm

As noted by Hekate... we received confirmation today... the lad is in Mali! (again Laughing

)

So here's his quick note to M1ch. Looks like he's back to internet cafes and credits again, because this is the shortest email he has sent her in weeks:

1k3 wrote:

Honey,

I hope everything is OK with you and my little son,please i am really very sorry for the delay,i had to move through overland because of security reason,right now i am in Bamako Mali and i will start up my journey to t0mbu0t0u first thing tomorrow morning to save you and my son,please remember what i told you about keeping secret OK.i have also replied to Mr Sc0tt about this and i hope to see you tomorrow OK.give this number to Mr Sc0tt to give me a call to be sure that am in Bamako:00223-331-xx-xx

I really miss you so much.

Your Husband,

Interesting... he gave me a Ghana number. Obviously hasn't had time to get a Malian number yet. Harry if you want to call him again it should cost him a pretty penny Wink

IP = (Mali)

He also sent this to the professor:

1k3 wrote:

Dear Pr0f Sc0tt,

I am very sorry for the late in replying,hope everything is alright with you and my wife,i got your mail right now and i wish to inform you that i am now in Bamako Mali,i just arrive this evening and i couldn't,t continue my journey so i decide to move on tomorrow morning to the camp,please i want you to stay at the camp with my wife because i don,t want be asking people about your name OK.

i am really very sorry for all the inconvenience this may cos you and i really appreciate the kindness.

Scared of telling people about Pr0f Sc0tt? He must be really freaking out about Father M4x.

Excellent...

Very Happy

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 1:28 am

Omigod... I think this is really going to happen -- you're really on the verge of a Timbucktu safari! Shocked

I'm starting up a fresh batch of popcorn, the beer is already on ice. Bring it on, Red!

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 1:44 am

Regarding the origins of the name"Timbuktu" (from Wiki):

Quote:

According to a popular etymology its name is made up of: tin which means � place � and buktu, the name of an old Malian woman known for her honesty and who once upon a time lived in the region. Tuareg and other travelers would entrust this woman with any belongings for which they had no use on their return trip to the north. Thus, when a Tuareg, upon returning to his home, was asked where he had left his belongings, he would answer: �I left them at Tin Buktu �, meaning the place where dame Buktu lived. The two terms ended up fusing into one word, thus giving the city the name of Tinbuktu which later became Timbuktu. However, the French orientalist Ren� Basset forwarded a more plausible translation: in the Berber languages "buqt" means ""far away", so "Tin-Buqt(u)" means a place almost at the other end of the world, resp. the Sahara.

Hmmmm, leaving some belongings at "the other end of the world" ... seems fitting Laughing

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