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Eliza_Doolittle
"Warned for lad hugging"
Joined: 16 Mar 2006
Posts: 1979
Location: Contemplating a plan to steal Shiver's cat
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:31 am |
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This Russian lady found a male cat on the side of the street tonight and asked her husband if they could take it home because it was sooooo sweet and sooooooo cute and it's sooooooo cold outside. She didn't know if it was male or female but it was really nice. I told her it was a male and that it needs to go to the vet to be neutered (he had a HUGE package). She asked me what all she needed for this cat. So I told her all the supplies to get. Then she asked about shampoo for it - I looked at her like - WHAT? She said - it's so dirty - I can't let it stay in the apartment like this.
I said: Honey - that cat is going to a) spray urine all over your house because it's not neutered and is a male b) scratch up your furniture and get fleas all over the place (it was infested) and c) scratch you up if you decide to give it a bath.
She said that the cat was real sweet she didn't think it would do those things. I told her that a cute kitty outside is different from the demon it will become inside - especially when she goes to give it a bath.
The lady told me I was wrong.
I didn't argue with her - but I'm smiling tonight at the thought of this russian lady - who's never had a cat -- getting scratched to pieces and wondering what happened to her sweet kitty.
Ok - kudos for her for rescuing it - but I'm just smiling because this lady was first acting like she knew nothing about cats and then telling me I was wrong about assuming that sweet HUGE MALE ADULT tom cat was going to scratch her to pieces when she put it in the bath tub.
Wish I could youtube this one! |
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Pastor Frank
Baiting Guru
Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 12237
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:45 am |
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I'm guessing it will look something like this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efFITQqkDTI |
_________________ "Father Juan are sure that you are man of God,because your behaviors showed you as unbeliever" -Mary R |
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BattleHawk77
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Posts: 609
Location: 7.2° N, 5.9° E, FL410, Heading 230, aboard Striker 419
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:48 am |
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Oh, do let us know how this turns out!
I've owned a few cats, and they despised baths. It took me and one brother to hold one little cat down long enough to get her clean, and we had had her for several years.
I get a strange feeling this lady will be carting this feline down to the vet in the morning, along with various scratches and, possibly, bite marks. |
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irishemigrant
** REMEMBERED **
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 4933
Location: 40*45' S 172* 34'E
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 7:32 am |
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!/ Enclosed shower compartment
2/ High rise work boots
3/ Leather and chain leg protectors, (as used by forestry workers)
4/ Padded work shirt
5/ Kevlar jacket
6/ Heavy padded Motorcycle gloves, (preferably the long forearm covering ones)
7/ Fullface motorbike helmet
8/ 1 cat
Stand in shower compartment with cat, securely close screens
Turn on shower
Turn off shower and rehang screen doors
Find cat
Place cat in cardboard box
Place cardboard box in shower compartment
Enter shower compartment and close screen doors
Turn on shower and introduce the shower head into a small opening in box
Observe that cats do not follow the laws of physics, gravity, the speed of light, and are able to achieve vertical flight with no inertia to overcome.
Rehang screen doors, replace broken glass in one, repair shower head
Decide that the cat is now clean,
Open the bottle of medicinal whiskey
Search for *Dogs, water loving* on Google |
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sekhmet29
Master Baiter
Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Leading myself astray
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 10:35 am |
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One of my cats really didn't mind having a bath (well, he didn't go completely insane every time I introduced him to water...), but the other one was a nightmare! I had to wear those special gloves with bits of rubber on to get a better grip, and literally pin him down in the bath with the shower on him, and hope that I could get all the shampoo off before he got too strong for me. And to think that I started off by bathing him in the sink...
Has this turned into a kitty-cat thread? (The nice kind, not the evil kind...) |
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<---TS certified "Atta Girl"! |
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breadcrumb
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 2075
Location: On my knees, licking floors together with TSnerd
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 11:24 am |
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hahahaha....that reminds me that my neighbour just told me a few days ago, that her young cat LOVES to take a bath with her. Everytime she lies in the bathtube her cat jumps in too, swims a few rounds, then gets out, shakes, and goes off to make a mess in the rest of the appartment.
Problem is, she cannot close the door when she is taking a bath, cause the litterbox is in there too |
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Breddan Butter
Retired Moderator
Joined: 09 Dec 2003
Posts: 4170
Location: Soligorsk, Belarus
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:11 pm |
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breadcrumb wrote: |
. . . the litterbox is in there too |
She's dumb!
Having the litterbox in the bath will make the cat litter soggy. |
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Cherrie
** Mentoring Guru **
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 1746
Location: Still digging up dirt...but now somewhere else.
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:38 pm |
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Quote: |
it was a male and that it needs to go to the vet to be neutered (he had a HUGE package). |
Jeeze...I'm so glad I'm not married to you Eliza |
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Connie L. Gus
Moderator
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 7243
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 4:18 pm |
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I gave up giving baths to cats for Lent. Really. Last spring was my last time. I figured just get the water warm, close the bath enclosure, drop in cat. Nope, never had a cat claw me up the body and over my face.
The water looked like the aftermath of the Hungary-Soviet Union Olympic water polo match of 1956. My Leukocyte hates getting pwned. |
_________________ x8
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Dionysius
Elite Baiter
Joined: 24 Mar 2004
Posts: 1639
Location: 61 Cockle St, Llareggub
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 4:50 pm |
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Back in the 80's my father was a coal miner. He received free coal, about a ton at a time. We had always had cats and at the time there were seven of the lovely little children. One of whom rolled in the coal dust and was black. He had to be washed. It took the four of us to hold him and wash him. Another time, a kitten knocked over a cold chip frying pan over herself and had to be smothered in swarfhager to get rid of the fat.
Intact tom cats are bloody nuisences with piddling everywhere to mark their territory. Even unneutered toms can be pretty bad. Sometimes shes can be just as bad. Over the years we had to spend quite a bit to replace things that had been destroyed by their anti social bums.
EDITED TO ADD.
@419weasel. Yes, sometimes my cats will do that. There is one who sits in the bath and won't jump out until her bottom is soaked. She also likes sitting in the washing machine. |
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Last edited by Dionysius on Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:41 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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419weasel
Baiting Guru
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 4207
Location: Somewhere in a hole. Waiting.
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:22 pm |
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Neither of my cats can stand being placed in the bathtub, water or no water.. Yet, they will both jump in the tub on their own, even if the water is running from the spout (not the shower head), and as long as it is not full of water. They splash their paws under the running water and even drink from it. I get demands to turn the faucets on. One likes being sprayed with a water bottle (and drinks from the stream), the other doesn't. Cats are strange creatures... I guess as long as they think the bath is THEIR idea, it's ok? |
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Hekate
Elite Baiter
Joined: 08 Aug 2005
Posts: 1338
Location: Scotland, UK
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:47 pm |
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I have 2 male cats (both neutered). One will grudgingly allow me to bathe him every 6 months or so. The other, smaller, one turns into a hissing, spitting, Tasmanian Devil style ball of ginger and white fur if he gets as much as a sniff of water! I had to wipe some shit off one of his paws on Saturday, and I look like I went 5 rounds with Jack the Ripper!! As they are both indoors cats, they don't really need bathing, according to my vet, so I've given up unless there's a specific reason to wash them. |
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Stoker Thompson
419Eater is my life
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 271
Location: Out There.
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 9:52 pm |
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My housemates this summer had two cats for their Kids. However the kids NEVER took care of the cats. So after a while I decided that the 'little cuties' needed a bath. the bath idea came about because I wanted to discourage the flea shuttle service that the cats were running at the time.
I put on a pair of yellow dish gloves and filled the sink with water. . . . . . . .
Eventually it worked when I held the cat down and someone else washed it.
Didn't feel the slightest bit bad about not going Mano e Mano with the little F'ers either! |
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 10:17 pm |
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We had a cat when I was a kid, and he liked to visit the neighbor's cow barn for days at a time. He came back especially smelly one day, and it took all five of us kids to hold him down in the tub. One on each leg...
kind of like giving a cat a pill.
Quote: |
How to give a cat a pill:
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if
holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of the cat's
mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.
As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and
swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.
Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, throw away soggy pill
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth
with right finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front
and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly
with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler
and rub cat's throat vigorously
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
Doulton figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head
just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth
open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass
of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove
blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Remove cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open
with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply
cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw
tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
Take last pill from foil wrap.
13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind
tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's
mouth open with small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece
of filet mignon. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat
to wash pill down.
14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.
Call furniture store on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and call pet shop to see if they
have any hamsters.
How to give a pill to a dog:
1) Wrap it in bacon
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 1:26 am |
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Eliza_Doolittle wrote: |
This Russian lady found a male cat on the side of the street tonight and asked her husband if they could take it home ... |
I want to see what happens when she visits the Colosseum in Rome. |
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Standard Procedure
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 21 Nov 2004
Posts: 845
Location: Physically at school, mentally at the Grand Prix
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:18 am |
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^^ Is there something I missed when I was in Rome????
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_________________ Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. - Anything said in Latin sounds profound
The following statement is true
The above statement is false |
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:25 am |
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Scam Patroller
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 11857
Location: UK
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:25 am |
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:29 am |
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Scam Patroller wrote: |
... it was originally aired in 200 ... |
BC or AD? |
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Scam Patroller
Baiting Guru
Joined: 08 Jul 2004
Posts: 11857
Location: UK
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:33 am |
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Ima Baeder
Baiting Guru
Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 18313
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 3:52 am |
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This thread is hilarious!!!
@Cherrie
@Slaphappy: So true!
I've been to the Colosseum. . . Didn't notice the cats.
To give a cat a bath you're supposed to put an empty milk crate (or reasonable facsimile) upside down in the bottom of the tub. The cat will cling onto THAT rather than claw up your arms. . . . or so I've heard.
I have two cats, one likes baths, the other one could be the dirtiest cat in the world and I still won't be giving her another bath. The last time I gave them baths, rather than try to escape away from me, she craned her neck around (I swear she looked me in the eye) and attacked me with teeth and claws. One set of her claws was imbedded in my arm (kind of like what they do with the window screens) and stuck. . . I couldn't yank it out right away because I refused to let go and let her out of the water. A wet, flailing cat is no fun. A wet, flailing cat who is scared you're going to kill her (because you just might!) is even less fun.
Like I said, she's never having another bath. |
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josslyn
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 56
Location: Montreal
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 4:52 am |
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My cat hates baths. Actually, he hates to be groomed. This poses a problem as he is a himalayan and has long hair that tends to knot in the spring. His behavior is so bad that he has been banned from one grooming facility in our suburb. So, it's up to me to bathe him and is it ever a nightmare. He usually makes a break for it when he is all soapy and slippery and I have to chase him around the house. |
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B.L.Z. Bubb
Dudley Dooright
Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 723
Location: Dreaming of the Eater Ladies
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:26 am |
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Cats hate baths.
Mine had a far simpler solution...
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