Author |
Message |
Roycropper
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin
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Posted:
Fri Nov 23, 2007 9:40 am |
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He signs himself Kevin Johnson, but the header gives the sender as 'Brown Essence', so that's who I'm replying to, I won't talk to anyone else.
Quote: |
Brown Essence <[email protected]>
to me
Goodday ,
I am looking for your cooperation in building a Tourist Hotel or Real Estate in your country. I am sorry if this is not in line with your business.I need an experienced person like you to assist me to set up , develop the project and assume responsibility of ownership as chairman
but will be bringing
in profit /distribute profit monthly or nnually.However ,I got your email information on your Hotel contact list. your immediate reply will be highly appreciated and I shall give you more information on this project.
Mr Kevin Johnson |
Lord N0rris is your man, after all, he does own Somerset....
Quote: |
Dear Mr Brown Essence,
I may be able to help you build a real estate, as I own hundreds of
acres of land, here and in Africa. Do you want to buy some? Or I could
give you the land and we share the profits.
--
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And off script we jolly well go, hopefully... |
_________________ the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
x4 6Yrs x6 |
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Bogbot
Master Baiter
Joined: 23 Mar 2004
Posts: 242
Location: North of Perth, WA
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Posted:
Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:12 am |
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And as time goes on his name will become Brown Effluence won't it? |
_________________ x10
First let me start by reminding you that my name is not Mr. Fucker, do address me as Barr Eric Efuka. (c) Barr. Eric Fucker
WHAT DO WE NEED BUCKET OR TOILET ROLL TO DO WITH THE MUPPET? (c) A particularly stupid Charles Soludo |
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PsycheDelia_Smith
Baiting Guru
Joined: 30 Oct 2004
Posts: 3577
Location: Devon, UK
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Posted:
Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:18 pm |
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I recently received a cry for help from a "Brown Johnson", could they perhaps be related?? |
_________________ SATISFIED CLIENTS:
"I was forced to sell off my designers black suit to be able to return back to Ouagadougou and on my coming back here my wife
took me to the cyber cafe and showed me the site where my photographs of circumcision was put on the net."-'Tosser' 0gugu0
"I am now completely twatted and shagged and will obey all your instructions to the fullest."-"Tosser" Oguguo
"Frankily speaking,I wouldn't want to travel to the far east again."-Edward Smith, Lagos-Singapore (14600 miles round trip via Dubai)
9x 4 x Lagos-Accra , 3x Port Harcourt - Ibadan, 1x Lagos-Singapore, 1x Burkina-Bamako
'Ed', 3 yrs 8 mnths 'Oguguo',6 years and 4 months |
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dr stephen williams
Baiting Guru
Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Posts: 16749
Location: Dreadful Hater-ville
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Posted:
Fri Nov 23, 2007 2:44 pm |
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well, maybe some of his 'essence' leaked out on the other guys 'johnson'.... |
_________________ x10 Acra-Ctnu Tgo-Pnjari Lgos-Ctnu Lgos-Ynde Lgos-Mndmba Lgs-Prku PrtHrcrt-Abche Lgos-Nttngu Bmko-Ctnu (wDQ) Frnce-Dbln (wPadme)
x2 x7 x7 x6 Team Turd Lgs-Dla Bnn-Lbra Acra-Dkar Dkr-Bnjul- Dkr-Tmbktu-Abche-Adre-N'djmna Lgos-Cairo-Aswn-Jail Ctnu-Lgos Ctnu-acra Lgos-Jbrg-Drbn-Prt-Elzbth-CT-Sprngbk-CT-Drbn-CT-Hrre-Lska-DsSlm-Mmbsa-Nirbi-Kmpla 28,510 Miles
x2 x6 x4 Team Woody Acra-Sngpre Acra-Dkr-Rsso-Bmko Acra-Ctnu
Lgos-Dkr-Rsso (wKLG)
x22 SS x3 x303 :
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Simba
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Posts: 4093
Location: Bila Shaka
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Posted:
Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:46 pm |
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When does next week's competition begin?
I have two Senegal lads that must surely be contenders for silly name of the week... |
_________________ =5imba Safari Camps
=King Zongo-Ouaga to Accra to Lome to Accra to Lome
=Mr Duru-Ouaga to Accra to Ouaga to Abidjan
=Mr Yetonde-Sierra Leone to Accra
=Mr Jiullus-Abidjan to Accra to Kumasi to Tamale
=Mr Dandy-Abidjan to Monrovia-SSC Liberia
=Mr Mandela-Jo'burg to Maun-SSC Botswana
=Mr Danka-Dakar to Bangul-SSC Gambia
=Mr Twumasi-Accra to Cotonou-SSC Benin
=Mr Gomer-Lagos to Douala to Parakou-SSC Cameroon & SSC Benin
=Mr Chukwu-Lome to Accra to Koforidua. Lome to Lagos. Lome to Cotonou.
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon
Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17388
Location: Leading my wolf pack
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Posted:
Fri Nov 23, 2007 9:58 pm |
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Roy; please teach Mr Brown Essence that it's not all gravy... |
_________________ Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your dead Ok
May you never se the end of the year, May you sick and die in JESUS NAME AMEN.
MARK MY WORD, YOU SHALL FALL SICK, IF YOU DONT PLEASE WITH ME, YOU SHALL DIE OF THE SICKNESS, THIS IS MY FINAL WORD TO YOU
I HAVE PLACED YOU UNDER MY ORACLE GODS,
YOU SHALL CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS OR YOU DIE
x5 x2 x 246
x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
x 7 |
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Mercury
Master Baiter
Joined: 23 Feb 2007
Posts: 157
Location: Ireland
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Posted:
Sun Nov 25, 2007 6:03 pm |
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Just got this today
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_________________ "STOP KIDDING AROUND AND GET UP YOUR ASS AND GO MAKE THE PAYMENT IIMEDAITELY.AM NOT JOKING AND AM NOT FUCKING AROUND WITH YOU AT THIS VERY MOMENT"
"should i go to hair dressing salon for the application of the tattoo?"
Join the church of today |
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Roycropper
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin
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Posted:
Mon Nov 26, 2007 4:44 pm |
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Emma Sexy knows how to get round Father Jack - 'girls!', though Johnny walker or Jack Daniels would have got his attention, I'm sure.
As predicted, my lad is now answering to 'Brown Essence', and has dropped 'Kevin Johnson'.
Quote: |
Dear Lord N0rris Cole
Thank you for your response to my mail, I want to apologies for my late in response to your E-mail I have been very ill and had been in the hospital ever since, Well thank God I am feeling better now, So I decided to write to you about our Project Plan.
I am full of joy that you are willing to assist me set up a Exclusive 5 star hotel there in your country, I must let you know that I deposited the sum of $150 Million United States Dollars which I made off the sales of my Real Estate here in England due to the high rates of taxes and I was not really making enough benefits so I sold of my property and made deposit of the funds with The Financial Company for this project.
I have this believe that with your Partnership as a citizen of your country, It will profit us a lot to set up an Real Estate, or what do you think, I will send you more details concerning the project plan as soon as I gain your response to this mail.
Yes your PERCENTAGE 20% kindly confirm the receipt of this mail to enable me furnish you with more details concerning this project.
I hope and want to believe that it is well with you.
I will be expecting your urgent response on the above arrangement ,
My London contact
Mob+447045xxxxxxx
Thank You and
Mr Brown Essence
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Lad sys he is in London, however his IP is in Nigeria...
I will try and keep him off-script, and see how he is fixed for a meet in London...
Quote: |
Dear Mr Brown Essence,
I am so sorry to hear that you have been ill.
This all looks very promising. Unfortunately I am deaf, following an
explosion aboard HMS Eater, when I was her captain, during the war.
However my butler, Geez3r acts as interpreter for me.
I understand that you already have a lot of money, so what do you need
from me, land?
Let me know where and when we could meet in London, or you could come up to Quimf1ngers, and visit the castle.
--
Lord N0rris of Cole
B0nneville Castle,
Quimf1ngers,
Lancashire |
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_________________ the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
x4 6Yrs x6 |
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Roycropper
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin
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Posted:
Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:27 pm |
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being stuck in Ladland, Mr Essence has a problem meeting me in England, where he pretends to be...
Quote: |
Dear Lord N0rris
Thanks very much for your response. I appreciate your effort for this hotel project, Actually I am very impressed on you based on your credibility to handle this project appropriately.
For this reason, I want you to arrange for an urgent face-to-face meeting with my representative so as to discuss the modus operandi of this transaction and commence on this transaction immediately without delay.
I do hope you understand, let me know if you are capable of handling the Funds. as soon I got your reply I will send you more details,My representative can meet you this week in Spain?
Get back to me
I will be expecting your urgent response on the above arrangement,
My London contact
Mob:+447xxxxxxxx
Thanks god bless you
Mr Brown Essence
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He also sent a very long winded contract, I shall have fun picking the bones out of it. Apologies in advance if you've not read one of Lord N0rris' letters before, he doesn't do politically correct, he is 87....
Quote: |
Dear Mr Essence,
What the bloody blue blazes?
I live in Northern England, you live in London, why on earth would I want to go to Spain to meet your representative?
I can meet you in London, or Lancashire, what more do you want? If this project is just too much trouble for you, please say so.
My wife's cousin, The Queen, confiscated my passport after the unfortunate incident in Ghana, when I accidentally bumped off some darkies after a few brandies. Not my fault, it was dark, I had an elephant gun, and they weren't smiling.
I read the contract you sent with interest, who is the investor and who is the principal partner? It's not very clear. Can I draw your attention to this paragraph:
INVESTOR inherits 70% of the shares whereby PRINCIPAL PARTNER has 20% and 10% will be for the maintenance of the Hotel. It is in mathematical ratio of 6:3:1.
Your grasp of basic mathematics does not fill me with confidence. I will sign the contract when I know where the hotel is being built, location is everything these days.
--
Lord N0rris of C0le |
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_________________ the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
x4 6Yrs x6 |
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Night_Hawk
Master Baiter
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 104
Location: Ravenholm
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Posted:
Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:11 am |
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I had a lad named Bimbo Jack. |
_________________ You wouldn't be a madman would you? -
I AM NO MORRE INTRESTED IN THIS SHIT ANY MORE. - (Favorite Lad)
If i were your mother would you treat an old lady like that,how wicked can you be? -
Old boy the lawyer just fainted when he received the fake cs you sent,excelent,the lawyer is now in hospital kindly pray for his health,because if the lawyer dies the lawyer's family will chase your life.ok - |
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justinv
Wannabe Baiter
Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 94
Location: Australia
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Posted:
Wed Nov 28, 2007 3:06 am |
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The dumbest name ive heard is Wood Wood! Ive also had John John, Richmond Richmond, Alexander Alexander etc.. They obviously dont realise how dumb it sounds. |
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Eniac
Elite Baiter
Joined: 01 Apr 2004
Posts: 1701
Location: Dragasani - Lagos - Moscow
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Posted:
Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:20 am |
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My alltime favourite is Mr. KASH MONEY.
Eniac |
_________________
some freaks wrote: |
may god punish your mother forever and also punish your family to useless them all.
dont you know that you are a very big idiot to deal with, kindly fuck your mother asssssss to kill her. - ALHADJI FARUK
suxk my dick asshole go an die in helllllllllllllll - A. Povake
May your days never be long. you are a fraudster and please stop writing me because i will be force to send the italian mafia to kill you. bye forever you witch. - Barrister Mrs. Tori Freddy
Also don;t scarry when somebody from my romanian frieds will apper at your real home address. - Martina Tiffany alias Catalin Budoi
Mr please dont make o joke with us because we dont are stupid - Brejner Barbosa |
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Doctor X
** ACCOUNT CLOSED **
Joined: 15 Apr 2007
Posts: 766
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Posted:
Wed Nov 28, 2007 1:02 pm |
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@Roy
Hilarious!!
I think I found an old picture of the Lord from his service during "the Raj":
--J.D. |
_________________ וגם־אני נתתי להם חקים לא טובים ומשפטים לא יחיו בהם
ואטמא אותם במתנותם בהעביר כל־פטר רחם למען אשםם למען אשר ידעו אשר אני יהוה |
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Roycropper
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin
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Posted:
Thu Nov 29, 2007 10:13 am |
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/\/\ That might well be him, running his curry mine in India.
Brown essence has annoyed Lord N0rris, mainly by sending him a format reply, and not going off script at all. That will never do, I don't do straight bait.
Quote: |
Listen Essence,
I cant go to Spain, have no f*cking passport. read my bloody emails you muppet.
If you want to go to Dubai to get a sun tan, that's not my problem, if you were more interested in this project you wouldn't want to go on holiday. Where is this bloody hotel going to be anyway, you don't answer my questions.
your $150 Million Dollars have been for cash payment in the Bank Payment Center in Spain,
Please explain what this gibberish means.
--
Lord N0rris of Cole |
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_________________ the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
x4 6Yrs x6 |
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Worf
Elite Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 1690
Location: Florida - it's hot down here
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Posted:
Fri Nov 30, 2007 6:53 pm |
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I've had a rash of celebrity lad names lately - Harrison Ford, Patrick Duffy, and Alf! |
_________________ "Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
= Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
= Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
= Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
= Stanley, co-bait with VDJ, Gadget and Jayhawk - Aba to Benin City
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jonclay1440
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 27 Aug 2004
Posts: 23
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Posted:
Sun Dec 02, 2007 11:40 am |
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Just had end up in my mail box. |
_________________ "We have to be careful not to fall victim to impostors."
"If you are willing to assist, I think you should discuss with my lawyer. What exactly is he talking about???"
"So will your family and generation rust narnia?"
"Due to the high occurrence of internet scams, i completely understand your scientism." |
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HomerJFong
Courtesiless son of a doggy
Joined: 16 Nov 2003
Posts: 3160
Location: Now seeking sanctuary in the Conch Republic
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Posted:
Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:28 pm |
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Quote: |
Dear Winner,
Compliment of the day to you.
YOU have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of 2,000.000.00
(GBP)
To file for your claim, contact our fiduciary agent:
Mr BUN WASH.
Email: [email protected]
Phone: +234 803 927 1858
Online coordinator |
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_________________ "I was at the Abuja Embassy Today, the Security guards say that the is no Mr. Bryan Adams working with them at either the lagos or abuja embassy. and did not let me in." - Efosa Erhabor - (Accra to Abuja)
"We stayed there for two days hopping to get any of you" - Pastor Collins
"i will report to webmaster,abuse and the police hold and see, .....go to hell and rust in there bastard........bitch" - Steve Wright
"This office will like to inform you that your winnings have been forfieted due to acts unbecoming of a humanbeing." - The Alpha Lottery
"A MAD MAN WILL PREGNANT YOUR JUNIOR SISTER AND THE BABY WILL BE A MAD BASTARD LIKE YOU." - Mahadul Usman
"I AM NOT A FOLL LET ME BE BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST AN ANIMAL TO DEAL WITH" - Tunji Adams
x5 |
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Roycropper
Baiting Guru
Joined: 14 Nov 2005
Posts: 7992
Location: Luxury Coffin
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Posted:
Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:28 pm |
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Bun Wash? Isn't that a pr0n website?
I once had a win in the Irish Lottery, the coordinator was a Mr Brain Hunt. Sounds more like a gameshow.
Poor Brown Essence is wriggling around the fact that he isn't really in London, which is why I'm so keen to meet him there. (He's really in Lagos, surprise surprise)
Quote: |
Dear N0rris,
I thank you for feed back though it were little insultive, but that is transaction relationship for you, that is by the way. Please forget about bringing your international passport let us establish the a good relationship first, then we can know each other more.
If i may sugest, can we meet in africa?.
Let me have your feed back.
Regards
Brown Essence |
Quote: |
Dear Essence,
I'm sorry that you find me insultive, but what part of 'No Passport'
do you not understand? How am I supposed to travel without one?
Why on earth do you want to meet me in Africa?, it's a God forsaken
bloody awful hellhole, believe me, I've been there. As you and I shall
both be in London, we shall meet there.
I shall meet you this Friday, at 2pm, at the Inn The Park Restaurant,
St James Park, London. http://www.innthepark.com/index.asp
If you or your representative are not there, I shall know that you are
not serious. As a sign of good faith I shall instruct my manservant to
bring �50,000 cash, to get things started.
I shall be the good looking elderly gentleman in a shooting jacket,
shouting at the clueless lackeys, my manservant shall be in a morning
suit, carrying a briefcase.
Please bring some written proposals, or send them to my lawyer,
Barrister Les Batt3rsby, at [email protected]
--
Lord N0rris of C0le
Bonn3ville Castle,
Quimf1ngers,
Lancashire |
EDIT: I just noticed an older email, from Essence's bank:
Quote: |
Attn:Lord Norris of Cole
We are in inform you, dated on the 1stth of December 2007
I was unable to reach Mr. Brown Essence as I was made to understand by the Doctor that he had a very serious Heart attack, At this very minute I ahev no chioce but to proceed with arrangement as instructed by him to effect the release of the funds to you.
I need you to confim to me if I should proceed with all necessary arrangement as regards the release of the Funds to you.
Regards,
The consultancy firm managing the Vault is Ashmores Payment Centre Bank PLC. The director is Payment Centre Bank vault at 1 Churchi Place , Spain , Payment Centre Bank PLC,
Name: Ash mores Consultancy Firm.
Phone: + Tel.+34 96 xxx xxxxx or. 34 65 202 xxxxx
Fax: +34 8704xxxxxx
Mr. Fred Lambel
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A quick reply:
Quote: |
Dear Mr Lambel,
I have no idea what you are talikng about.
Brown Essence emailed me this morning, he didn't mention a heart attack.
What fund, and what vault are you talking about? We are building a
hotel together.
Get a grip, man.
Lord N0rris of C0le |
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_________________ the European Union has bounced on our freckles
COULD YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WENT TO THE BANK
our Agent is Completely broke, pocketless and stranded
I WLL SEND AN AFRICA WITCH TO ATTACH YOU BASTARD
You go die like bird
i started shouting HALLELUJAGOBBLE but none of them notice me immediately police arrested me due to the shouting
f*ck u asshole ur damn mother will loose ur fcuking skull brain ur brain is nothing to compare with rat f*ck ur u
MY FRIEND ALEX WAS DETAINED IN POLICE STATION
I am not happy due to the question i answered at money office. Let me tell you do not play with me ok.
x4 6Yrs x6 |
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