My first bait, with Miriam Abacha

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Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 7:09 am

This wasn't as amusing to read as I had hoped, and Yahoo pulled the plug on her account as soon as it was getting interesting.

Quote:

--- miriam abacha <[email protected]> wrote:
> Dear Friend,
>
> I am Mrs Miriam Abacha, the wife of General Sani
> Abacha the Late
> Nigerian Head of State.Please before you start to
> read my mail go
> through this link
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1935646.stm
>
> I am presently in distress and under house
> arrest,while my son Mohammed
> is undergoing trial in Lagos and Abuja though he has
> just been recently
> granted bail under the condition that my family
> refunds to the Federal
> Government some amount of money. *edited, blah blah blah*
>
> Mrs Miriam Abacha.

My reply:

Quote:

Dear Miriam,

I feel for you. Please let me know how I can assist
you.

Best wishes,
Felicity *Austin Powers character*

No reply, so I send a frantic e-mail asking where she is.

Quote:

Miriam!! Is everything ok?? Please write me! I want to
help you!

Miriam, surprisingly, replies, but I lost the e-mail. All I have is my own reply:

Quote:

Dear Miriam,

How are you? I hope you are well, considering. Is
your depression better?

I will be happy to do all that you ask, but there's
one problem. You want lots of identification from me,
but how do I know you're really Miriam? I am really
embarressed to ask for some proof, but I have to,
since I am sending so much personal stuff to you.
See, I was once scammed through e-mail once before.
Someone pretending to be with AOL asked for my credit
card number and I sent it to them! They bought lots of
stuff, like electronics and alcohol, and I had to pay
half the bill. I had to sell my car to do this. Sad

So you see, I have to be careful now. Can we find a
way around this? Can you prove you are really Miriam
Abacha? My heart tells me you are honest, but my brain
(and wallet!!) remind me to ask lots of questions and
ask for proof.

Can you send me a photo of yourself, holding a sign
with my last name on it? Then I know it's really you!
I am attaching a photo of myself, so that you will
know I am for real.

Once you send me a photo of yourself, holding a sign
with my last name on it, then I will send you all you
ask, because I know I can trust you.

Miriam, I want to help you so much. I even want to
fly to Ghana, even though Greece would be closer,
because I want things to go smoothly, and also to meet
you and buy you lunch.

Best wishes!!
Felicity

I attach the following photo: http://hem1.passagen.se/indish/roller1.jpg

Quote:

hello,
please i am going to send you my international
passport as an identification ok.
please i want you to forward to me the requested
information so we can move on. are you married? my son
saw your picture and got triped about your body built.
just hold on for my picture
mariam

I receive an obviously fake passport.

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 7:23 am

After sending me three e-mails about the "tripled body built" and the passport promise, I get this one.

Quote:

hello,
here is my passport and i will want you after seeing
it to give me the details i need and to also declear
you sincer intent to assist me and your readiness to
travel to claim the consignment so we can move on i
wont want any further delay ok.
mariam

I play dumb and blow my original boyfriend story in the eagerness for a lovestruck Prince.

Quote:

Hi!!

Oh, Miriam, I am so glad to hear from you. I was
really really worried as I hear there are many
troubles right now where you live.

Your son is very kind. I am not married. I am
currently single. I had a boyfriend, I moved here to
the U.K. to be with him but we are now "on break." I
do not know if we'll get back together. I'm really
sad. I'm worried he loves someone else.

Here are some more photos for you and your son! Here
is a photo of me (on the right), my friend Julianne
and her husband Burt at Burt's birthday party. And
here is a photo I took of my boyfriend, Paul. Isn't
he sexy? He's Irish. I'm so sad to look at it. Sad

I have really hard favor to ask of you, Miriam. Burt
(Julianne's husband, the one in the photo) says that
passports can be easily faked. Is that true? Anyway, I
did not tell him anything about our transaction as I
know it is Top Secret! But he said that anytime you
enter into an international transaction, you have to
get a current photo of the other person.

So, I have to ask you (or your son, I'd like to see a
photo of him!!) to take a current photo of one of you
(you or your son!) with holding a sign with a password
only I would know. I can't really think of a
password, so just use my last name, Shagwell. So, you
or your son should take a picture, holding a sign with
my last name. Smile

I hate to ask for something like that, Miriam, it
seems so rude. But Burt says that's the only way. And
I know you wouldn't rob me, but I'm so shy about these
things. Paul was so mad at me when they took my credit
card and he called me all sorts of names.

But, I am attaching my British passport as a show of
my trust in you. I know that's ok to send. Once you
send the other photo, I can send you the bank account
and my address.

Didn't you need my fax number? I forget. I will send
that right away. Let me know all the things you need
again, I'm so forgetful and I never save my e-mails.
(Paul says I'm such a dumb blonde!!)

Hugs, kisses and love to you and your son,
Felicity

I send the following crap:

The boyfriend, which you know as Joshua Tree Era Bono: http://www.u2takemehigher.com/Bono/jhum/bo-jt49.jpg

A photo of Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore and the original Felicity, Heather Graham which isn't linking, alas.

And my horrendous passport, which I won't even post, as it was a mangled one of Shivers. (Sorry, Shivers.) But it was obviously, obviously fake.

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 7:38 am

The first of many confrontations with Miriam. Oh, the irony. At first I thought she was accusing me of faking my passport...

Quote:

hello,
i am so angry after reading this ur mail.
do you mean passports are easily forged , do you mean
you forged your own passport . well if you people
fordge documents in your country i am sorry is a big
offence here we dont practice such here and we are
still back wards in technology here and we dont have
such equipment to forge documents ok.
i am very upset, how can you ask me to go and call a
photographer and write a sign and hold on my hands and
the photographer takes me a shot all in the name to
trust me or my son.

what do you take me for, have you forgotten i was one
time the first lady of this great country and that my
pride is still there, do you know my son is a prince
and how would you expect of such from us or even say
it.
if you are not satisfy with my international passport
well i am sorry you have to get a flight down to my
country to see us face to face that would be simple
ok.
i want to let you know that the urgency to get this
consignment out of this country is highly needed and
my son has fallen for you i wish i have your telephone
number he wants to speak with you. i didnt tell him
what you requested from us because if i do he will be
so mad at me.

Quote:

MIRIAM!!

Why are you angry at me? Oh my gosh, you're making me
cry. I'm sitting here crying right now. I never
forged my passport, I am dumb, I wouldn't even know
how!! Burt just told me people do that, and I know
it's a crime and I never said you did it.

WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!! People are always yelling
at me and making me cry. Paul is always getting mad at
me too. I'm so sick of it!!

All I wanted was to be careful, Burt says you always
ask for a current photo from people. he's super rich,
so I listened to him. If i hadn't asked for more
proof and then someone took all me money again, then I
would have gotten yelled at by Burt, Paul and
Julianne.

I already am having problems dealing with my boyfriend
not loving anymore, I dont want you and your son mad
at me too!! WHY ARE YOU MAD!!!

I sent you lots of photos of myself and you didn't
even SAY anything. You didn't say I was pretty or that
Paul was sexy, and you DIDN'T thank ME for my passport
which Burt says is a risky thing to send after all!!!

YOU ARE BEING MEAN and maybe I WONt help you at all!
Here I am being nice and then you are just YELLING at
me. I thought you and your son were nicer people!!!

Plus I really just wanted to see a photo of your son
and know what he looked like. Why would you need to
call a photographer, you must have a camera and then
you just photograph him?? I know I'm dumb, but you are
not making any sense either. I have a really nice
photo of myself i was going to send to you, because I
was so flattered by your son but now I won't because
you obviously don't LIKE or TRUST me.

Meanies!!

Felicity

Quote:

hello,
you a lot of time to play with my son romance love and
all what not ok.
my son is handsome good and nice, we are nice people
here, sorry i forgot to tell you your picture is so
nice and that of your boy fried, he is a handsome
young man ok.

i will ask my son to send you his picture so you
compare him with your boy friend.
let us face business first, i have less years to spend
here because i am already an old woman, this funds we
are talking about is going to be enjoyed by you and my
son because he will be coming over with me to stay in
your country and over see the business which we are
going to set up with the funds ok.
so get it from me, you are nice i have not said you
forged it but because of the way you sounded in your
mail i wrote that. listen i am not after your penny,
how much do you have that you can give to me.
lets go on to business. i want this consignment move
out of this country tomorrow to greece, i want you to
confirm your consent and your readiness to travel to
greece to claim it.
my son is even making arrangement to meet you in
greece.
let me have your telephone number so my son will call
you.
please do that.
we love you ok
mariam

She bounces back!

Quote:

Hi!

Well, I am glad you are not mad at me. Here's another
photo of me. Paul took it, that's why it's so nice,
he's a professional, freelance photographer. He makes
alot of money doing this. (So you see, I do have money
to worry about!!)

I don't want you to be mad at me again, but I would
much rather communicate by e-mail and also by fax.
This is because at my home, I live with a roommate. I
used to live with Paul, but after our big fight, I
moved in with a friend. (Hopefully temporarily, her
apartment is too small.) I want our transaction to be
TOTALLY, TOTALLY private! My roommate might tell Burt,
or Paul, and things would get VERY complicated. I am
super busy at work and I don't think it is a good idea
for him to call me there at all. Fax and e-mail are
much more private and easier for me to keep secret.

*fax number omitted*

TELL ME if you're going to fax something though, so
that I know when it's coming and no one takes it. As
you can see, I work for a large company and things get
lost, put in other mailboxes, etc. Also, I am pretty
new and people don't always remember who I am.

I am supposed to fly to Greece? I thought it was
Africa? Oh well. Greece is MUCH easier for me, since I
am in England, and I really like it there. Paul took
me once for a week, it was super romantic! Have you
ever been to Greece before? Has your son? I will buy
the plane ticket as soon as you tell me.

Love to you and your son,
Felicity

I another photo of Heather, frolicking barefoot.

Ah, lad love!

Quote:

hello,
thanks so much for your email. you sounds good. i have
never been to greece and my son never have been but he
is making arrangement to meet yoiu in greece ok.
please this early morning the securiy company has
moved the consignment to greece and it will arrive
greece today by night ok and tomorrow the diplomat who
will clear the consignment will call you ok.
my son will be meeting you with some paper work in
greece ok.
here is what you must mnention when you are been
contacted by the dipolomat the consignment security
code( CDW211GR)
please i count on your intelligence and honesty for
the smoothness of this business, please i am assuring
you, you can never regrat your relationship with my
family. my son goes crazy about you even without
seeing you in person.

you look so good in picture. sorry how old are you.
please recommend the kind of business we shall invest
the funds in uk.

go and get yourself a flight ticket to greece tomorrow
urgently because i will want you to be in greece by
tomorrow afternoon ok.we love you ok
reply
mariam

I decide that while he's smitten, I should demand my trophy...

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 7:43 am

Attention, last link wants to install a dialer (or at least some CAB file).

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 7:44 am

Quote:

MIRIAM!!

Ok, I am sorry to ask again, but I NEED a photo like
we discussed before.

Also, my roommate saw this e-mail and now she's
threatening to go to Paul and the police if I don't
have proof of who I am meeting.

I am ready to buy the tickets, I just need the photo
so my roommate will not tell anyone. She says that she
has to know who I am meeting. PAUL CAN'T KNOW!! THE
POLICE CAN'T KNOW!! Miriam, I'm so scared and I'm
sitting here crying again.

PLEASE send me a photo of you and your son, with my
last name, like we talked about before. Otherwise, we
are both in HORRIBLE TROUBLE!!!

You don't know what Paul is like when he gets angry.
This is how I ended up with my no-good roommate,
because he got so mad at me, I had to move out.
Here are some more photos of him--he's so hot and I
still love him despite everything, but I think you can
see what kind of guy he can be...

When is this diplomat going to contact me? How is he
going to call me? I didn't give you a phone, only fax?

And I can't be in Greece by tomarrow, I work all week
and need to arrange for time off or I'll be fired.

I'm really excited to meet your son, though. I bet
he's nicer than these people here, who threaten to
hurt me.

Oh and as for how old I am, I am 26. Smile

As for investing, I will put you in contact with my
boss, because he is VERY good at these things. You
might even be able to buy some shares in our company,
which you can see is very successful.

Hugs and kisses and love to you both,
Felicity

I attach the scariest photos of 80's Bono I can find. Alas, it is difficult. I should have picked the POP era.
http://www.u2takemehigher.com/Bono/jhum/bonocop.jpg
http://www.u2takemehigher.com/Bono/jhum/bonojacket.jpg

And Miriam turns UGLY.

Quote:

hello,
listen my dear, i just came to write to tell you that
the consignment have arriverd greece before i saw your
email. who ever that your room mate is tell him or her
to go to hell, you dont push me around like a small
girl ok, like i told you if you are out for business
follow my directives. i cant to look for a
photographer to take me or my son such a picture you
insult me the second time.
please let me be plain to you if you cant do this
business just tell me now let me get another foreign
partner who will help me do it. i dont have any camera
to take such picture if you have camera you can send
to me then i ask my son to take me such picture if you
dont have camera and you can send us money to buy one
so we can take such picture.
you must give me a telephone number to contact you by
the diplomat because the security company demanded for
it from me this evening so the diplomat will contact
you.
mariam

Oh, for a tougher character! Darn you Felicity! She does her best at a slap.

Quote:

WELL!!

You can't push me around like a small girl either!!

I have a job and maybe you should GIVE ME A FEW DAYS
NOTICE about going to Greece!! I want to help you,
but you can't expect me to DROP EVERYTHING!

We are dealing with alot of money and alot of risk for
me, just as much as for you, if not more. I would
think you would be more COOPERATIVE AND UNDERSTANDING
and not always being so nasty. You won't find ANYONE
else to help you, Miriam, when you behave this way.

Obviously, you and your son DON'T care about me at all
and you immediately get NASTY, which makes me think
you are UP TO NO GOOD. An honest person would be
willing to do ANYTHING neccessary to make their CLIENT
FEEL AT EASE!! I know, because that is what I do
everyday, as you saw on the website. I deal with
financial deals EVERY DAY and I can tell you, I would
be FIRED if I said such things to a client!

You have e-mail, you must have cameras, someone around
you must have one. I think you are LYING to me since
you get so ANGRY so quickly. This is the second time
you turned nasty about this, WHY??

I was going to go out tonight and buy my ticket to
Greece, I was going to write and tell you I could come
on FRIDAY, and also what presents you would like from
England, but I guess not, Miriam. I guess your just
not the nice, trustworthy person you say you are. And
that hurts my heart very much.

I thought better of you and your son, I sent you
pictures, I consider you a friend and you treat me
like crap. I try to look out for myself and I trust
you as a BUSINESSWOMAN and this is how you treat me!
You insult me and things!

Now you've made me cry again. I guess you don't care
if something happens to me. Because YOU Are SELFISH.
I am doing EVERYTHING here and you are doing NOTHING
and then you YELL at ME for it!! NICE!! I really
wanted to meet your son and go to Greece and Africa,
but not if you are going to insult me and things. That
is not PROFESSIONAL. YOU Cannot talk to ME this way.

Don't call me My Dear, only my friends can call me
that.

I have to go to a meeting now. I guess you will
probably not talk to me again, which is too bad.

The man behind Miriam remembers Felicity's lovely cleavage and is immediately contrite.

Quote:

hello,
i and my son are very good people ok, i am sorry if
you feel too bad about what i wrote to you ok really
sorry about that ok.

please let me know if you have the ticket to greece as
my son will be getting a ticket today or tomorrow if
we put the money together ok.

please confirm to me exactly when you will be in
greece.
give me your fax number once again so that the
diplomat will fax you a notice ok.
reply
mariam

And the next e-mail Felicity sent bounced back. Who knows? Perhaps they'll find me again.

Like I said, boring stuff, but not too bad for a first try maybe. I apologize about the photos, none of the photo links would work. Sad

Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 7:45 am

Boris Schneider wrote:

Attention, last link wants to install a dialer (or at least some CAB file).

Yeah, it's a shady Heather Graham fan site.

I'll take down the link. Snapfish wasn't cooperating either. Damn photos!!

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