I Don't Speak Australian

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

This one has some possibilities...

Prof.Ge0rge B0k0i of Australia (scammer)
Catherine Edd0wes of England (my alter alter ego)

Dear Prof. Bokoo Australian Sir:

Send my ATM Card right away please.

Catherine Edd0wes

Dear Catherine Edd0wes,

I have received your mail sent. kindly contact financial Bank, to receive your ATM CARD which I have already authorized the bank managments to issue you the ATM CARD, for your past reward.

At this moment, I am very busy here in Sydney Australia, with Dr.Haword Green my new partner.

As soon as the bank manahments issue your ATM CARD, don't hesitate to inform.

My regards to your family.
Prof.Ge0rge B0k0i

Dear Prof. Bokoo Australian Sir:

What is the contact info for the Bank? Also, what does "manahments" mean? Is that English or is it an Australian word?

Warmest Regards,
Catherine Edd0wes

After a non-response:

Dear Bokoo Australian Sir:

You didn't answer my question. What does "manahments" mean? Is this an English word or is it some Australian word. I only speak English. I do not speak Australian so I do not understand. Please tell me what this word means so I can adjur to your instructions.

Dear Catherine Edd0wes,

I have received your mail, and I just want to inform you that, I don't really understand what you mean, by your word (manahments)

I will also want to know if you have contact financial Bank to rteceiev your ATM card.

Kindly let me know as soon as you received your ATM card.

Regards
Prof.Ge0rge B0k0i

Dear Bokoo Australian Sir:

You used the word "manahments" in your e-mail to me. You said "As soon as the bank manahments issue your ATM CARD, don't hesitate to inform." I do not understand the word "manahments." Is that an Australian word? I don't speak Australian. I only speak English. Please translate it into English for me. I cannot contact the financial Bank until I know what you mean.

Catherine Edd0wes

Looks like I'm in for an Australian langauge lesson...

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:08 am

I assume his IP isn't actually showing him in Australia?

If so, please PM me.

If not... looking forward to his translation! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:09 am

Yeah, Strine is a hard one. Fair dinkum, onya, back'o'bourke, eski, barbie, matey, and, now... manahment.

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:12 am

If this Lad is fair dinkum in Australia, I'd like to know more about this as well - please PM me; I thought I had an Australian Lad a while back, but lost him.

If he isn't true blue, then it'd be interesting to see what he comes up with, righto cobber?

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

Hi Red,

Nope. It's showing Mauritius.

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:24 am

I'd be gobsmacked if he was true blue. London to a brick hes some shonky whakka, bloody drongo wog, not the full quid (he don't know Christmas from Bourke Street).

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:29 am

Bugger - we could have had a Ripper* of a time with this drongo and got him flat out like a lizard drinking. I mean, what the bloody hell did he think this is - Bush Week?

*(Sorry bunny)

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:36 am

Yeemate, throw a shrimp on the barbie and lets see what these guy has to offer. Very Happy

Maybe it is similar to the other "lads" we have here in Australia or at least Sydney.

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:45 am

Has anyone ever had an ip resolve to OZ? I'm sure we are all itching to nail a local scammer.

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:55 am

Well, for what it's worth, I am not local. I am merely a figjam seppo gone troppo, in an undisclosed third country, with a deep respect and affection for Australia and Australians.

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:59 am

@ Harry - I did once but it turned out to be a proxy.

I personally think the less lads in Oz the better.

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

yastreb,

Maybe it's Fred Deeming?

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 7:20 am

Quote:

I personally think the less lads in Oz the better.

thats my thoughts exactly.

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 8:13 am

Me too. Actually a friend got bashed by a group of them the other afternoon. Nothing major, only his shoes Sad

Oh wait..those lads. I was referring to:

Quote:

Lad, an Australian youth subculture, very similar to chav

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:38 am

Ask him how many kangaroos has he got loose in the top paddock Laughing

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 10:15 am

Your scammer may ave been in Straylya but he musta been shit scared so he has grabbed the missus n tin lids n done the harry.

Before he left he put on his best clobber (stubbies and thongs) and ad a shin dig and barbied a few snags and ad some dogs eye's with dead orse with his mates and a couple of birds, they drank a shit load a pigs ears and a bottle of bundy and ended up pissed as farts, got up in the morning and had a big ralph in the porcelain bus and waddya know, carrots.

Translation

Your scammer may have been in Australia but he was rather scared so he grabbed the wife and kids and left.

Prior to leaving he put on his best clothes (cheap brand of shorts and rubber sandle like footwear) and had a party, he barbecued some suasages and had some meat pies with sauce (Ketchup for the Americans) with his male friends and their lady friends. they consumed many alocholic drinks including beer and Queensland made rum and ended up quite inebriated, when they woke up they were sick and vomited in the toilet and what do you know, carrots

You could try a few of these on him if you wish but your lad wont understand the joke and you dont really want to teach him anyway

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

His reply:

Dear Catherine Eddowes,

I have received yourv mail sent. I think the word manahments is a mistake from my side, because I what I mean from my word is managements not manahments.

I hope you will forgive me for that.

Regards
Prof.George Bokoi

Should I forgive him for that????

Dear Prof. Bokoo Australian Sir:

I have another question. In an e-mail you wrote: "I will also want to know if you have contact financial Bank to rteceiev your ATM card." The word "rteceiev" looks like it might be Russian, or is it Australian? Or is this another one of your mistakes? Please help me to understand so that I can adjur to your instructions because I only speak English. I do not speak Australian.

Regards,

Catherine Eddowes

Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:59 pm

Okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but as funny as this is...

... I'm afraid all you're doing is educating the lad to check his spelling. Blatant, stupid spelling mistakes like that just might twig a real victim if they are that frequent. The last thing we want to do is make the lads better at looking legitimate.

Cool

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

Hi bearkat,

No offense taken. I thought about that as well but I decided that it really wasn't. These are obviously typographical errors that happen to everyone, even me. While he might check his posts a little more carefully for a day or two, I'm sure he will fall back into his old sloppy ways. I wouldn't correct poor English. I carefully preserve and repeat each use of "informations" or "moneys" and sprinkle in the occasional "ok" and "now listen and listen good." I think I am doing plenty to ensure that these scammers' emails look highly suspicious to potential victims.

I guess I am simply going to have to disagree with you one this one. Smile

Almost everything we do COULD be taken as educating the lad.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 1:28 am

I agree with Bunny Rabbit on this issue. Any baiter is entitled to query a spelling mistake or a typo. It's pushing the envelope to the brink of absurdity when baiters are accused of educating the lads when they query a typo. After all, the lad did know how to spell the word when queried.
If we had more baiters baiting and less baiters telling them how to bait, we may finish up more effective overall. Also, we Australians do have some colorful prose and slang indigenous to Australia.

lost in translation Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 531

It is not my intent to start an argument here and I repeat that I am not offended by bearkat's comment but maybe it would clarify things if I explained that my point was not just to engage in absurdity or silliness. My point was to get the scammer to think I am so stupid that I do not realize English is the language of Australia, ie. that I think there is such a language as "Australian" That way I set my character up to be trusted as a potentially gullible victim Smile

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 2:59 am

I don't think this lad is getting educated very much. Even if he corrected manahments to be managements, he still looks like a stupid lad, because it's still incredibly bad English to say, "As soon as the bank managements issue your ATM CARD, don't hesitate to inform."

Management is a collective noun, inform is almost always a transitive verb, and card is a common noun (not proper), so he should have said "As soon as the bank management issues your ATM card, don't hesitate to inform me." Even without being picky like that, I just don't think that "As soon as the bank managements issue your ATM CARD, don't hesitate to inform" would sound right to any native speaker of English. Of course, to all of us that read lads every day, it might sound almost normal. Myself, sometimes I think a lad is almost humanoid, but then I realize I've been reading their crap too much.

And now for something REALLY SERIOUS! Many years ago I heard an expression, allegedly from Australia, that nobody I've ever met has been able to explain (or translate). Clearly the group here has superior linguistic resources, though, so will one of you fine students of OZ-speak please tell me what this means:

Quote:

"Don't come the cold prawn with ME, buckoo!"

I think it means something like, "Don't trifle with me" or "Don't put me on," but I'd love to be sure.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 4:33 am

@ MikeHawk

I cannot explain the origin of "don't come the cold prawn", but the meaning is precisely as you had imagined. It proliferated around the time Paul Hogan was in his heyday (Crocodile Dundee) and may have been a spin off from his early TV show. Paul did a lot to the English language in the name of Australian folklore.
Similarly, "buckoo" is a perversion of "buckaroo", as was "bucko". You get 100% all round for comprehension of our idiomatic slang. I wouldn't claim that such usage is in any way superior in a linguistic sense. More correctly, some knowledge of these idioms does more to confirm the age of the writer, as under 40's would probably give you a puzzled look if you posed the question to them.

As regards my earlier post, I certainly was not looking for a fight, just adding my two bits worth to an observation that I perceived there was a general increase in "warning type" posts. My preference on that is to PM a "Noob" if I consider he may be transgressing, rather than bother all the other readers with reminders to read the stickies, etc. I personally would prefer to receive a PM from a more senior baiter who considered I was deviating from good practice, rather than having my shortcomings posted for all to see.
I have actually acquired a couple of unofficial "mentees" using this approach. They have progressed to be good baiters.
I apologise if I have offended anyone, that was not the intention.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 6:55 am

Quote:

"Don't come the cold prawn with ME, buckoo!"

It's always been "Don't come the raw prawn!" - never "cold prawn", in my experience. I don't know about "buckoo" as an Australianism either.

Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 8:45 am

@ yastreb

You are correct, it is "raw". When I replied, I firmly believed that "cold" was correct. What I said about age of the reader becomes more pertinent.
Thanks for correcting that lapse of memory.