What can I call this thread.....?

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Chuck Norris Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1369

Quote:

I think the operative words here are 'enough evidence', 'maybe' and 'possibly'. If the witnesses wont co-operate, then there is no case. The barristers can argue till they're blue in the face but it would never be a very strong case and you can weaken it further by not helping.

Unfortunately his link puts that all pretty much to rest.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Akai Ryu wrote:

They have them.

According to the paper. The number of fully accurate newspaper reports I've read can be counted on the fingers of one finger. (sic) Newspaper reports are always distorted and usually plain wrong. If the mother is paying for the lawyer then I don't see that the situation is hopeless. Relationships just don't break down that far on one side only, barring mental health issues which would be a defence. You're in our prayers Marvinator. Get that expensive lawyer in and let him get to the bottom of it.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 18 Jul 2004 Posts: 2049

You are correct that the story could easily make it on Springer � very twisted. If my memory is correct your daughter isn�t even old enough to have a drink legally in the United States but can have a child with �man� who can hire an assassin. Your world is definitely upside down!

There is an old adage � �When you love someone, you arm them against you�. That is the predicament you are in now. I would be willing to bet that your daughter has been led into this because of her �love� for her scumbag boyfriend. But she still is culpable and has to pay a price for her stupidity. Don�t let your love for her beat you up more than it already has � you can only do so much � it is time to let her grow up.

I must however, disagree with your characterization the baby � �her 1 yr old baby girl�. That may be so but I would suggest that you start thinking along the lines of �my first GRANDCHILD�. You and your ex-wife must do everything in your collective power to ensure that that child is in a loving, caring and most importantly, safe environment provided by the family. That is your responsibility without question. The innocent child has a loser for a �father�. You need to step up to the plate and be the best grandFATHER that you can possibly be.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

@ Marv, TheMan had excellent advise for you. If your ex will help you with $$$, all the better. There is nothing so bad as the risk your grandchild faces right now.

It is NOT difficult to have the rights of the parents terminated. If you can get them to sign over rights for the good of their child, that would be great, too.

Fear can grip your heart when there are so many unknowns. I know from experience, however, that when you rescue your own grandchild your life will be richly blessed.

All the best to you.

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 7:24 pm

I don't know shit about any of this, so I will only offer my support. My thoughts are with you, Marv. The best to you, your daughter, your grandchild...... I hope there is a good ending to this story.

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 7:40 pm

@Marv, Hang in there. I thought when one of my sons went to prison for identity theft, it was bad, but I really feel for you on this one. Like mentioned earlier, you have to realize that you did nothing wrong here. Teens do stupid shit, and they got caught. Let it sort itself out, and don't feel bad about not being able to bail her out. Hopefully it will come out OK, and a huge lesson learned.

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 9:33 pm

Gold Hat wrote:

I must however, disagree with your characterization the baby � �her 1 yr old baby girl�. That may be so but I would suggest that you start thinking along the lines of �my first GRANDCHILD�.

Yes, I know shes my Grandchild. NO problem there. But I referred to her that way out of habit. She's actually our 8th Grandchild, and using the term "her 1 yr old" is my way of identifying her within the dynamic.

To get you all up to date, my Ex is funding me to hire a lawyer to petition for custody of the little one. Our hearing is Monday. My wife is scared to tears. We both planned on alone time these days with all our kids out of the house, and now we're going back to square one. We will make it. Financially may be a problem, but we will make it.

THanks everyone for your support.

Chuck Norris Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1369

Quote:

We both planned on alone time these days with all our kids out of the house, and now we're going back to square one.

The baby is lucky, though, that she has selfless family who is willing to take care of her, and that she will not have to go through the foster care system.

Good luck at the lawyer, with the petition and hearings and everything else.

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 11:23 pm

Marv:

Regarding the grandchild you are doing the right thing. She is the only one in this situation that cannot take care of him/herself. I hope you and your current wife are not the "final answer" as parents for that child. Not because I think you cannot do it, but because I hope your daughter gets her head on straight and can get to the point that she can take custody back of her own daughter with your blessing.

As for your daughter, after reading that news article (note I know they are never accurate) she needs a lawyer sooner rather than later. Remind her to ask for one the first moment she is before a Judge. Remember she has the right to remain silent and she should use it! The phone calls you have with her are recorded. Try to keep her spirits as up as you can, assure her the baby is safe and you are taking care of that end of life right now. That is probably the best thing you can do for her so she can focus on dealing with the criminal charges.

Give her a hug if/when you can, she needs to know through all this there is still hope, that when it is all over she will have a support system to help her get her life back on track, whatever the outcome of this case.

The Man

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:41 am

FWIW, I agree with tending to the grandchild. It is hard to become a parent again after you thought the kids all left the nest. You have support here!

Sadly the situation your daughter got caught up in happens other places. Some times the situation ends up much worse for all involved. Sad

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 6:32 am

@Marv,

I have no wisdom to share and no advice to give, but I am thinking of you, I think someone else said it could be worse, nobody is hurt, that may or may not make you feel any better about this, I hope it does as that is probably the way I personally face tough times, but either way you have friends here and if it helps to share it with us then go right ahead.

This is a close knit group here an allthough the two of us have not had any deallings with each other it feels like it has happened to my best mate.

All the best with it all.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 6:13 pm

Marv, I can only imagine the incredible pain you must be going through Sad

A big big hug to you.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

So sorry to hear of this situation Marv. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the best.
Keep on posting if it's helping. We're here for you.

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 6:14 pm

lotta wrote:

Marv, I can only imagine the incredible pain you must be going through Sad

A big big hug to you.

A lot of people say that they can imagine the situation, but they never can. (not meant to kick anyone).

I can only say that my thoughts and best wishes are with you right now. You are doing the right thing for your grand child, that has to be a comfort to you because she has no one else that can be relied upon. As for beating yourself up over your daughter's plight, that is not your fault. You sound like a decent bloke. As a father, you did the best that you can and that is more than can be said for others.

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 6:46 pm

I cannot feel the pain the person is going through, but as a parent, I can certainly imagine what it must be like. Wink

My thoughts and good wishes are with you Marv.

Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:31 pm

Akai Ryu wrote:

Unfortunately his link puts that all pretty much to rest.

Yup. I think I also said, 'If I didnt think that the punishment was fair'....

I am so sorry Marv. Some children dont deserve their parents.

Your concern now should be your granddaughter. She's going to need a stable home to call her own. Our thoughts are with you.

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:16 pm

It's post T-Day and I'm doing much better. I wanted to come in here and thank you all for the nice words, thoughts of comfort and legal strategies.

Let me bring you up to speed. The EX did her usual messing with things and the grandchild has been assigned to one of the boyfriend's aunts. The Ex has also bonded the daughter out and no one is returning my calls. I'm being treated as though I am the one who did something wrong here.

Thankfully none of the news reporters sniffed anywhere near our house. Apparently this was all the Drama Queen's (my EX) show My wife and I are making plans for Christmas out of the area with HER kids and grandkids but did want to stop by and thank you all. Having folks who you can turn to at times like that who will just say 'Oh man, what a problem!' is enough to help.

Great community here. THanks again. Hmmmm I wonder if any of the Lads might be of help to me here....nah....LOL

Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:48 pm

Marv:

Glad to hear from you. Sorry that you are being treated that way. The one thing I would want you to answer in your own mind (don't have to share with the class!) is if the Aunt is going to be good for the grandkid. If the answer to that is yes, then the biggest issue is in good hands.

Good luck, and try to enjoy your vacation, you certainly have earned it!

Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 2:20 am

A really good psychiatrist/doctor could possibly prove that your daughter is still suffering from Antenatal depression to the extent that her whole personality psyche and outlook has drastically deteriorated and become manipulated/mutilated by unseen imaginings and fears. Talk to your own GP (doctor) who may be able to point you in the direction of a reasonable and
justified defence.

Respect and compassion to you.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

I send my best wishes your way Marv.

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