The tale of the "Volltrottels"

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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 8:45 pm

My first real bait, still going. I will ad a bit when I have the time.

"Volltrottel" is german and means "complete idiot.

It all started with the same answer to many mails "I'm doing only business wth people I have seen face to face blah blah". Sometimes it takes a week or so, for them to reply, he asked 3 times and then...

Quote:

> �This si to inform you that I am back and ready to proceed as you ahve requested. However,I still need a final word from you as to my going ahead with the sending of the photo with the inscription as you ahve directed. Let me know by a return mail and I will proceed accordingly.
�Belo

My reply was very short, as I did not expect anything anymore:

Quote:

Dear Belo,

then go ahead and take the picture, I am waiting!

His next mail:

Quote:

Dear Bjorn,
Ther attached pic of mione taken in a relaxed atmosphere speaks for itselkf.
I have done as you ahve requested to show you my seriousness and good intentins.I hope we can now commence the transfer process.
Can we talk?
Confirm receipt.
Belo

Bingo! My first real trophy and a really dumb looking Mugu!

2 days later:

Quote:

Dear Bjorn,
I have sent to you the picture you asked me to send to you and I am surprised that you ahve not even acknowledged receipt.why?
Belo

My answer:

Quote:

Hi Belo,

I was hunting for the weekend and forgot the batteries for my PDA so I could
not get my email and reply earlier.

Thank you for the picture you sent me, now I know with whom I am dealing an we
can proceed immediately.

My adress is:
Bjorn XXXXXXX
[Street adress of the swedish gouvernment]
Helsinki, Sweden

Fax and Phone: +1-K7-number

Please tell me the next step.

In every mail in my signature, is "Helsinki, Sweden", I think geography is not teached in Nigeria.

Quote:

Hello Bjorn,
Welcome back from your hunting.What were able to kill?
I will provide to you with the details of the project steps tomorrow being Tuesday and I will like to also speak to you same tomorrow.
Confirm.I am ready to move on with the project as every machinery is in place that will ensure a smooth process and transfer.
Belo

Now for the modalities:

Quote:

Dear Bjorn,

Presently the $29.5Million(Deposit Amount plus Interest)is lying in a dormant account of Late Kommera Saangeta,54 an Indian National who died in Singaporean Plane crash on November 2000 and ever since then nobody has shown up as next of kin to claim the money.

1.To properly effect the documentations that will assist the ownership of the funds to be converted to you and remitted into your nominated account, you would be required to appoint a lawyer/Attorney who according to our rules and regulation must be a Nigerian.

2.We have carefully and deliberatly selected a lawyer who you will appoint for such purpose to act for you and on your behalf.This Attorney/lawyer is not personally known to any of us but we know that he is versed and knowledgable in such matters as wills and letters of administration.He should not know that you have a partner here.j

3.You will find his contact below and also a sample letter which you are expected to send to him via email.He will respond to you with certain questions and you will let me know to answer them for you to send back to him.

4.The letter is thus: Barrister Festus Edu(San)
Managing Partner
Bentley, Edu Associates
Barristers & Attorneys at Law
Onikan-Lagos

Dear Mr. Edu:

I have been intrroduced to you by one of the officials of your embassy here in my country.,
I wish to appoint you to represent me concerning the estate of one Mr.Kommera Sangeeta,who passed away on as a result of a plane crash last four years. As
far as I have been able to determine I am his next of kin as a relative.
I understand that he left a rather sizable amount of money in his account totaling about $29.5m with the Continental Trust Bank. Mr. Kommera Sangeeta was a mining consultant with a multi national firm in Nigeria.

The bank authorities have requested that I provide them with all the necessary legal papers to enable me to claim the money in Mr.Kommera Sangeeta's account as his authorized next of kin. I am requesting that you process and submit to the bank all the legal papers on my behalf.

If you require additional information from me please contact me via my email ................

Also,my telephone number is ??????while my fax number is ???????..

Please don't hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely,

Mr...................

His contact details are:
NAME:BARRISTER FESTUS EDU ESQ.(SAN)
EMAIL:[email protected]

5.Upon the release of the legal documents conferring the legal and legitimate rights of the funds to you as the next-of-kin,you will then inform me and I will send to you a sample LETTER OF CLAIM to which you will prepare on your company letter head paper and send to the Attorney to enable him proceed to the bank and make applications for remittance to your account.

6.Upon the presentation of Letter of claim otherwise known as application for payment together with the other legal documents by your Attorney,we shall then use our links and connection in the bank to quietly process the funds into your account.

7.You will be wondering why I am trusting a stranger.But I want to assure you that the essence of trust,honesty and truth is very important in this project.I do not believe that you would receive the funds and disappear into thin air.

8.As soon as you are satisfied with the above,you and I will then open verbal telephone conversations to get to know each other more and better.

I look forward to a rewarding business relationship with you.

I also look forward to talking with you.I will call you later today.Confirm.

Belo

Ok, so I contact the lawyer with the text above, no need to paste it again here and inform Ige, taht I contacted the lawyer.

6 hours later a voice message arrives (must find find some place to host it, but you can't hardly understand anything)

The lawyer replies:

Quote:

Dear Client,
�� I am in receipt of your mail where you are seeking my services as your Attorney for the processing and eventual release of all legal documentations relevant to your receipt of the inheritance sum.
�� I wish to inform you that this kind of assignments is no longer new to me as I have been engaged by foreigners like you in the past 10 years. Therefore,I am happy to inform you that my chambers will be willing to work for you.
� However,to enable us work for you,you need to send to me the following:
1.POWER OF ATTORNEY(If you do not have this,I can e-mail a sample copy to you).This must be on your company letter head papers.I will send a sample in my next mail to you.
2.Copy of the certificate of deposit.
3.Certificate of death.
�Note that the above items can be faxed to me or sent via email which is even more preferable because it is usually clean copies as we can use fax copies� or printed copies to execu te such assignments.
�� Upon the receipt of the above documents and information,I will give you further instructions about the details of the fees and how to pay it.My fax number 234-92-720318.
Finally,be informed that we usually ask for fees upfront in the execution of the assignment as it relates to probate registry and wills.This is the law here and in my next mail,I shall give you details of my fees and how you can send them to me.
�� Thank you for appointing my chambers as we hope to serve and protect your interest well in this matters.
�
Yours faithfully,

Barr.Festus Edu� esq.(S.A.N)

But first.... I have to know with whom I am doing business:

Quote:

Dear Barrister Edu,

thank you for helping me in this matter. Please send me the Power of attorney, I will print it on my company paper.

Before we can go any further, I have to ask you for a picture of you, because its common tradition in Sweden to do only business with people you have seen face to face. Please have a picture of you taken, holdng a sign that clearly says "VOLLTROTTEL", which is the password. So I can be sure its you on the picture.

As soon I receive this pricture, I will send you the documents (Certificate of
death, certificate of deposit).

Jst informing Ige, what we need:

Quote:

Dear Ige,

The barrister contacted me and wants a Certificate of death and a certificate of deposit, please send me these documents.

I do not know, why Ige delays sending me the documents instead of just sending me the crap.

Quote:

Dear Bjorn,
Read your mail.The Certificate of deposit from the bank can be easy to get and I will begin the process of release today.But the certificate of death, will be processed from the federal ministry of health and it is for a fee which my personal assistant will find out and let me know.I will send a mail to you later today with the findings.
Do let the lawyer know that you will send him the documents and he should please give you some time to enable me process and get them released.
Belo

Meanwhile, the lawyer replies:

Quote:

Dera Client,

I am surprised to read in your last mail that I need to send my picture to you with a password.I do not have a problem with that but you will understand that you were the one that sought for my services and not vice versa.I also agree with you that you must know in person and in physical term whom you are dealing with.

Therefore,I will �take time out of my very busy schedule to go to a studio to take the picture and send to you.How do you want it,fax or scanned?

Meanwhile you find below the sample copy of the power of attorney which i expect you to prepare and send back to me with the other two certificates.The sample is thus below: (blah blah blah)

Belo again delays sending me his fake documents:

Quote:

Dear Bjorn,
You seem to be a very busy person as you ahve not been responding to my email recently as fast as I would want to.It is more annoying that I cannot get to speak to you even.I have called that number and it is always on either answering machine or wants to receive fax.This is not fair that I cannot get to speak to you.
I have done all you wnat me to do.I have sent to you my picture and would have expected that we would have gotten closer to each other now.
However,I wish to inform you right awayt that the certificate of deposit will be released to me today and I would want to send it immediately to you but i want to hear from you first as it is a confidential document that must not be toyed with.
Waiting.
Belo

My reply to teh lawyer:

Quote:

Dear Festus, my friend,

please find enclosed the Power of Attorney, as you requested.
(Just printed his text in a very fany font, scanned it in, and sent him a 1.9 MB picture Wink

)

Please be not by disturbed by my request for apicture, it is common tradition in Sweden to exchange pictures before doing business together. I would prefer a scan by email, if it is no problem for you.

Surprise, surprise, his mailbox is full Rolling Eyes

, but on the second attempt and a light slapping it worked.

Quote:

Dear Ige,

I am very sorry, that I could not reply earlier, but my computer broke down
and I had to have it repaired.

I just sent the Power of Attorney to my lawyer, please send me the douments the lawyer needs so I can forward them to him.

Again, Ige delays the documents. Why? Does he have to pay for them?

Quote:

Dear Bjorn,
Ok,the documents are all not ready.Only the certificate of deposit which I will send tomorrow morning.The other one whcih is death certificate is being processed as I was able to garner the fees just this morning to pay to our government.That should be out before Friday this week and will send same to you.
Belo

The lawyer:

Quote:

Dear Client,

Thank you for your mail.My mail box has been free of some un needed mails and can now receive the power of attorney.

As soon as I get back from the court today say in the evening,I shall go to the studio to take a pic and send same off to you tomorrow being wednesday.

Awaiting to receive the other documents from you to enable us to let you know what our fees are and how you will send them to my chambers.

Dr.Edu

Aaah, the fees...

Quote:

Dera Bjorn,
Please find attached the certificate of deposit.As for the certificate of death,hopefully as I had met all the agency's requiremnts,it should be out say this evening or tomorrow morning and will not hesitate to send same to you.
Hope you are fine while I look forward to the successful conclusion of this project.
Keep me updated pleae as regards your correspondences with the lawyer.
Belo

The document is just great, especially the frame!

Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 9:05 pm

So, the certificate of deposit has been sent to the lawyer...

Quote:

Dera Client,

Sorry,the power of attorney came blank.Nothing was on it.Can you send it the same way you sent the certificate of deposit as that one came clear and good copy.When are you sending the death certificate?

I will send my pic later this evening.If you find it difficult to scan,you can fax it to my number as my work for you will be useless and of no effect if I do not have the power of attorney from you.

Hope you understand.

Dr.Edu

I have no idea, why the power of attorney came blank (I should have mailed 2 MB of random data, ok, next time)

Later that day:

Quote:

Dera Client,

As you have wanted,please find attached a copy of my pic taken with my professional attire.

I have done my bit,I now wait for you to send to me the remainder documents namely the certificate of death and the power of attorney.

I should strongly advise that you make haste as I am due to travel abroad on a legal briefing on behalf of my country at the Internatoional Court of Justice in Hague and I would want to commence and conclude the process of releasing your inheritance funds before travelling abroad.

The ball is squarely in your court.

Dr.Edu

Thats nearly too much:

The professional attire (which he will wear in Hague, I am sure!) and the pun with the court (lawyer - court, Very Happy

)

Next day, I receive the certificate of death:

Quote:

Dear Partner,
You will find attached the certificate of death of the late ,Mr.Kommera Sangeeta as released to em thsi morning after so much pressure on the governmet officials who were becoming to arrogant and stubborn.
Please forward same to your lawyer and ask him to begin work.
However,I am reliably informed that lawyers here usually ask for and would want to receive their fees and charges especially for this kind of assignment that has to do with WIILS AND INTERSTATE.Well,I hope Dr.Edu will be different,if not,we would ahve to sort him out as that may be the only way out for us to succeed.
I want to inform you that as soon as your lawyer begins the processing,you will have to send to me a letter of invitation to enable me to obtain a Swedish visa so that I can be with you as the funds are being credited into your account.
Please confirm receipt of the death certificate.
Looking forward to seeing you soon in Helsinki.
Belo

Nice document, a restricted copy with authorized signatory and all that...

Forwarded to the lawyer.

Quote:

Dear� Client,

This is a confirmation of the receipt of all the three requested documents.

I shall inform you of the details of my fees and how you will send them to me tomorrow.

Dr.Edu

Again, a one day delay, why?

Quote:

Dear Client,

The attached bill on my official chamber's letter head speaks for itself.

I await your action to trigger my reaction to move the processing to the succesful conclusion by you receiving the remittance.

Dr.Edu

Ouch, thats an expensive lawyer...

[More to follow!]

Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 9:47 pm

I just love thelad with the wig. Very Happy

I showed it to several colleagues and we "threw us away laughing".

Well baited, I think your Volltrottels should meet my Leck Mich am Arsch.

Posted: Sun Jun 13, 2004 9:25 pm

The saga continues....

Epsiode Three: The Evil Empire has, nah, thats another story. The following is a story of delays, delays and more delays.

Let's inform Ige about the invoice. Note the amount, perhaps I will confuse "," and "." later (not decided yet):

Quote:

Dear Ige,

today, the lawyer sent me an invoice about $19,50. I think thats not too
expensive and will send him the money on monday. I first have to figure out how to make a "swift" transfer as I never did this before.

Regarding the letter of invitation, due to new anti-terrorist laws I need a
copy of your passport and you full adress details. I will then apply for a
confirmed letter of invitation, with which you can get a visa at once at
every swedish embassy or consulate.

Getting to Sweden will become very complicated...

Quote:

Dear Bjorn,
Thank you for the update.

As for the copy of my passport and full address,you will have them this new week.

Regarding what swift transfer is,it is just a banking word for fast transfer and is used by all banks in the world in relation to bank to bank wire transfers.It is not a problem for you to find out.All it takes is for you to go to your bank with the lawyer's account details written out separately on a blank sheet of paper and ask for a form from the international payment section of your bank for you to fill up and ask them that you want the funds transfered by swift.This usually take 2-4 days maximum and the recepient's bank will confirm receipt of the funds in their bank.

Please write to the lawyer and inform him of your intention to wire the funds to him on Monday and also,ask him that upon the receipt of the fees into his account,how long will it take him to do all the processing and ensure that you receive the $29.5m into your account.

I look forward to meeting with you soon in Helsinki.Or where else do you want us to meet?

As we are nearing completion stage,can I speak to you over the phone?If I cannot get you which I am sure,do call me up anytime on 2348055517795.Also looking forward to speaking to you.
Belo

The lawyer again:

Quote:

Dear Client,

I hope you have received my attached letter yesterday.Please confirm.

However,I had to go to the bank yesterday after I had sent you the letetr to confirm the position of the funds and it pleases me to inform you that the funds of $29.5m had already generated interest over the years totalling $2.77m and so,the total amount that would be wired into your account after all the necessary procedures had been completed would come up to $32.27m

Therefore,you are advised to execute your own part of the assignment as expressly stated on my attrached letetr to enbale me begin the porocess and ensure that your inheritance fudns of $32.27 is released accordingly.

Once more,thnak you for appointing my chambers as we look forward to hearing from you.

Dr.Edu

Wow, now its $32,27m with the interest, that lawyer pasy for himself!

To Festus:

Quote:

Dear Festus,

yes, I received you invoice and will send you the money on money. I have to talk to represenatative of my bank directly, as I have never done a swift
transfer before.

Money on money? Man, was I tired..., never mind, a good lad knows what you mean.

To Ige:

Quote:

Dear Ige,

the lawer contacted me with good news: instead of $ 29.5m we will receive $ 32.27m as there is interest being payed.

Regarding calling me, I don't think this is a good idea at the current stage, as I work for the King of Sweden and our lines are monitored from time to time because of recent terrorist activities. If you have to say something to me, please call +1-206-666-2579, its a US based forwarding service.

Please finde enclosed the form K-17, fill it in and send it back to me with a
copy of your passport, so I can apply for a letter of invitation.

Too bad, no form attached...

Quote:

Dear Bjorn,
I am so deligthed with the news from your lawyer about the increase of the funds to be transfered to your account.This means that the lawyer is really acting and working well and so,we must do everything to satisfy him so that he will have no reason to regret working for you.

I agree that we should not talk now due to the reason given by you and therefore,my suggestion is that,when you are also talking with the people in the bank that will make the transfer for you,please do not mention anything to them about this transaction or the reason for the payment. After all ,the money belongs to you and you are free to send it to any body.You know we have to keep it confidential so that we are not exposed by any body at this stage.At the bank, just tell them to transfer the money by swift and give them the account only.Nothing else.Do not give themor show them the full invoice of the lawyer to you.

How much did you say the lawyer asked you to pay him?

Since we cannot talk over the phone,let us communicate by email all the time.

I have not received the form you said you attached here.Please send it again.

Belo

Getting anxious of only getting 20 bucks, eh? Wink

Sent him the form:

He hopefully signs, that he is a scammer and dumb enough to fall for this sh*t.

The Lawyer:

Quote:

Dear Client,

Following your mail to me yesterday stating that you had never done a swift bank to bank transfer before,I wish to inform you that� in swift transfers all the things stated by the beneficiary bank account must be included None shoudl be removed.Like in my case,I wish to state the bank account again for you oce more.Do not remove or add anything� to it.Just show it to your bank representative and just ask him to send the US$19,500.00 by swift Transfer to my acocunt below.The account is thus:

�BANK:�� BNP PARIBAS,NEW YORK
CHIPS UID:�� 64920
FAVOURING:�� BNP PARIBAS,SINGAPORE
ACCOUNT NAME:�� SHANKER'S EMPORIUM (PTE)TLD
ACCOUNT NUMBER:�� 50-000160-001-91
SENDER:�� MR.BJORN SMOREBROED
PURPOSE OF PAYMENT:�� CONSULTANCY FEES
REFERENCE CODE:�� P00210 (POLY)

Ensure that all including the reference code are stated for prompt delivery and for me to act faster for you.

Also,after your banker told you that he has sent the money,then you should ask him to givre you the evidence from your bank that it has been made and you send it to me by scan for my confirmation.It is called a computer print out of the transfer or bvank debit advise that the fudns have left your account.

I await your email tomorrow being Monday and evidence of the remittance.Ha!

I would like to hesar from you today if you read this� email if you understand this instructions or if you havee further questions,do not fail to get back to me.

Dr.Edu
above.dwban

I'm glad he explains everything to me and send me the account details again. (A friend of mine at a bank is already working on the account getting shut down). What is above.dwban?

Only one day later:

Quote:

Hi Bjorn,
What is going on?I need updates please.
Belo

No reply!

Next day:

Quote:

Hi Bjorn,
I would be glad if you can tell me the position of things,no matter what it is.
It is not fair that you have not gotten back to me since my last mail of yesterday and even last Saturday.
I hope you are alright.
Awaiting your mail.
Belo

Now things get out of (their) control:

To Ige, same Mail to Festus:

Quote:

Ige,

it's more complicated then I thought to send money from Sweden to the lawyer, because of the new anti-terror laws. Everything is triple checked, and the lawyers surname "Edu" appears on a terrorist watch list, with first name "Frank", so they have to make sure its not the same person.

I keep you updated.

Whats about the strike in your country I read about in the newspaper?�

Ige:

Quote:

Bjorn,
Many thanks for your response as I was wondering why your silence.

It is shocking to me to read that Dr.Festus Edu's name is on the Terrorist watch list.This is not possible becasue Dr.Edu is one of the very well known and reknowned lawyers here who has travelled world wide.I think Edu is just a co-incidence and cannot never be Dr Edu although his name is not FRANK but FESTUS.

I agree with you that sending out funds this days of terrorism threat is difficult and that is why in our own case we had to use a lawyer to process all the legal documentations in other to cover the funds and to make it free form sale of drugs,terrorism or narcotics and that the funds will deinitely come clean into your account.

Please let us communicate daily Would that help? and I ssure you that Dr.Festus Edu is a good lawyer and not a terorist.You have the right to inform the bankers so.It is your money and it is your right to send it to any where and the reason for sending the fees is genuine.

By the way,for how long do we have to wait for their confirmation and your update to me because very soon the external auditors of our bank will come in for our 2nd quarter audit and if they find the funds still floating,they will confiscate it and all our good efforts will go in vain.Please do not allow this to happen.

As for the strike,I understand form the news tonight that it may not hold but that is government news.By tomorrow morning,we will know the exact position.

Bjorn,you will see that my country which is the 6th largest producer of oil is still backward because of high corruption and this is why I want you and I to take advantage and secure this $32.27m well with you.

Awaiting your response.

Belo

From lawyer festus:

Quote:

Dear Client,

After I read your mail to me this morning,I felt embarrassed,shocked,harrassed and to say the least surprised that my family name is on the watch list of terrorists.This is� BLATANT LIE.

The family I come from is a well placed famliy in Nigeria and a well Known one.One of my brothers was a Governor of a state here and one also was a former Minister.That is a top federal governemt offcial and so,how can we be associated with terrorism.?This is not ture.

With over my 10 years so far in legal practice with foreigners,I have never been told what you just told me in your mail of yesterday and I am obviously and totally upset about it.

Moreover,the account I gave to you has nothing to do with terrorism.It is a company's account which I use all the time to receive foreign payments like yours.If you want to send the funds directly to me in Nigeria through western union,I can also tell you how to send it.But I have never had any prblems since the days of 9/11 with the account or receiving funds from abroad.

Yes,I do agree that ,funds world wide are being monitored all around but not a small amount of $19,500.00.Even your inheritance funds of about $32.m also will be covered by law here and that is why my fees and charges are as high as that and so,I am not disturned about the fact that funds are being monitored.But I take total exception to the fact that my family name is being connected to Terrorism.Let me have the details.

More especially,their is no such name as FRANK in my family that I am aware of.

It is not complicated sending small amount like yours.May be because you have not done it before and that was why I instructed you how to talk to your bankers and telling you what to do.Remitting funds through swift is one of the easiest things bankers do every day.

The strike in my country begins today but will not last long as the government is taling with the labour unions.Thank you for your concern.

Awaiting your response.

Dr.Edu

BLATANT LIE, eh? Very Happy

Looks like half his family was in the gouvernment. Also note the Western Union method, perhaps we get back to that later, when his account is shut down.

To be continued...

*** BANNED *** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 3779

It is not the first time that a lad used a bank account in the name of Shankar�s Emporium. They have an office in Lagos and perhaps one of their employees has a second income...

Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2004 5:19 pm

Here we go again:

Quote:

Dear Festus,

don't worry, I do not believe that you could be a terrorist. It's surely just
a coincidence, that the terrorist has the same last name as you.

I talked to the SVFS three hours today, and finally they gave me a form to be filled in by you. Your answers will then be checked, and if everything is
allright, the funds can be tranferred within a few days.

So, please send me the completed form as soon as possible.

It might be an option to send the funds by western union, but if i have the ok from the authorities I can send it via swift, no problem.

Let me make sure again, nobody suspects you to be a terrorist, its just that
there is somebody with the same surname on the watch list.

No idea what SVFS is, just sounds good...

From Ige:

Quote:

Bjorn,
I really do not expect nor anticipate that yoiu can keep me quiet and not writting to me in two days.Something must be wrong which you ahve nmot told me.
Please tell me exactly what is going on between you and me.I am not happy that I am being igniored more espcially for some one who is with my pic as an evidence that we are in partnership.
I am disturbed.Tell me what is in your mind.
Have you heard anyhting form your lawyer yet?
The strike is on here and nothing can be done until the strike is over say early next week.
Let us keep in touch always.
If I cannot call you,at least,you can call me.
Regards,
belo

My reply:

Quote:

Dear Ige,

please, do not be alarmed, because of the strike, I thought it would be
pointless to send you mails.

I am still in negotiations with the anti terror devision of the gouvernment to
get the permit to send the money to the lawyer. The problem is, that his
surname is on the terrorist watch list and even if the first names do not
match and the terrorist is from the middle east, the gouvernment doeblechecks everything.

Of course, I have a littgle trouble explaing why I want to send $19,500 to
Singapore via New York.

Perhaps we can use this to get his fee a little down, I will keep you updated!

The lawyer's mailbox is full again (sent some crap from an other account), I complain, and again, then:

Quote:

Dear Client,

Yes,you are right.My mail box is always full because I am a very busy man and I receive a lot of mails and new clients all over the world every time.

My mail box is free now and you can send the form.

Dr.Edu

All over the world, sure....

Quote:

Ige,

I think I worked it all out. The lawyer has to fill in simple form which I am
trying to send to him for three days now. But his mailbox is always full.

As soon he has filled in the form and I sent it to the SVSF it should not be
taking more than 24 hours to get their clearance and I can snd him the funds.

If he finally cleans up his mailbox and I could send him the form.

(The mailbox is full again and again...) Lets see if he sets up a new account for me:

Quote:

Dear Festus,

I was unable to send the form again because of your full mailbox. Would it be possible for you to set up another mailbox just for our communication?

From Ige:

Quote:

Bjorn,
Now that I have heard from you,I can worry less.My worries is basically caused by the simple fact that we cannot communicate by phone.If we do communicate by phone, I will not worry at all.
Also,if we do communicate on phone,I would have properly understood this terrorist problem.
However,I am happy to inform you that the strike has been called off and so,we can communicate on a daily basis as we used to.
Bjorn,I am worried also because of this terrorism thing.Dr.Edu Fesus is not a terrorist.He is not related to any terrorist any where in ths world.That he has a similar name in any country in middle east or Asia is a co-incidence and they do not have any relationship whatso ever.
I understnd the problem you have in explaining to them why you need to send the $19500.Please continue to keep it to yourself so tht we do not fil.
I will suggest that you communicate to Dr.Edu as the strike as ended and ask him to give yo another account say in Europe that will not rise any doubt.Or if you cn send it ohim by western unio in smaller amounts at diffrent western union offices.
Now,tell me did the terrorist people complain about the fact that the $19500 is high?Do they know what you want to use it for?It is none of their business.
As a worker with the king of Sweden,I do not see you having much problems at all in sending the $19500.You told me in your first letter that yo sent out $10,000 to some people.How did you send it?Can you noit use the same way to send this $19500?Why don 't you suggest thsi to Dr.Edu and let us see what he says.
My other worry and concern is borne out of the fact that now that the strike is over,the auditors of our bank would be soon called to audit our books and when they finds this funds floatng in the suspense account,they will query it and ask our Bank Board to call back the funds and our efforts will be in vain.This is what I want us to avoid.
Please,my friend,look for a way you can hasten up {slowing down, ok!} this transaction for God's sake as we have delayed so much as my nlife relly depends on the good success and we must succeed..
I am awaiting your urgent response and positive action.
Belo

Notice, his english is getting bad in stress situations?

The lawyer now has to work on saturdays:

Quote:

Dear Client,

Today is Saturday and I am at work to clear all� backlog of mails from clients since our country labour union went on strike.

I am happy to inform you that the strike is now over and we can continue our assignment.

To agree with you,I have opened another email address for faster and easier communication with you.My new email address is [email protected]

I understand that yahoo! mail box is so big and can contain a lot of documents.So I wait the receipt of the form and I will fill it out for you immediately and resend back to you.

Dr.Edu

Ok, sent him the form (we will see it later in the bait).

Quote:

Bjorn,
What is SVSF?
Ige

I have no idea, mail not answered.

The lawyer now really uses his brain:

Quote:

Dear Client,
I have read your mail and seeing the form.It is simple to fill.
However,before I go ahead to fill it,I want to get a clearer picture from you.
As you know that the account is in Singapore and I am based in Nigeria,do you want my details in Nigeria or you want details of the owner of the account in Singapore to match the account details.
The reason is that I do not want any body to suspect you as you already know that your $32.27 is in Nigeria Bank here ready to be sent to you.
Your return mail will enable me to complete the form and sent back to you.
Dr.Edu

Quote:

Dear Festus,

as you are the ine who issued the invoice, you details in Nigeria must appear in the form.

Reviewing your invoice, I think I found the reason for all the questions: You
spelled my name wrong, you wrote "Bjon" instead of "Bjorn"! {Aaah! *SLAP*}

Perhaps that is why everything is delayed. Please sedn me the invoice again with the correct details, I hope this will speed things up.

I knew, the missepelled name would come in handy...

The lawyer then sent the correct invoice and the filled form:

Quote:

Dear Client,
As you can see from the attached,I have carefully filled the form and redid the invoice as you suggested.
I hope it meets with your expectations so that we can go forward with this assignment that is taking unnecessarily too long.
I wish your country well in their soccer match against Bulgaria today. I pray for your country to win.
Sincerely Yours,
Dr.Edu

Regards to Mountain_Cat_1M for the idea .

Somehow, Ige is sending very short mails lately:

Quote:

Bjorn,
Any news from the lawyer yet?
Ige

To the lawyer:

Quote:

Dear Edu,

thank you very much for your prayers, I am sure they helped!

Thank you also for the invoice and the filled form, I am sure I can make the payment tomorrow, as today all banks were closed to celebrate the 5:0
victory.

To Ige:

Quote:

Ige,
I think I solved most problems with the authrities and will send the payment to the lawyer tomorrow.

I really thin he does not want to play with me any longer, his answers are so short:

Quote:

Bjorn,
Thanks for the update.
Awaiting further updates.
Ige

Two days of silence, not sure what to do...

Quote:

Bjorn,
How are you today.I am worried once again as to your silence for the past 2-3 days.What is really going on? I need to know and please do not ignore me again.Just tell me the position of things.
Belo

Let's shake him good:

Quote:

Dear Ige,

today I went to the bank to send the money to the lawyer. On the way, I met my lawyer, and we had a little talk. I told him, what I was up to and he warned me, not to send any money to Nigeria, the "business" I am going to do is a "419 advance fee fraud", for sure.

Ige, I am totally confused now, I mean I have seen the documents you send me and they seem all legit to me {Ha!}, but my lawyer insists that these are forged.

Can you give me any proof, that this is a real business and not a scam?

And a longer message again Laughing

Quote:

Bjorn,

The contents of your last mail is very shocking and I am embarrased at it.I am to say the least very surprised for you to have written to me what you wrote.

You will remember that i told you in my second leter the fact that this business require utmost confidentality becaue I know that people usually are not happy seeing their friends or brother having so much funds at their disposal.Lawyers included.{espacially lawyers!}

Therefore,you will also know that you and I have gone a long way in this transaction,spanning over 2 months now. {only one month and a few days}

Now,come off it,Bjorn,why should I be involved in a fraud? {Perhaps to get $19,500 from me?} Have I not sent you my pic with the password as you have directed?If I was a fraud,will I do it? {Of course not, how could I!}

I am shocked once more and will like to tell you that it is upto you to go ahead with me or not.You have everything to gain by working with me and nothing to lose {Except for $ 19,500!} by working with me.We have really come a long way. {And it will be longer!}

What more proof do you want aside form the bank papers I sent to you and my personal pic.?

Also,you were going to pay this money last Tuesday only for you to come today being Friday to to tell me this story.I am totally upset and deserve an apology from you for accusing me falsely and betrayal of trust.

Once more,THIS IS A REAL BUISNESS.IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SCAM.OK? {Ok, if it is in capital letters, it must be real!}

Belo

Ok, lets blame the lawyer (mail to Ige):

Quote:

Ige,

I had a long talk with my lawyer again. Blease do not blame me for telling
him, we know each other since school and fought in two wars together.

We then went to the high priest of the Reformed Church of Odin and Thor, ( Wink

) made a sacrifice (just 2 sheep) and asked the runes.

We are now sure, that you are not a scammer, but almost sure the lawyer is:

The lawyer charges $6,000 for "stamp duty" My lawyer asked the Nigerian
authorities: There is no such duty.

He is completely incompetent, he spelled my name wrong on important documents.

His name is - as you already know - on the terrorist watch list.

Three weeks ago, he told me, he has to go to Hague to the International Court, but he is still in Nigeria, why?

Why is the lawyer using the account of an electronics company in Singapore and why has the payment to be made via New York?

You see, there seems to be something wrong with him. Please can you make contact to another lawyer? Just to get a quotation what he would charge for the processing of the douments.

Let's see what happens now...

Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 8:48 pm

The saga continues!

Ige is not amused at all:

Quote:

Bjorn,
I am still wondering what the problem about the lawyer is.
I started suspecting suspecting fishy when you informed me that the lawyer's name is on the terrorist wacth.This si not true becasue I asked you to send to em an evidence and uptuill now,you refused to send oit to me.
I have done all you have been asking me to.I went to the extent of even risking my self by taking a pic with the password you gave to me. {Why is there a risk to take a picture???} What more confirmation is better than that?eh?
If you are in doubt about who the lawyer really is,you can also ask him to take a pic with the password. {Already did, as if you did not know!}
Getting another lawyer is no problem.But the issue here is that from my enquiries,the Dr.Edu Festus is well known at the bank and will find the processing and transfer of the funds easier and less expensive for us.Moreover,no other lawyer will process this funds free or less than what he has given to us.
I do not believe you that your lawyer asked the Nigerian authorities about Stamp duty.This is not true.Stamp duty if you must know is a world wide thing and not restricted to Nigeria alone and it is a well known process at the courts every where.What kind of lawyer do you even deal and associate with?
This trasnaction is my initiatve and we must follow it my way be cause I am here and knows very well the workings of the Nigerian system.You cannot sit up there and dictate to me how things should follow.
Belo

The lawyer does not know anyting yet:

Quote:

Dera Client,
For close to one week now,I have not heard from you.
Are my still working for you as I will be out of this country �by friday this week?
I need to know to enbale me give detailede briefing to my colleagues here before I travel out.
Dr.Edu

Let's make thing worse, to Ige:

Quote:

Ige,

as long as I can not be sure that I will not loose my $19,500 I will not sent
anything to this phony lawyer.

The main concern is: Why is the money going to Singapore, not Nigeria? Why to the account of an electronics company, not a law firm?

How would a picture help to decide whether he is a real lawyer or not.

My lawyer is running a background check at the lawyer at the moment, we will se what it will say.

To the lawyer:

Quote:

Edu,

my lawyer insists, that the whole business is a so called "419 advance fee fraud", I wont believe it, but there is a very suspicious:

Why is the money to be sent to an electronics company in Singapore, not
Nigeria or even a law firm?

Please can you tell me what is going on here, and why the money has to go this company?

Ige feels like crying. Good:

Quote:

Bjorn,
If you cannot truust the lawyer that was introduced by me who you trust,then we may not continue thisa transaction because if you do not trust him,it means by extension that you do not trust me,even if I have given youa pic as you instructed in your first letter.
This lawyer is not phoney at all and you can do any form of background checks as you want,you are free.I first noticed your negative attitude when you lleged that the lawyer's name is in the terrorist watch list.This is a lie.Why are you shying away from sending me the list you saw his name.I am not happy wiuth you at all.
Why should you lose the $19500?If you cannot have faith in this business,what is the guarantee that you will not run away with the $49.5m when it eventually comes into your account?
If you are not happy with the kind of account the lawyer gave to you,why don't you tell him and demand for another one.Or do you want to send it to me?If the amount of $19500 is too high for you to pay,why don't you tell the lawyer to see how he can reduce the fees for you?This is not fair from your side at all.
I had taken youa s a brother and sent you all you requested about my person,yet you are writting thsi to me.I feel like crying.
Ige

Oh yea, I am really unfair, am I?

And now for something completely different:

From Franz van Helsing, my lawyer and psychiatrist:

Quote:

Dear Dr. Edu,
dear Mr. Ige,

please allow me to introduce myself: I am Dr. Franz van Helsing,
psychiatrist and lawyer to Mr. Bjorn Smorebroed. It seems that Mr.
Smorebroed has some bsuiness with you.

Please let me explain the following: Mr. Smorebroed and I fought
together in the first gulf war. There, after the victory in a brothel
in Kuwait, we got into a gunfight. Mr. Smorebroed was serious wounded
and we all thought he would die. He survived, but the surgeons can not
get the bullet out of his head. Therefor he acts sometimes very
strange, especially under certain weather conditions. He then thinks,
everybody wants to betray him, accuses everybody of being dumb, thinks
the government is after him etc.

I presume, this happened to you.

I put Mr. Smorebroed in the mental hospital, where he has to stay at
least six months for recovery.

Please, can you tell me, what business Mr. Smorebroed was about to do
with you. Does he owe you any money? Is he supposed to do something?
Please tell me, as his lawyer, I can take care of anything on his
behalf.

Kind regards,
Dr. Franz van Helsing

I do not know if this will work, let's see what happens.... Wink

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 01 Apr 2004 Posts: 751

Excellent bait, Bjorn! Good, clean family fun. I look forward to the next installment. I especially like how you fill this guy's mailbox up with crap. Good tactic!

Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 7:25 pm

Regarding the crap, I use my "your file is attached" modality:

Code:

1. No attachment (sorry, *self-slap*)
2. 2 MB Junk-File (rename a .dll as .jpg or on a linux box use
dd if=/dev/urandom of=filename.jpg count=3578
this gives you a file of 3578 blocks of totally random data
3. before step 2, send some of these junk-files from different emails or ask some fellow baiters to do it. (Just a few lines "Here is the requested file")
4. *SLAP* for the full mailbox.
5. Repeat Steps 2-3 as often as you like
6. After he has set up a new email account, send the real file at last. (But all jpgs have to be at least 1 MB, increase resolution, add distortion so it does not compress well etc.)

Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 7:31 pm

Ok, the lads still complain, but Bjorn cannot answer from the nuthouse:

Ige:

Quote:

Bjorn,
You should know that I had never mentioned about any $49.5m to you in the past.
I had became furious and made a mistake when I was typing.I had $29.5m in mind and not even $32.27 that I learnt from you.Don't you make mistakes?Have I ever talked about $49.5m to you before?
Come off it.
Tell me,how can you trust another lawyer?Why are you evading this terrorist watch list that I had asked you to send to me.
Getting another lawyer may not be a problem to me.What guaratees arev there that you will not come again with another condition and say the lawyer is a suspect in another watch list.
As for me,how can I make you to trust me?What in your case?how have I trusted you?what if you receive the $32.27 into your account and disappears?who loses?
Belo

Dr. Festus Edu:

Quote:

My Client,
I take exception you to your associating me with the so called advance fee fraud.Were you not the person that wrote to me seeking my help to process the release of your inheritance fudns.I asked for the certificates and you were the same persont hat sent it to me.Who is now been alleged to be involved in fraud.you or me?I seriously take exceptio to this �unfounded and baseless accusation.If that is what you have in mind,I am ready to discontinue this legal relationship with you as I have a reputaion built over a very long time.If I awas fake or fraud as you claim,would I have gone the extra mile by sending to you my picture with your password sign on it?See,I travel worldwide and will not have been free if I was dubious as you claim.
�
Talking about the account to receive my fees,yes,you are right and it is my duty to explain to you.The account is what I have been using to receive funds from foreigners only because in my country,we are not allowed to receive foreign currencies into any of the Nigeria Banks.You will agree with me that my country is a third world country and we are not developed yet like yours and so,to fight excessive foreign funds in our financial system,we are not allowed to receive funds into account through the banks here.
But,we can receive through western union.If you want to send the funds by western union,it will be in bits of say 6 installmets and I am ready to receive same.It is just that I wanted you to send it at once,hence I gave you an account.
But if you are not comfortable with the account,feel free to suggest to me how you want to send it.
Dr.Edu

After some thinking, 5 hours later, Dr. Edu again:

Quote:

Dear Mr.Smorebroed,
As a follow up to my earlier mail today,you will remember sending to me a form with the title 'permission to export funds' 'which I completed and filled and returned back to you.If I was a fraud like you allege,do you think I will go to the extent of exposing myself to you?
Dr.Edu

These mails are unanswered... I have the strange feeling, that some horrible and unbelievable accident will happen to Mr. Smorebroed soon, and that 2 gentleman are mentioned in his will... with absolute strange and shocking modalities Wink

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 01 Apr 2004 Posts: 751

That's too bad. I was just warming up to Mr. Smorebroed. He seemed like such a nice chap.

Posted: Fri Jun 25, 2004 1:49 pm

Yup, ol' Bjorn was surely the butter on the bread.

Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2004 5:59 pm

Ige still won't believe that Bjorn can't answer:

Quote:

I can see that you are no longer interested in concluding this project with me.

(Unanswered, of course)

Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2004 11:53 am

Bjorn, you rule Smile

Or simply put: endgeil Very Happy

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 01 Apr 2004 Posts: 751

That may be the one thing that pisses me off the most about dead people - their disinterest in concluding projects. Well, that and their poor hygiene.

Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2004 5:40 pm

I think this was too much, no reply yet:

From Franz van Helsing on Monday (28.6.04):

Quote:

Dear Mr. Belo,
dear Mr. Festus,

I think I have bad news for you: Mr. Bjorn Smorebroed you were dealing
with is dead.

Please find enclosed an article from a local newspaper.

As his lawyer, I already had a quick look at his will, and saw, that
you both are mentioned. I will contact you with the details and
modalities in a few days.

The "choked on vomit (not his own)" idea is from "This is Spinal Tap", the modalities of the burial from Manowar lyrics. BTW: Manowar lyrics are an execllent source if you want to set up a "Church of Odin" or something like that!

So Bjorn is dead. Is he? Strange things are going on!

Sent Tuesday (29.6.04):

Quote:

Ige,

they are still after me! I do not know what they told you, but they got me two weeks ago. I was just able to flee and have to be careful now. This is the first time I could get access to an computer.

Perhaps they told you I am dead or something like that, but that is not true.

Kind regards,
Bjorn Smorebroed

No reply yet

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